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What's the etiquette here??

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    #5942
    Nevin Parsnipp
    Registered Users Posts: 832 ✭✭✭Nevin Parsnipp


    Lewis_Benson wrote: »
    Cooked up a big feed this evening for myself and herself..
    Garlic mushrooms to start.
    Fired up some minute steaks and had them on a nice ciabata with onions, pepper sauce and more mushrooms.
    Big load of home made chips and a side of salad with balsamic.


    Had 3 cans of German pilsner before hand, I'm into the Guinness West Indies Porter now, 6 bottles in the fridge... Some cocktail in the gut for tomorrow.

    Say you will feel a nice "glow" on the ringpiece ...when you hop that lot into the pan tomorrow Lewis.

    I recommend the "seat up....hover....and unload" method to minimize the spatther and blow back on the clock weights.

    Have a rough face cloth ....dipped in tepid water ..to buff the baloon knot in case herself is minded to poke around a bit......


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    #5943
    Lewis_Benson
    Registered Users Posts: 1,932 ✭✭✭Lewis_Benson


    Nevin Parsnipp wrote: »
    Say you will feel a nice "glow" on the ringpiece ...when you hop that lot into the pan tomorrow Lewis.

    I recommend the "seat up....hover....and unload" method to minimize the spatther and blow back on the clock weights.

    Have a rough face cloth ....dipped in tepid water ..to buff the baloon knot in case herself is minded to poke around a bit......

    There are a few strange noises coming from the gut this morning....


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    #5944
    Brendan Bendar
    Registered Users Posts: 19,212 ✭✭✭✭Brendan Bendar


    Lewis_Benson wrote: »
    There are a few strange noises coming from the gut this morning....

    Don’t let her bake too long Lewis.

    Not good if she builds up a blockage, would give her a belt of a strong ‘suppo’ if no movement today.

    If you do that I’d line the floor of the dunny with newspaper as there can be a big footprint if she ‘ blows’.

    You may not get time to make a stable approach to the thunderbox.


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    #5945
    Lewis_Benson
    Registered Users Posts: 1,932 ✭✭✭Lewis_Benson


    This isn't good lads...


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    #5946
    fuerte1976
    Closed Accounts Posts: 692 ✭✭✭fuerte1976


    Brendan Bendar wrote: »
    Don’t let her bake too long Lewis.

    Not good if she builds up a blockage, would give her a belt of a strong ‘suppo’ if no movement today.

    If you do that I’d line the floor of the dunny with newspaper as there can be a big footprint if she ‘ blows’.

    You may not get time to make a stable approach to the thunderbox.

    As always splendid advise and concern being shown here on this thread.


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    #5947
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    fuerte1976 wrote: »
    As always splendid advise and concern being shown here on this thread.

    And people have the gall to question how this thread is still going.


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    #5948
    Lewis_Benson
    Registered Users Posts: 1,932 ✭✭✭Lewis_Benson


    Round three...
    First 2 rounds were torturous.

    And the hangover isn't helping.


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    #5949
    Bobblehats
    Registered Users Posts: 4,707 ✭✭✭Bobblehats


    Lewis_Benson wrote: »
    Round three...
    First 2 rounds were torturous.

    And the hangover isn't helping.

    Ok relax, pal take a breather

    Here let me swab that. Ok listen your concentration's waiving a little bit. Pick it up, don’t pull straight out. Bend; your knees be strong on the inside and work around it. Look the fire's coming.... are you ready for the fire? We are firemen. We are firemen! The fent doesn't bother us. We live in the fent, we breathe in the fent. We train in the fent it tells us that we are ready, we’re at our home. We are where we're supposed to be flames don't intimidate us, so what do we do? We control the flames. We control the movements we move; the flames to where we want to. And then we extinguish them.


    Alright get back in there. I’m counting on you...good luck.


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    #5950
    Dual wheels
    Registered Users Posts: 714 ✭✭✭Dual wheels


    My sheriffs badge feels like it’s sitting on a cactus, some rough skiddies in the underpants this morning, 2 cans of Guinness left in the fridge no point leaving them there I suppose


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    #5951
    Lewis_Benson
    Registered Users Posts: 1,932 ✭✭✭Lewis_Benson


    The storm is over.

    Storm Ellen was nothing compared to that.
    Had a nice shower there and made sure the discharge chute got a thorough cleaning.


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    #5952
    Nevin Parsnipp
    Registered Users Posts: 832 ✭✭✭Nevin Parsnipp


    Lewis_Benson wrote: »
    The storm is over.

    Storm Ellen was nothing compared to that.
    Had a nice shower there and made sure the discharge chute got a thorough cleaning.

    Good man Lewis....good to see the superb etiquette of this excellent site is being maintained.

    Surely a "Protection Order"should be considered......?


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    #5953
    JohnnyFlash
    Registered Users Posts: 7,055 ✭✭✭JohnnyFlash


    Nevin Parsnipp wrote: »
    Good man Lewis....good to see the superb etiquette of this excellent site is being maintained.

    Surely a "Protection Order"should be considered......?

    Hearing reports of a small, bald man in a dung coloured polyester suit seen taking a dump in the car park of Corbalis GC over the weekend. Squatting beside his Dacia Duster, and using a hanky to wipe the sweat off his enormous forehead and purple nose.

    Know anything about that, Nev?


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    #5954
    Dual wheels
    Registered Users Posts: 714 ✭✭✭Dual wheels


    My hot female housemate left some stinker in the jacks this morning it would blind you


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    #5955
    JohnnyFlash
    Registered Users Posts: 7,055 ✭✭✭JohnnyFlash


    Dual wheels wrote: »
    My hot female housemate left some stinker in the jacks this morning it would blind you

    Absolutely no need for it. I know a lad who had called over to the apartment of this Belgian girl he worked with. Things were getting hot and heavy on the couch and he decided to visit the jacks before he got his one-eyed Wilson out. Said he went in, lifted the lid, and was confronted with what looked like a dead otter floating in the pan. Enormous specimen. Complete and utter mood killer as you can imagine.


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    #5956
    Dual wheels
    Registered Users Posts: 714 ✭✭✭Dual wheels


    JohnnyFlash wrote: »
    Absolutely no need for it. I know a lad who had called over to the apartment of this Belgian girl he worked with. Things were getting hot and heavy on the couch and he decided to visit the jacks before he got his one-eyed Wilson out. Said he went in, lifted the lid, and was confronted with what looked like a dead otter floating in the pan. Enormous specimen. Complete and utter mood killer as you can imagine.

    Women are dirty


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    #5957
    FintanMcluskey
    Registered Users Posts: 8,314 ✭✭✭FintanMcluskey


    JohnnyFlash wrote: »
    and was confronted with what looked like a dead otter floating in the pan.

    Jeasus


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    #5958
    Bobblehats
    Registered Users Posts: 4,707 ✭✭✭Bobblehats


    Maybe she’s a bit like myself in that she “logged in” but forgot to log out.

    Also some toilets just don’t flush right. Remember folks if in doubt, stick about. Generally they’ll just leave some residual paper “sunny side up” but the toilet can play dirty tricks...


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    #5959
    Dual wheels
    Registered Users Posts: 714 ✭✭✭Dual wheels


    Bobblehats wrote: »
    Maybe she’s a bit like myself in that she “logged in” but forgot to log out.

    Also some toilets just don’t flush right. Remember folks if in doubt, stick about. Generally they’ll just leave some residual paper “sunny side up” but the toilet can play dirty tricks...

    If I’m going to a gaf and I know I’m going to be on the stout I’ll bring a bic in the pocket in case I have to do a bit of emergency plumbing


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    #5960
    the purple tin
    Registered Users Posts: 10,943 ✭✭✭✭the purple tin


    How on earth has this thread got to 6000 posts?!
    Has the world gone crazy?


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    #5961
    Eggonyerface
    Registered Users Posts: 669 ✭✭✭Eggonyerface


    the purple tin wrote: »
    How on earth has this thread got to 6000 posts?!
    Has the world gone crazy?

    2000 or so of the posts are people asking how is the thread still going. But to answer the question it is still going because it's the best thread on boards


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    #5962
    StevenToast
    Registered Users Posts: 3,435 ✭✭✭StevenToast


    This thread along with mr.fegelien and trying to figure out his fake accounts provide endless entertainment...

    "Don't piss down my back and tell me it's raining." - Fletcher



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    #5963
    Dual wheels
    Registered Users Posts: 714 ✭✭✭Dual wheels


    The old sheriffs badge is feeling better today no more stout till Friday, porridge brown bread and spuds all week keep me regular


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    #5964
    JohnnyFlash
    Registered Users Posts: 7,055 ✭✭✭JohnnyFlash


    Dual wheels wrote: »
    The old sheriffs badge is feeling better today no more stout till Friday, porridge brown bread and spuds all week keep me regular

    The porridge bread is fantastic stuff for adding some much needed fibre to the diet. It’s also lovely stuff. Big solid logs as a result.


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    #5965
    An Ri rua
    Registered Users Posts: 4,486 ✭✭✭An Ri rua


    StevenToast wrote: »
    This thread along with mr.fegelien and trying to figure out his fake accounts provide endless entertainment...

    I wonder does Mr Fegelien poop (apparently the Queen of England does) and, if he does, has he any esoteric questions on it? It is one of the great mysteries. A journey of self-discovery. Not even a father-son conversation.


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    #5966
    An Ri rua
    Registered Users Posts: 4,486 ✭✭✭An Ri rua


    Dual wheels wrote: »
    My hot female housemate left some stinker in the jacks this morning it would blind you

    You'll be watching the Crying Game some night on the sofa and you'll realise you should have opened that bonnet sooner. Nothin worse than finding a Nissan Bluebird engine in a Jag. ... If it looks like a sweet V8 Jag but smells and sounds like an old school diesel, run a mile...


  • Options
    #5967
    An Ri rua
    Registered Users Posts: 4,486 ✭✭✭An Ri rua


    the purple tin wrote: »
    How on earth has this thread got to 6000 posts?!
    Has the world gone crazy?

    I know we've stopped a lot of things since March, and I know its not that regular for some of us in these stressful times (Phil Hogan's fate has my guts in knots but I'll have a celebratory sh1te maybe yet) but one would hope that people are still taking the time to have a proper evacuation and that it hasn't been banned or you don't have to wear a mask and gloves while performing.
    Although masks for bystanders may be advisable on an ad-hoc basis.


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    #5968
    Dual wheels
    Registered Users Posts: 714 ✭✭✭Dual wheels


    JohnnyFlash wrote: »
    The porridge bread is fantastic stuff for adding some much needed fibre to the diet. It’s also lovely stuff. Big solid logs as a result.

    Yes good reliable stuff and no messy dung


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    #5969
    StevenToast
    Registered Users Posts: 3,435 ✭✭✭StevenToast


    An Ri rua wrote: »
    I wonder does Mr Fegelien poop (apparently the Queen of England does) and, if he does, has he any esoteric questions on it? It is one of the great mysteries. A journey of self-discovery. Not even a father-son conversation.

    I would imagine some of the contributors here could do with a "Groom of the stool"

    Google it....

    "Don't piss down my back and tell me it's raining." - Fletcher



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    #5970
    Nevin Parsnipp
    Registered Users Posts: 832 ✭✭✭Nevin Parsnipp


    JohnnyFlash wrote: »
    Hearing reports of a small, bald man in a dung coloured polyester suit seen taking a dump in the car park of Corbalis GC over the weekend. Squatting beside his Dacia Duster, and using a hanky to wipe the sweat off his enormous forehead and purple nose.

    Know anything about that, Nev?

    Another sour, nasty post from you Flash.....becoming the norm now so it is.

    I have some knowledge of the car park you mention.....if only to form an opinion that the surface is smoother than the hen run of a golf course that it is ajacent to.

    Cerutti suits here pal.....Loake shoes and a top of the range Hublot watch.

    Have to look good apres golf in a well regarded and highly thought of club.

    Looking at the latest high end Lexus as an appropriate mode of transport for a person of my standing.

    Noticed that the last lad that valeted my slab had a distinct East Galway accent about him as well as a mouthful of badly fitting dentures.

    Relative of yours.....?


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    #5971
    Surreptitious
    Registered Users Posts: 8,130 ✭✭✭Surreptitious


    Has terrible strain trying to release a digested pizza. You get the sense you're getting somewhere and nothing is happening but the promise remains. It takes a full body work out to exercise the anal muscles and compliment the movement of the bowel to reject the mess from within.
    After a solid ten minutes some success was achieved bit by bit but still left with an unsatisfactory feeling in the pit of the body. 2/10 Have seen better **** on TCM.


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