Holidays

Wow_really

Separate holidays while in a relationship. Yeah or nah.

I’ve been in a long term relationship and we have never officially went on holidays together as a couple. He books them behind my back, which I’m dead against. Doesn’t discuss them, or tell me any info about them. I will only know if he’s away when I ring his phone and get an international ring tone. Should I accept this or not?

Loveinapril

Wow, that sounds bizarre. I can imagine if he is secretive about that he may be hiding other things. Maybe this is better suited to PI?

Wow_really

So u think I should investigate. Like going off traveling by himself not telling me anything and not contacting me for the whole duration isn’t right is it. Apparently he thinks it’s ok but maybe I’m too old school and I should just go along with it. He’s even has a week booked away in Ireland and didn’t even ask if I wanted to go

wirelessdude01

How long are ye together?

jrosen

Travelling individually isn't a big deal but your situ is weird

Wow_really

Seven years

jam_mac_jam

Going away separately is fine. My parents see in their sixties go away separately sometimes as they are interested in different things. I also know friends who do it as well, with their friends or whatever.

What is strange is that he isn't telling you or that he's secretly going. That would be a red flag for me. Do you go on weekends away?

wirelessdude01

Wow_really wrote: »

Seven years

Do ye live together?

Wow_really

No nothing taken nowhere unfortunately

Wow_really

No

jrosen

Very odd imo. 7 years, no living together, no holidays together and he keeps things from you. Maybe its time to rethink your relationship

Wow_really

Yeah think so

wirelessdude01

What do you get out of this 'relationship'?

wirelessdude01

What do you get out of this 'relationship'?

wirelessdude01

What do you get out of this 'relationship'?

JustAThought

wirelessdude01 wrote: »

What do you get out of this 'relationship'?

Maybe time to withdraw all
noctural fun & games and see if there is anything IN the relationship you both enjoy or have in common other than sex. 7 years aNd not livimg together or discussing it, Nd
him sneeky booking EVERY holiday Nd weekend away without letting you know in advance
or involving you is a bit unacceptable. Also that you both never go away together for weekends ( in 7 years-wtf!!) is really off.

Even if you both have children or don’t have much
money generally the while attitude and picture is just not on really.

BTW I’n in favour of both joint and seperate
weekends away and room for friends only werkends away and not being able to
take holidays together due to different interests or work or money issues . But IMO your situation - seven years of it - is fairly shoddy, disinterested, disrespectful and unacceptable.

Wow_really

Nothing

wirelessdude01

Wow_really wrote: »

Nothing

Why are in it so?

theteal

I'm struggling to believe this one.

Yeah separate holidays are fine. However, booking them and pissing off behind your back is not in the slightest.

repulsebay321

I would bet a lot of money that the OP's man has a wife and kids.

wirelessdude01

repulsebay321 wrote: »

I would bet a lot of money that the OP's man has a wife and kids.

That is a good shout.

Wow_really

I honestly am beginning to question myself why I’m in this relationship at all

Wow_really

As far as I’m aware no kids or ex wives

wirelessdude01

Do ye live in the same town/village?

Wow_really

wirelessdude01 wrote: »

Do ye live in the same town/village?

No

wirelessdude01

Wow_really wrote: »

No

Have you met his family?

Wow_really

wirelessdude01 wrote: »

Have you met his family?

Yes just about

wirelessdude01

Wow_really wrote: »

Yes just about

Explain.

Wow_really

wirelessdude01 wrote: »

Explain.

Just doesn’t like me visiting them.

jrosen

Id say the chances of him having another life is quite possible.
An aunt of mine had a partner for years, turns out he had a wife and kids and it all only came to the surface when he passed away suddenly. Some people can be sneaky

wirelessdude01

OP, think you know what you need to do here but you need to come to that realisation in your own time.

Irish_rat

Wow_really wrote: »

Seven years

Have you slept with him during this time?
Something definitely not right here.

Wow_really

Irish_rat wrote: »

Have you slept with him during this time?
Something definitely not right here.[/QUOTE
Yep

beggars_bush

Why is this in the travel forum?

Wow_really

wirelessdude01 wrote: »

Why are in it so?

Honestly don’t know anymore tbh

wirelessdude01

Does he ever have to leave suddenly when he is with you?

Wow_really

wirelessdude01 wrote: »

Does he ever have to leave suddenly when he is with you?

No

wirelessdude01

What is your gut telling you?

SEPT 23 1989

I hope this is not real because it makes for incredibly sad reading

Wow_really

SEPT 23 1989 wrote: »

I hope this is not real because it makes for incredibly sad reading

Unfortunately it’s 100 percent real

Wow_really

wirelessdude01 wrote: »

What is your gut telling you?

I honestly don’t know. I’m just so drained from it been repeated and repeated over the years.

Wow_really

beggars_bush wrote: »

Why is this in the travel forum?

Apologies for putting it the wrong forum