Should I report naughty friend

Jim2007 · 14-10-2020 02:10AM

Piehead wrote: »

A co-worker who is a buddy of mine has admitted to fapping off to the pictures on zoom calls of female attendees when they are talking. Not everyone has their camera on so he can’t been seen as his is off (he claims it’s broken). Nevertheless its seems somewhat deviant behaviour and must be against some work policy. Should I report to HR? May be just my word against him though?

Well if he is on the boards I expect he’s got the message by now....

Millionaire only not · 14-10-2020 05:30AM

Piehead wrote: »

Nah don’t have proof. Was talking to him on a call and I mentioned how boring the meetings and getting and then he said something along the lines of “well this is what I did to spice it up”

Maybe he likes u . that’s why he told u , so ye could have little play time together- lol
U would really want to keep the image in your head your friend is enjoying himself while talking to u - lol

sbsquarepants · 14-10-2020 07:23AM

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

.

This all hinges on whether the OP highlights this perv’s “behaviour” to HR. It will remain a, somewhat, victimless crime until word gets out. Until then he’s free to continue jerkin’ the gherkin over these, unsuspecting, working professionals.

Weird that he told the OP, sounds like he might want to get caught.

Keep shtum Piehead!

Piehead rocks into HR with the earth shattering news that Mr X has been pulling him self around the room while Natalie Huge-Knockers from accounts is discussing the recent sales slump. Mr X (if he exists) gets called in and simply says "I have no idea what he's talking about, he's always been a bit weird about her to be honest"

What then? What becomes of the brave and noble piehead. Look at Assange, Snowden, Manning.

No one likes a snitch Piehead. You're put on the suspected sex offenders register, Natalie will never speak to you again and you've provided Mr X the perfect opportunity to polish all his armour (instead of just his helmet) and then rock up to her and apologise for your weirdness. Tell her he never liked the look of you and how he's regularly had to defend her honour from the freaky things you told him you'd love to do to her.

6 months on and you've been ostracised, blacklisted in your industry, you're drinking to much, behind on your bills, your personal hygiene is gone to shít - all while Mr X is banging Natalie harder than Tommy Lee's drum kit.

**** gonna **** Piehead, ain't no point in fighting it.

OMM 0000 · 14-10-2020 07:27AM

Piehead wrote: »

A co-worker who is a buddy of mine has admitted to fapping off to the pictures on zoom calls of female attendees when they are talking. Not everyone has their camera on so he can’t been seen as his is off (he claims it’s broken). Nevertheless its seems somewhat deviant behaviour and must be against some work policy. Should I report to HR? May be just my word against him though?

Let's think this through.

You go tell HR.

HR call him into the office.

He raises his eyebrows and says WTF that's insane, I can't believe he said that, I know he has an issue with me but that is just crazy.

HR cannot make a decision, but there's at least a 50% chance they think you are dangerous and crazy and your career is forever damaged.

So, say nothing except tell the guy to cop on and ask him how would he feel if someone was doing that to his mother or sister.

14-10-2020 07:33AM

Piehead wrote: »

Nah don’t have proof. Was talking to him on a call and I mentioned how boring the meetings and getting and then he said something along the lines of “well this is what I did to spice it up”

Good chance he was joking. Or maybe not but if not he must be really thick to tell anyone, or maybe he's testing you. Either way you can tell HR what he told you if you want, and if they say anything he will know who the snitch is. Is he a "key player" or just some guy?

Surreptitious · 14-10-2020 07:42AM

OMM 0000 wrote: »

Let's think this through.

You go tell HR.

HR call him into the office.

He raises his eyebrows and says WTF that's insane, I can't believe he said that, I know he has an issue with me but that is just crazy.

HR cannot make a decision, but there's at least a 50% chance they think you are dangerous and crazy and your career is forever damaged.

So, say nothing except tell the guy to cop on and ask him how would he feel if someone was doing that to his mother or sister.

He's probably going to get off on that or be at it himself.

Piehead · 14-10-2020 07:45AM

OMM 0000 wrote: »

Let's think this through.

You go tell HR.

HR call him into the office.

He raises his eyebrows and says WTF that's insane, I can't believe he said that, I know he has an issue with me but that is just crazy.

HR cannot make a decision, but there's at least a 50% chance they think you are dangerous and crazy and your career is forever damaged.

So, say nothing except tell the guy to cop on and ask him how would he feel if someone was doing that to his mother or sister.

Maybe I should get him to say it again and record him.

OMM 0000 · 14-10-2020 07:47AM

Piehead wrote: »

Maybe I should get him to say it again and record him.

I wouldn't.

By recording him you're getting involved in his crap. You do not want to be associated with this. People are weird and they may start associating you with zoom ****, even though you're innocent.

Tell him to stop and move on.

14-10-2020 07:52AM

Piehead wrote: »

Maybe I should get him to say it again and record him.

Do you think it is wise to ask someone that? If he says no, it’s a pretty creepy question.

chrissb8 · 14-10-2020 09:02AM

Piehead wrote: »

Maybe I should get him to say it again and record him.

That's illegal and can't be done without the permission of a court if you are doing it to someone unwillingly, so don't do that.

14-10-2020 09:16AM

chrissb8 wrote: »

That's illegal and can't be done without the permission of a court if you are doing it to someone unwillingly, so don't do that.

That is not the case. In Ireland, permission to record a conversation between two parties can be given by one party only. Put simply, as long as you are one of the people in the conversation, you can record it without the permission of the other person.

bertiebomber · 14-10-2020 10:17AM

NO mind you own business if he takes those risks and they make him happy why must you spoil it ? you are the enslaved one afraid to do anything except tell on people. You are a perfect employee doing everything you are told. Employers have exploited us all for years now we can get a few laughs on them chill out you silly sod.

Sardonicat · 14-10-2020 11:26AM

bertiebomber wrote: »

NO mind you own business if he takes those risks and they make him happy why must you spoil it ? you are the enslaved one afraid to do anything except tell on people. You are a perfect employee doing everything you are told. Employers have exploited us all for years now we can get a few laughs on them chill out you silly sod.

How is he getting a laugh on his employer?

bertiebomber · 14-10-2020 11:30AM

getting paid while at the cinema !! not actually working all great - attempting to not be enslaved like his pal .

Sardonicat · 14-10-2020 11:38AM

bertiebomber wrote: »

getting paid while at the cinema !! not actually working all great - attempting to not be enslaved like his pal .

He's not at the cinema though. He's **** over a work colleague while she's working. She's actually a real person. I wonder is it a Pavlovian response? Female on screen = fap, fap, fap. ...

14-10-2020 12:24PM

Sardonicat wrote: »

He's not at the cinema though. He's **** over a work colleague while she's working. She's actually a real person. I wonder is it a Pavlovian response? Female on screen = fap, fap, fap. ...

You are taking this too seriously.

sbsquarepants · 14-10-2020 12:32PM

Sardonicat wrote: »

He's not at the cinema though. He's **** over a work colleague while she's working. She's actually a real person. I wonder is it a Pavlovian response? Female on screen = fap, fap, fap. ...

I can only speak personally, but anyone i have ever wanked over was a real person (Well Jessica Rabbit excluded, but everyone fancies her:D) I'm going to come right out with and say i bet that's probably true of you too.

As a species we do tend to be attracted to other real life living people.... sometimes with masturbatory results.

It's not something i'd do myself, but i'm just just not getting the outrage i'm afraid.

Sardonicat · 14-10-2020 01:08PM

sbsquarepants wrote: »

It's not something i'd do myself, but i'm just just not getting the outrage i'm afraid.

So you have never actually done what the alleged protoganist has done. And neither have I. And obviously my above comment was serious. I genuinely believe no man can resist tugging himself if he see a female on a screen. I'm about as serious as the story in the OP.

EmmetSpiceland · 14-10-2020 01:14PM

Dav010 wrote: »

You are taking this too seriously.

I’m not sure you’re taking this seriously enough, D. This guy is a sex pest and while his crime may well be “victimless” that does not mean it’s any less depraved, or shocking.

I guess it’s just different for guys. We’d have no problem with Sarah, the consultant, “jilling” to our, live, image.

Hell, even big Oonagh from compliance would get a pass but reverse the roles and there’s a difference. Especially when the “tugger” is a greasy creep. It’s just disgusting.

14-10-2020 01:26PM

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

I’m not sure you’re taking this seriously enough, D. This guy is a sex pest and while his crime may well be “victimless” that does not mean it’s any less depraved, or shocking.

I guess it’s just different for guys. We’d have no problem with Sarah, the consultant, “jilling” to our, live, image.

Hell, even big Oonagh from compliance would get a pass but reverse the roles and there’s a difference. Especially when the “tugger” is a greasy creep. It’s just disgusting.

The guy was in his own home.

EmmetSpiceland · 14-10-2020 01:28PM

Dav010 wrote: »

The guy was in his own home.

But in a “work capacity”. I mean, even if he was on the phone to these ladies it would still be skeevy behaviour.

14-10-2020 01:36PM

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

But in a “work capacity”. I mean, even if he was on the phone to these ladies it would still be skeevy behaviour.

Seriously? Did you see Ming sitting at a table in his boxers while being interviewed? The fact is the op’s friend was in his own home, if he wants to walk around in the buff from the waist down with his hand on his tackle, so be it, we are allowed do that in our own homes, we are not allowed to do it in public.

Sleazy, no doubt, but who knows what people get up to in the privacy of their homes, and I include you in that.

EmmetSpiceland · 14-10-2020 01:45PM

Dav010 wrote: »

Seriously? Did you see Ming sitting at a table in his boxers while being interviewed? The fact is the op’s friend was in his own home, if he wants to walk around in the buff from the waist down with his hand on his tackle, so be it, we are allowed do that in our own homes, we are not allowed to do it in public.

Sleazy, no doubt, but who knows what people get up to in the privacy of their homes, and I include you in that.

I did. And I saw his, alleged, Tweet from the other week. No one was “impressed” with that.

As I’ve stated previously, this whole thing only becomes an “issue” for the women in the OP’s work is if he brings the deviant to the attention of HR.

Whatever I get up to in my own home is my business, but when I’m working from home there is certain level of “professionalism” expected. Even if I’m in my underwear and a shirt, it should be expected that I don’t fondle myself while in conversation with my colleagues. At the very least.

Gruffalux · 14-10-2020 01:55PM

Dav010 wrote: »

The fact is the op’s friend was in his own home, if he wants to walk around in the buff from the waist down with his hand on his tackle, so be it, we are allowed do that in our own homes, we are not allowed to do it in public.

.

During work hours he would be dismissed if he was found to be drinking at home, taking drugs, going for walks with the dog during work hours, and so on. I seriously doubt **** is permitted on the company dime, and especially over unsuspecting colleagues on screen in a work meeting.

14-10-2020 02:10PM

Gruffalux wrote: »

During work hours he would be dismissed if he was found to be drinking at home, taking drugs, going for walks with the dog during work hours, and so on. I seriously doubt **** is permitted on the company dime, and especially over unsuspecting colleagues on screen in a work meeting.

Maybe a new employee handbook is needed where the employer dictates what you can do in your own home.

AndrewJRenko · 14-10-2020 02:23PM

Dav010 wrote: »

Maybe a new employee handbook is needed where the employer dictates what you can do in your own home.

Which would open up an absolute can of worms of legal, data protection, safety and IR issues for an employer.

Gruffalux · 14-10-2020 02:43PM

Dav010 wrote: »

Maybe a new employee handbook is needed where the employer dictates what you can do in your own home.

During working hours one is contracted to work.

bertiebomber · 14-10-2020 02:46PM

who cares if he **** over the work colleagues hed be fired if he did it in the office i think its funny and if the women knew they 'd be bonkers and huffing and puffing sexism ha ha.. You should get a life mate leave your buddy alone to play with his tool as he sees fit. Maybe you should release a bit of steam too !!

sbsquarepants · 14-10-2020 03:32PM

Sardonicat wrote: »

I genuinely believe no man can resist tugging himself if he see a female on a screen.

Or even if we don't:D

14-10-2020 03:56PM

Gruffalux wrote: »

During working hours one is contracted to work.

Most people can walk and chew bubblegum at the same time.

Should I report naughty friend

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