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How much for a wedding gift?

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  • 26-10-2020 5:44pm
    #1
    El_robbo1980
    Registered Users Posts: 113 ✭✭


    Hi all,

    What’s the expected amount for a cash-gift for a wedding these days? Think the last wedding I was at (pre-covid) for a friend we gave €250 as a couple. But attending one soon solo and with a huge chunk of the country on reduced wages/unemployed im just wondering what’s a good amount to give?

    Thanks


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    #2
    Pinoy adventure
    Registered Users Posts: 984 ✭✭✭Pinoy adventure


    With reduced numbers going too the wedding your gift should be higher.€500 -€1000 would be reasonable


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    #3
    LilacNails
    Registered Users Posts: 652 ✭✭✭LilacNails


    Pinoy adventure wrote: »
    With reduced numbers going too the wedding your gift should be higher.€500 -€1000 would be reasonable


    Go away outta that.... 200 is plenty imo


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    #4
    Tzardine
    Registered Users Posts: 3,884 ✭✭✭Tzardine


    Just give what you can afford. Dont give anything that is going to put you in financial difficulty.


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    #5
    El_robbo1980
    Registered Users Posts: 113 ✭✭El_robbo1980


    Pinoy adventure wrote: »
    With reduced numbers going too the wedding your gift should be higher.€500 -€1000 would be reasonable

    I can only assume you’re joking


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    #6
    Alex86Eire
    Registered Users Posts: 330 ✭✭Alex86Eire


    I would have thought €100 if you're going solo would be absolutely perfect.


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    #7
    woodchuck
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 15,409 Mod ✭✭✭✭woodchuck


    If your own circumstances haven't changed, then neither should the amount you give as a gift. When flying solo, 100euro would be around the norm.


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    #8
    micks_address
    Registered Users Posts: 8,468 ✭✭✭micks_address


    People used to say 50 euro to cover the meal and then another 50 on top...


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    #9
    TP_CM
    Registered Users Posts: 443 ✭✭TP_CM


    I thought the rule was 100 solo and 150 for a couple. But it has been 2 years now or so since i have been to a wedding. Maybe it has gone up.


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    #10
    Spanish Eyes
    Registered Users Posts: 15,884 ✭✭✭✭Spanish Eyes


    Sorry now, but many wedding couples must be feeling a bit sick now. What with reduced numbers, multiple postponements and so on it is tough on them. And they can't look forward either as no one knows what's happening or going to happen either going forward.

    100e is grand IMV as a solo anyway, if you get there that is!


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    #11
    Jimson
    Closed Accounts Posts: 164 ✭✭Jimson


    Depends really, if its a relative i barely see id probably just stick 70 in the card.

    Someone I'm Pals with and might get to see once a year probably 100.

    Close friend i see weekly probably 150-200.


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    #12
    Spanish Eyes
    Registered Users Posts: 15,884 ✭✭✭✭Spanish Eyes


    We are typically wedding averse. As are a lot of people even if they don't admit it.

    So apart from immediate family (and those gifts are a secret lol). We normally politely decline and give a gift of 100e each so 200 in total even though we won't be attending.

    It is far better value than having to attend a wedding of those you only know on the edges. Very kind of them to invite us, but since we decline, they can add two more to their list!

    But maybe not now of course. Feel for all of you trying to organise your day. Chin up and hope for the best.


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    #13
    Pinoy adventure
    Registered Users Posts: 984 ✭✭✭Pinoy adventure


    El_robbo1980 wrote: »
    I can only assume you’re joking

    For sum body having there special day which might cost them thousands you think they would be impressed getting €100/200 ?
    It may not even cover there meal for a couple.

    Think more along the lines of new cars/honeymoon or perhaps the wedding parties new home or deposit for there new home rather than a hundred euro


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    #14
    El_robbo1980
    Registered Users Posts: 113 ✭✭El_robbo1980


    Pinoy adventure wrote: »

    Think more along the lines of new cars/honeymoon or perhaps the wedding parties new home or deposit for there new home rather than a hundred euro

    I was thinking more along the lines of people attending weddings that may be on vastly reduced wages/PUP etc for the last 6 months and are struggling to pay for their own cars and houses. Hence my original question of what’s deemed a sensible balance between the current climate and a generous gift. The general consensus of €100 (solo) seems to be about average (unless of course someone is absolutely rolling in it and feeling generous!)


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    #15
    eviltwin
    Registered Users Posts: 17,495 ✭✭✭✭eviltwin


    Pinoy adventure wrote: »
    For sum body having there special day which might cost them thousands you think they would be impressed getting €100/200 ?
    It may not even cover there meal for a couple.

    Think more along the lines of new cars/honeymoon or perhaps the wedding parties new home or deposit for there new home rather than a hundred euro


    It’s not the responsibility of the guests to pay for that. Tbh in current conditions the couple are lucky to have anyone going. They should be thankful for what they get. 100pp is perfectly fine.


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    #16
    screamer
    Registered Users Posts: 6,133 ✭✭✭screamer


    At the moment with the reduction in numbers attending, the cost of the meals will be substantially reduced. Anyone who ever got married will tell you the largest part of the bill is food and drink for a wedding day. 100 per head is about normal, for closer family, I’d go to 150 per person, siblings would get 500 to 1000 from us. That’s just our rules of thumb.


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    #17
    Pinoy adventure
    Registered Users Posts: 984 ✭✭✭Pinoy adventure


    El_robbo1980 wrote: »
    I was thinking more along the lines of people attending weddings that may be on vastly reduced wages/PUP etc for the last 6 months and are struggling to pay for their own cars and houses. Hence my original question of what’s deemed a sensible balance between the current climate and a generous gift. The general consensus of €100 (solo) seems to be about average (unless of course someone is absolutely rolling in it and feeling generous!)

    Could you not ask them if the have a wedding list and perhaps buy something from that ?
    Instead of putting the price of a few drinks in a card.


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    #18
    zoe 3619
    Registered Users Posts: 624 ✭✭✭zoe 3619


    Pinoy adventure wrote: »
    With reduced numbers going too the wedding your gift should be higher.€500 -€1000 would be reasonable

    Bizarre comment.
    That would be 2 weeks to a months income for me at the moment.
    I'd see no reason to contribute to their honeymoon or to pay for wedding cars,flowers or the cake if they have chosen to go outside of their budget.
    I'd give 50 to cover the meal (skint at the moment) and a thoughtful,but not expensive gift.
    Haven't done too many weddings and it seems there is a cash etiquette that I don't understand.


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    #19
    lawrencesummers
    Registered Users Posts: 8,481 ✭✭✭lawrencesummers


    Personally I would try and figure out what it’s costing the couple to have each guest there and make sure I’m at least covering that and then a bit more.

    If it’s a cheap hotel 3 course meal no band no drink reception then it might be costing 50-70 per person.
    If you get a free bar and a nice hotel Decent meal it could be costing the couple over 100 a head for the day.


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    #20
    Smee_Again
    Registered Users Posts: 2,019 ✭✭✭Smee_Again


    TP_CM wrote: »
    I thought the rule was 100 solo and 150 for a couple. But it has been 2 years now or so since i have been to a wedding. Maybe it has gone up.

    This was my rule but it seems to have increased since I was last at a wedding that wasn’t a sibling/very close friend.


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    #21
    XxMCRxBabyxX
    Moderators, Education Moderators Posts: 7,439 Mod ✭✭✭✭XxMCRxBabyxX


    screamer wrote: »
    At the moment with the reduction in numbers attending, the cost of the meals will be substantially reduced.

    This isn't necessarily true at the moment. It seems that a number of venues are still charging for minimum numbers etc even though it's not possible to have those numbers.


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    #22
    1hnr79jr65
    Registered Users Posts: 916 ✭✭✭1hnr79jr65


    How me and wife follow it in terms of gifts

    someone we barely know, politely turn down attendance but gift €50 in card
    people we know/extended family €100 in card, maybe attend depending on circumstances
    close friends/family €250-500 depending how close we are plus definitely attend wedding

    However with covid we would gift the above as same without any attendance due to personal health.


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    #23
    lazygal
    Registered Users Posts: 12,644 ✭✭✭✭lazygal


    Sour Lemonz wrote: »
    How me and wife follow it in terms of gifts

    someone we barely know, politely turn down attendance but gift €50 in card
    people we know/extended family €100 in card, maybe attend depending on circumstances
    close friends/family €250-500 depending how close we are plus definitely attend wedding

    However with covid we would gift the above as same without any attendance due to personal health.
    Similar here. We give the gift for the celebration of the wedding, not to cover the cost of the party. Why would you give someone more because they had a more expensive wedding?!
    And right now with Covid we'd do the same, despite the fact that we would not attend even the weddings of very close family/friends due to numbers etc.


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    #24
    lawrencesummers
    Registered Users Posts: 8,481 ✭✭✭lawrencesummers


    lazygal wrote: »
    Similar here. We give the gift for the celebration of the wedding, not to cover the cost of the party. Why would you give someone more because they had a more expensive wedding?!
    And right now with Covid we'd do the same, despite the fact that we would not attend even the weddings of very close family/friends due to numbers etc.

    Because I don’t think at a minimum that they should be out of pocket for my attendance, but that’s within reason, I have been to a friends wedding that I know cost close to 150k and with 120 guests that’s over 1250 per head and he sure didn’t get that from me.


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    #25
    ax530
    Registered Users Posts: 459 ✭✭ax530


    I know someone locally who got married recently, wouldnt have been expecting an invite to wedding if was 'normal' times. She would have loved the big full weddign but with restrictions had to keep it very small. Sent them a card with €50
    If attending a wedding as a couple we usually give 200e maybe at times 150 if cash was tighter.


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    #26
    lazygal
    Registered Users Posts: 12,644 ✭✭✭✭lazygal


    lawrencesummers wrote: »
    Because I don’t think at a minimum that they should be out of pocket for my attendance, but that’s within reason, I have been to a friends wedding that I know cost close to 150k and with 120 guests that’s over 1250 per head and he sure didn’t get that from me.
    But its their choice to have a wedding. That's their business.

    I don't expect anyone who comes to any celebration we organise to pay their own way.


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    #27
    GingerLily
    Registered Users Posts: 4,767 ✭✭✭GingerLily


    lawrencesummers wrote: »
    Personally I would try and figure out what it’s costing the couple to have each guest there and make sure I’m at least covering that and then a bit more.

    If it’s a cheap hotel 3 course meal no band no drink reception then it might be costing 50-70 per person.
    If you get a free bar and a nice hotel Decent meal it could be costing the couple over 100 a head for the day.

    I never do this, most of the couples that I know who have a cheaper wedding have paid for it all themselves, stretched themselves financially and need the gift, where as the fancy weddings are paid for my the parents or they're very well off.
    It's fairer to just give a gift based on your relationship with the bride and groom IMO.


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    #28
    1hnr79jr65
    Registered Users Posts: 916 ✭✭✭1hnr79jr65


    lazygal wrote: »
    But its their choice to have a wedding. That's their business.

    I don't expect anyone who comes to any celebration we organise to pay their own way.


    100% agree with this, for our wedding most had to travel and pay for hotels for the night, some did 2 nights. I got some deals from hotels in area for our guests to make the costs easier on all. Our wedding itself wasn't overly expensive, I made every euro count so there was little to no waste, all in we had amazing day for how little we spent.

    But no way expected our guests to have to fork out for our day, all the gifts we did get we were very grateful for.


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    #29
    rainbowtrout
    Registered Users Posts: 15,381 ✭✭✭✭rainbowtrout


    lawrencesummers wrote: »
    Because I don’t think at a minimum that they should be out of pocket for my attendance, but that’s within reason, I have been to a friends wedding that I know cost close to 150k and with 120 guests that’s over 1250 per head and he sure didn’t get that from me.

    But if one of my friends decides to have their wedding in the local 3 star hotel and another friend decides to drive 60 miles down the country to have it in a 5 star hotel with all the bells and whistles, I don't see how I should have to pay more as a gift for the second wedding?

    My brother is getting married next year and is spending beyond his means on it. I don't see why his guests should have to foot that bill.


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    #30
    Pinoy adventure
    Registered Users Posts: 984 ✭✭✭Pinoy adventure


    rainbowtrout wrote: »
    But if one of my friends decides to have their wedding in the local 3 star hotel and another friend decides to drive 60 miles down the country to have it in a 5 star hotel with all the bells and whistles, I don't see how I should have to pay more as a gift for the second wedding?

    My brother is getting married next year and is spending beyond his means on it. I don't see why his guests should have to foot that bill.

    You could help him,by giving a nice cash gift.


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    #31
    rainbowtrout
    Registered Users Posts: 15,381 ✭✭✭✭rainbowtrout


    Pinoy adventure wrote: »
    You could help him,by giving a nice cash gift.

    Not my job to fund a lifestyle he can't afford.


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