How much for a wedding gift?

jlm29

Teach30 wrote: »

Oh I though you meant people who didn’t attend the wedding didn’t give a card.

That’s v different, if I’m Invited to a wedding I’d obv give cash in a card however for babies, engagement and the like I’m hopeless at card giving. The way I look at that is if you start it once for say birthdays and babies you’ve to keep doing it.

Also if I didn’t get invited to a wedding I’d just send a text. Some place more value on the card, I’ve no mass in them, plus hate having to come with something “meaningful” to write in a card!

I did mean that people didn’t attend the wedding and didn’t send a card. But nobody attended, we just had 2 witnesses. I would have just thought that some people close to us might have stuck a card in the post to wish us well, that’s all. And I’m genuinely not talking about presents, I wouldn’t have expected them at all.

I think it’s interesting (and very evident from this thread) that a wedding gift/card seems to be viewed purely as an entrance fee to many people, rather than an actual gift, given to wish someone well.

Teach30

jlm29 wrote: »

I did mean that people didn’t attend the wedding and didn’t send a card. But nobody attended, we just had 2 witnesses. I would have just thought that some people close to us might have stuck a card in the post to wish us well, that’s all. And I’m genuinely not talking about presents, I wouldn’t have expected them at all.

I think it’s interesting (and very evident from this thread) that a wedding gift/card seems to be viewed purely as an entrance fee to many people, rather than an actual gift, given to wish someone well.

Yea the cash is to cover your plate, well amongst my group of friends and family it is. I would much prefer physical gifts over cash but purely because we aren’t living together and items for a new home would be great! I suppose they days of a gift register are gone because people live together/out of home before marriage and don’t need anything.

I’ve never even thought of people using the cash gifts for themselves tbh I assumed everyone used it to pay for the day. I suppose that’s why numbers of 250-350 are common, ask enough people to pay for it and anything left over is a bonus.

Pinoy adventure

Teach30 wrote: »

Yea the cash is to cover your plate, well amongst my group of friends and family it is. I would much prefer physical gifts over cash but purely because we aren’t living together and items for a new home would be great! I suppose they days of a gift register are gone because people live together/out of home before marriage and don’t need anything.

I’ve never even thought of people using the cash gifts for themselves tbh I assumed everyone used it to pay for the day. I suppose that’s why numbers of 250-350 are common, ask enough people to pay for it and anything left over is a bonus.

Never mind Items for a new home.
A new home would make an ideal gift right ?

Toots

Pinoy Adventure, that's enough.

Do not post in this thread again.

Meauldsegosha

Teach30 wrote: »

Anyone I know who had gotten married has used the cash received to pay for wedding, down to counting the opening the cards the morning after and using the cash to pay...

I couldn’t imagine anything worse than sitting in bed the morning after my wedding counting money hoping we had enough money to pay for the day. We got married last year and the next morning we had a relaxing breakfast chatting with our friends and family.

road_high

One of the very few positives of Covid has been the big reduction in a lot of this non sense- I’m hoping it’ll stay close family and friends affairs into the future (seems to be the case in lots of other countries anyhow). And you won’t be invited to your 2nd cousins wedding who you see twice a decade as a norm

Pinoy adventure

Pinoy adventure wrote: »

With reduced numbers going too the wedding your gift should be higher.€500 -€1000 would be reasonable

I bet your on everyone's invite list 😉

eviltwin

jlm29 wrote: »

I did mean that people didn’t attend the wedding and didn’t send a card. But nobody attended, we just had 2 witnesses. I would have just thought that some people close to us might have stuck a card in the post to wish us well, that’s all. And I’m genuinely not talking about presents, I wouldn’t have expected them at all.

I think it’s interesting (and very evident from this thread) that a wedding gift/card seems to be viewed purely as an entrance fee to many people, rather than an actual gift, given to wish someone well.

Seems like some view it as payment for the night out. It’s the only event people seem to think must be paid for in part by the guests. It’s just a fancy party and if a couple choose to put themselves in the position of paying thousands for it that’s their responsibility. Guests are invited, they don’t buy tickets.

kravmaga

El_robbo1980 wrote: »

Hi all,

What’s the expected amount for a cash-gift for a wedding these days? Think the last wedding I was at (pre-covid) for a friend we gave €250 as a couple. But attending one soon solo and with a huge chunk of the country on reduced wages/unemployed im just wondering what’s a good amount to give?

Thanks

If your going solo as you say, I think €100 is enough, considering the current economy, job losses, financial hardship.

Teach30

Meauldsegosha wrote: »

I couldn’t imagine anything worse than sitting in bed the morning after my wedding counting money hoping we had enough money to pay for the day. We got married last year and the next morning we had a relaxing breakfast chatting with our friends and family.

I know I thought it was mad when I heard it myself. The couples would have very good jobs with no cash flow problems but was easier pay out of the cards and get rid of the money so they wouldn’t have to mind it until the bank opened the following Monday. Made sense to be fair!

I’ll actually miss inviting the crowd it’s nice to see the cousins you never see or invite the neighbours and let them have a day/night off. I’m coming at it from a very rural perspective though and I know not everyone likes to be invited to wedding nor would everyone invite their neighbours. For us it’s certainly a way to celebrate friendships and family after the most important part - the ceremony.

I got married abroad so we were conscious of the price for fights and hotels for everyone.

We organised apartments at a discount and the Ryanair flight certainly looked like we had chartered it. We did a BBQ the night before the wedding, wedding was open bar all night and then we provided a dinner the next day that we didn't attend ourselves.

For my part I wasn't looking at the gifts as being used to pay for it but my wife was more finance orientated as it's the way it is in her country. That kinda played out with the guests as generally her side provided bigger gifts but again, they didn't have the same travel and accommodation costs.

The other side is a wedding I went to, not only was it a paid bar abroad but they made a profit on the booze as they bought it in a wholesaler and employed the barman. That was miserable in my opinion

lazygal

Teach30 wrote: »

Yea the cash is to cover your plate, well amongst my group of friends and family it is. I would much prefer physical gifts over cash but purely because we aren’t living together and items for a new home would be great! I suppose they days of a gift register are gone because people live together/out of home before marriage and don’t need anything.

I’ve never even thought of people using the cash gifts for themselves tbh I assumed everyone used it to pay for the day. I suppose that’s why numbers of 250-350 are common, ask enough people to pay for it and anything left over is a bonus.

A bunch of us got married within a few years of each other and not one of us paid for the wedding with gifts. Some had parents pay, or a mix, or paid themselves. And most were 200 guests for fewer.

Pen Rua

We were married in early October, with about 40 guests.

We saved really hard for the previous 18 months, so it wasn't a question of gifts covering the day.

I would guess on average, there was a cash gift of €100 per person. One or two people went way above that, but that was well within their personal means.

Others gave nothing, but that was what was within their means. We didn't care. They took a day of leave from work, travelled to Galway, stayed two nights in the hotel, paid their drinks, ate out the first evening... it all adds up. They came to our wedding, and that was all that mattered. Heck, some of the people who gave no cash wrote some of the most heartwarming & special messages in their cards!

We had two friends give us handmade, framed pictures for our home and that was more special and valuable than any envelope with cash! Very few people gave tangible gifts, which is probably a good thing since otherwise you end up with junk you don't need...! Mrs Pen Rua is from America, and registries are a huge thing. No Irish person used them, but some of her friends from home got stuff for us (household bits we always wanted).

Now that we'll be on the other side of the envelope going forward, we'll probably go with €100 per person as a baseline, and increase for people we are very close to.

tayto lover

You’d get some meal for €100 a head.

I’d give €250 and leave it at that.

Mad_maxx

id be happy to get 100 euro even from a couple