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Things you find in Irish rental properties

2

Comments

  • #32
    punisher5112
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 24,519 ✭✭✭✭punisher5112


    Rodney Bathgate wrote: »
    We nabbed one of the road works flashing lights in a drive by. Put it back a few days later as it wouldn’t stop flashing. :)

    You could open it up and disconnect battery.

    Found 2 in a shed, there at least 10 years and battery still works.


  • #33
    punisher5112
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 24,519 ✭✭✭✭punisher5112


    buried wrote: »
    Rattly Washing machines that jump up and down more times than Michael Jordan ever did

    Remind me, mine has somehow moved and now bouncing a bit. Was level.


  • #34
    nullzero
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 19,166 ✭✭✭✭nullzero
    °°°°°


    Mould is the big one.

    Broken appliances, usually broken because they're cheap tat.

    I saw what turn out to be pancake batter on the ceiling of one kitchen, somebody attempted to flip the pancake immediately after they poured the batter onto the pan it seemed.

    And another mention for the "Sure it's grand" black leather couch that is broken in the middle.

    That and everything having a distinct whiff of late 80s early 90s about it.


  • #35
    Ted_YNWA
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 71,833 ✭✭✭✭Ted_YNWA


    odyssey06 wrote: »
    Weird housemate.

    If you can't spot who the weird one is, it is probably you.


  • #36
    punisher5112
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 24,519 ✭✭✭✭punisher5112


    Little to no insulation whatsoever....

    What is the deal with these and you will see even in the frozen weather the windows will be open.


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  • #37
    retalivity
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2, Paid Member Posts: 15,856 ✭✭✭✭retalivity


    punisher5112 wrote: »
    Little to no insulation whatsoever....

    What is the deal with these and you will see even in the frozen weather the windows will be open.

    Keeping the windows closed builds up the condensation and feeds the mould.
    Its a lose-lose


  • #38
    Purple Mountain
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,986 ✭✭✭✭Purple Mountain


    A tap that constantly drips drips drips drips.

    To thine own self be true



  • #39
    buried
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,980 ✭✭✭buried


    Utility bills that show up to your address and apartment number after you move in, and the bills are not addressed to your name , but to lads called "Joan Vasquez" or "Bernard De Blyth" or some other ridiculous moniker

    Bullet The Blue Shirts



  • #40
    Muahahaha
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 19,832 ✭✭✭✭Muahahaha


    Ubbquittious wrote: »
    *The obligatory black leather couch, badly worn and quite possibly damaged

    And its always from Bargaintown, the furniture shop targeted at landlords who are too tight to go to Ikea


  • #41
    CrankyHaus
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,280 ✭✭✭CrankyHaus


    Keys that are so worn-down they require an elaborate dance of repeatedly fiddling them in the lock for longer than one of Sting's Tantric Sex marathons


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  • #42
    the purple tin
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,943 ✭✭✭✭the purple tin


    Religious pamplets, usually Jehovahs Witness stuff.


  • #43
    whisky_galore
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,266 ✭✭✭✭whisky_galore


    Interior decor of the cheap "Live, Laugh, Love" variety.

    Sh1t photo canvas pictures. Probably the display model from a branch of Harvey Norman's.


  • #44
    Fitz*
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,806 ✭✭✭✭Fitz*


    3 pint glasses, a random TV wire and a USB phone charger socket.


  • #45
    Montage of Feck
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,450 ✭✭✭Montage of Feck


    A sacred heart lamp.

    hltexrvukjmx.jpg

    🙈🙉🙊



  • #46
    Ubbquittious
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,371 ✭✭✭Ubbquittious


    Obvious Desperate Breakfasts wrote: »
    It’s nitpick time. On the first bolded point, why aren’t you bringing your own cutlery and knives? Those things don’t need to be provided. On the second bolded point, you’re supposed to clear that fluff from the extractor fan. It’s remarkably easy to do.

    Because the landlord supplied all his. All I need to bring is a good knife sharpener. Though if he ever finds out how sharp the knives are now he will surely swap them out with more blunt ones for the next tenant

    It is more the fact that someone built a bathroom with no window that bothers me than the dust in the fan


  • #47
    Arghus
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2, Paid Member Posts: 16,415 ✭✭✭✭Arghus


    Utility bills addressed to the old tenants. As buried said above, none of these people ever have bog-standard Irish names. Instead they have incredibly evocative names like Luis Felipe Quesadiila or Jan De Kock. It seems implausible that people with names like this once lived in the same profoundly dull, real and grey/beige spot you have to call home. These bills will keep coming at a furious rate, until one impossible to predict day in the future, when they just suddenly stop.

    An indeterminate, but faintly unpleasant and unlocatable smell.

    Kitchen tiles.

    A fireplace that clearly has not been used in years, except as a bin. And gives off vibes like it'll burn the whole place down if you even think about laying a few firelighters in it.

    Extraction fans in the bathroom that clearly don't extract shit. A strong smell of burning hair accompanies these if left on for more than five minutes.

    A toaster so old that it looks like something Genghis Khan would have used.

    A small army of cleaning products and bottles of bleach under the u-bend of the kitchen sink, clearly assembled over years by multiple generations of tenants. Most do the same thing and the bottles are three quarters full. All the bottles are queasily coloured.

    Endless varieties of mould. More mould than you ever saw before. Mould in places you didn't think it was possible. And every place will have it's own tinge to it's mould - maybe orange, maybe purple, maybe green.

    Screwdrivers and nails rolling around in the drawers.

    Electricity sockets that are 90% close to being aligned properly in the wall, but, clearly on the day, 90% was close enough.

    Tin openers that even magpies wouldn't steal.


  • #48
    Stovepipe
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,985 ✭✭✭Stovepipe


    A Super Ser.Menus from every possible takeaway. Something the previous tenant thought was too heavy to shift, so they abandoned it (in my case, a very old manual typewriter). Mould.


  • #49
    whisky_galore
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,266 ✭✭✭✭whisky_galore


    Arghus wrote: »
    Tin openers that even magpies wouldn't steal.

    The pre WW1 tin opener is a given in the kitchen drawer.


  • #50
    hoodie6029
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,532 ✭✭✭hoodie6029


    An empty bracket high up on a wall for a 14 inch Grundig TV. It last had a TV on it in 2001.

    Old broadband routers.

    A hoover that makes a racket but cleans nothing.

    This is water. Inspiring speech by David Foster Wallace https://youtu.be/DCbGM4mqEVw?si=GS5uDvegp6Er1EOG



  • #51
    howamidifferent
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,819 ✭✭✭howamidifferent


    Big yellow stained/coloured king size duvet thrown on top of the wardrobe. Any attempt to move it results in years of dust and mites circulating in the air.

    The obligitory mass card under the matress.

    Three broken irons under the kitchen sink.


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  • #52
    the purple tin
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,943 ✭✭✭✭the purple tin


    Bath, sink and toilet in a lovely shade of avocado, fawn or maybe even dark brown. Sink is always miniscule. Toilet, towel rail and sink are loose and coming away from the wall.

    Instead of a real shower, a crappy rubber hose rig that plugs into the taps. Stained, ancient shower curtain.

    Manky ring around the bath that can never be cleaned off. Manky stains below the waterline of the toilet that are equally invincible.
    A pathetically weak flush that leads to constant blockages.

    Cistern takes about half an hour to refill and makes more noise than a jumbo jet at take-off.

    Flowery curtains on the bathroom window, last washed during the space race.
    One of those silly basket things that sits across the bath and keeps your bathing essentials in easy reach.


  • #53
    CrankyHaus
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,280 ✭✭✭CrankyHaus


    the purple tin wrote: »
    Toilet, towel rail and sink are loose and coming away from the wall.


    Because the towel rail, shower rail and bogroll holder were all simply screwed directly into the wall plasterboard by some breakfast roll chewing neanderthal in the 2000s.


  • #54
    Chinasea
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,568 ✭✭✭Chinasea


    Breeze block walls in the garden no paint nor plaster, even 40 years later. No planting whatsoever. Gray grim and baron. Ugly parking space for car/taxi plonked right in front of main front of house facing window. Shudder...


  • #55
    Cheensbo
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,704 ✭✭✭Cheensbo


    I live in this whole thread :pac:






    :(


  • #56
    whisky_galore
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,266 ✭✭✭✭whisky_galore


    An electric shower noisier than a tractor harvesting silage, with controls that need a degree in thermodynamics to avoid being scalded or frozen.


  • #57
    jill_valentine
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,090 ✭✭✭jill_valentine


    Mould mould mould
    (how do you like it, how do you like it)


  • #58
    the purple tin
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,943 ✭✭✭✭the purple tin


    Those crap cds they used to give away free with the newspapers.


  • #59
    2011
    Moderators, Home & Garden Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators, Regional East Moderators Posts: 12,768 Mod ✭✭✭✭2011


    1. Very strong musty smell.
    2. Attic hatch door missing.
    3. Light bulbs missing or blown in most rooms. String pull type light switches on wrong side of doors.
    4. Patterned carpets from early sixties with worn patches. Sections cut out to remove cat sh!t stains from a generation ago.
    5. Numerous faded plastic bottles that contained cleaning products a very long time ago.
    6. Cracked glass on small rotten windows that have been painted closed.
    7. Perished rubber shower hose on bath taps. Shower head missing. Tide marks on side of pale blue bath. Bath plug replaced with beer mats. Dirty ashtray in bathroom sink. Cracked tile effect covering on uneven creaking floor. Strange spongy feeling under foot. Dead insects dotted around window ledge. Dusty net curtains provide limited privacy.
    8. Toilet with missing cistern lid that requires a knack to flush it which wobbles once any weight is applied.
    9. Lock on bathroom door has been forced so no longer works.
    10. Occasional electrical shocks from the kitchen taps.
    11. Pages from the Farmers Journal used as drawer liners.
    12. Lights dim and flicker when the cooker is switched on
    13. Mattress has a mysterious large brown stains in a shape that resembles South Africa.
    14. A strange smell emanates from any electrical heater that is switched on.
    15. A dead rodent under the fridge that can not be identified due to advanced decomposition.
    16. Broken intercom that randomly buzzes.
    17. Dirty cups and glasses that are stuck to the kitchen shelves. Unidentifiable dark colored viscous liquid in some glasses.
    18. A selection of odd and strangely brittle socks strewn around the landing floor along with rusted mouse traps with long since rejected, hairy, moldy bait.
    19. Very obvious semi completed attempts at repairs to plaster on various walls that have been half pained in a different color.
    20. Internal doors can’t close fully, badly warped and are irregular shapes. Footprints from decade old kicks across the middle of some doors.


  • #60
    Risingshadoo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 82 ✭✭Risingshadoo


    Things you expect to find? B.astards


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  • #61
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 2,032 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    An alleged "double" bed which, if placed by an upstairs window, will result in the death of one partner should the other roll over during the night.


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