Engagement Ring

Luca G · 06-11-2020 12:23PM

screamer wrote: »

It’s a tricky one, some people are very materialistic and want ridiculous amounts spent on it so they can show off, other people are more modest or would rather that money went to a house deposit or something more useful. Spend what you can afford and what you feel comfortable with, and remember a big rock or a small one, doesn’t make you any more or less engaged.

Yeah my girlfriend isnt one of those who show off and would want to spend it on house deposit or something .
Thanks for your advice.

3DataModem · 06-11-2020 12:27PM

Have a look at some of the antique and jewellry shops in town. Some beautiful rings with character... amazing what they used to be able to do wirth 0.5 carats. Might get away with a couple of grand or three.

For examples:

https://weldons.ie/shop/diamond-solitaire-ring/

https://weldons.ie/shop/oval-diamond-engagement-ring-2/

Luca G · 06-11-2020 12:34PM

I think a token ring is the way to go as I am looking at spending around 5k but I think it would be good idea if she goes and looks at rings aswell as I would be stuck with a 5k ring then. As long as she happy I'm happy.

Only thing putting me off a token ring is they wouldn't put a surprise on your face when you propose compared to a big shiny diamond .

I think its definitely worth insurance what would th eff insurance be on a 5k ring do you get it from the same place you buy the ring ?

woodchuck · 06-11-2020 12:38PM

Pintman Paddy Losty wrote: »

You need to be forking out at least 5k for a ring in my opinion. It's embarrassing for women who have to pretend they're happy with some tiny single diamond when they're friends have proper rocks.

I'm sorry, but that's a ridiculous thing to say. I tried on a lot of rings, from the cheap to the outrageously expensive. The larger more expensive ones looked terrible on my hand. Like costume jewellery! They just didn't suit me at all.

I ended up with a small solitaire, because that's what I love and it suits my hand perfectly. I certainly don't feel embarrassed by the size/cost!

People should choose what they like within their budget. They shouldn't be spending as much money as possible just for the sake of it.

Uncle Pierre · 06-11-2020 01:15PM

Luca G wrote: »

what would th eff insurance be on a 5k ring do you get it from the same place you buy the ring ?

Jewellers sell a lot of things, but they don't sell insurance.

You'd be adding it as a specified item on your ordinary house insurance, if the value is above whatever threshold is covered as standard. As I stated previously, the threshold is €2,500 on our own insurance and the ring is valued at just under that, so we're covered that way. A side issue is that given the figures that other people are bandying about, I'm looking more and more like a cheapskate....

As for what it might cost....think somebody else above said that annual insurance on her €5,000 ring is in the region of €100?

1hnr79jr65 · 06-11-2020 03:17PM

Pintman Paddy Losty wrote: »

You need to be forking out at least 5k for a ring in my opinion. It's embarrassing for women who have to pretend they're happy with some tiny single diamond when they're friends have proper rocks.

That line is such a crock of bull its unreal, not every woman cares about the cost value of a ring. To most women the personal value of what the ring represents has more meaning.

At the time my wife and I were saving for deposit on house, that was the priority for us, I got a really nice ring with rose, yellow and white gold with a single diamond for around €750 and my wife loved it.

Op, you don't need to break the bank on rings, no more than someone needs to take an extra loan for a wedding. Buy what you are comfortable spending as there is a lot of life stuff later on down the road.

Xtrail14 · 06-11-2020 10:40PM

Not nice to be picking on Paddy just because others are living on the rock and roll.

jlm29 · 07-11-2020 12:17AM

If insuring on your house insurance just be sure to check what’s actually covered. Some policies cover you for more than others.

CivilCybil · 07-11-2020 02:17PM

The answer is whatever you can afford OP. And I'd go the route of token ring and then discuss a budget and let her be involved in picking her ring.

I don't like the idea of a diamond so got a sapphire and moissanite engagement ring. It was ~900euro.
I love it. And because it wasn't insanely priced I'm not worried about losing it or it getting bashed. I never take it off.
Best of luck OP

07-11-2020 02:23PM

CivilCybil wrote: »

The answer is whatever you can afford OP. And I'd go the route of token ring and then discuss a budget and let her be involved in picking her ring.

I don't like the idea of a diamond so got a sapphire and moissanite engagement ring

Good point! Make sure your other half actually wants a diamond! You've reminded me of a work colleague from years ago who thought it would be romantic to surprise his girfriend with a diamond ring. Naturally, the poor guy bought a diamond, when it turned out she wanted a sapphire ring. Luckily, he was allowed to return it and they ended up getting a ring made that his girlfriend designed herself.

witchgirl26 · 09-11-2020 11:06AM

3DataModem wrote: »

Have a look at some of the antique and jewellry shops in town. Some beautiful rings with character... amazing what they used to be able to do wirth 0.5 carats. Might get away with a couple of grand or three.

For examples:

https://weldons.ie/shop/diamond-solitaire-ring/

https://weldons.ie/shop/oval-diamond-engagement-ring-2/

I got my ring in Weldons & I love it but don't assume that antique equals lower cost. Mine was about the same price as other places we were looking but I just fell in love with it because it was a bit more unique. The one thing with antique places though is there might be wiggle room on the price.

Luca G wrote: »

Only thing putting me off a token ring is they wouldn't put a surprise on your face when you propose compared to a big shiny diamond .

Speaking as someone who was proposed to with a token ring that has a ruby instead of a diamond, the surprise on my face wasn't anything to do with the stone & more to do with the ring being there & the proposal.

Pintman Paddy Losty wrote: »

You need to be forking out at least 5k for a ring in my opinion. It's embarrassing for women who have to pretend they're happy with some tiny single diamond when they're friends have proper rocks.

I have a small enough single diamond (ok there are 2 smaller baguette diamonds either side of it) and I love it. I'm not pretending - hell I picked it myself! In fact my OH wanted me to go for a bigger stone but it just didn't suit me at all when I tried them on. I think it's more important to get a ring you love as opposed to just getting a big rock. Plus I wouldn't have been happy wearing a massively expensive ring every day - I'd be bloody paranoid about it all the time!

antiskeptic · 09-11-2020 09:36PM

as_mo_bhosca wrote: »

I think it depends on what you can afford. Do not listen to rubbish about 2/3 months salary. This is just a marketing campaign from De Beers diamonds and frankly would be a ridiculous amount of money to spend on a ring. My gf drives a car currently worth about 5k, if I spent 10-15k on a ring, I think she'd prefer a newer car!
ETA: diamond industry/fecking eejits say I should spend 10-15k on a ring. I just spent a little over 1800 on a half carat diamond set in an 18 carat gold solitaire setting. IMHO opinion, and hers more importantly, it's all about the sparkle of the diamond!

The whole notion of a) a diamond having value b) being set in an engagement ring is a marketing campaign of De Beers!

Along the lines of "Happiness is a cigar called Hamlet"

Whether you spend a weeks salary or 2-3 months salary makes no odds.

https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/1982/02/have-you-ever-tried-to-sell-a-diamond/304575/

as_mo_bhosca · 10-11-2020 01:17AM

antiskeptic wrote: »

The whole notion of a) a diamond having value b) being set in an engagement ring is a marketing campaign of De Beers!

Along the lines of "Happiness is a cigar called Hamlet"

Whether you spend a weeks salary or 2-3 months salary makes no odds.

https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/1982/02/have-you-ever-tried-to-sell-a-diamond/304575/

I totally agree with this. They really have no real value outside of the marketing. But you try telling that to a woman who has her heart set on a diamond!

antiskeptic · 10-11-2020 06:26PM

as_mo_bhosca wrote: »

I totally agree with this. They really have no real value outside of the marketing. But you try telling that to a woman who has her heart set on a diamond!

I suppose telling her, whilst on bended knee, that you're sorry that your token of love has dropped 50% in value in the few days since you bought it, would ruin the moment.

Like, it's even worse than buying a new car. And that's bad enough.

Tricky one that: signing up to be a shill for De Beers vs. disappointing a brainwashed beloved.

as_mo_bhosca · 10-11-2020 08:44PM

antiskeptic wrote: »

I suppose telling her, whilst on bended knee, that you're sorry that your token of love has dropped 50% in value in the few days since you bought it, would ruin the moment.

Like, it's even worse than buying a new car. And that's bad enough.

Tricky one that: signing up to be a shill for De Beers vs. disappointing a brainwashed beloved.

Tell me about it! Luckily she's worth losing the money on! Knowing exactly how the diamond
myth was created v knowing that she really has her heart set on a real diamond is a tough one to bear. Luckily she hasn't bought into the 2/3 months salary rubbish, or like a poster here, a minimum of 5k. If all a couple can afford is a cheap ring then so be it. If she throws it back in your face then you've probably had a luck escape.
I always wonder how into expensive rings women would be if there was the expectation to turn around and spend the same amount on a man in return. Maybe some women do, but I've never heard of guy being bought a motorbike /big screen TV /car in return!

Teach30 · 10-11-2020 09:48PM

as_mo_bhosca wrote: »

If she throws it back in your face then you've probably had a luck escape.
I always wonder how into expensive rings women would be if there was the expectation to turn around and spend the same amount on a man in return. Maybe some women do, but I've never heard of guy being bought a motorbike /big screen TV /car in return!

If I was presented with a less expensive option I’d have taken it back. No point pretending to like it an engagement shouldn’t be based on a lie because you were too afraid to tell it straight. If your getting engaged you’d surely know when the other person is into anyways. The “personal value” as someone else described it, wouldn’t come into it for me.

On the whole idea of women giving the man something, call me old fashioned but if I’m throwing out a couple of kids I want something sparkly to distract me from the pain of it. (Yes I know this doesn’t apply to every situation) just my take...

as_mo_bhosca · 10-11-2020 10:12PM

Teach30 wrote: »

If I was presented with a less expensive option I’d have taken it back. No point pretending to like it an engagement shouldn’t be based on a lie because you were too afraid to tell it straight. If your getting engaged you’d surely know when the other person is into anyways. The “personal value” as someone else described it, wouldn’t come into it for me.

On the whole idea of women giving the man something, call me old fashioned but if I’m throwing out a couple of kids I want something sparkly to distract me from the pain of it. (Yes I know this doesn’t apply to every situation) just my take...

Or your give! ðŸ˜‚

eviltwin · 10-11-2020 10:26PM

Teach30 wrote: »

If I was presented with a less expensive option I’d have taken it back. No point pretending to like it an engagement shouldn’t be based on a lie because you were too afraid to tell it straight. If your getting engaged you’d surely know when the other person is into anyways. The “personal value” as someone else described it, wouldn’t come into it for me.

On the whole idea of women giving the man something, call me old fashioned but if I’m throwing out a couple of kids I want something sparkly to distract me from the pain of it. (Yes I know this doesn’t apply to every situation) just my take...

That’s pretty awful. I think it’s the behaviour and the love that matters in a marriage not the tiny trinkets. Honestly that nice bit of bling should not be a priority. I don’t have an engagement ring at all but I’ve been with my husband 25 years next March and it’s not the gifts he’s given me that matters. He doesn’t love me any less because of it. When you have kids it will be his support and practical help that you’ll need not a shiny ring.

1hnr79jr65 · 10-11-2020 10:34PM

Teach30 wrote: »

If I was presented with a less expensive option I’d have taken it back. No point pretending to like it an engagement shouldn’t be based on a lie because you were too afraid to tell it straight. If your getting engaged you’d surely know when the other person is into anyways. The “personal value” as someone else described it, wouldn’t come into it for me.

On the whole idea of women giving the man something, call me old fashioned but if I’m throwing out a couple of kids I want something sparkly to distract me from the pain of it. (Yes I know this doesn’t apply to every situation) just my take...

If personal value means nothing to you, does that mean you only see a partner for their financial value, a personal banking atm?

And on the kids thing, if you were not able to have kids should your partner value you less as you not able to bear offspring and be entitled to his ring back in that case as this seems to be all transaction based from your perspective ?

screamer · 10-11-2020 10:43PM

Teach30 wrote: »

On the whole idea of women giving the man something, call me old fashioned but if I’m throwing out a couple of kids I want something sparkly to distract me from the pain of it. (Yes I know this doesn’t apply to every situation) just my take...

Trust me, when you’re “throwing out a couple of kid”, it’s not your sparkly ring that’ll be distracting you, more like a ring of fire burning into your memory for eternity.

Teach30 · 11-11-2020 12:11AM

Sour Lemonz wrote: »

If personal value means nothing to you, does that mean you only see a partner for their financial value, a personal banking atm?

And on the kids thing, if you were not able to have kids should your partner value you less as you not able to bear offspring and be entitled to his ring back in that case as this seems to be all transaction based from your perspective ?

It’s the age old adage love or money, I know which I require in larger amounts!
I have friends of a similar mindset, and the ring was very important part of the deal. Also on not having children, I’d consider keeping the home a part of that deal also. I can’t see my partner cooking/cleaning etc. That’s just us mind, I know most here are of a totally different mindset which is fine by me. Each to their own.

Anyways not dragging this thread OT anymore. Just wanted to point out that for many women the value of the ring is an important part of the engagement. I’ve had similar discussions with friends and work colleagues, some of whom have travelled abroad for a rock.

rizzee · 11-11-2020 12:23AM

I'm probably against the majority here and not going for a token ring.

I'm going to "borrow" one of her rings while she is away for sizing, and then pick one that I think she would like. Be it a couple of hundred to a couple of K, it doesn't matter. I know she would like it because I chose it for her.. Just my opinion.

Best of luck!

gypsy79 · 11-11-2020 12:30AM

Luca G wrote: »

I think a token ring is the way to go as I am looking at spending around 5k but I think it would be good idea if she goes and looks at rings aswell as I would be stuck with a 5k ring then. As long as she happy I'm happy.

Only thing putting me off a token ring is they wouldn't put a surprise on your face when you propose compared to a big shiny diamond .

I think its definitely worth insurance what would th eff insurance be on a 5k ring do you get it from the same place you buy the ring ?

PM me if you wish

I got my wifes built. He gave her a replica to wear for a few week to make sure of size etc

He also asked me for budget and he came in well under too. Very good experience

Brandon75 · 11-11-2020 02:39AM

Is it worth getting something for around 1k if you can and use that to propose instead of a token ring.

Then she can pick one after of what she likes.
this way you can still have a better ring then a token one.
Instead of paying a couple of grand for one you hope she will like.

Not like you can walk back in and hand the ring back to them after spending 5k for it .

Brandon75 · 11-11-2020 02:45AM

Any recommendations of which jewellers to look at
Trying to narrow it down as there is alot of them.

Mellor · 11-11-2020 02:58AM

Sour Lemonz wrote: »

That line is such a crock of bull its unreal, not every woman cares about the cost value of a ring. To most women the personal value of what the ring represents has more meaning.

While its wronf to day everyone cares about the value or believes there is a set expectation on the piece.
It's equally wrong to suggest nobody cares. The fact is some people very much care and would think of less than you are supposed to pay as an insult.

Similar to the token ring idea. Some people would prefer it, others would hate the "lazy" option. It all comes down to knowing your partner and people on a forum can't really answer for you.

Deleted User wrote: »

Luckily, he was allowed to return it and they ended up getting a ring made that his girlfriend designed herself.

"Designed your own ring" is another con that the industry pulls.
Nobody picks a watch face and a strap says they designed a watch.

Teach30 wrote: »

It’s the age old adage love or money, I know which I require in larger amounts!
I have friends of a similar mindset, and the ring was very important part of the deal. Also on not having children, I’d consider keeping the home a part of that deal also. I can’t see my partner cooking/cleaning etc. That’s just us mind, I know most here are of a totally different mindset which is fine by me. Each to their own.

Sounds like you are expecting to be paid a wages for services.
If it makes you happy, no harm I guess. But there's a real risk of failing to meet the job description with that approach.

11-11-2020 03:31AM

Mellor wrote: »

"Designed your own ring" is another con that the industry pulls.
Nobody picks a watch face and a strap says they designed a watch.
.

Well, you're wrong in this case, as the lady in question did design her ring completely from scratch, it was very unusual and set with sapphires in a rub over setting. It didn't look at all like your typical engagement ring, but it was what she wanted.

There are still a few jewellers around who make custom pieces, a friend of mine used to do it until he retired last year. He made a lot of rings to the customer's design, both engagement and wedding bands, all in his own shop. .

Someone mentioned engagement gifts for men above - a formal dress watch is a typical engagement gift for a man, and they can run dear enough.

Mellor · 11-11-2020 04:43AM

Deleted User wrote: »

Well, you're wrong in this case, as the lady in question did design her ring completely from scratch, it was very unusual and set with sapphires in a rub over setting.

Going in and picking the stone/setting/band exactly how you want, no matter how unusual still isn't designing your own ring. There are website that will do the same with a few drop down boxes.
Same with people who design their own dress, or design their own home via a plan book or options wizard aren't suddenly dress designers or architects.

I'm well aware that that some jewellers will still do custom jewellery. In that case, they are a highly specialist craftsperson, designing a ring for a clients brief/spec - reducing their skills to manufacture is a bit dismissive.

gypsy79 · 11-11-2020 12:31PM

Brandon75 wrote: »

Any recommendations of which jewellers to look at
Trying to narrow it down as there is alot of them.

Tony o Connor in Celtic jewelleryrepair.ie built my wife’s

Couldn’t believe how good to experience was. My wife was mesmerised and price was outstandibf

gypsy79 · 11-11-2020 12:34PM

gypsy79 wrote: »

Tony o Connor in Celtic jewelleryrepair.ie built my wife’s

Couldn’t believe how good to experience was. My wife was mesmerised and price was outstandibf

We went in with ideas from shops. He builds a prototype for you. If happy he goes and sources the stones and builds

The wedding ring was then integrated into the engagement ring design

Engagement Ring

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