A Thread for those who are in Lockdown completely alone, i.e. Nobody else with you

Living alone, and no pets. I've lived in Dublin for 15 years, but am from another EU country originally.

At first, it was horrible - I felt really depressed and anxious, and had lots of trouble sleeping. Eventually I developed a routine, I'm still working (remotely now) so obviously that helps with having something to do. After work I've started to go for a nice 45 minute walk, which really lifts my spirits. Now I feel like I can continue this indefinitely. Sometimes I feel worse, but no longer overwhelmingly so.

There are a lot of things that worry me, for example, both my parents were admitted to hospital (not Covid-19) this week and obviously there's not much I can do about it, since I wouldn't be able to visit them in the hospital even if I could travel home. But now I just feel since I can't do anything about it, I'll just keep going as "normal".

I'm not very social anyway, so being alone isn't a problem. It can get boring when you can't go "anywhere" other than the supermarket or a walk, but it is what it is. Some people have it worse, some people have it better, but most people are affected somehow.

It's a case of "business as usual" for me. Cats, wife and children all grown up and gone several years now, so when I'm not working away (which is the only form of paid work I do) there's just me and the wildlife to share the days in my rural home. Nearest neighbours died two years ago, but they were only summer visitors anyway ...

It's a bit of a joke in the family at the moment that I'm the only one whose rhythm life hasn't changed at all. That's not entirely true, as I'd usually drop in on a couple of friends in the area when I get back from my stints away, but I was working in Alsace until the end of March, and the friends would all fall into the "at risk" category so I decided not to call over, just in case I'd brought anything back with me.

But since the 4th April, and excluding one shopping trip, I've seen (spoken to) a grand total of one person in real life .. and haven't felt the time pass at all! Up in the morning, out into the garden, digging, planting, mowing, weeding, watering, building, demolishing, moving, tidying, walk round in circles looking at a problem thinking about how (and when) to solve it.

I'll grab a bit of lunch sometime between 1pm and 6pm; then come in to make/eat dinner around 9. Usually make enough for three meals so that I don't have to do the complete works every night, and will take advantage of less pleasant weather - or being forced to stay close to the front door waiting for a delivery - to think about/prepare recipes for later use.

The family are where they always have been - at the other end of a WhatsApp chat. I've spent a fair bit of this week helping SonNo.2 with a final-year uni assignment; been chatting with DtrNo.2 about lambing, caesarians and why humans take so long to walk; been talking to the siblings about cancelled holidays, and to my mother about our respective gardening projects ...

So all-in-all, "just another year" to misquote Johnny Logan. Now, I think those fifteen drops were all the rain we're going to get today, so time to attack today's project: make two planters for the courtyard.

Deleted User wrote: »

Have existing health issues that have become active during this though. So that's most difficult aspect. Would be nice if I had a garden but I'm in a suburb at least that's pretty nice.

Hope you and your health issues improve soon. Im sure its scary and difficult having them flare up right. Virtual hug!

An older poster who was a very frequent contributor, Graces07, hasn't poster in a month now, I think she lives alone...so that's worrying. Her last post was this;

https://www.boards.ie/ttfpost/112829446

CelticRambler wrote: »

... planting, mowing, weeding, watering, building, demolishing, moving, tidying, walk round in circles ...

Thanks for the laugh, this is one of my new hobbies it seems, but of a more aimless variety!
I live alone and I'm well used to it so it's business as usual for me. I've a lot of interests, gardening, sewing, drawing, painting, reading, and a few nixers, so I feel lucky in that regard. Lovely neighbours so I have a chat often, family are far away so we video chat. I feel concerned and sad at times about it all, and a fair bit of optimism at what the good outcome will be, because there surely will be some good.
Nice thread!

Badly Drunk Boy wrote: »

I know that there are more productive things I could be doing around the house and garden, but I manage to make excuses to myself. I think it would be different if going to work wasn't in the mix since that means that there's more preparation for going out, and then winding down when I get back (or even just cooling down from the cycle home). I know I'm going to regret the lack of productivity when things start to get more normal.

That's something I can identify with, but I've learnt not to regret the "wasted" time. Instead, I've adjusted my ambitions for what I can get reasonably get done, knowing that there'll be a day or two lost to re-adjustment when I get home after a contract (usually have a 600km "commute" to recover from).

That's where the walking round in circles comes in! Part de-stressing, part planning. Depending on the weather, the time available and what equipment/materials I've got to hand, I try to only get started on a project that I know I can finish, or the self-contained stage of a longer project that needs to be left alone, e.g. a slab of concrete that needs to cure, or a tray of seeds that need to germinate.

I find that being able to draw a line under something like that makes it easier to enjoy the post-work recovery phase, even if (to an outsider) I've done "nothing" for two days.

But also, I've learnt to not worry about "walking off the job" if my heart's not in it, even if it was one of the big things on my To Do list. There were so many times I messed up what I was doing by battling on, just to get it finished, and ended up wasting even more hours/days because of that.

mike_ie wrote: »

The restriction on being able to physically do things is more difficult - I like to get out and about and usually cycle or box or do something on a daily basis, and that's probably what I miss most.

Yeah, that's the one thing I am missing at the moment. After a lot of physical work during the day/week, my physiotherapy of choice is dancing and that's obviously a definite no-no for the foreseeable future. I can lep around the kitchen on my own, but it's just not the same as swinging a partner 'round the dancefloor ...



Now I've a load of timber to cut and plane; where's this fekkin deliveryman? :mad:

I am in the opposite position myself at the moment.

I usually live alone but I've been living elsewhere for just over a month and I'm hoping that I'll be able to get home or at least move more freely between locations soon.

From a purely practical level I'm concerned about the security of my place and my stuff (although I can still remote into my plex server so it's all OK at the moment), but it's been a while and quite an adjustment going from living alone to sharing a place with no real "me time" at all. I've lived with people before without any problems but I would say there's a lot of people struggling without the usual outlets of work/school/friends to get them away from each other too.

In normal circumstances though I would have no issue working from home, watching telly or gaming with the lads, doing the bit of running around etc on my own.

FloatingVoter wrote: »

Same here. Completely isolated. Back to drinking heavily. I take s lot of naps and crash out on the armchair. Running out of relatives to ring (try toggling the two I can over a week :rolleyes:).
I have discovered that when in a crisis you discover who your friends are. Sum total here is zero.
I neither like nor care for humans anymore. Faking it is a ****ing misery.


Thanks for the thread, though.

agree no point in faking it.
keep yourself well. maybe look at the friend lost thing as making room for new ones the other side of this virus thingy.
goodluck and if feeling crap post here or on the mental health covid thread. Dont let the virus win by getting you to drink yourself silly.

FloatingVoter wrote: »

Back to drinking heavily. I take s lot of naps and crash out on the armchair. Running out of relatives to ring

It's easier to say than to do, but see if you can come up with something that you can learn that doesn't need a huge team behind you. It doesn't have to be anything that'll change the face of humanity or fast-track your next promotion, just something that'll give you a sense of achievement, step-by-step. Play the tin whistle, or speak Italian, or cook potatoes in a new way, or build a lego robot ... and log onto a website (or the relevant subforum of boards.ie) where you can start interacting with new people.

Arguing in the street is more fun than online too

I missed this thread the first time - Mike, thank you for creating it.

I also live on my own. For me it has been very difficult, as it meant a complete change in my lifestyle.
I didn't have a commute to go to work (a 10 minute walk) and I was part of a big office, with more than 150 people. Although I am part of a global team and report to a manager in US, I was involved in the social aspect of the office, even if it was a chit chat with the people around me or going together for our lunch or coffee break. At the moment my employer targets a reopening of the office middle October, but at a very limited capacity - only if you really have to or maybe 1 day a week. I don't expect to be the first one back as I don't work directly with anyone in the office and can continue working from home efficiently. I have mixed feelings about (not) going back to the office. On the one hand I miss the social aspect - on the other hand chances are I would have to wear a mask if I'd go - I am not a big fan of them and I'm not sure I would be able to wear in for prolonged periods of time - I have tested my limits to being around 2 hours - after that I start getting a headache and gastric acid.

I also lost all my social outlets. I go very frequently to the cinema and theatre and attend on average 2 music concerts a month - all of them gone. Cinema being back now was very welcoming, and I have already gone twice.
I also play table tennis - at the moment though the club is closed as the owner/coach (who's also my best friend) is trying to figure out the best business model for the new circumstances.

For me the hardest was the 2k/5k/20k restrictions. It meant I couldn't see and talk to anyone. Some days were really hard - loneliness really kicking in. It was a good thing that work kept me busy and I made sure to go out for 1-2 walks in my estate and get fresh air. Like everyone else I used technology to interact with my friends, mainly video calls - it was a decent substitute but for me nothing can beat the human/personal interaction. I have to say boards really helped during the lockdown: I got very active in the Forum Games where there are so many great competitions happening.

Since the travel restrictions were lifted things got better. I was able to go to Dublin and meet with my friends. We took advantage of the good weather and visited parks and enjoyed the sunshine - and also visited a few restaurants for dinner and a couple of drinks.

I think winter with the long nights will be a bit tougher. I have planned to go and visit my family in Greece later this month during my holidays. I haven't seen them since last Christmas - and I have in the back of my head that some restrictions might return and I might not be able to visit for Christmas - hopefully though everything will go well. They are both over 70 so I will devise a plan on how to safely interact with them and not put them in any risk.

I wish for all of you to be well and safe - and enjoy your life as best as you can

I’m finding it very difficult I have to say. I became single in January but was never lonely initially as I was in work/at dinner/having drinks/ going for walks with other people all the time. I don’t have any friends living nearby and I have been working from home since March. So sympathise with everyone in the same boat!

DaSilva wrote: »

Same boat here, finding it very frustrating. Living alone and working from home. This year has basically felt like one long working week and its all a blur since nothing in my personal life has happened, a lost year.

Yeah I know exactly what you mean here. I’ve gotten to the point where even talking to friends online/messaging has become a bit of an effort now as there is just nothing to talk about. We are all living the most mundane lives now.