A Thread for those who are in Lockdown completely alone, i.e. Nobody else with you

Tokyo · 17-04-2020 04:33AM #1

I came across a similar thread elsewhere, and I noticed that there are quite a few general threads on Boards for people in lockdown and what they are doing to get through this, but I didn’t see anything for those who are currently in lockdown alone. No spouse, roommate, parent, child, no other person living (or most likely, visiting) in your home. Pets, yes... or maybe no pets either?

What is this like for you? Do you have any kind of self/other-imposed routine/schedule? What are you cooking/eating? How's your sleep? Financial worries? Health worries besides CV)? How are you staying in touch and who are those people (in general)? What's the hardest/easiest thing about this lockdown?

My case is a little bit different in that I’m not only in lockdown alone, I’m also a few thousand km away from everybody I know, which adds another layer to the situation. So far, no one has set foot in my apartment since about three weeks ago, and because I was in quarantine rather than lockdown, I wasn’t allowed to leave, even for essential items.

In terms of keeping busy, I tried to take a more positive slant on the situation. I don't have a lot of nothing-to-do time - I have an exercise routine for each day that I’m building up towards a goal (I can probably do more sit-ups now than ever before in my life), I read a lot, and study online. I’ve also started cooking a lot. Podcasts are also my friend.

In terms of concerns, I tend not to worry too much about it. Communication with home is sporadic, so of course my family are of concern to me. Living in what is effectively a third world country means that access to any sort of decent medical services is non-existent, so if I do fall ill, it's in the hands of the Gods as to what the outcome will be. But as it's out of my hands, there isn’t much point in worrying about that.

How about you other live-aloners? How are you doing?

Polar101 · 17-04-2020 05:43AM

Living alone, and no pets. I've lived in Dublin for 15 years, but am from another EU country originally.

At first, it was horrible - I felt really depressed and anxious, and had lots of trouble sleeping. Eventually I developed a routine, I'm still working (remotely now) so obviously that helps with having something to do. After work I've started to go for a nice 45 minute walk, which really lifts my spirits. Now I feel like I can continue this indefinitely. Sometimes I feel worse, but no longer overwhelmingly so.

There are a lot of things that worry me, for example, both my parents were admitted to hospital (not Covid-19) this week and obviously there's not much I can do about it, since I wouldn't be able to visit them in the hospital even if I could travel home. But now I just feel since I can't do anything about it, I'll just keep going as "normal".

I'm not very social anyway, so being alone isn't a problem. It can get boring when you can't go "anywhere" other than the supermarket or a walk, but it is what it is. Some people have it worse, some people have it better, but most people are affected somehow.

minikin · 17-04-2020 05:43AM

Eh, that corona virus thing finished two weeks ago, nobody told you?

In all sincerity though, hope you're doing ok - are you finding the physical isolation challenging from a psychological perspective ?

CelticRambler · 17-04-2020 06:54AM

It's a case of "business as usual" for me. Cats, wife and children all grown up and gone several years now, so when I'm not working away (which is the only form of paid work I do) there's just me and the wildlife to share the days in my rural home. Nearest neighbours died two years ago, but they were only summer visitors anyway ...

It's a bit of a joke in the family at the moment that I'm the only one whose rhythm life hasn't changed at all. That's not entirely true, as I'd usually drop in on a couple of friends in the area when I get back from my stints away, but I was working in Alsace until the end of March, and the friends would all fall into the "at risk" category so I decided not to call over, just in case I'd brought anything back with me.

But since the 4th April, and excluding one shopping trip, I've seen (spoken to) a grand total of one person in real life .. and haven't felt the time pass at all! Up in the morning, out into the garden, digging, planting, mowing, weeding, watering, building, demolishing, moving, tidying, walk round in circles looking at a problem thinking about how (and when) to solve it.

I'll grab a bit of lunch sometime between 1pm and 6pm; then come in to make/eat dinner around 9. Usually make enough for three meals so that I don't have to do the complete works every night, and will take advantage of less pleasant weather - or being forced to stay close to the front door waiting for a delivery - to think about/prepare recipes for later use.

The family are where they always have been - at the other end of a WhatsApp chat. I've spent a fair bit of this week helping SonNo.2 with a final-year uni assignment; been chatting with DtrNo.2 about lambing, caesarians and why humans take so long to walk; been talking to the siblings about cancelled holidays, and to my mother about our respective gardening projects ...

So all-in-all, "just another year" to misquote Johnny Logan. Now, I think those fifteen drops were all the rain we're going to get today, so time to attack today's project: make two planters for the courtyard.

17-04-2020 07:05AM

Living on own but it's better than if I was sharing an apartment. I'm working from home so my day between 8.30 and 5 so pretty well defined. Otherwise I make sure to get a minimum of an hours exercise each day. Then a mixture of gaming and watching movies /tv.

Have existing health issues that have become active during this though. So that's most difficult aspect. Would be nice if I had a garden but I'm in a suburb at least that's pretty nice.

One thing I wish I had was a dog, I don't find the lack of people that difficult.

manonboard · 17-04-2020 07:07AM

Deleted User wrote: »

Have existing health issues that have become active during this though. So that's most difficult aspect. Would be nice if I had a garden but I'm in a suburb at least that's pretty nice.

Hope you and your health issues improve soon. Im sure its scary and difficult having them flare up right. Virtual hug!

Badly Drunk Boy · 17-04-2020 07:34AM

I'm not exactly in lockdown but I'm living alone. I can do a certain amount to work from home, but there's a certain amount that I have to be physically present so I'm usually doing 4 hours in work, and the rest from home. I work in one of the manufacturing areas that has been deemed 'essential' so we're continuing on making stuff. Also, work is just less than 2km away so it's no big deal.

I've been coping fine by myself because I live a relatively solitary life anyway. I know that I'm not making the most of it because I know that there are more productive things I could be doing around the house and garden, but I manage to make excuses to myself. I think it would be different if going to work wasn't in the mix since that means that there's more preparation for going out, and then winding down when I get back (or even just cooling down from the cycle home). I know I'm going to regret the lack of productivity when things start to get more normal.

The main difference has been not calling in to the family home (which is half-way between my house and work) or meeting up with my brother to go shopping or even just for a drive. Apart from that, I've just been going to the local shop the odd time (might as well support them, even if it costs a bit extra but also, it's nice avoiding the queuing). I was in the local Spar yesterday for the first time this week, and there were two young lads at the ATM and a girl in the off-licence part, the quietest I've ever seen it.

Overall I'm fine, although obviously worried in case this thing affects anyone I know.

suicide_circus · 17-04-2020 07:49AM

An older poster who was a very frequent contributor, Graces07, hasn't poster in a month now, I think she lives alone...so that's worrying. Her last post was this;

https://www.boards.ie/ttfpost/112829446

Tokyo · 17-04-2020 08:18AM

suicide_circus wrote: »

An older poster who was a very frequent contributor, Graces07, hasn't poster in a month now, I think she lives alone...so that's worrying. Her last post was this;

https://www.boards.ie/ttfpost/112829446

She posted in her blog three days ago.

Hoof_Hearted · 17-04-2020 08:30AM

CelticRambler wrote: »

... planting, mowing, weeding, watering, building, demolishing, moving, tidying, walk round in circles ...

Thanks for the laugh, this is one of my new hobbies it seems, but of a more aimless variety!
I live alone and I'm well used to it so it's business as usual for me. I've a lot of interests, gardening, sewing, drawing, painting, reading, and a few nixers, so I feel lucky in that regard. Lovely neighbours so I have a chat often, family are far away so we video chat. I feel concerned and sad at times about it all, and a fair bit of optimism at what the good outcome will be, because there surely will be some good.
Nice thread!

Tokyo · 17-04-2020 08:32AM

minikin wrote: »

In all sincerity though, hope you're doing ok - are you finding the physical isolation challenging from a psychological perspective ?

Yep, all good, thank you.

The physical isolation isn't particularly challenging - I usually spend substantial lengths of time alone - mountains, travelling and so on. And the time is easily filled with other challenges.

The restriction on being able to physically do things is more difficult - I like to get out and about and usually cycle or box or do something on a daily basis, and that's probably what I miss most.

CelticRambler · 17-04-2020 09:03AM

Badly Drunk Boy wrote: »

I know that there are more productive things I could be doing around the house and garden, but I manage to make excuses to myself. I think it would be different if going to work wasn't in the mix since that means that there's more preparation for going out, and then winding down when I get back (or even just cooling down from the cycle home). I know I'm going to regret the lack of productivity when things start to get more normal.

That's something I can identify with, but I've learnt not to regret the "wasted" time. Instead, I've adjusted my ambitions for what I can get reasonably get done, knowing that there'll be a day or two lost to re-adjustment when I get home after a contract (usually have a 600km "commute" to recover from).

That's where the walking round in circles comes in!

Part de-stressing, part planning. Depending on the weather, the time available and what equipment/materials I've got to hand, I try to only get started on a project that I know I can finish, or the self-contained stage of a longer project that needs to be left alone, e.g. a slab of concrete that needs to cure, or a tray of seeds that need to germinate.

I find that being able to draw a line under something like that makes it easier to enjoy the post-work recovery phase, even if (to an outsider) I've done "nothing" for two days.

But also, I've learnt to not worry about "walking off the job" if my heart's not in it, even if it was one of the big things on my To Do list. There were so many times I messed up what I was doing by battling on, just to get it finished, and ended up wasting even more hours/days because of that.

mike_ie wrote: »

The restriction on being able to physically do things is more difficult - I like to get out and about and usually cycle or box or do something on a daily basis, and that's probably what I miss most.

Yeah, that's the one thing I am missing at the moment. After a lot of physical work during the day/week, my physiotherapy of choice is dancing and that's obviously a definite no-no for the foreseeable future. I can lep around the kitchen on my own, but it's just not the same as swinging a partner 'round the dancefloor ...

Now I've a load of timber to cut and plane; where's this fekkin deliveryman? :mad:

richie_os · 17-04-2020 09:33AM

Hope you're all dealing with the isolation okay, good to read stories of people in the same boat.

I'm currently living in a tiny flat, more like a small/medium sized double bedroom with a cooker in the corner. It's been quite a challenge as I tend to be quite a social person. Generally i'd get out for a bit of exercise once a day, and work out on a mat here too.

The biggest challenge has been being away from my partner. Prior to the 2km rule, she was the only person I had seen since the 13th of March, but as she lives 16km away, we can't see eachother now even though we have been very strict in our precautions and social distancing. I think this is one example of where the 2km rule doesn't make sense, and I hope it's one of the first restrictions lifted on the 5th May. We are also on the brink of moving in together so very frustrating.

My parents also live in Cork, and my Mother was rushed to hospital on Monday in quite serious condition, and is over 70 (not Covid) and my 73 year old father had to drive her, but wasn't allowed into the hospital. It was a new level of frustration to be stuck in this flat knowing she was a 2 hour drive away, locked away into a hospital, and not being able to move a muscle.

I have adhered strictly to the restrictions and am glad improvements are being seen. At this point I don't care if everything else stays in place as long as they remove the 2km rule.

_Kaiser_ · 17-04-2020 11:57AM

I am in the opposite position myself at the moment.

I usually live alone but I've been living elsewhere for just over a month and I'm hoping that I'll be able to get home or at least move more freely between locations soon.

From a purely practical level I'm concerned about the security of my place and my stuff (although I can still remote into my plex server so it's all OK at the moment), but it's been a while and quite an adjustment going from living alone to sharing a place with no real "me time" at all. I've lived with people before without any problems but I would say there's a lot of people struggling without the usual outlets of work/school/friends to get them away from each other too.

In normal circumstances though I would have no issue working from home, watching telly or gaming with the lads, doing the bit of running around etc on my own.

FloatingVoter · 19-04-2020 04:32PM

Same here. Completely isolated. Back to drinking heavily. I take s lot of naps and crash out on the armchair. Running out of relatives to ring (try toggling the two I can over a week :rolleyes:).
I have discovered that when in a crisis you discover who your friends are. Sum total here is zero.
I neither like nor care for humans anymore. Faking it is a ****ing misery.

Thanks for the thread, though.

speckle · 19-04-2020 04:43PM

FloatingVoter wrote: »

Same here. Completely isolated. Back to drinking heavily. I take s lot of naps and crash out on the armchair. Running out of relatives to ring (try toggling the two I can over a week :rolleyes:).
I have discovered that when in a crisis you discover who your friends are. Sum total here is zero.
I neither like nor care for humans anymore. Faking it is a ****ing misery.

Thanks for the thread, though.

agree no point in faking it.
keep yourself well. maybe look at the friend lost thing as making room for new ones the other side of this virus thingy.
goodluck and if feeling crap post here or on the mental health covid thread. Dont let the virus win by getting you to drink yourself silly.

Ficheall · 19-04-2020 05:15PM

FloatingVoter wrote: »

I have discovered that when in a crisis you discover who your friends are. Sum total here is zero.

Not sure about that - I've recently been chatting to people who I've not spoken to in four or five years - not because they miss me tremendously and are concerned about me, but because they now have little else to be doing. If/When this lifts, we'll drop out of communication again.
Similarly, Tinder matches are up - people are very bored.

CelticRambler · 19-04-2020 08:00PM

FloatingVoter wrote: »

Back to drinking heavily. I take s lot of naps and crash out on the armchair. Running out of relatives to ring

It's easier to say than to do, but see if you can come up with something that you can learn that doesn't need a huge team behind you. It doesn't have to be anything that'll change the face of humanity or fast-track your next promotion, just something that'll give you a sense of achievement, step-by-step. Play the tin whistle, or speak Italian, or cook potatoes in a new way, or build a lego robot ... and log onto a website (or the relevant subforum of boards.ie) where you can start interacting with new people.

ShineOn7 · 19-04-2020 08:44PM

I'm not completely alone but for those of you who are, remember you have a huge advantage: you can completely control the safety and hygiene of your environment and surroundings

This is a big plus to have right now

19-04-2020 09:10PM

Well.. I came home for a short holiday in January, thinking I'd be home for three weeks, and I've been here since. It wasn't so bad in the beginning. Family were around, plenty of food and such to rediscover, etc but after a month of that, meh. The real issue is that I don't really know people in my hometown anymore. I've lived abroad for over a decade, and even before that, I lived in places other than my hometown. I'm also pretty awful at keeping in touch with people who aren't in the same town/city as me.

I was living with my parents in their house, but we decided that it would be safer for them to move to another house to cocoon. Since then (6 weeks now), I've been alone in the house.

Started fine. Kept the place tidy, got up early each day, and did everything I should have been doing. However, that's been sliding for some time now, and I'm pretty much a slob right now. Experiencing bouts of depression, and mood swings. Incredibly bored, and annoyed with myself. I know that there's things I should be doing, but no motivation to do them. All my plans are on hold, which is frustrating.

Really missing the opportunity to talk to other people. Not on the phone or the internet. I have 16 hours of online classes that I lecture/teach but that's not really helping much. I speak to my family/friends regularly but I'm missing being in the presence of another person. Also horny as hell.

I know I'll be ok. I know myself and my limits so I'll work through everything but it's not a good period in my life.

Erranged · 02-09-2020 06:20PM

Meeting strangers on the street is more exciting than meeting someone online

nj27 · 02-09-2020 07:15PM

Arguing in the street is more fun than online too

Beasty · 02-09-2020 08:52PM

Threads merged

Graces7 · 03-09-2020 07:25AM

suicide_circus wrote: »

An older poster who was a very frequent contributor, Graces07, hasn't poster in a month now, I think she lives alone...so that's worrying. Her last post was this;

https://www.boards.ie/ttfpost/112829446

I am here; I have ongoing health issues that are nothing to do with covid and am taking "time out" as I need to.

I have been here on "weather" etc. But not like I was a year ago.

Please never worry. Solitude is my chosen life style. I have M.E to a disabling degree and it limits me. Also with no working immune system I am permanently... cocooned.. I keep my weblog going.

So this has made no difference to my physical life. My supplies were already sorted, and if anything, I get more community support and awareness.

And this secluded place is so lovely and so peaceful.

Yes there is stress; for loved ones out there.

The internet is a life line in so many ways. Contact with loved ones is easy. Films etc.

This is going to be a long struggle and it must be so hard for so many. Be easy on you! Aching for those who are finding it very hard. I have been alone so many years and it took me many years to get used to it. But being nearer 80 than 70 "helps" as each day is precious now.

PS I sorted ESB! Sent them a large payment... Heard nothing since. lol...

_Kaiser_ · 03-09-2020 07:35AM

_Kaiser_ wrote: »

I am in the opposite position myself at the moment.

I usually live alone but I've been living elsewhere for just over a month and I'm hoping that I'll be able to get home or at least move more freely between locations soon.

From a purely practical level I'm concerned about the security of my place and my stuff (although I can still remote into my plex server so it's all OK at the moment), but it's been a while and quite an adjustment going from living alone to sharing a place with no real "me time" at all. I've lived with people before without any problems but I would say there's a lot of people struggling without the usual outlets of work/school/friends to get them away from each other too.

In normal circumstances though I would have no issue working from home, watching telly or gaming with the lads, doing the bit of running around etc on my own.

So, seeing as this thread has come up again - might as well provide an update

Came home late May and have been here since then.

I've been WFH since the start of this whole thing and it's looking like this will continue indefinitely as the office considers how to bring people back safely and who really needs to come back. CV-19 has accelerated the thinking/idea of WFH as a regular thing in the organisation about 20 years.

From my perspective I'm just as/even more productive here than I am in an office - no commute (and thus not getting home after 7pm knackered), no distractions (although I know this is rare unless you live alone as I do), far greater flexibility, and I can pretty much work from anywhere if I have a phone and laptop.

I reckon I'll probably drop into one of the offices maybe once/twice a month (as I've been doing since I got back). More so because some things are easier face to face. I don't miss any "social" aspect at all, mostly because there wasn't any to begin with. When you deal mainly with offshore staff and don't have any local staff reporting to you (or that you report to), you don't really get involved in any office groups.

But from a social perspective, myself and the core group of friends I have chat daily over IM/phone, have met up a few times, and a bit of online gaming and Discord banter with the lads a few times a week is all good. I also chat daily with my son over Whatsapp and as he's gotten into games too, we can do that online together as well. Because his mother is extremely cautious when it comes to CV-19 (I'd say over-cautious but that's a different topic!) I have been down there only a few times for a "socially distanced" visit.

On the whole though, I'm pretty happy. What I'm saving in diesel and other random workday expenses has gone into a few treats for me (and the little lad) , and I'm next planning to get a necessary medical procedure sorted, after which the extra cash (assuming all continues to go well with my employer) will be funnelled into saving for a deposit. It'll be harder being on my own, but I'm hoping that I'll have enough to get somewhere in the next 18 months/2 years.

Irish Aris · 03-09-2020 10:18AM

I missed this thread the first time - Mike, thank you for creating it.

I also live on my own. For me it has been very difficult, as it meant a complete change in my lifestyle.
I didn't have a commute to go to work (a 10 minute walk) and I was part of a big office, with more than 150 people. Although I am part of a global team and report to a manager in US, I was involved in the social aspect of the office, even if it was a chit chat with the people around me or going together for our lunch or coffee break. At the moment my employer targets a reopening of the office middle October, but at a very limited capacity - only if you really have to or maybe 1 day a week. I don't expect to be the first one back as I don't work directly with anyone in the office and can continue working from home efficiently. I have mixed feelings about (not) going back to the office. On the one hand I miss the social aspect - on the other hand chances are I would have to wear a mask if I'd go - I am not a big fan of them and I'm not sure I would be able to wear in for prolonged periods of time - I have tested my limits to being around 2 hours - after that I start getting a headache and gastric acid.

I also lost all my social outlets. I go very frequently to the cinema and theatre and attend on average 2 music concerts a month - all of them gone. Cinema being back now was very welcoming, and I have already gone twice.
I also play table tennis - at the moment though the club is closed as the owner/coach (who's also my best friend) is trying to figure out the best business model for the new circumstances.

For me the hardest was the 2k/5k/20k restrictions. It meant I couldn't see and talk to anyone. Some days were really hard - loneliness really kicking in. It was a good thing that work kept me busy and I made sure to go out for 1-2 walks in my estate and get fresh air. Like everyone else I used technology to interact with my friends, mainly video calls - it was a decent substitute but for me nothing can beat the human/personal interaction. I have to say boards really helped during the lockdown: I got very active in the Forum Games where there are so many great competitions happening.

Since the travel restrictions were lifted things got better. I was able to go to Dublin and meet with my friends. We took advantage of the good weather and visited parks and enjoyed the sunshine - and also visited a few restaurants for dinner and a couple of drinks.

I think winter with the long nights will be a bit tougher. I have planned to go and visit my family in Greece later this month during my holidays. I haven't seen them since last Christmas - and I have in the back of my head that some restrictions might return and I might not be able to visit for Christmas - hopefully though everything will go well. They are both over 70 so I will devise a plan on how to safely interact with them and not put them in any risk.

I wish for all of you to be well and safe - and enjoy your life as best as you can

speckle · 15-10-2020 03:52PM

hope all here living alone doing well. This thread might be needed mire than ever over the coming weeks.

YellowLead · 15-10-2020 04:08PM

I’m finding it very difficult I have to say. I became single in January but was never lonely initially as I was in work/at dinner/having drinks/ going for walks with other people all the time. I don’t have any friends living nearby and I have been working from home since March. So sympathise with everyone in the same boat!

DaSilva · 15-10-2020 04:41PM

Same boat here, finding it very frustrating. Living alone and working from home. This year has basically felt like one long working week and its all a blur since nothing in my personal life has happened, a lost year.

Mr rebel · 15-10-2020 04:58PM

DaSilva wrote: »

Same boat here, finding it very frustrating. Living alone and working from home. This year has basically felt like one long working week and its all a blur since nothing in my personal life has happened, a lost year.

Yeah I know exactly what you mean here. I’ve gotten to the point where even talking to friends online/messaging has become a bit of an effort now as there is just nothing to talk about. We are all living the most mundane lives now.

Harry Palmr · 15-10-2020 05:23PM

Lonesome here as well, it's pretty easy to manage as a singleton it must be said. I work outside in gardening environments which also helps. Only socialising is with my sisters family once a week typically and they are very careful as well, working from home etc.

Of course technically if I go over now I'm breaking the rules and yet we're effectively a two part bubble.

A Thread for those who are in Lockdown completely alone, i.e. Nobody else with you

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