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Walter Mitty thread

  • 25-02-2020 08:35PM
    #1
    Ubbquittious
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,371 ✭✭✭


    Since the topic of Walter Mitties recently came up on this forum I began to ponder my own real life experiences with them. There is one fella who stands out


    I was working for a place and this feen was about to become a customer and he ran a small healthy food business. We landed up to his office and sure enough he started rambling on. Claimed he was an ex-garda detective, glock at home he 'still had to hand back'. He had a picture of himself with some famous Irish criminal walking out of the high court which we never got to see


    He said he had a boat. An very poor quality grainy pixelated picture showing a boat maybe 12-15m long adorned the wall next to his desk. He invited me along to France on it (never happened, as you can imagine). The daftest thing of all he came out with was that he was out in his boat one day close to the harbour and he saw two lads trying to steal an outboard engine and his response was to pull his own boat alongside theirs without them noticing and dropped his fcuking anchor through it - a scene that could only have come out of a cartoon.


    He never paid a penny for what he signed up for, never paid his landlord a penny and in a few months he was gone.


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Comments

  • #2
    ILoveYourVibes
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,584 ✭✭✭✭ILoveYourVibes


    I went to an exercise class with an English girl who said her name was Juliette Montague. I kind of looked at her and went ' oh that's funny'. She went 'most people think i am french or something ' no reference to 'Yes my name is a Shakespearean icon'.

    She then said she earned her living by playing piano for ballet classes.

    I was still believing everything she said at this stage.

    She then said she was embarrassed to show her legs because of her 'scar' and she showed me but i couldn't see anything.

    I still believed EVERYTHING she said.

    She told me she and her partner had a house in switzerland and in the UK (which i believed because she was british and had a upper class english accent). He had been a diplomat and was now a banker.

    Then she asked if i wanted to go to her place once for lunch or something. I did it was a tiny bedsit. And it wasn't well kept.

    I didn't think anything less of her. I kept in touch until she stopped talking to me. She never had any money. And sometimes she looked ill.

    I think in her case it was more illness though than nastiness.

    A guy who i went to college with. He used come up with crazy stories. Some i couldn't understand. He claimed to have started this catering business with a friend who was having spiritual Revelations. Then he asked me to be his 'spiritual guru'. He would text me saying he was having mild panic attacks and that he needed my guidance. The catering business etc ..it was all a lie.


  • #3
    the purple tin
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,943 ✭✭✭✭the purple tin


    Ubbquittious wrote: »
    Since the topic of Walter Mitties recently came up on this forum I began to ponder my own real life experiences with them. There is one fella who stands out


    I was working for a place and this feen was about to become a customer and he ran a small healthy food business. We landed up to his office and sure enough he started rambling on. Claimed he was an ex-garda detective, glock at home he 'still had to hand back'. He had a picture of himself with some famous Irish criminal walking out of the high court which we never got to see


    He said he had a boat. An very poor quality grainy pixelated picture showing a boat maybe 12-15m long adorned the wall next to his desk. He invited me along to France on it (never happened, as you can imagine). The daftest thing of all he came out with was that he was out in his boat one day close to the harbour and he saw two lads trying to steal an outboard engine and his response was to pull his own boat alongside theirs without them noticing and dropped his fcuking anchor through it - a scene that could only have come out of a cartoon.


    He never paid a penny for what he signed up for, never paid his landlord a penny and in a few months he was gone.


    Your buddy must have been watching Caddyshack the night before :D
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MVL4wKnpx2U


  • #4
    Bigbagofcans
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,164 ✭✭✭Bigbagofcans


    The wonders of Mr Von Bismarck.


  • #5
    Hande hoche!
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,967 ✭✭✭Hande hoche!


    The Illuminati got Terry in the end.


  • #6
    Jim_Hodge
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,201 ✭✭✭✭Jim_Hodge


    I interviewed a guy once, whose CV included his interests as wind surfing and helicopters. As he was from Cavan I was curious where he wind surfed and asked him about the hobby. He was quite evasive and eventually conceded that he just watched a friend wind surf on two occasions. My natural curiosity drove me to look for more on his involvement with helicopters. He went on for a few minutes about the technical specifications for the fictional helicopter in the TV series Airwolf. I stopped him at that point, thanked him for attending and got a pleasant rejection letter sent out to him.


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  • #7
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 7,852 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    What’s Walter Mitty? I thought it was a film.


  • #8
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 5,422 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    ReginaldSmythV wrote: »
    What’s Walter Mitty? I thought it was a film.

    A fantasist created by James Thurber, which has entered common parlance.


  • #9
    Jim_Hodge
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,201 ✭✭✭✭Jim_Hodge


    ReginaldSmythV wrote: »
    What’s Walter Mitty? I thought it was a film.

    Definition
    n.
    An ordinary, often ineffectual person who indulges in fantastic daydreams of personal triumphs.


  • #10
    Ladybird18
    Closed Accounts Posts: 155 ✭✭Ladybird18


    I must admit to being a bit of a Walter Mitty in my much younger years.
    My sister had a penpal who had a sister the same age as I was so it was suggested that I wrote to her.
    Which I did and told her I loved horses and kept two horses in my back garden etc :o
    Might have been ok had my sisters penpal not have visited and seen my 20 foot mid terraced garden.
    Needless to say I didnt get a reply to my letter :D


  • #11
    ILoveYourVibes
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,584 ✭✭✭✭ILoveYourVibes


    I still can't believe that i believed a girl who said her name was Juliette Montague!

    I mean how dumb am i!!??

    And it was kind of like she thought no one else would have heard of it!


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  • #12
    ILoveYourVibes
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,584 ✭✭✭✭ILoveYourVibes


    Ladybird18 wrote: »
    I must admit to being a bit of a Walter Mitty in my much younger years.
    My sister had a penpal who had a sister the same age as I was so it was suggested that I wrote to her.
    Which I did and told her I loved horses and kept two horses in my back garden etc :o
    Might have been ok had my sisters penpal not have visited and seen my 20 foot mid terraced garden.
    Needless to say I didnt get a reply to my letter :D


    that's just cute ..i give you cuteness out of ten!


  • #13
    Guy:Incognito
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 38,227 ✭✭✭✭Guy:Incognito


    I wonder are there any Walter Mitty's on the thread making up stories about knowing a Walter Mitty. Mittception :)



    Ladybird18 wrote: »
    Might have been ok had my sisters penpal not have visited and seen my 20 foot mid terraced garden.

    Ha. Theres lads in "less affluent" areas of Dublin keeping horses that dont have gardens at all.


  • #14
    castletownman
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,249 ✭✭✭✭castletownman


    There was a fella in my social circle a few years ago that would give Jay from the Inbetweeners a run for his money when it came to fabricating stories. I'm not even sure how it came about as he wasn't in my year in school or college, but it got to the stage where he would always hang around with me on a night out. Used to plead to go back to my house afterwards pretty much the whole time and get visibly angry if I said no- just weird carry on.

    I remember he told one of the lads that he was working on an oil-field off the coast for the last six months when he had essentially disappeared off the face of the earth for a while. It was a lie.

    He was then apparently a TEFL tutor in France around the same period- not true. My last encounter with him, he told me he was a garda in the next town over, and that his uncle in the force swung it for him to get posted so close to home. Claimed to be going out with women from rich backgrounds etc. too.

    There was a notable increase in his oddness as the years progressed and I eventually severed ties with him. His actual school-friends gradually got fed up of his antics as well, and I have since heard in the mean-time that he got involved in a bit of cyber-crime. I have seen him in town a few times since, and he doesn't look healthy.


  • #15
    Sober Crappy Chemis
    Closed Accounts Posts: 461 ✭✭Sober Crappy Chemis


    This post has been deleted


  • #16
    Feisar
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,031 ✭✭✭Feisar


    OK I met a friend of a friend one night, he claimed that while in the FCA he was over in Russia in a chopper with the Russian army shooting wolves with a tranquilizer rifle. Apparently the wolves weren't to be killed? I'm pretty sure if an animal is tranquilized in a -20 environment it would die?

    I was in the FCA myself, I'm pretty sure we weren't collaborating with the Rooskies to the detriment of Canis Lupus.

    Suppose I was in Fibber's, what did I expect?!!

    First they came for the socialists...



  • #17
    AllForIt
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,852 ✭✭✭AllForIt


    I think a Walter Mitty character is one that *dreams* of being a certain type of person, a successful actor, politician, a high powered business man, someone infamous, highly successful, highly regarded.

    The person the OP is describing is more of a spoofer.


  • #18
    ILoveYourVibes
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,584 ✭✭✭✭ILoveYourVibes


    The Irish forgive a lot of spoofing.


  • #19
    Crock Rock
    Closed Accounts Posts: 613 ✭✭✭Crock Rock


    There was this bloke who convinced us all that he retired at 55 with a pension fund worth over 1 million with a 6 figure lump sum and a 100k per anum annuity ....
    He was apparently into angling since he was 10 and was a wildlife expert.


  • #20
    ILoveYourVibes
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,584 ✭✭✭✭ILoveYourVibes


    There are so many true things about me no one would believe though. I don't wear them on my sleeve however.


  • #21
    Earthhorse
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,728 ✭✭✭✭Earthhorse


    I was in a diner in New York about to tuck into a burger and fries, after a hard day's schlepping around the city, when I spied a hand sneaking a fry off my plate. I look up and who do I see? Bill Murray! He smiled for a second, winked, then bent over and whispered, "You should pretend to be a successful futures dealer on boards. For added bonus invent a tantalisingly hot wife."

    True story.


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  • #22
    Plopsu
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 671 ✭✭✭Plopsu


    Feisar wrote: »
    OK I met a friend of a friend one night, he claimed that while in the FCA he was over in Russia in a chopper with the Russian army shooting wolves with a tranquilizer rifle. Apparently the wolves weren't to be killed? I'm pretty sure if an animal is tranquilized in a -20 environment it would die?

    I was in the FCA myself, I'm pretty sure we weren't collaborating with the Rooskies to the detriment of Canis Lupus.

    Suppose I was in Fibber's, what did I expect?!!

    His initials weren't EC, by any chance?


  • #23
    Feisar
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,031 ✭✭✭Feisar


    Plopsu wrote: »
    His initials weren't EC, by any chance?

    Don’t know to be honest, friend of a friend as I said and it was over 10 years ago.

    Of to find out though!

    First they came for the socialists...



  • #24
    Graces7
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 32,634 ✭✭✭✭Graces7


    Crock Rock wrote: »
    There was this bloke who convinced us all that he retired at 55 with a pension fund worth over 1 million with a 6 figure lump sum and a 100k per anum annuity ....
    He was apparently into angling since he was 10 and was a wildlife expert.

    And a library of 100 rare books... expensive new car every year.....an orchard an several acres of coast to walk on

    et cetera et cetera etc cetera


  • #25
    nthclare
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 3,312 ✭✭✭nthclare


    I know one, he goes around telling everyone he owns a big farm and has all this big machinery,property etc

    Shags all these fictitious women he screen shots from Tinder, then wins all these awards for his bulls etc

    Meanwhile his dad owns the farm, and half of the farm they rent from another farmer.
    Spoofed his way into a big job there recently and went out and leased an Audi but tells ever one he bought it for cash.

    When out and about he changes his demeanour and accent frequently, he's a muck savage but puts on a D4 accent in front of the people he thinks will enhance his self validity.

    They're all laughing at him, when he is trying to impress everyone he speaks a lot of word salad with financial and new age business buzz words and everyone is wondering wtf was that all about.
    But in his own head his narcissism tells him, he sounds so well that nobody will pull him uo on his stupidly l.

    A likeable chap but absolutely off his chuck


  • #26
    Deebles McBeebles
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,969 ✭✭✭Deebles McBeebles


    I knew a great one/lad years ago (this part is actually true) but revealing anything about it would compromise my cover. I'm not prepared to die for you people and my PC, Commissioner Reagan, would agree.


  • #27
    topper75
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,942 ✭✭✭topper75


    ILoveYourVibes wrote: »
    The Irish forgive a lot of spoofing.

    True.

    In other lands it is simply seen as a mental deficiency and I think we should start seeing it as such here.


  • #28
    weldoninhio
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,311 ✭✭✭✭weldoninhio


    I've a friend like Walter Mitty, although he has toned it down massively as we've gotten older, still uses it though. His dad buys a car, he tells everyong it's his etc. One of the funniest ones was when we were younger he tried telling us that Kevin Kilbane was his cousin. Zinedine had just broken into the Irish team at the time and there was a bit of a buzz about him. It was pre-internet so there wouldn't have been a lot known about him.

    This lad was such a waffler that his ma would just agree with him any time he wanted anything validated just to have some peace and quiet. So me, and the brother of another Irish international, are in his kitchen and he's going on about Zinedine being his cousin and asking his ma to tell us it's true, we're laughing at him calling him a waffler and full of shit. Next thing as if the Gods planned it, he blurts out "He fookin is my cousin, he's from Achill island", TV cuts to an interview with Kilbane, very strong London accent from him and me and the other mate rolling round the kitchen laughing "Achill, fcuking Achill, some Achill accent on him". The bluffer mate just brushed it off called us muppets as if we'd been making up stories, and moved onto the next fairytale he was making up.


  • #29
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 12,694 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    I think its more interesting in a way when someone tells you something about themselves that you think that can't possibly be true and years later you find out it was true.


  • #30
    FanadMan
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,824 ✭✭✭FanadMan


    There's seriously funny Walter Mitty stories in here

    https://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/forumdisplay.php?f=1008

    The foreign legion one is brilliant!


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  • #31
    Arghus
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2, Paid Member Posts: 16,401 ✭✭✭✭Arghus


    Earthhorse wrote: »
    I was in a diner in New York about to tuck into a burger and fries, after a hard day's schlepping around the city, when I spied a hand sneaking a fry off my plate. I look up and who do I see? Bill Murray! He smiled for a second, winked, then bent over and whispered, "You should pretend to be a successful futures dealer on boards. For added bonus invent a tantalisingly hot wife."

    True story.

    And, after a period of death, ressurect yourself.


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