Rekindling relationship with lying ex

laserlad2010 · 07-10-2020 02:22PM

This is bananas and representative of the keyboard warriors on this forum

Ye were casually seeing each other for 3 months
You were back on Tinder "a month before" so at the 2 month point and you don't think you should get the same treatment for that

You then looked at a few lines of an innocent text to another girl on his phone (but that's ok for a girl to do eh?) which you admit was innocent, actually you say you went through them and they were still innocent

You asked if he was "texting someone else" which is a question that is so loaded with meaning and given your reaction, probably asked with a serious load of emotion behind it (correct me if I'm wrong)

He denies it for one of three reasons:
- He wasn't texting someone else in a romantic sense (you said the messages were innocent)
- He didn't want you to know about it because you'd get upset and he planned to sleep around
- He didn't want you to know about it because he wasn't really doing anything wrong in his eyes

He has not reached out for one simple reason:
- YOU ASKED HIM NOT TO

Given your response to the scenario it is entirely possible that he has felt he has dodged a bullet

A good lesson in life:
- Hold yourself to the same standard as you do others

You were doing the exact same thing, and can you swear you wouldn't have denied it if asked?

TheadoreT · 07-10-2020 02:53PM

For something we all do tonnes of times everyday lying has such a bad stigma. It's a form of kindness in many instances and this "I need 100% honesty in relationships" nonsense is a sure fire recipe for failure. Of course theres a dark side to lying and at it's worse can have very real and destructive consequences but all instances need to be judged in isolation.

Someone not telling the truth about an absolutely meaningless online conversation could be seen as being kind to not set the person their datings mind racing about someone who is zero threat to the relationship.

What the guy didnt know was OP had snooped on his phone and she was asking the question in a form of entrapment to justify some irrational self fulfilling profecy she had about liars or her misplaced ideal notion of the perfect relationship(that only applies to him and not her) .

If you are to get things going again I'd advise to chill out on the intensity x100, try communicate better, and just enjoy each others company without letting your fear of being mugged off manifest itself into blowing minor situations out of all proportion. And above all going nuclear and ending things is never a smart ploy to try test his commitment.

LegacyUser · 07-10-2020 04:27PM

Hannibal_Smith wrote: »

He was just friends with another girl, but he lied about exchanging texts with her? Why did he lie if it was all innocent? Did he think you would react in a certain way if he'd told you the truth?

He wasnt friends with this girl. She was someone he had struck up a conversation with on tinder before we started dating. He had been talking to her on and off but never met because she moved abroad.

Whether he got in touch with you since can only be gauged by how badly things finished and only you and he know that. If you were adamant you never wanted to speak to or see him again, well he's not going to try contact you in those circumstances. If the shoe was on the other foot with you texting a friend, lying about it etc and your ex broke up with you, would you try make contact? If 6 months had passed and they reached out to you, would you want to revisit that pain?

Unfortunately thats something I cant answer for sure. Knowing me its likely I would though. I find it really hard to not talk to someone or ignore a message.

I'd say send a text. Be mindful it could go either way and prepare yourself for that. However, even if it is a no you get in response, at least you'll know and be out of this limbo you've found yourself in.

Im under no illusion that this could go terribly and he hates my guts. But youre right. At least then Ill know for sure and can walk away knowing theres nothing else I could do.

TheadoreT wrote: »

For something we all do tonnes of times everyday lying has such a bad stigma. It's a form of kindness in many instances and this "I need 100% honesty in relationships" nonsense is a sure fire recipe for failure. Of course theres a dark side to lying and at it's worse can have very real and destructive consequences but all instances need to be judged in isolation.

Someone not telling the truth about an absolutely meaningless online conversation could be seen as being kind to not set the person their datings mind racing about someone who is zero threat to the relationship.

I think this is so true and its good to hear such a frank statement. Everyone speaks about this perfect man who is infallible. I can tell you all of my male (and female) friends are far from perfect and either am I. Ive known them all to lie at some point but it doesnt mean theyre any less of a person or had any malice behind the lies. Theyre just human. But in a relationship it seems that youre not allowed to be human and make mistakes. Its a one shot thing.

What the guy didnt know was OP had snooped on his phone and she was asking the question in a form of entrapment to justify some irrational self fulfilling profecy she had about liars or her misplaced ideal notion of the perfect relationship(that only applies to him and not her) .

I guess it was entrapment but totally unintentional. I was expecting him to be honest with me when I brought it up and then it got out of control when he started lying about it. If I was to go back in time I would have just said that I like how our relationship is going and would hope that youre not keeping your options open (or something more well written) instead of bringing up the messages.

If you are to get things going again I'd advise to chill out on the intensity x100, try communicate better, and just enjoy each others company without letting your fear of being mugged off manifest itself into blowing minor situations out of all proportion. And above all going nuclear and ending things is never a smart ploy to try test his commitment.

I was in my head a lot wondering what he meant by saying this or that, or why he posted that on social media, or why is he being silent. Then I went online and googled advice, asked on forums and so on. My mind was all over the place and didnt know what to do or say. I would have been better off just taking advice from my close personal friends and family who have my best interest at heart.

The internet can be very black and white with advice and some of the details of the situation or even the emotional side dont translate very well over text.

LegacyUser · 09-10-2020 01:50PM

Thanks for all the advice everyone! I think I'll know not to post long replies in the future. Looks like it killed the discussion!

I thought I would update you on what happened, not that Im expecting anyone to be interested.

I sent him a message apologising for how I dealt with the breakup. He said there was no need to apologise and he was the one that was wrong.

He also said it was great to hear from me. We just caught up on where our lives were and then fell into our old habits, just asking what we were doing right now, watching netflix ect. The conversation naturally fizzled out so I just said goodnight and it was nice to be chatting again.

I was worried to say more because I usually put my foot in it when texting. I'd prefer to meet in person to talk about anything more serious, but thats not looking likely anytime soon with all the restrictions.

Is it best to keep contact to a minimum until we meet in person again?

IAMAMORON · 09-10-2020 04:10PM

honestyandtrust101 wrote: »

I would love to tell you the whole background to my story, but there's too much to say so I'll keep it short.

I was seeing a guy for a short while. 3 months to be exact. I was crazy about him and thought he was going to be the one. I have never had much luck dating and he was completely different to anyone I had been with before, in a good way. We weren't officially girlfriend and boyfriend, but I was just about to ask him when things made a turn for the worse.

I found out he was having some relatively innocent messages with another girl but when I asked him about it he lied about it saying that he wasn't messaging anyone. It could have been very innocent and he was just bored but because he lied about it I decided to end it, even though we weren't officially girlfriend and boyfriend.

He said I was right to end things because I lost trust in him and he was very sorry at the time. The way I left it was that I told him I'm not sure I could forgive him or if we could ever get back together. 6 months have passed now and we haven't spoken a word.

I've been thinking about him almost every day since we broke up. Most of the days it's just a fleeting thought when I see something that reminds me of him, but he's still on my mind. I think I'm willing to look past what he did, but some might think that's foolish. He hasn't reached out to me at all since the breakup and I worry that he's moved on. But on the other hand he might not want to risk trying things again seeing as I said I may never forgive him.

Would I be crazy for sending him a message to meet up and rekindle things? Is it always a case of once a liar always a liar?

He is over you now. The fact that you got in his face over a few texts when you were not even "officially" an item means you went too far. You were too heavy with him, how did you "find out " he was messaging someone else? Who told you that, or did you go snooping?

He is unlikely to take you on now after that ordeal, unless you are extremely attractive and he fancies a good time. But he is unlikely to respect you for taking him back after dumping him, that was a huge mistake.

It is up to you, but the long term prospects of your relationship succeeding are now slim to none. You could still be lovers, but he will always struggle to trust you going forward because you have already dumped him. Men hate that and they need to feel trusted also, not pried upon.

amdublin · 09-10-2020 07:40PM

honestyandtrust101 wrote: »

Thanks for all the advice everyone! I think I'll know not to post long replies in the future. Looks like it killed the discussion!

I thought I would update you on what happened, not that Im expecting anyone to be interested.

I sent him a message apologising for how I dealt with the breakup. He said there was no need to apologise and he was the one that was wrong.

He also said it was great to hear from me. We just caught up on where our lives were and then fell into our old habits, just asking what we were doing right now, watching netflix ect. The conversation naturally fizzled out so I just said goodnight and it was nice to be chatting again.

I was worried to say more because I usually put my foot in it when texting. I'd prefer to meet in person to talk about anything more serious, but thats not looking likely anytime soon with all the restrictions.

Is it best to keep contact to a minimum until we meet in person again?

Why do you think you will be meeting? The conversation naturally fizzled out? The reaching out to him is now over, no?

LegacyUser · 09-10-2020 08:10PM

amdublin wrote: »

Why do you think you will be meeting? The conversation naturally fizzled out? The reaching out to him is now over, no?

I think we might be meeting because I might suggest it once the restrictions relax. He could say no but that's okay.

The conversation fizzled out because we got to the point where we were asking each other what we were doing at that moment. I thought it was a good time to say I was going to sleep, which was the truth.

amdublin · 09-10-2020 09:41PM

honestyandtrust101 wrote: »

I think we might be meeting because I might suggest it once the restrictions relax. He could say no but that's okay.

The conversation fizzled out because we got to the point where we were asking each other what we were doing at that moment. I thought it was a good time to say I was going to sleep, which was the truth.

Why do you think this is a good idea?

Sonic the Shaghog · 09-10-2020 10:32PM

You'll be reading back on this with amazement after you've caught him texting others or actually cheating on you this time its like a slow car crash reading these posts

Jequ0n · 09-10-2020 11:07PM

honestyandtrust101 wrote: »

Thanks for all the advice everyone! I think I'll know not to post long replies in the future. Looks like it killed the discussion!

I thought I would update you on what happened, not that Im expecting anyone to be interested.

Again, a bit dramatic. Why would anyone be thriving to get an update on a 6 month old fling.

If this guy had any interest he'd have let you known. Maybe you blew it, maybe it wasn't meant to be. Either way this will not be your fairy tale romance and any more contact attempts from your side will inevitably make you look desperate for attention. Though I guess you will ignore any advice anyway and do your thing

10-10-2020 08:45AM

honestyandtrust101 wrote: »

Is it best to keep contact to a minimum until we meet in person again?

Did you make any arrangements to meet up?

Edit, just saw your post where you say you will suggest it.
I wouldnt, I think it's pointless

Hannibal_Smith · 10-10-2020 08:51AM

Has he been in contact since? I really wouldn't hedge any bets on meeting up and I mean that in the kindest of ways if he hasn't been in touch.

You've sent the text and opened the lines of communication. The doubt he might have had about getting in contact is gone.

If he's not getting in touch don't pick over it any longer, move on.

LegacyUser · 10-10-2020 04:16PM

Jequ0n wrote: »

Again, a bit dramatic. Why would anyone be thriving to get an update on a 6 month old fling.

That was exactly my point and why I said it!

If this guy had any interest he'd have let you known. Maybe you blew it, maybe it wasn't meant to be. Either way this will not be your fairy tale romance and any more contact attempts from your side will inevitably make you look desperate for attention. Though I guess you will ignore any advice anyway and do your thing

Hannibal_Smith wrote: »

Has he been in contact since? I really wouldn't hedge any bets on meeting up and I mean that in the kindest of ways if he hasn't been in touch.

You've sent the text and opened the lines of communication. The doubt he might have had about getting in contact is gone.

If he's not getting in touch don't pick over it any longer, move on.

I decided to ask friends and another forum the same question just to see if Im being crazy or not because opinion here seems to be very one sided. Im not saying anyone here is wrong but its always good to get a second opinion!

Most of them told me that I should be the one to make all the moves because I was the one who dumped him and that doing anything else is just playing some kind of game. They said that he already made his attempts to reconcile when you broke up so why would he try again when he thinks he will fall flat on his face. I could easily be leaving out some key information here that Ive told them and not you and if I am its entirely my fault. Theres a lot of information and sometimes i forget which bits are important.

And the point about being desperate, a good friend of mine said this to me today (paraphrasing):

"Dont worry about appearing desperate. He either wants to rekindle things or he doesnt. If he truly wants to be with you, desperation wouldnt turn anyone off and can actually be attractive if he still has feelings for you. If he doesnt want to be with you, it doesn't matter how you come across and you could be attractive, confident and aloof and he will still want nothing to do with you."

Is there anything to be said for taking a risk? What do I have to lose in reality? He could reject me outright and we never speak again and so me appearing desperate doesnt matter, or he could want to rekindle things and it might work out.

I truly am not trying to ignore the advice here. I am really trying to get my thoughts straight. My gut tells me to give it a chance and that I've nothing to lose. Emotions are really hard to ignore

10-10-2020 04:53PM

You have already texted him.
You apologised (not sure why!) ye then had a bit of conversation that 'fizzled out'

Did he give you some idea that he wanted to meet? or get back together? has he texted or got in touch since that?

if not, then I really would try to put this behind you

LegacyUser · 10-10-2020 06:27PM

I say go for it. What have you got to lose? Atleast that way you won't wonder what if? It's what I would do. I couldn't deal with wondering forever.

Who knows he may not be interested or he may be, either way you will have your answer and can then proceed.

And if ye do end up back together and he does it again atleast you can say you tried.

Best of luck

heartvshead · 10-10-2020 07:49PM

I'm glad you texted him OP and it's positive that he 1. he replied 2. he was happy to hear from you. Given the World of ghosting, I think it's a good response in itself.

If nothing else, it removes the 'what ifs' and 'regrets' that can be all consuming. Also good to clear the air with someone you had a strong connection with - the knot in your stomach can now go.

You apologised due to the passage of time and re-evaluation of matters with a cool head and the fact your feelings for him haven't gone away. Nothing wrong with that! That doesn't diminish or take away from how you felt at the time and he'd know that. If anything it shows maturity and sincerity on your part - and might go some way to explaining your reaction at the time i.e. how strongly you felt about him and therefore felt betrayed and hurt.

With the benefit of hindsight, we could all 'react' differently to situations but that doesn't mean your reaction was 'wrong'. If anything it's a constant life lesson of the minefield that is early dating confusion!! Yes he did what he did - does that mean he'd do it again? Who knows? But he's under no illusion if he did - what the consequences would be.

The fact he (eventually) came clean and apologised at the time but despite this, you broke up with him and are now re-connecting - I believe the ball's firmly in your court to initiate a meeting (if so desired). It's not up to him to ask you in this instance. He'd have been taken by surprise at your contact, however given the history would be threading carefully as does not yet know your intentions. Last thing he would want would be miscommunication or conflict.

A few pleasantries were exchanged and then naturally it "fizzled" given it was night time and an unexpected. It was a good idea to sign off to bed before things got weird/awkward etc. Plus some posters are asking if he's been in touch since? Again without knowing his status, I would not expect him to, given you're initiating and leading on this one.

I don't know the if you discussed his relationship status (if he's single) but given a few days headspace, I'd retain the momentum and suggest a coffee walk? Not much else to do right now!

At least then, you'll be able to gauge response etc. and go from there...

It's so hard to find a connection these days, even pre-Covid and dating is tough - so when you find it with someone and feel there may be unfinished business, give it a go. Absoloutely nothing to loose and who cares if someone thinks you look 'desperate' - these situations are not black and white nor one size fits all. People make mistakes - lessons learned - time passes - mindsets can change.

LegacyUser · 11-10-2020 11:46AM

No regrets wrote: »

I say go for it. What have you got to lose? Atleast that way you won't wonder what if? It's what I would do. I couldn't deal with wondering forever.

Who knows he may not be interested or he may be, either way you will have your answer and can then proceed.

And if ye do end up back together and he does it again atleast you can say you tried.

Best of luck

Thats what I was thinking. I could be forever think of him as the one who got away. The only thing stopping me from finding that out is a perceived fear of coming across desperate. I think this is a big problem in society. People not wanting to be their true selves because theyre worried what other people will think. Youve only one life to live and if youre not hurting anyone taking an action then why not do it.

Thank you for the well wishes.

heartvshead wrote: »

I'm glad you texted him OP and it's positive that he 1. he replied 2. he was happy to hear from you. Given the World of ghosting, I think it's a good response in itself.

Thanks! I know. It truly surprised me if Im honest. He replied very quickly. I was expecting him to take hours to respond to first gather his thoughts or maybe not respond at all. Im not sure if the speed of a response is anything to read into though.

With the benefit of hindsight, we could all 'react' differently to situations but that doesn't mean your reaction was 'wrong'. If anything it's a constant life lesson of the minefield that is early dating confusion!! Yes he did what he did - does that mean he'd do it again? Who knows? But he's under no illusion if he did - what the consequences would be.

At the time I thought I was doing the right thing but looking back now with a clear mind I could have dealt with it a lot better. My mind was fogged with emotions. I tried to tell myself to take some time to think about things but I couldnt help texting him after the breakup trying to figure out what happened. I think it made the situation worse in the end.

The fact he (eventually) came clean and apologised at the time but despite this, you broke up with him and are now re-connecting - I believe the ball's firmly in your court to initiate a meeting (if so desired). It's not up to him to ask you in this instance. He'd have been taken by surprise at your contact, however given the history would be threading carefully as does not yet know your intentions. Last thing he would want would be miscommunication or conflict.

Thats why Im not sure what to do next. I could easily keep messaging him with pleasantries every now and then but I think I would just become the friendly ex! On the other hand if I come straight out saying that I still have feelings for him it might throw him off because weve only spoken briefly since the breakup.

A few pleasantries were exchanged and then naturally it "fizzled" given it was night time and an unexpected. It was a good idea to sign off to bed before things got weird/awkward etc. Plus some posters are asking if he's been in touch since? Again without knowing his status, I would not expect him to, given you're initiating and leading on this one.

I don't know the if you discussed his relationship status (if he's single) but given a few days headspace, I'd retain the momentum and suggest a coffee walk? Not much else to do right now!

Would it be wrong to ask him if hes seeing anyone before suggesting meeting up? I figure asking that question would give the impression that Im still interested without actually saying it. But Im also worried that Im asking a personal question thats really none of my business!

It's so hard to find a connection these days, even pre-Covid and dating is tough - so when you find it with someone and feel there may be unfinished business, give it a go. Absoloutely nothing to loose and who cares if someone thinks you look 'desperate' - these situations are not black and white nor one size fits all. People make mistakes - lessons learned - time passes - mindsets can change.

Thank you so much for your post. Its made me feel a lot better about the situation. I honestly mean that.

laserlad2010 · 11-10-2020 01:37PM

You're only replying to posts that are telling you what you want to hear

Two of ye in it really - either ask him out or don't

It comes across that you're enjoying the drama of it all with these long replies to enabling posts

LegacyUser · 11-10-2020 08:18PM

laserlad2010 wrote: »

You're only replying to posts that are telling you what you want to hear

Two of ye in it really - either ask him out or don't

It comes across that you're enjoying the drama of it all with these long replies to enabling posts

Im not sure what you meant. I replied to most comments on this thread. If I didnt quote any its probably because it was said before. Sorry if I missed some replies.

I was only giving long replies because I was trying to explain myself in detail. I dont think a few words captures everything thats going on. Also I have a lot of free time on my hands.

I really do not enjoy the drama unless asking for advice and replying to comments is dramatic!

It might be best if I stop replying. I think Im annoying a lot of people. (theres the drama!). Thanks for all your advice. I have listened to and considered it all even if it doesnt seem like I have.

Hannibal_Smith · 11-10-2020 08:56PM

I think you need to take all the advice, consider it and then make a decision on what to do. Text him further, don't text him further, but make the decision and move passed this. If you were together for 3 months and broken up for 6, that means you've spent twice the time you were together lamenting the relationship. That is not good.

leggo · 12-10-2020 01:39AM

OP why did you ask for advice on this? You’re not looking for that. You’re looking to be validated for what you’re going to do anyway. I absolutely hate threads like this where an OP comes on and lists every reason why what they’re thinking is a bad idea, has the forum confirm that those are valid reasons to be concerned, then starts arguing with people about why they’re wrong for observing points they wouldn’t know to begin with unless the OP brought it up. You’re minimising the his lies when people point them out despite you choosing to identify him as your ‘lying ex’ in the title of this thread. Even the stuff you’re listening to: “my friend said not to worry about appearing desperate.” Shocking that your friend identified what you wanted to hear and supported you in it no matter what...that’s what friends do!

I’m not even telling you not to do it: it’s your life and we often learn these things through making mistakes. But don’t come on here and ask for advice then argue with people who give it or cite how these mysterious different ‘sources’ all think the majority of random people with no agenda reacting to information someone anonymous laid out are wrong.

LillySV · 12-10-2020 01:46AM

Give him a chance.. I’d rather be sorry for doing something than spend my life being sorry for not doing something and wondering if I was right

bitofabind · 12-10-2020 12:15PM

I don’t think you should be dating anyone right now OP. I think you should be taking time to invest in your own wellbeing, building your confidence and self identity up and learning to really like and accept yourself.

When you like yourself, you don’t waste time tying yourself in knots over someone that has given no indication whatsoever that they are interested at all. When your like yourself, you back yourself when someone has overstepped a personal boundary and don’t turn around and second guess yourself and decide to do a u-turn and create more drama with the same person because youre lonely. When you like yourself, there’s no drama like this.

Why have you had no luck with men all these years? What dating patterns have developed in your life? What beliefs do you have about yourself and men? Sometimes it’s easier to nose dive into the drama of “is he isn’t he” than it is to ask ourselves the important, uncomfortable questions that could trigger real change. Is this man investing in you now, trying to build something meaningful and trying to put your mind at ease? No, it’s just more drama of you overthinking while he’s probably back on tinder living his best life.

My advice would be to get off the apps and do some work on yourself. Figure out what you really need and learn how to give that to yourself, instead of looking for it externally. Therapy, journaling, meditating, an exercise you love can all help with this.

LegacyUser · 12-10-2020 08:06PM

Sorry. I know I said I wouldnt reply anymore but I felt I had to.

leggo wrote: »

OP why did you ask for advice on this? You’re not looking for that. You’re looking to be validated for what you’re going to do anyway. I absolutely hate threads like this where an OP comes on and lists every reason why what they’re thinking is a bad idea, has the forum confirm that those are valid reasons to be concerned, then starts arguing with people about why they’re wrong for observing points they wouldn’t know to begin with unless the OP brought it up. You’re minimising the his lies when people point them out despite you choosing to identify him as your ‘lying ex’ in the title of this thread. Even the stuff you’re listening to: “my friend said not to worry about appearing desperate.” Shocking that your friend identified what you wanted to hear and supported you in it no matter what...that’s what friends do!

I’m not even telling you not to do it: it’s your life and we often learn these things through making mistakes. But don’t come on here and ask for advice then argue with people who give it or cite how these mysterious different ‘sources’ all think the majority of random people with no agenda reacting to information someone anonymous laid out are wrong.

Im sorry if you feel that Ive been wasting your time. It wasnt my intention. Despite what you think, I have been listening to all the advice received. I really see where youre coming from and it has shown me the likely outcome. I think deep down I knew I had to do this but I wasnt sure how to approach it. I was also hoping that people might think that Im not crazy to do it. Maybe I should have just said something like 'Im going to get back in contact with my ex, what should I say.'

bitofabind wrote: »

I don’t think you should be dating anyone right now OP. I think you should be taking time to invest in your own wellbeing, building your confidence and self identity up and learning to really like and accept yourself.

When you like yourself, you don’t waste time tying yourself in knots over someone that has given no indication whatsoever that they are interested at all. When your like yourself, you back yourself when someone has overstepped a personal boundary and don’t turn around and second guess yourself and decide to do a u-turn and create more drama with the same person because youre lonely. When you like yourself, there’s no drama like this.

Why have you had no luck with men all these years? What dating patterns have developed in your life? What beliefs do you have about yourself and men? Sometimes it’s easier to nose dive into the drama of “is he isn’t he” than it is to ask ourselves the important, uncomfortable questions that could trigger real change. Is this man investing in you now, trying to build something meaningful and trying to put your mind at ease? No, it’s just more drama of you overthinking while he’s probably back on tinder living his best life.

My advice would be to get off the apps and do some work on yourself. Figure out what you really need and learn how to give that to yourself, instead of looking for it externally. Therapy, journaling, meditating, an exercise you love can all help with this.

Id like to think that I have confidence in myself and truly like and accept myself. Do I portray myself in a different way? Is missing an ex and trying to reconcile considered a flaw? I didnt think what I was doing was that unusual but maybe Im wrong.

The truth to why Ive not had luck with men is that I dont click with many men. Theres no joy in our dates and once theyre over I dont really think about them. My ex was different. He was on my mind throughout the day and always looked forward to our early dates.

Im no longer on the apps because its very depressing at the moment when you cant be fully comfortable on a date because of covid.

Ive spent nearly all of my life being single and think I can manage it very well. I just thought my ex was going to be the one and got carried away with the idea and it stuck. It still lingers because I still think theres a chance, even if it is very slim.

Hannibal_Smith · 13-10-2020 12:18PM

Your initial question has been answered, you contacted him. He hasn't (as far as you've said anyway) been in touch since and you're now asking whether you should keep contacting him.

If the feelings for you were reciprocated, wouldn't he be wanting to keep the momentum going? Wouldn't he be thinking like you are and saying so what if I look crazy, this could be my only chance? Wouldn't he think you contacted him therefore your attitude must have mellowed and it would be OK to keep contact going?

If you are going to ignore all the advice here and not reply further, then those replying are just talking to themselves.

ILoveYourVibes · 13-10-2020 02:38PM

honestyandtrust101 wrote: »

Is it best to keep contact to a minimum until we meet in person again?

Im confused.

You have arranged to meet?

ILoveYourVibes · 13-10-2020 02:50PM

honestyandtrust101 wrote: »

I decided to ask friends and another forum the same question just to see if Im being crazy or not because opinion here seems to be very one sided. Im not saying anyone here is wrong but its always good to get a second opinion!

.

Wait you are asking about this guy on two forums? That is a lot of head space.

Emotions are really hard to ignore

Well in those cases nothing we say will be of any use to you.:o

My best wishes.

I would stop posting though on forums because it really will not help you. It will just confuse you. If you can't help the emotions etc. They will be what sway you. You don't need advice.

Rekindling relationship with lying ex

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