Hiking as a first date with an online dating match - dangerous?

YellowLead · 23-12-2020 04:05PM

zoobizoo wrote: »

And you could bring a nice dessert.... or a flask of hot chocolate.

Good idea! I definitely want to contribute in some way.

23-12-2020 04:18PM

Is it just me in thinking that most people here think it's bad idea and yet the op still thinks it's a good one.
It makes me wonder why people ask for advice only to ignore it.

Hope we hear from you again yellowlead

blue note · 23-12-2020 04:21PM

Best of luck - I hope you have fun!

YellowLead · 23-12-2020 04:32PM

SouthWesterly wrote: »

Is it just me in thinking that most people here think it's bad idea and yet the op still thinks it's a good one.
It makes me wonder why people ask for advice only to ignore it.

Hope we hear from you again yellowlead

Not everybody has been advising against it - there have been both opinions. If it was a solid it’s a terrible idea consensus I might have changed my mind. I genuinely did want to hear both sides of the argument though and I have appreciated all of the posts. It was opinion as well as advice I was after too.

YellowLead · 23-12-2020 04:32PM

blue note wrote: »

Best of luck - I hope you have fun!

Thanks - it’s not until the 29th so I’ll stick an update in then

eviltwin · 23-12-2020 05:17PM

I wouldn’t - not because I think you’re going to end up murdered or anything. It’s just being stuck somewhere with someone if it turns out you don’t click. It will be a long date if you don’t gel. I always say to my kids when you meet someone for the first time always go somewhere you can easily leave if you need to. A hike does sound nice alright but I’d leave it until I knew the person a bit better.

osarusan · 23-12-2020 05:26PM

I think the chance of being attacked is minimal, but the possibility of you not clicking and still being stuck in each other's company for a couple of hours is not minimal.

Maybe wait until you know for sure that you do click and that such a date will go well.

Sonic the Shaghog · 23-12-2020 05:43PM

SouthWesterly wrote: »

Is it just me in thinking that most people here think it's bad idea and yet the op still thinks it's a good one.
It makes me wonder why people ask for advice only to ignore it.

Hope we hear from you again yellowlead

Honestly I feel like if 9 out 10 say no the OP will go with the 1 yes alright.

YellowLead · 23-12-2020 05:48PM

Sonic the Shaghog wrote: »

Honestly I feel like if 9 out 10 say no the OP will go with the 1 yes alright.

I didn’t come on boards looking to be instructed what to do EXACTLY (now that would be a little weird) - I was just looking for perspectives

eviltwin · 23-12-2020 05:58PM

YellowLead wrote: »

I didn’t come on boards looking to be instructed what to do EXACTLY (now that would be a little weird) - I was just looking for perspectives

Trust your gut. You have spoken to this guy, we haven’t. Personally I wouldn’t do it but that doesn’t mean I’m right and your wrong. Just let someone know where you are and all the other precautions. I’m sure it will be fine and hopefully you have a lovely date.

o1s1n · 23-12-2020 06:11PM

Gotta hope no actual murderers are reading this thread and getting ideas that they can actually ask strangers to meet them up the mountains.

'and here I was like a fool kidnapping them and dragging them up the mountains when it turns out they'll go up on their own volition!'

Joking aside, I'm another one in the 'this is not a good idea' camp OP, for the multitude of reasons mention already. Seems a bit too cavalier and almost how a teenager would react to being told something is dangerous.

I'm sure you'll be fine but do check in afterwards so we're not all left worrying!

YellowLead · 23-12-2020 06:16PM

o1s1n wrote: »

Gotta hope no actual murderers are reading this thread and getting ideas that they can actually ask strangers to meet them up the mountains.

'and here I was like a fool kidnapping them and dragging them up the mountains when it turns out they'll go up on their own volition!'

Joking aside, I'm another one in the 'this is not a good idea' camp OP, for the multitude of reasons mention already. Seems a bit too cavalier and almost how a teenager would react to being told something is dangerous.

I'm sure you'll be fine but do check in afterwards so we're not all left worrying!

Thanks for your post. I’m not going anywhere remote per se - any time I have been on these trials they are usually quite busy and I would imagine they will be esp in covid times as there’s isn’t a lot to do bar walk. If I arrive and there is nobody there I will just suggest we sit in the car park and chat and maybe drive to a nearby town (separate cars) perhaps I am a tad cavalier and if I’m honest if it was my daughter I’d probably be saying are you mad and id insist on following

but I’m going with my gut.

YellowLead · 23-12-2020 06:17PM

It’s interesting that most people would say no - I must ask him if he has done this as a date before

LLMMLL · 23-12-2020 06:20PM

I'd say go and enjoy.

Yes most people are saying no but people are notoriously bad at assessing risk.

wally79 · 23-12-2020 06:21PM

The shovel is just for cleaning up after the dogs. Honest

accensi0n · 23-12-2020 06:22PM

Plot twist, YellowLead is actually an axe murderer.

YellowLead · 23-12-2020 06:23PM

accensi0n wrote: »

Plot twist, YellowLead is actually an axe murderer.

Doing my market research - lol

bitofabind · 23-12-2020 06:24PM

I've probably been burned too many times by the bad dates with guys who I got on SO well with for the weeks / hours we texted and chatted over the phone to do something like this. Not sure if you're new to dating and less jaded OP, but please remember: real-life can be a world of difference to the online buildup. You can meet someone and immediately either one of you feels an instant "HELL NO" and then be stuck with them for hours.

My rule of thumb has always been to give myself an easy out. Coffee date, or walk around the park, with a very definite deadline to leave because I've got plans.

23-12-2020 06:28PM

I don't see the harm, chatting with someone while you stroll around for an hour or so isn't the biggest hardship. Even if there's no spark you might get to mess about with his dogs along the way. Be sure to make some sort of joke about wondering if you'll be able to spot the place he intends to try murder and bury you, though.

givyjoe · 23-12-2020 06:34PM

MrsBean wrote: »

A work colleague of mine once went on a first date hike with someone. She turned on 'share my location' on her iphone with her best friend as a precaution.
She also made it clear she had other plans for afterwards and drove there in her own car.
As I recall I think she had her friend ring her during the date to check in too.

Not sure I'd do it myself. Maybe suggest a beach walk or park wall instead if you feel iffy about it.

If anyone really feels they need to do all of the above, perhaps don't go on a date with the guy or do something else.

Car99 · 23-12-2020 07:24PM

LLMMLL wrote: »

I'd say go and enjoy.

Yes most people are saying no but people are notoriously bad at assessing risk.

Obviously

Ubbquittious · 23-12-2020 07:37PM

I tried to get a girlie to go on a walk with me in the hills for a first date and she refused because she was worried I would murder her.

Felt quite insulted really, we had been chatting a good while and she has me down as a potential murderer. It's a load of sh1t.

Anyway,got over that and went for a meal instead. Felt awkward because there was a lot of corona around that time and the place was almost full to capacity. Would have felt much more at ease on a mountain path

Augme · 23-12-2020 07:39PM

Two things jump out at me from this thread.

1. The dangerous impact that "stranger danger" has had on society. From a personal safety point of view If you are the type of person who would be horrified about going on a first date in the mountains but would be happy to do it as a second date after quick first date coffee you need to have a good think about that strategy.

2. I can see why people hate online dating so much when they invest a much into someone they haven't met before and then regret with such disappointment when they don't fancy them.

I've been on some very enjoyable first dates were I knew instantly I wasn't attracted to them but was still enjoyed their company and enjoyed the experience.

TheadoreT · 23-12-2020 07:51PM

Augme wrote: »

Two things jump out at me from this thread.

1. The dangerous impact that "stranger danger" has had on society. From a personal safety point of view If you are the type of person who would be horrified about going on a first date in the mountains but would be happy to do it as a second date after quick first date coffee you need to have a good think about that strategy.

2. I can see why people hate online dating so much when they invest a much into someone they haven't met before and then regret with such disappointment when they don't fancy them.

I've been on some very enjoyable first dates were I knew instantly I wasn't attracted to them but was still enjoyed their company and enjoyed the experience.

Its more "male danger" than stranger danger. A lot of females reticence about meeting up for first time is all too sadly due to a bad experience or many in the past with creepy men. It's very valid.
I think gut instinct after meeting someone for a brief coffee as you said would tell them a lot more than you'd think. They say a females gut instinct is stronger than mens, its probably because it has to be as a subconscious survival mechanism.

YellowLead · 23-12-2020 08:17PM

Augme wrote: »

I've been on some very enjoyable first dates were I knew instantly I wasn't attracted to them but was still enjoyed their company and enjoyed the experience.

I can so relate to this. I genuinely don’t go as far as meeting up with somebody unless I’m certain we get on. Ive made some good male friends actually from this.
I did a few times try throwing caution to the wind and not having much chat and those were the dates that kind of bombed.

Sonic the Shaghog · 23-12-2020 08:27PM

bitofabind wrote: »

I've probably been burned too many times by the bad dates with guys who I got on SO well with for the weeks / hours we texted and chatted over the phone to do something like this. Not sure if you're new to dating and less jaded OP, but please remember: real-life can be a world of difference to the online buildup. You can meet someone and immediately either one of you feels an instant "HELL NO" and then be stuck with them for hours.

My rule of thumb has always been to give myself an easy out. Coffee date, or walk around the park, with a very definite deadline to leave because I've got plans.

This is exactly it. I've thought 100% I've clicked so well on the phone chatting with ones and when we met it was like talking to a different person and it felt like I met their sister.

This is why I don't so the "even if we don't click it will be a nice chat for a few hours" thing cause it can and has backfired

YellowLead · 23-12-2020 08:35PM

Sonic the Shaghog wrote: »

This is exactly it. I've thought 100% I've clicked so well on the phone chatting with ones and when we met it was like talking to a different person and it felt like I met their sister.

This is why I don't so the "even if we don't click it will be a nice chat for a few hours" thing cause it can and has backfired

Each to their own

this has never happened to me so I guess if it does then I’ll change my approach!

Curious_Case · 23-12-2020 08:38PM

YellowLead wrote: »

I’ve been asked on a hike with a guy I matched with on bumble after chatting for a while including over the phone. This will be the first date. I didn’t really think twice about saying yes as it’s part of the Dublin mountains that’s always busy with lots of walkers and I like the idea of getting out in the fresh air (outdoors is the only option really for dates at the moment). He is bringing his dogs.
However when I mentioned it to a male friend he told me I was very stupid to agree to this and that I would end up dead and buried. I know where this guy works and he used to work where I work now and he knows I know all of this detail because he told me. Am I crazy to agree or is my friend just thinking worst case scenario and freaking out over nothing?

It sounds fine to me, maybe he's not a nightclub type anyway?

A dangerous type would be more likely to employ some type of half-baked scheme I think,
you know the type - "Oh no, the car won't start, now we have to walk home, lucky I know a short cut"

Above-board people think nothing of initiating the kinds of scenarios that creeps delight in.

23-12-2020 08:49PM

Sonic the Shaghog wrote: »

This is exactly it. I've thought 100% I've clicked so well on the phone chatting with ones and when we met it was like talking to a different person and it felt like I met their sister.

This is why I don't so the "even if we don't click it will be a nice chat for a few hours" thing cause it can and has backfired

There should be an app for that, where you each agree a nominal "walk away" fee as part of the date and when you walk up and think "Nuh-uh", then you just hit the button in the app and walk away having bought back an hour or so of your life.

Bigdig69 · 23-12-2020 10:30PM

Nooooooppppee dont. Even aside from the possible risk it is just too much commitment for what is a first meet.

Hiking as a first date with an online dating match - dangerous?

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