Should I report naughty friend

Trouser Snake

Wouldn't be associating with that friend again either way., creepy carry on.
Very slanderous statement to be making to HR, if its not true you've potentially destroyed a man's career.
Stay out of it, if anything else comes out down the line, maybe reconsider then.

Surreptitious

Sounds like it's a sexual fantasy about getting caught and telling you adds to the thrill. In a way he might hope he's found out. Why else admit it.

That will be 900 euro please,
Regards,
Freud.

Trouser Snake

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

Luke ‘Ming’ Flanagan behaviour.

No mention of any weed or booze in OP, but I'd wager its a more occurring "ritual" than used to be before lockdown.

Gruffalux

MadDog76 wrote: »

If a lad I worked with was w@nking to a girl I work with (and they probably do using pictures, videos or just their imagination) then that would have zero impact on me/my work ........ if I was told about it I'd probably laugh and shrug it off at most.

I work with a lot of men. There is not one of them I could possibly imagine jerking off during a work zoom meeting using the women talking as fodder. Why? Because they are all grand normal people. If I heard about it I would actually think the person was having some kind of a breakdown.

MadDog76

Gruffalux wrote: »

I work with a lot of men. There is not one of them I could possibly imagine jerking off during a work zoom meeting using the women talking as fodder. Why? Because they are all grand normal people. If I heard about it I would actually think the person was having some kind of a breakdown.

That's the most naive statement I've read in a long long time ......... the only thing you know 100% about the people you work with is that you will never ever know everything that goes on in their minds ......... normal people tend to keep their fantasies/fetishes to themselves or, at the very least, they'd keep them from those they feel would judge them for having said fantasies.

Gruffalux

MadDog76 wrote: »

That's the most naive statement I've read in a long long time ......... the only thing you know 100% about the people you work with is that you will never ever know everything that goes on in their minds ......... normal people tend to keep their fantasies/fetishes to themselves or, at the very least, they'd keep them from those they feel would judge them for having said fantasies.

Look come on, we all have fantasies. I am sure some of us feature the odd time in another's masturbation routine, and them in ours. But during an actual real life work meeting? I mean that is letting a grip on the line between fantasy and reality go too loose. In my opinion.

Wanderer2010

Gruffalux wrote: »

I work with a lot of men. There is not one of them I could possibly imagine jerking off during a work zoom meeting using the women talking as fodder. Why? Because they are all grand normal people. If I heard about it I would actually think the person was having some kind of a breakdown.

Wow that is exceptionally naive. You cant see inside anyone and you cant know anybodys thoughts. Your words of "grand" and "normal" are your judgements- what YOU perceive as normal. You work with people who you think as grand and normal just because those people might nod at the right places and say the right things
They could have a completely different set of morals and thoughts inside of them which drive what they do and yes that includes fapping off to Zoom. Do you take everything you see at face value?

If it really happened, and i have my doubts, i find him admitting to it more disturbing than the act.

How do you even inject that into the conversation?

MadDog76

Gruffalux wrote: »

Look come on, we all have fantasies. I am sure some of us feature the odd time in another's masturbation routine, and them in ours. But during an actual real life work meeting? I mean that is letting a grip on the line between fantasy and reality go too loose. In my opinion.

I'd say it was more about opportunity than anything else ......... he was foolish to tell anyone about it though ....... he probably divulged the information for shock value?

Either way, it's harmless enough (in MY opinion) and probably more common than you would be comfortable knowing about ........ I personally find it a trivial issue.

MadDog76

Wanderer2010 wrote: »

Wow that is exceptionally naive. You cant see inside anyone and you cant know anybodys thoughts. Your words of "grand" and "normal" are your judgements- what YOU perceive as normal. You work with people who you think as grand and normal just because those people might nod at the right places and say the right things
They could have a completely different set of morals and thoughts inside of them which drive what they do and yes that includes fapping off to Zoom. Do you take everything you see at face value?

It's called the Three Faces of Self, I think?

One face you show the world, the second face you show to close family/friends and the third face you keep to yourself .......... the third face is, apparently, the closest to your true self?

smellyoldboot

It's weird and definitely sexual deviant behaviour. Now he could for some weird reason also be making it up. Who knows. The thing is whether he is actually doing it or telling a weird lie, I would be distancing myself from this person asap. There's clearly a bit of a want in them either way and knowing what you know, how would you ever trust or feel comfortable with them potentially coming into contact with your partner or female relatives or colleagues.

He's already well on the way to sex offender highway if he feels normal enough about what he is doing to professional colleagues to confide in it to you.

HR is pointless though(in general of course but also specifically here) unless the confession was sent to you in text format and you have a record, essentially from the company's POV you could be just spreading a malicious lie.

Strumms

Ask the management without saying why, to update the company manual with something like...

“ it is forbidden for an employee to indulge in self pleasing, cracking one off, knocking one out ie. masturbation during working hours and at work. Also people may not indulge in the same behavior during unpaid breaks even with ‘a coat over it’... as it may be unhygienic or make people feel uncomfortable. It should be noted though that there is an accessible toilet over in McDonald’s..... #washyourhands

MadDog76

[Deleted User] wrote: »

If it really happened, and i have my doubts, i find him admitting to it more disturbing than the act.

How do you even inject that into the conversation?

I'm guessing you're female?

BrianD3

Thread is a wind up but it is a fairly plausible story. Men do masturbate to social media etc. pictures of women they know, women also do it and in fact the percentage of women who do it has been found to be slightly higher, 42 vs 40%. it's not a big leap to go from downloading social media pictures and masturbating furiously to them to doing it to a "live stream".

https://metro.co.uk/2018/02/16/loads-people-masturbating-coworkers-social-media-photos-7318746/

if it doesn't affect anyone's work and he can't be seen or heard doing it then it's nobody's business.

The revulsion and surprise that some men on boards feel about this might be due to low testosterone levels, being male feminist or No FAP idiots. A healthy man doesn't need to view porn to get horny, a half decent looking fully dressed girl walking down the street or packing shelves in Tesco is enough. I guarantee that during boring Zoom meeting many men are evaluating and thinking about riding other participants, most work meetings are a load of **** anyway.

Gruffalux

Wanderer2010 wrote: »

Wow that is exceptionally naive. You cant see inside anyone and you cant know anybodys thoughts. Your words of "grand" and "normal" are your judgements- what YOU perceive as normal. You work with people who you think as grand and normal just because those people might nod at the right places and say the right things
They could have a completely different set of morals and thoughts inside of them which drive what they do and yes that includes fapping off to Zoom. Do you take everything you see at face value?

I don't know. Is it so very weird of me to imagine that my work colleagues who I get along with well would not be **** during a zoom meeting with me while their camera is off? They can **** anywhere else they like in comfort and privacy and it is normal. I just think one could hope they would be well enough in the head not do so during an actual meeting.

Dav010

At the risk of asking a silly question op, is your friend working from home?

Sakana

Deleted User wrote: »

If it really happened, and i have my doubts, i find him admitting to it more disturbing than the act.

How do you even inject that into the conversation?

Hey-o!

If it's in his own home, I don't think there's much to be done.

I understand that some people would find it disgusting, but I'm finding it difficult to extricate this behaviour from the realm of "no-one's business but his".

You'd want to be very naive to think men don't masturbate thinking about work colleagues.

MadDog76

Dav010 wrote: »

At the risk of asking a silly question op, is your friend working from home?

Now that's funny!!!!! 😂

MadDog76

Gruffalux wrote: »

I don't know. Is it so very weird of me to imagine that my work colleagues who I get along with well would not be **** during a zoom meeting with me while their camera is off? They can **** anywhere else they like in comfort and privacy and it is normal. I just think one could hope they would be well enough in the head not do so during an actual meeting.

Are you female?

Do you participate in Zoom meetings with men?

Do some of these men have their camera turned off?

If you answered yes to all three questions then yes, nice quiet John from Accounts, has pulled the guts off himself whilst looking at you ........





*John's name has been changed for confidentiality reasons*

**Above scenario based on a heterosexual situation and is not intended to offend/discriminate against the LGBTQ Community**

lawred2

Piehead wrote: »

A co-worker who is a buddy of mine has admitted to fapping off to the pictures on zoom calls of female attendees when they are talking. Not everyone has their camera on so he can’t been seen as his is off (he claims it’s broken). Nevertheless its seems somewhat deviant behaviour and must be against some work policy. Should I report to HR? May be just my word against him though?

lol

1990sman

op so jel

Piehead

Dav010 wrote: »

At the risk of asking a silly question op, is your friend working from home?

Home obviously. Though he was caught last year fapping in the jax when his wireless earphones disconnected

1990sman

who isnt prone to a bit of the old wireless jaxfappin

Church on Tuesday

Speaking as a man, if you can't seperate your private fantasies from a professional work place environment then you may need to seek some help, sounds like sex addiction to me if it even happened in the first place which I highly doubt it did.

There's a time and a place FFS.

PsychoPete

Let the poor fella enjoy himself. I'd have no point if it was a woman doing it, flick away says I

1990sman

im wankin right now

jmlad2020

You aren't going to police people from doing this. He isn't the only one at it.

Ps. You little Snitch

Dav010

Piehead wrote: »

Home obviously. Though he was caught last year fapping in the jax when his wireless earphones disconnected

I had assumed it was, that is why I’m struggling to see how this could be construed at sexual misconduct in the workplace, or why you feel you have any reason to report this. As Ming demonstrated so ably, you do things in the privacy of your own home that you wouldn’t do in the workplace, even during working hours.

1990sman

i like a bit of clannad playin meself, ya kno just for the atmosphere

Millionaire only not

To all the holy Mary’s here , I suppose the rattle in the photocopier office is out so !
Grow up ffs do u really think that op was ever told this ?
Who would tell it !