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  • 02-08-2020 12:06pm
    #1
    Wow_really
    Registered Users Posts: 26 ✭


    Separate holidays while in a relationship. Yeah or nah.

    I’ve been in a long term relationship and we have never officially went on holidays together as a couple. He books them behind my back, which I’m dead against. Doesn’t discuss them, or tell me any info about them. I will only know if he’s away when I ring his phone and get an international ring tone. Should I accept this or not?


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    #2
    Loveinapril
    Registered Users Posts: 2,329 ✭✭✭Loveinapril


    Wow, that sounds bizarre. I can imagine if he is secretive about that he may be hiding other things. Maybe this is better suited to PI?


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    #3
    Wow_really
    Registered Users Posts: 26 ✭Wow_really


    So u think I should investigate. Like going off traveling by himself not telling me anything and not contacting me for the whole duration isn’t right is it. Apparently he thinks it’s ok but maybe I’m too old school and I should just go along with it. He’s even has a week booked away in Ireland and didn’t even ask if I wanted to go


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    #4
    wirelessdude01
    Registered Users Posts: 8,419 ✭✭✭wirelessdude01


    How long are ye together?


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    #5
    jrosen
    Registered Users Posts: 1,629 ✭✭✭jrosen


    Travelling individually isn't a big deal but your situ is weird


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    #6
    Wow_really
    Registered Users Posts: 26 ✭Wow_really


    Seven years


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    #7
    jam_mac_jam
    Registered Users Posts: 4,723 ✭✭✭jam_mac_jam


    Going away separately is fine. My parents see in their sixties go away separately sometimes as they are interested in different things. I also know friends who do it as well, with their friends or whatever.

    What is strange is that he isn't telling you or that he's secretly going. That would be a red flag for me. Do you go on weekends away?


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    #8
    wirelessdude01
    Registered Users Posts: 8,419 ✭✭✭wirelessdude01


    Wow_really wrote: »
    Seven years

    Do ye live together?


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    #9
    Wow_really
    Registered Users Posts: 26 ✭Wow_really


    No nothing taken nowhere unfortunately


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    #10
    Wow_really
    Registered Users Posts: 26 ✭Wow_really


    No


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    #11
    jrosen
    Registered Users Posts: 1,629 ✭✭✭jrosen


    Very odd imo. 7 years, no living together, no holidays together and he keeps things from you. Maybe its time to rethink your relationship


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    #12
    Wow_really
    Registered Users Posts: 26 ✭Wow_really


    Yeah think so


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    #13
    wirelessdude01
    Registered Users Posts: 8,419 ✭✭✭wirelessdude01


    What do you get out of this 'relationship'?


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    #14
    wirelessdude01
    Registered Users Posts: 8,419 ✭✭✭wirelessdude01


    What do you get out of this 'relationship'?


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    #15
    wirelessdude01
    Registered Users Posts: 8,419 ✭✭✭wirelessdude01


    What do you get out of this 'relationship'?


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    #16
    JustAThought
    Registered Users Posts: 5,324 ✭✭✭JustAThought


    wirelessdude01 wrote: »
    What do you get out of this 'relationship'?

    Maybe time to withdraw all
    noctural fun & games and see if there is anything IN the relationship you both enjoy or have in common other than sex. 7 years aNd not livimg together or discussing it, Nd
    him sneeky booking EVERY holiday Nd weekend away without letting you know in advance
    or involving you is a bit unacceptable. Also that you both never go away together for weekends ( in 7 years-wtf!!) is really off.

    Even if you both have children or don’t have much
    money generally the while attitude and picture is just not on really.

    BTW I’n in favour of both joint and seperate
    weekends away and room for friends only werkends away and not being able to
    take holidays together due to different interests or work or money issues . But IMO your situation - seven years of it - is fairly shoddy, disinterested, disrespectful and unacceptable.


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    #17
    Wow_really
    Registered Users Posts: 26 ✭Wow_really


    Nothing


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    #18
    wirelessdude01
    Registered Users Posts: 8,419 ✭✭✭wirelessdude01


    Wow_really wrote: »
    Nothing

    Why are in it so?


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    #19
    theteal
    Registered Users Posts: 7,593 ✭✭✭theteal


    I'm struggling to believe this one.

    Yeah separate holidays are fine. However, booking them and pissing off behind your back is not in the slightest.


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    #20
    repulsebay321
    Registered Users Posts: 44 ✭repulsebay321


    I would bet a lot of money that the OP's man has a wife and kids.


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    #21
    wirelessdude01
    Registered Users Posts: 8,419 ✭✭✭wirelessdude01


    repulsebay321 wrote: »
    I would bet a lot of money that the OP's man has a wife and kids.

    That is a good shout.


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    #22
    Wow_really
    Registered Users Posts: 26 ✭Wow_really


    I honestly am beginning to question myself why I’m in this relationship at all


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    #23
    Wow_really
    Registered Users Posts: 26 ✭Wow_really


    As far as I’m aware no kids or ex wives


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    #24
    wirelessdude01
    Registered Users Posts: 8,419 ✭✭✭wirelessdude01


    Do ye live in the same town/village?


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    #25
    Wow_really
    Registered Users Posts: 26 ✭Wow_really


    wirelessdude01 wrote: »
    Do ye live in the same town/village?

    No


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    #26
    wirelessdude01
    Registered Users Posts: 8,419 ✭✭✭wirelessdude01


    Wow_really wrote: »
    No

    Have you met his family?


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    #27
    Wow_really
    Registered Users Posts: 26 ✭Wow_really


    wirelessdude01 wrote: »
    Have you met his family?

    Yes just about


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    #28
    wirelessdude01
    Registered Users Posts: 8,419 ✭✭✭wirelessdude01


    Wow_really wrote: »
    Yes just about

    Explain.


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    #29
    Wow_really
    Registered Users Posts: 26 ✭Wow_really


    wirelessdude01 wrote: »
    Explain.

    Just doesn’t like me visiting them.


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    #30
    jrosen
    Registered Users Posts: 1,629 ✭✭✭jrosen


    Id say the chances of him having another life is quite possible.
    An aunt of mine had a partner for years, turns out he had a wife and kids and it all only came to the surface when he passed away suddenly. Some people can be sneaky


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    #31
    wirelessdude01
    Registered Users Posts: 8,419 ✭✭✭wirelessdude01


    OP, think you know what you need to do here but you need to come to that realisation in your own time.


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