Should I report naughty friend

Piehead

A co-worker who is a buddy of mine has admitted to fapping off to the pictures on zoom calls of female attendees when they are talking. Not everyone has their camera on so he can’t been seen as his is off (he claims it’s broken). Nevertheless its seems somewhat deviant behaviour and must be against some work policy. Should I report to HR? May be just my word against him though?

bobbysands81

Piehead wrote: »

A co-worker who is a buddy of mine has admitted to fapping off to the pictures on zoom calls of female attendees when they are talking. Not everyone has their camera on so he can’t been seen as his is off (he claims it’s broken). Nevertheless its seems somewhat deviant behaviour and must be against some work policy. Should I report to HR? May be just my word against him though?

How do you prove it happened?

Is it just your word against his?

Gruffalux

Perfect place for this joke! Someone replied to this tweet with "Worst Zoom call ever."
Maybe you could use this for aversion therapy on your libidinous pal?

https://twitter.com/GSpellchecker/status/1314838273517330432?s=19

Pauliedragon

Piehead wrote: »

A co-worker who is a buddy of mine has admitted to fapping off to the pictures on zoom calls of female attendees when they are talking. Not everyone has their camera on so he can’t been seen as his is off (he claims it’s broken). Nevertheless its seems somewhat deviant behaviour and must be against some work policy. Should I report to HR? May be just my word against him though?

I would just stay out of it. Whilst bizarre behaviour it's not crime of the century and what are HR going to do anyway. Tell your buddy there's a heap of free porn out there he can avail of without the guilt of pulling his timber to some young wan he gets his jellies off bending over the desk or shelf. There's loads of escorts around if he's that horney.

screamer

Next zoom call message him and tell him you can see him on screen that his camera must be glitchy or something. It’s very risky and frankly disgusting behaviour TBH. If the camera does turn on, and zoom can be glitchy, he’ll be in right trouble.

Gregor Samsa

Get everyone to wear masks of his mother. It’ll either put a stop to it, or reveal bigger issues.

ToxicPaddy

Gregor Samsa wrote: »

Get everyone to wear masks of his mother. It’ll either put a stop to it, or reveal bigger issues.

Wanderer2010

Absolutely none of your business. Stay out of it and do your own work.

MadDog76

It's a w@nk, no harm done ........ what's the world coming to, everything has to be an issue these days!

alchemist33

As long as its legal, I don't think it's anyone's business what someone masturbates to. When they do it might be a different matter.

bobbysands81

MadDog76 wrote: »

It's a w@nk, no harm done ........ what's the world coming to, everything has to be an issue these days!

Having a **** during work to pictures of girls that are talking at that time is not what many would deem normal behaviour.

Wanderer2010

Mr.S wrote: »

Ahh yes let's just ignore blatant sexual misconduct in the workplace.

The guy is a creep and if OP's post is genuine, should be told to management. It's weird as ****.

But it doesnt affect his work either way. Of course its weird but who wants to go down the road of dragging the case to HR with not a shred of proof beyond one word versus another? Its a waste of time and i guarantee you the OP will come out looking worse, as if this was just a joke or set up between the two. Plus tongues are loose and word will spread, who knows what version would reach other ears.
A big pile of hassle for no reason.

jam_mac_jam

I wouldn't see any point in reporting it. It's his word against yours. Even if it is creepy.

Hilarious that people are justifying this, men are weird. Sorry that's some men. It's not normal. It's fairly horrible.

Gruffalux

Mostly you would have to feel sorry for him. One, that he has such little self control to not **** during office meetings. Two, that he has such little imagination when it comes to accessing material in spite of having a computer. And three, that he feels the need to tell others about his grubby unseen **** at his office colleagues.. Poor fella.

CivilCybil

I'd say it to HR.
They won't be able to prove anything but if they're aware this is a possibility they might do something to prevent his behaviour like sending him a webcam and insisting all webcams are on at all times.


Behaviour like this isn't harmless. If it was discovered I'd imagine the women involved would feel quite violated at the idea that while in a professional meeting someone was **** off to them. It's degrading.

MadDog76

bobbysands81 wrote: »

Having a **** during work to pictures of girls that are talking at that time is not what many would deem normal behaviour.

Who seems what's "normal behaviour" these days?

The stuff you w@nk to may not appeal to me but, as I said, it's a w@nk and not doing any harm to anybody so I'd concentrate on the bigger issues in life and not worry about yours (or anybody else's) masturbation routine.

Gruffalux

MadDog76 wrote: »

Who seems what's "normal behaviour" these days?

The stuff you w@nk to may not appeal to me but, as I said, it's a w@nk and not doing any harm to anybody so I'd concentrate on the bigger issues in life and not worry about yours (or anybody else's) masturbation routine.

Ah come off it ta fcuk, **** during a work meeting to the girls talking on screen is not normal.

0ph0rce0

I'm **** now just reading everybody's posts. Ohhhh Keep Going

Pauliedragon

Realistically what can HR do?
"There's been an allegation that you were masturbating during work?"
"No I wasn't where's the proof?"
"I heard from someone"
"So rumours are proof now?"
Tell the guy he's done the wrong thing and pull his head in. Both heads.

MadDog76

Gruffalux wrote: »

Ah come off it ta fcuk, **** during a work meeting to the girls talking on screen is not normal.

It's not my normal and, I'd presume, not normal to the vast majority of people but that wasn't really my point ........ my point is that there's no real harm done and, from a practical point of view, there's zero that be done about it without hard evidence so reporting it is futile at best.

Gruffalux

MadDog76 wrote: »

It's not my normal and, I'd presume, not normal to the vast majority of people but that wasn't really my point ........ my point is that there's no real harm done and, from a practical point of view, there's zero that be done about without hard evidence so reporting it futile at best.

Well maybe if he had not told anyone. But if this OP is true (which I am not sure) he has told at least one person. It is therefore possible he has told more than one. Things have a habit of leaking out in such cases. So now we have women working who might get wind that some guy was **** about them while they were talking in zoom meetings. Just yuck. It is degrading as someone else rightly said. If he had kept his maturbation 'routine' to himself then no one would be talking about it, including here. He sounds like a bloody eegit to me.

Wanderer2010

Mr.S wrote: »

So we should't ever report things without 100% concrete proof because it's a waste of time? ehhh. What if there have been previous reports made by other people about the same guy doing weird ****? A note to HR saying this was said and leave it to them to do whatever they need to do.

I'd also tell the females who are on the calls tbh. Even if it doesn't directly affect you, it's still people you work with.

If you saw a guy doing it in secret in public, and you are the only one who noticed, would you still say nothing?

The question the op needs to ask himself is: does this affect ME and MY work in any way shape or form? Based on his post the answer is no. So he should stay out of it and do his own work. There are always weird things going on in a workplace. Its naive to think otherwise. Look after number 1.

El_Duderino 09

Piehead wrote: »

A co-worker who is a buddy of mine has admitted to fapping off to the pictures on zoom calls of female attendees when they are talking. Not everyone has their camera on so he can’t been seen as his is off (he claims it’s broken). Nevertheless its seems somewhat deviant behaviour and must be against some work policy. Should I report to HR? May be just my word against him though?

It's your word against theirs that they SAID they did it. You don't have evidence that they said they did it (unless they told you in email or text) and you have absolutely no evidence they they actually DID it. So you're in an even weaker position than you thought.

Maybe they were joking (if they argue they were joking you'd have absolutely no way to refute it).

So I'd say just leave or so and say nothing.

Sam Quentin

Fake news fake news .. the op is just like that fake news station CNM

MadDog76

Gruffalux wrote: »

Well maybe if he had not told anyone. But if this OP is true (which I am not sure) he has told at least one person. It is therefore possible he has told more than one. Things have a habit of leaking out in such cases. So now we have women working who might get wind that some guy was **** about them while they were talking in zoom meetings. Just yuck. It is degrading as someone else rightly said. If he had kept his maturbation 'routine' to himself then no one would be talking about it, including here. He sounds like a bloody eegit to me.

He is an eejit and if word gets out and, as a result, he's ostracised by his fellow colleagues then he only has himself to blame for his public embarrassment .......... so, at the end of the day, the only harm being done is to himself potentially.

Kaybaykwah

Maybe just take the time to tell the guy directly that this is inappropriate. Leave the management or HR out of it. Just confronting the person and gauging his reaction to see if they are sincerely regretful of doing something offensive to you. This kind of thing can lead to other levela of voyeurism, perhaps.

JohnnyFlash

Luke ‘Ming’ Flanagan behaviour.

MadDog76

Mr.S wrote: »

I would argue that this type of stuff happening towards your own colleagues would / should affect you as it's happening in your workplace.

If a lad I worked with was w@nking to a girl I work with (and they probably do using pictures, videos or just their imagination) then that would have zero impact on me/my work ........ if I was told about it I'd probably laugh and shrug it off at most.

Kaybaykwah

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

Luke ‘Ming’ Flanagan behaviour.

Or Willy Wonka?

corner of hells

Was it you ,OP ? Are you trying to guage our opinions.

ChikiChiki

Creep behavior alright. I would stay out of it and distance myself from that odious individual. He might get the hint.

Very strange deviant behavior.

Trouser Snake

Wouldn't be associating with that friend again either way., creepy carry on.
Very slanderous statement to be making to HR, if its not true you've potentially destroyed a man's career.
Stay out of it, if anything else comes out down the line, maybe reconsider then.

Surreptitious

Sounds like it's a sexual fantasy about getting caught and telling you adds to the thrill. In a way he might hope he's found out. Why else admit it.

That will be 900 euro please,
Regards,
Freud.

Trouser Snake

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

Luke ‘Ming’ Flanagan behaviour.

No mention of any weed or booze in OP, but I'd wager its a more occurring "ritual" than used to be before lockdown.

Gruffalux

MadDog76 wrote: »

If a lad I worked with was w@nking to a girl I work with (and they probably do using pictures, videos or just their imagination) then that would have zero impact on me/my work ........ if I was told about it I'd probably laugh and shrug it off at most.

I work with a lot of men. There is not one of them I could possibly imagine jerking off during a work zoom meeting using the women talking as fodder. Why? Because they are all grand normal people. If I heard about it I would actually think the person was having some kind of a breakdown.

MadDog76

Gruffalux wrote: »

I work with a lot of men. There is not one of them I could possibly imagine jerking off during a work zoom meeting using the women talking as fodder. Why? Because they are all grand normal people. If I heard about it I would actually think the person was having some kind of a breakdown.

That's the most naive statement I've read in a long long time ......... the only thing you know 100% about the people you work with is that you will never ever know everything that goes on in their minds ......... normal people tend to keep their fantasies/fetishes to themselves or, at the very least, they'd keep them from those they feel would judge them for having said fantasies.

Gruffalux

MadDog76 wrote: »

That's the most naive statement I've read in a long long time ......... the only thing you know 100% about the people you work with is that you will never ever know everything that goes on in their minds ......... normal people tend to keep their fantasies/fetishes to themselves or, at the very least, they'd keep them from those they feel would judge them for having said fantasies.

Look come on, we all have fantasies. I am sure some of us feature the odd time in another's masturbation routine, and them in ours. But during an actual real life work meeting? I mean that is letting a grip on the line between fantasy and reality go too loose. In my opinion.

Wanderer2010

Gruffalux wrote: »

I work with a lot of men. There is not one of them I could possibly imagine jerking off during a work zoom meeting using the women talking as fodder. Why? Because they are all grand normal people. If I heard about it I would actually think the person was having some kind of a breakdown.

Wow that is exceptionally naive. You cant see inside anyone and you cant know anybodys thoughts. Your words of "grand" and "normal" are your judgements- what YOU perceive as normal. You work with people who you think as grand and normal just because those people might nod at the right places and say the right things
They could have a completely different set of morals and thoughts inside of them which drive what they do and yes that includes fapping off to Zoom. Do you take everything you see at face value?

If it really happened, and i have my doubts, i find him admitting to it more disturbing than the act.

How do you even inject that into the conversation?

MadDog76

Gruffalux wrote: »

Look come on, we all have fantasies. I am sure some of us feature the odd time in another's masturbation routine, and them in ours. But during an actual real life work meeting? I mean that is letting a grip on the line between fantasy and reality go too loose. In my opinion.

I'd say it was more about opportunity than anything else ......... he was foolish to tell anyone about it though ....... he probably divulged the information for shock value?

Either way, it's harmless enough (in MY opinion) and probably more common than you would be comfortable knowing about ........ I personally find it a trivial issue.

MadDog76

Wanderer2010 wrote: »

Wow that is exceptionally naive. You cant see inside anyone and you cant know anybodys thoughts. Your words of "grand" and "normal" are your judgements- what YOU perceive as normal. You work with people who you think as grand and normal just because those people might nod at the right places and say the right things
They could have a completely different set of morals and thoughts inside of them which drive what they do and yes that includes fapping off to Zoom. Do you take everything you see at face value?

It's called the Three Faces of Self, I think?

One face you show the world, the second face you show to close family/friends and the third face you keep to yourself .......... the third face is, apparently, the closest to your true self?

smellyoldboot

It's weird and definitely sexual deviant behaviour. Now he could for some weird reason also be making it up. Who knows. The thing is whether he is actually doing it or telling a weird lie, I would be distancing myself from this person asap. There's clearly a bit of a want in them either way and knowing what you know, how would you ever trust or feel comfortable with them potentially coming into contact with your partner or female relatives or colleagues.

He's already well on the way to sex offender highway if he feels normal enough about what he is doing to professional colleagues to confide in it to you.

HR is pointless though(in general of course but also specifically here) unless the confession was sent to you in text format and you have a record, essentially from the company's POV you could be just spreading a malicious lie.

Strumms

Ask the management without saying why, to update the company manual with something like...

“ it is forbidden for an employee to indulge in self pleasing, cracking one off, knocking one out ie. masturbation during working hours and at work. Also people may not indulge in the same behavior during unpaid breaks even with ‘a coat over it’... as it may be unhygienic or make people feel uncomfortable. It should be noted though that there is an accessible toilet over in McDonald’s..... #washyourhands

MadDog76

[Deleted User] wrote: »

If it really happened, and i have my doubts, i find him admitting to it more disturbing than the act.

How do you even inject that into the conversation?

I'm guessing you're female?

BrianD3

Thread is a wind up but it is a fairly plausible story. Men do masturbate to social media etc. pictures of women they know, women also do it and in fact the percentage of women who do it has been found to be slightly higher, 42 vs 40%. it's not a big leap to go from downloading social media pictures and masturbating furiously to them to doing it to a "live stream".

https://metro.co.uk/2018/02/16/loads-people-masturbating-coworkers-social-media-photos-7318746/

if it doesn't affect anyone's work and he can't be seen or heard doing it then it's nobody's business.

The revulsion and surprise that some men on boards feel about this might be due to low testosterone levels, being male feminist or No FAP idiots. A healthy man doesn't need to view porn to get horny, a half decent looking fully dressed girl walking down the street or packing shelves in Tesco is enough. I guarantee that during boring Zoom meeting many men are evaluating and thinking about riding other participants, most work meetings are a load of **** anyway.

Gruffalux

Wanderer2010 wrote: »

Wow that is exceptionally naive. You cant see inside anyone and you cant know anybodys thoughts. Your words of "grand" and "normal" are your judgements- what YOU perceive as normal. You work with people who you think as grand and normal just because those people might nod at the right places and say the right things
They could have a completely different set of morals and thoughts inside of them which drive what they do and yes that includes fapping off to Zoom. Do you take everything you see at face value?

I don't know. Is it so very weird of me to imagine that my work colleagues who I get along with well would not be **** during a zoom meeting with me while their camera is off? They can **** anywhere else they like in comfort and privacy and it is normal. I just think one could hope they would be well enough in the head not do so during an actual meeting.

At the risk of asking a silly question op, is your friend working from home?

Sakana

Deleted User wrote: »

If it really happened, and i have my doubts, i find him admitting to it more disturbing than the act.

How do you even inject that into the conversation?

Hey-o!

If it's in his own home, I don't think there's much to be done.

I understand that some people would find it disgusting, but I'm finding it difficult to extricate this behaviour from the realm of "no-one's business but his".

You'd want to be very naive to think men don't masturbate thinking about work colleagues.

MadDog76

Dav010 wrote: »

At the risk of asking a silly question op, is your friend working from home?

Now that's funny!!!!! 😂

MadDog76

Gruffalux wrote: »

I don't know. Is it so very weird of me to imagine that my work colleagues who I get along with well would not be **** during a zoom meeting with me while their camera is off? They can **** anywhere else they like in comfort and privacy and it is normal. I just think one could hope they would be well enough in the head not do so during an actual meeting.

Are you female?

Do you participate in Zoom meetings with men?

Do some of these men have their camera turned off?

If you answered yes to all three questions then yes, nice quiet John from Accounts, has pulled the guts off himself whilst looking at you ........





*John's name has been changed for confidentiality reasons*

**Above scenario based on a heterosexual situation and is not intended to offend/discriminate against the LGBTQ Community**

lawred2

Piehead wrote: »

A co-worker who is a buddy of mine has admitted to fapping off to the pictures on zoom calls of female attendees when they are talking. Not everyone has their camera on so he can’t been seen as his is off (he claims it’s broken). Nevertheless its seems somewhat deviant behaviour and must be against some work policy. Should I report to HR? May be just my word against him though?

lol