Cost of funeral

Jayisplay · 17-04-2020 7:54pm #1

I just want to find out roughly the cost of a funeral in Dublin, my father passed away a few weeks ago in a nursing home from covid 19. Today we received the funeral bill and could not believe the price €8200. My mother died 2 and a half years ago. The difference being her funeral had a few funeral cars for the family, a mass in a church, music in the church, a book of condolences, embalming of her body and her name in the herald. My father had none of these just 10 family members at the grave for burial. And to add they both had the exact same coffin. Me and my sister's are very angry at this as my father did not get a proper send off yet we are been charged all this money. Forgot to mention my mother's cosymt €6900

Addle · 17-04-2020 8:21pm

Condolences OP.

Are your parents buried in the same plot?
I’d ask the undertaker for an itemized bill.

Jayisplay · 17-04-2020 11:58pm

It was actually eating at me so I just rang them today and they said it was a mistake , that no way was it that price so all is good thanks.

Mumm_ra · 18-04-2020 12:03am

Not really all good - in times of grieve some don't challenge. If you didn't have a benchmark would you have questioned it? I'd ask how the mistake happened.

Tork · 18-04-2020 1:24pm

Looking at this article from a few years ago https://www.thejournal.ie/funeral-costs-3036012-Oct2016/ , it would suggest that this shower of undertakers are doing very nicely for themselves. Prices can't have gone up that much in the meantime.

Purgative · 18-04-2020 7:08pm

Sorry for your loss Jayisplay. Stay safe and be kind to yourself.

costacorta · 18-04-2020 9:08pm

I was actually asking this question during week and thinking funerals should be half the price today that they were we say 2 months ago .. in cork out the county and our average funeral cost would be €8000 and that’s owning a grave . I know this as seen bill for my aunts funeral last September..

Jayisplay · 19-04-2020 12:45am

Mumm_ra wrote: »

Not really all good - in times of grieve some don't challenge. If you didn't have a benchmark would you have questioned it? I'd ask how the mistake happened.

Suppose so , if I didn’t have the bill from my mothers funeral we probably wouldn’t have been none the wiser.

Jayisplay · 19-04-2020 12:46am

Purgative wrote: »

Sorry for your loss Jayisplay. Stay safe and be kind to yourself.

Thank you , what makes it harder was not getting to say goodbye

costacorta · 19-04-2020 6:39am

Addle wrote: »

Condolences OP.

Are your parents buried in the same plot?
I’d ask the undertaker for an itemized bill.

From my little experience I think all funeral bills come itemised .

99nsr125 · 19-04-2020 6:43am

costacorta wrote: »

From my little experience I think all funeral bills come itemised .

As uncomfortable as it is I would really appreciate if someone could send me an itemized bill.

Metroid diorteM · 19-04-2020 6:45am

Where is the competition in this service? Who the eff has 8k to spare for anything?

costacorta · 19-04-2020 7:23am

Metroid diorteM wrote: »

Where is the competition in this service? Who the eff has 8k to spare for anything?

And if you need to buy a grave add another €1000 min to €1800 on top of that plus I see a lot of funerals nowadays come with being invited back fora meal afterwards so that would bring funeral bill to 15k ..

Trampas · 19-04-2020 2:53pm

costacorta wrote: »

I was actually asking this question during week and thinking funerals should be half the price today that they were we say 2 months ago .. in cork out the county and our average funeral cost would be €8000 and that’s owning a grave . I know this as seen bill for my aunts funeral last September..

Sorry for your lost OP. Why would they be half price? I cremated my father last week and bill was €6000 give or take a few quid

costacorta · 19-04-2020 3:35pm

Trampas wrote: »

Sorry for your lost OP. Why would they be half price? I cremated my father last week and bill was €6000 give or take a few quid

Firstly sorry for your loss also and reason I was thinking they be half the normal price is funerals are usually a 3 day or sometime 4?days work for undertakers from death to burial . Lately it’s burial day after death and no embalming, cleaning of body etc if Covid related .?. No use of funeral home for removal , no choir , sarcrasent or mass singers to pay . So I’d be disappointed if a funeral today that usually cost 8k would be more than 5k so maybe half was a bit much to be thinking..

Trampas · 19-04-2020 4:30pm

costacorta wrote: »

Firstly sorry for your loss also and reason I was thinking they be half the normal price is funerals are usually a 3 day or sometime 4?days work for undertakers from death to burial . Lately it’s burial day after death and no embalming, cleaning of body etc if Covid related .?. No use of funeral home for removal , no choir , sarcrasent or mass singers to pay . So I’d be disappointed if a funeral today that usually cost 8k would be more than 5k so maybe half was a bit much to be thinking..

Thanks. Undertakers only take over after the coroner has released the body. Then it would be normally get the body ready for next day usually and funeral next day. Only difference been embalming and getting ready for display. Other stuff is all extras on the bill. Remember the funeral home have extra costs now with buying protected clothing also to handle the body. So probably covers the cost of the stuff you don’t get so instead or changing prices they just charge same. Might make a few extra more but wouldn’t be making thousands

Church costs doesn’t cost that much and they’d be all marked down as extra costs.

salmocab · 19-04-2020 4:34pm

Trampas wrote: »

Sorry for your lost OP. Why would they be half price? I cremated my father last week and bill was €6000 give or take a few quid

My father in law was cremated a few weeks back and it cost 6000 too, although no mourning cars were done for covid related reasons.

olestoepoke · 19-04-2020 4:35pm

Natural burial grounds in Wexford cost around 950 for the plot, 200 for the hole to be dug and a cheap biodegradable cardboard coffin. Thats me in the hole for less than 1,500. Funerals are a rip off, they take advantage of a really tough time for a lot of people. I am not religious and would rather my family kept the 6k difference so it's down to wexford for me in the back of a van.

salmocab · 19-04-2020 4:44pm

olestoepoke wrote: »

Natural burial grounds in Wexford cost around 950 for the plot, 200 for the hole to be dug and a cheap biodegradable cardboard coffin. Thats me in the hole for less than 1,500. Funerals are a rip off, they take advantage of a really tough time for a lot of people. I am not religious and would rather my family kept the 6k difference so it's down to wexford for me in the back of a van.

The 6k is nothing to do with religion to be fair, in your scenario your family have to collect your corpse go out buy the coffin and organize having the hole dug, stick you in the back of the van then they all will want to traipse down to Wexford to make sure you go in the hole. I doubt they’d be that happy with you.

olestoepoke · 19-04-2020 4:49pm

salmocab wrote: »

The 6k is nothing to do with religion to be fair, in your scenario your family have to collect your corpse go out buy the coffin and organize having the hole dug, stick you in the back of the van then they all will want to traipse down to Wexford to make sure you go in the hole. I doubt they’d be that happy with you.

No not at all, I have it all arranged and paid for. My family do not have to organise anything. they go to wexford to say goodbye and then go home 6k richer. Lovely nature walk in gorgeous forest setting and a rock with my name on it and a tree planted beside me. No poisonous chemicals in my body so that I'm of some use to the flora and not a priest or greedy funeral director in sight.

Addle · 19-04-2020 4:51pm

How did you arrange that license?

salmocab · 19-04-2020 4:54pm

olestoepoke wrote: »

No not at all, I have it all arranged and paid for. My family do not have to organise anything. they go to wexford to say goodbye and then go home 6k richer. Lovely nature walk in gorgeous forest setting and a rock with my name on it and a tree planted beside me. No poisonous chemicals in my body so that I'm of some use to the flora and not a priest or greedy funeral director in sight.

First of all they don’t go home 6k richer unless you’ve organised cheques to be handed out. So you’ve paid for someone to collect your corpse already and stick it in a box and that’s all included in the 1500?

antix80 · 19-04-2020 4:57pm

Jayisplay wrote: »

It was actually eating at me so I just rang them today and they said it was a mistake , that no way was it that price so all is good thanks.

They sound like chancers but glad you got it resolved.

costacorta · 19-04-2020 4:59pm

salmocab wrote: »

My father in law was cremated a few weeks back and it cost 6000 too, although no mourning cars were done for covid related reasons.

Sorry for your loss ,, Is that what it would have cost before restrictions? €6k sounds cheap in today’s market. Maybe Dublin and Cork would be dearer for funerals as average without grave is €8k

olestoepoke · 19-04-2020 5:01pm

salmocab wrote: »

First of all they don’t go home 6k richer unless you’ve organised cheques to be handed out. So you’ve paid for someone to collect your corpse already and stick it in a box and that’s all included in the 1500?

Obviously they don't go home 6k richer, what I meant is that it's 6k more that I get to leave them so you are being facetious there. Regarding sticking it in a box , thats optional as you can now be buried without a coffin so great cheaper again. and yes I have everything arranged and it will all cost less that approx 1500. Why is it so hard for Irish people to get that there are options. They are opening a similar graveyard in Cork soon and Dublin won't be far behind id wager. If you are religious you can still use a natural burial ground, they cater for all.

splinter65 · 19-04-2020 5:06pm

olestoepoke wrote: »

No not at all, I have it all arranged and paid for. My family do not have to organise anything. they go to wexford to say goodbye and then go home 6k richer. Lovely nature walk in gorgeous forest setting and a rock with my name on it and a tree planted beside me. No poisonous chemicals in my body so that I'm of some use to the flora and not a priest or greedy funeral director in sight.

If you want a Roman Catholic funeral then you will have the priest probably come to your dying/dead loved one to administer Viaticum, often in the dead of night. You will then have the comfort of the priest come to the funeral home/house to say prayers as the coffin is closed and comfort the bereaved. Then if you remove the deceased to the church the night before the funeral you will have the priest there, the church will be clean and warm and lit, as it will the following day for the funeral mass which the priest will celebrate for your deceased loved one.
Then the priest will accompany the bereaved to the graveyard and officiate over the actual burial while continuing to comfort the bereaved.
For this the priest will ask for a donation of around €200. If you think this is either a rip off or extortionate then you should make enquiries about one of the independent celebrants and get a price from him/her?

salmocab · 19-04-2020 5:06pm

costacorta wrote: »

Sorry for your loss ,, Is that what it would have cost before restrictions? €6k sounds cheap in today’s market. Maybe Dublin and Cork would be dearer for funerals as average without grave is €8k

It’s Dublin, like I said no mourning cars but apart from that think it was all fairly standard, no church but I presume that would be paid separate anyway.

salmocab · 19-04-2020 5:12pm

olestoepoke wrote: »

Obviously they don't go home 6k richer, what I meant is that it's 6k more that I get to leave them so you are being facetious there. Regarding sticking it in a box , thats optional as you can now be buried without a coffin so great cheaper again. and yes I have everything arranged and it will all cost less that approx 1500. Why is it so hard for Irish people to get that there are options. They are opening a similar graveyard in Cork soon and Dublin won't be far behind id wager. If you are religious you can still use a natural burial ground, they cater for all.

Yes I was being facetious I thought that was obvious and didn’t need pointing out. I’m sceptical that you have organised payment and delivery of your coffin and have organised someone to collect your body put it in the box and transport it to Wexford for 350 euro. Maybe you have using mates or whatever but it sounds a bit cheap. The rest of the funeral sounds grand, personally I don’t care where I end up as I’ll be dead and very uninterested at that stage.

olestoepoke · 19-04-2020 5:30pm

splinter65 wrote: »

If you want a Roman Catholic funeral then you will have the priest probably come to your dying/dead loved one to administer Viaticum, often in the dead of night. You will then have the comfort of the priest come to the funeral home/house to say prayers as the coffin is closed and comfort the bereaved. Then if you remove the deceased to the church the night before the funeral you will have the priest there, the church will be clean and warm and lit, as it will the following day for the funeral mass which the priest will celebrate for your deceased loved one.
Then the priest will accompany the bereaved to the graveyard and officiate over the actual burial while continuing to comfort the bereaved.
For this the priest will ask for a donation of around €200. If you think this is either a rip off or extortionate then you should make enquiries about one of the independent celebrants and get a price from him/her?

There will be no priest present at any stage so no need to pay €200. I am not religious.

olestoepoke · 19-04-2020 5:33pm

Addle wrote: »

How did you arrange that license?

What licence?

Tork · 19-04-2020 5:37pm

I know about the ground settling bit but it doesn't take away from the pressure to have the headstone up less than a year after being bereaved and hit with a big bill. The first anniversary is a milestone in many ways but I just wish the pressure to get the grave sorted by then wasn't there.

olestoepoke · 19-04-2020 5:40pm

salmocab wrote: »

Yes I was being facetious I thought that was obvious and didn’t need pointing out. I’m sceptical that you have organised payment and delivery of your coffin and have organised someone to collect your body put it in the box and transport it to Wexford for 350 euro. Maybe you have using mates or whatever but it sounds a bit cheap. The rest of the funeral sounds grand, personally I don’t care where I end up as I’ll be dead and very uninterested at that stage.

Yeah thats the point, you won't care and me personally I;'d rather my family had a nice holiday with the money that is saved. Funeral directors have you over a barrel, what can you do? not bury your loved one. My mother in law died 5 years ago and I watch my wife and her sisters grieve and bemoan if they cant get to the grave every Sunday, Now I appreciate we all have our own personal ways of grieving but I want my family to get on with their lives and visit me once or twice a year. The pictures of the natural burial grounds look beautiful, a really nice place to visit. Regarding transport, it doesn't matter put me in the boot of the car if you have to lol. No to be serious I have lots of family members that have transport and if someone didn't I'm sure its easy enough to pay someone. I do not believe in any organised religion so have no problem going without a priest, in face will be happier if one weren't around. And as of 2013 it is legal to bury a person without a coffin. You can also rent a coffin or buy one on amazon for a fraction of the price that the funeral directors charge. I will dies with a smile knowing they aren't ripping my family off when I'm gone.

splinter65 · 19-04-2020 5:43pm

olestoepoke wrote: »

There will be no priest present at any stage so no need to pay €200. I am not religious.

My point was that it’s not correct to appoint anymore then a couple of 100 euro out of the entire cost of the funeral/wake to the religious aspect of it. People spend more on flowers, so why not mention the florist instead of the priest?

olestoepoke · 19-04-2020 5:45pm

splinter65 wrote: »

My point was that it’s not correct to appoint anymore then a couple of 100 euro out of the entire cost of the funeral/wake to the religious aspect of it. People spend more on flowers, so why not mention the florist instead of the priest?

Oh ok, yeh thats personal preference, the natural burial grounds guys will plant a tree for an extra cost which I personally think is a lot nicer than flowers. And the Catholic Church charges €400 now, massive increase. https://www.irishtimes.com/news/social-affairs/religion-and-beliefs/dublin-church-funeral-fees-to-rise-by-23-from-january-1.4065173

Rows Grower · 19-04-2020 5:46pm

Having signed up to WhatsApp a month ago, I've discovered and I've decided this is the way I want to go, I'll drop a few grand on this when the time is right if I have a bit of notice...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EroOICwfD3g

olestoepoke · 19-04-2020 5:48pm

Rows Grower wrote: »

Having signed up to WhatsApp a month ago, I've discovered and I've decided this is the way I want to go, I'll drop a few grand on this when the time is right if I have a bit of notice...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EroOICwfD3g

love it ha ha ha

19-04-2020 6:04pm

markc1184 wrote: »

My mothers funeral was last October in Drogheda, plot already owned and previously used. For the undertakers fees, coffin and accessories, gravedigger, church fees, musician, the afters and I'm sure I'm missing out on some, there was a few €'s change out of €6k.

Sorry about the bad news there.

Hope you're keeping well.

Can I ask which undertaker that was? I presume Townley?

markc1184 · 19-04-2020 6:05pm

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Sorry about the bad news there. Hope you're keeping well.

Can I ask which undertaker that was? I presume Townley?

All good thanks, KKV. Yeah it was Townleys we used.

maestroamado · 19-04-2020 6:28pm

olestoepoke wrote: »

Natural burial grounds in Wexford cost around 950 for the plot, 200 for the hole to be dug and a cheap biodegradable cardboard coffin. Thats me in the hole for less than 1,500. Funerals are a rip off, they take advantage of a really tough time for a lot of people. I am not religious and would rather my family kept the 6k difference so it's down to wexford for me in the back of a van.

I'd love to meet you "way up yonder" but the undertaker/priest are part of the game.

"and he's buying a stairway to heaven"

Tork · 19-04-2020 6:30pm

hayser wrote: »

I'm so sorry for your loss. A lot of people might not realise but if a loved one was a member of a credit union or part of a union during their working years, they may be entitled to a death benefit. It can really help at times like these.

This is definitely worth checking out, though some of the credit unions seem to be pulling back from this. Our local one has watered theirs down considerably.

There can be a bit of help in certain circumstances https://www.citizensinformation.ie/en/social_welfare/social_welfare_payments/death_related_benefits/benefits_and_entitlements_following_a_death.html but it's not going to help most people.

splinter65 · 19-04-2020 6:41pm

Tork wrote: »

This is definitely worth checking out, though some of the credit unions seem to be pulling back from this. Our local one has watered theirs down considerably.

There can be a bit of help in certain circumstances https://www.citizensinformation.ie/en/social_welfare/social_welfare_payments/death_related_benefits/benefits_and_entitlements_following_a_death.html but it's not going to help most people.

Ours never did this.

splinter65 · 19-04-2020 6:44pm

olestoepoke wrote: »

Oh ok, yeh thats personal preference, the natural burial grounds guys will plant a tree for an extra cost which I personally think is a lot nicer than flowers. And the Catholic Church charges €400 now, massive increase. https://www.irishtimes.com/news/social-affairs/religion-and-beliefs/dublin-church-funeral-fees-to-rise-by-23-from-january-1.4065173

Thats in Dublin where costs are much higher.
Once again you should price a celebrant and a function venue and see if you can get both for €400? I seriously doubt it.
Our cathedral asks for €250.

19-04-2020 6:49pm

splinter65 wrote: »

In small town Ireland in the circumstances you describe...

Very helpful reply, thanks a lot, man. Can I ask, in terms of caskets and such, how does it work? Do they try to up-sell you, or do they leave a booklet with you (assuming they work from a brochure and not a viewing room) and you give them a shout and let them know? Or is it a 'need to know now, hurry it up, you know they would have wanted the best' kind of pressure sales pitch?

(or is that just one of those things that varies from place to place?)

olestoepoke · 19-04-2020 6:50pm

splinter65 wrote: »

Thats in Dublin where costs are much higher.
Once again you should price a celebrant and a function venue and see if you can get both for €400? I seriously doubt it.
Our cathedral asks for €250.

Wont be giving the church a penny on principle. I'm a non-believer so no need for such extravagance.

maestroamado · 19-04-2020 6:58pm

splinter65 wrote: »

In small town Ireland in the circumstances you describe the Gardaí will indeed recommend undertakers to you and if you’re too upset they will ring one for you who will then pitch up and take over and lead you through the options available to you.
They will organise everything for you according to your wishes within reason. You will be asked to pick a coffin/casket, sometimes from a brochure sometimes in an viewing room. Somethings you ask for might not be possible. For example if you choose a Catholic or other religious funeral then you will have to adhere to the conditions imposed therein. This can cause issues. The funeral mass is a public event in normal times. You won’t have exclusive use of the church. The liturgy of the mass cannot be usurped by your wishes.
In other words your loved ones funeral just happens to be part of the mass. You can’t take away any bits of the mass or add in any bits that wouldn’t be appropriate.
This includes music. The priest can and will veto songs or performances he considers inappropriate during the mass.
Don’t forget you can have these performances stories poems or songs to your hearts content either at home in the funeral home or in the graveyard.

You don’t have to organise anything to do with the grave digging/opening/booking crematorium as the undertaker will do all that.
The undertaker will transport your loved one to and from the PM if there is one.
You might be asked to pick out clothes for your loved one to be buried in.
The undertaker will organise flowers but you can get your own or have none if you like.

I think the thread mentioned cost?
Surely rural Ireland needs money... How much all this cost?
Thanks and God Bless you prob not enough...

splinter65 · 19-04-2020 7:09pm

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Very helpful reply, thanks a lot, man. Can I ask, in terms of caskets and such, how does it work? Do they try to up-sell you, or do they leave a booklet with you (assuming they work from a brochure and not a viewing room) and you give them a shout and let them know? Or is it a 'need to know now, hurry it up, you know they would have wanted the best' kind of pressure sales pitch?

(or is that just one of those things that varies from place to place?)

Every undertaker has a cheapo coffin a mid priced and a deluxe top of the range model. You’ll be too embarrassed to pick the cheap one and your sister who’s on the dole for 30 years will want the deluxe one even though she’ll plead poverty when the bill arrives so you’ll pick the middle of the road one.

splinter65 · 19-04-2020 7:16pm

olestoepoke wrote: »

Wont be giving the church a penny on principle. I'm a non-believer so no need for such extravagance.

You don’t have to have the church at all. Most people still do mostly because they want there to be a structure to the proceedings surrounding the funeral of their loved one and in Ireland a church centred ceremony provides that kind of purpose. €250 for the amount of attention and time the family get is certainly not an extravagance.

olestoepoke · 19-04-2020 7:21pm

splinter65 wrote: »

You don’t have to have the church at all. Most people still do mostly because they want there to be a structure to the proceedings surrounding the funeral of their loved one and in Ireland a church centred ceremony provides that kind of purpose. €250 for the amount of attention and time the family get is certainly not an extravagance.

I am an atheist so why would I pay for a priest or a church?

19-04-2020 7:24pm

olestoepoke wrote: »

I am an atheist so why would I pay for a priest or a church?

I'm atheist, too. However, if I end up using their buildings or services, I would pay for the use of them.

olestoepoke · 19-04-2020 7:27pm

Deleted User wrote: »

I'm atheist, too. However, if I end up using their buildings or services, I would pay for the use of them.

Why would you need to use any buildings except you own living room?

splinter65 · 19-04-2020 7:44pm

olestoepoke wrote: »

I am an atheist so why would I pay for a priest or a church?

You classed the priest as an “extravagance” in an earlier post. You brought religion into the thread. The way some atheists are inclined to do....
I’ve been making the argument that he’s not an extravagance. No one is suggesting that you would want a priest. You’ve told us 3 or 4 times now that you’re an atheist, the way some atheists are inclined to do.....

Cost of funeral

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