Walter Mitty thread

Ubbquittious

Since the topic of Walter Mitties recently came up on this forum I began to ponder my own real life experiences with them. There is one fella who stands out


I was working for a place and this feen was about to become a customer and he ran a small healthy food business. We landed up to his office and sure enough he started rambling on. Claimed he was an ex-garda detective, glock at home he 'still had to hand back'. He had a picture of himself with some famous Irish criminal walking out of the high court which we never got to see


He said he had a boat. An very poor quality grainy pixelated picture showing a boat maybe 12-15m long adorned the wall next to his desk. He invited me along to France on it (never happened, as you can imagine). The daftest thing of all he came out with was that he was out in his boat one day close to the harbour and he saw two lads trying to steal an outboard engine and his response was to pull his own boat alongside theirs without them noticing and dropped his fcuking anchor through it - a scene that could only have come out of a cartoon.


He never paid a penny for what he signed up for, never paid his landlord a penny and in a few months he was gone.

ILoveYourVibes

I went to an exercise class with an English girl who said her name was Juliette Montague. I kind of looked at her and went ' oh that's funny'. She went 'most people think i am french or something ' no reference to 'Yes my name is a Shakespearean icon'.

She then said she earned her living by playing piano for ballet classes.

I was still believing everything she said at this stage.

She then said she was embarrassed to show her legs because of her 'scar' and she showed me but i couldn't see anything.

I still believed EVERYTHING she said.

She told me she and her partner had a house in switzerland and in the UK (which i believed because she was british and had a upper class english accent). He had been a diplomat and was now a banker.

Then she asked if i wanted to go to her place once for lunch or something. I did it was a tiny bedsit. And it wasn't well kept.

I didn't think anything less of her. I kept in touch until she stopped talking to me. She never had any money. And sometimes she looked ill.

I think in her case it was more illness though than nastiness.

A guy who i went to college with. He used come up with crazy stories. Some i couldn't understand. He claimed to have started this catering business with a friend who was having spiritual Revelations. Then he asked me to be his 'spiritual guru'. He would text me saying he was having mild panic attacks and that he needed my guidance. The catering business etc ..it was all a lie.

the purple tin

Ubbquittious wrote: »

Since the topic of Walter Mitties recently came up on this forum I began to ponder my own real life experiences with them. There is one fella who stands out


I was working for a place and this feen was about to become a customer and he ran a small healthy food business. We landed up to his office and sure enough he started rambling on. Claimed he was an ex-garda detective, glock at home he 'still had to hand back'. He had a picture of himself with some famous Irish criminal walking out of the high court which we never got to see


He said he had a boat. An very poor quality grainy pixelated picture showing a boat maybe 12-15m long adorned the wall next to his desk. He invited me along to France on it (never happened, as you can imagine). The daftest thing of all he came out with was that he was out in his boat one day close to the harbour and he saw two lads trying to steal an outboard engine and his response was to pull his own boat alongside theirs without them noticing and dropped his fcuking anchor through it - a scene that could only have come out of a cartoon.


He never paid a penny for what he signed up for, never paid his landlord a penny and in a few months he was gone.

Your buddy must have been watching Caddyshack the night before

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MVL4wKnpx2U

Bigbagofcans

The wonders of Mr Von Bismarck.

Hande hoche!

The Illuminati got Terry in the end.

Jim_Hodge

I interviewed a guy once, whose CV included his interests as wind surfing and helicopters. As he was from Cavan I was curious where he wind surfed and asked him about the hobby. He was quite evasive and eventually conceded that he just watched a friend wind surf on two occasions. My natural curiosity drove me to look for more on his involvement with helicopters. He went on for a few minutes about the technical specifications for the fictional helicopter in the TV series Airwolf. I stopped him at that point, thanked him for attending and got a pleasant rejection letter sent out to him.

What’s Walter Mitty? I thought it was a film.

ReginaldSmythV

ReginaldSmythV wrote: »

What’s Walter Mitty? I thought it was a film.

A fantasist created by James Thurber, which has entered common parlance.

Jim_Hodge

ReginaldSmythV wrote: »

What’s Walter Mitty? I thought it was a film.

Definition

n.
An ordinary, often ineffectual person who indulges in fantastic daydreams of personal triumphs.

Ladybird18

I must admit to being a bit of a Walter Mitty in my much younger years.
My sister had a penpal who had a sister the same age as I was so it was suggested that I wrote to her.
Which I did and told her I loved horses and kept two horses in my back garden etc
Might have been ok had my sisters penpal not have visited and seen my 20 foot mid terraced garden.
Needless to say I didnt get a reply to my letter

ILoveYourVibes

I still can't believe that i believed a girl who said her name was Juliette Montague!

I mean how dumb am i!!??

And it was kind of like she thought no one else would have heard of it!

ILoveYourVibes

Ladybird18 wrote: »

I must admit to being a bit of a Walter Mitty in my much younger years.
My sister had a penpal who had a sister the same age as I was so it was suggested that I wrote to her.
Which I did and told her I loved horses and kept two horses in my back garden etc
Might have been ok had my sisters penpal not have visited and seen my 20 foot mid terraced garden.
Needless to say I didnt get a reply to my letter

that's just cute ..i give you cuteness out of ten!

Guy:Incognito

I wonder are there any Walter Mitty's on the thread making up stories about knowing a Walter Mitty. Mittception

Ladybird18 wrote: »

Might have been ok had my sisters penpal not have visited and seen my 20 foot mid terraced garden.

Ha. Theres lads in "less affluent" areas of Dublin keeping horses that dont have gardens at all.

castletownman

There was a fella in my social circle a few years ago that would give Jay from the Inbetweeners a run for his money when it came to fabricating stories. I'm not even sure how it came about as he wasn't in my year in school or college, but it got to the stage where he would always hang around with me on a night out. Used to plead to go back to my house afterwards pretty much the whole time and get visibly angry if I said no- just weird carry on.

I remember he told one of the lads that he was working on an oil-field off the coast for the last six months when he had essentially disappeared off the face of the earth for a while. It was a lie.

He was then apparently a TEFL tutor in France around the same period- not true. My last encounter with him, he told me he was a garda in the next town over, and that his uncle in the force swung it for him to get posted so close to home. Claimed to be going out with women from rich backgrounds etc. too.

There was a notable increase in his oddness as the years progressed and I eventually severed ties with him. His actual school-friends gradually got fed up of his antics as well, and I have since heard in the mean-time that he got involved in a bit of cyber-crime. I have seen him in town a few times since, and he doesn't look healthy.

Sober Crappy Chemis

This post has been deleted

Feisar

OK I met a friend of a friend one night, he claimed that while in the FCA he was over in Russia in a chopper with the Russian army shooting wolves with a tranquilizer rifle. Apparently the wolves weren't to be killed? I'm pretty sure if an animal is tranquilized in a -20 environment it would die?

I was in the FCA myself, I'm pretty sure we weren't collaborating with the Rooskies to the detriment of Canis Lupus.

Suppose I was in Fibber's, what did I expect?!!

AllForIt

I think a Walter Mitty character is one that *dreams* of being a certain type of person, a successful actor, politician, a high powered business man, someone infamous, highly successful, highly regarded.

The person the OP is describing is more of a spoofer.

ILoveYourVibes

The Irish forgive a lot of spoofing.

Crock Rock

There was this bloke who convinced us all that he retired at 55 with a pension fund worth over 1 million with a 6 figure lump sum and a 100k per anum annuity ....
He was apparently into angling since he was 10 and was a wildlife expert.

ILoveYourVibes

There are so many true things about me no one would believe though. I don't wear them on my sleeve however.

Earthhorse

I was in a diner in New York about to tuck into a burger and fries, after a hard day's schlepping around the city, when I spied a hand sneaking a fry off my plate. I look up and who do I see? Bill Murray! He smiled for a second, winked, then bent over and whispered, "You should pretend to be a successful futures dealer on boards. For added bonus invent a tantalisingly hot wife."

True story.

Plopsu

Feisar wrote: »

OK I met a friend of a friend one night, he claimed that while in the FCA he was over in Russia in a chopper with the Russian army shooting wolves with a tranquilizer rifle. Apparently the wolves weren't to be killed? I'm pretty sure if an animal is tranquilized in a -20 environment it would die?

I was in the FCA myself, I'm pretty sure we weren't collaborating with the Rooskies to the detriment of Canis Lupus.

Suppose I was in Fibber's, what did I expect?!!

His initials weren't EC, by any chance?

Feisar

Plopsu wrote: »

His initials weren't EC, by any chance?

Don’t know to be honest, friend of a friend as I said and it was over 10 years ago.

Of to find out though!

Graces7

Crock Rock wrote: »

There was this bloke who convinced us all that he retired at 55 with a pension fund worth over 1 million with a 6 figure lump sum and a 100k per anum annuity ....
He was apparently into angling since he was 10 and was a wildlife expert.

And a library of 100 rare books... expensive new car every year.....an orchard an several acres of coast to walk on

et cetera et cetera etc cetera

nthclare

I know one, he goes around telling everyone he owns a big farm and has all this big machinery,property etc

Shags all these fictitious women he screen shots from Tinder, then wins all these awards for his bulls etc

Meanwhile his dad owns the farm, and half of the farm they rent from another farmer.
Spoofed his way into a big job there recently and went out and leased an Audi but tells ever one he bought it for cash.

When out and about he changes his demeanour and accent frequently, he's a muck savage but puts on a D4 accent in front of the people he thinks will enhance his self validity.

They're all laughing at him, when he is trying to impress everyone he speaks a lot of word salad with financial and new age business buzz words and everyone is wondering wtf was that all about.
But in his own head his narcissism tells him, he sounds so well that nobody will pull him uo on his stupidly l.

A likeable chap but absolutely off his chuck

Deebles McBeebles

I knew a great one/lad years ago (this part is actually true) but revealing anything about it would compromise my cover. I'm not prepared to die for you people and my PC, Commissioner Reagan, would agree.

topper75

ILoveYourVibes wrote: »

The Irish forgive a lot of spoofing.

True.

In other lands it is simply seen as a mental deficiency and I think we should start seeing it as such here.

weldoninhio

I've a friend like Walter Mitty, although he has toned it down massively as we've gotten older, still uses it though. His dad buys a car, he tells everyong it's his etc. One of the funniest ones was when we were younger he tried telling us that Kevin Kilbane was his cousin. Zinedine had just broken into the Irish team at the time and there was a bit of a buzz about him. It was pre-internet so there wouldn't have been a lot known about him.

This lad was such a waffler that his ma would just agree with him any time he wanted anything validated just to have some peace and quiet. So me, and the brother of another Irish international, are in his kitchen and he's going on about Zinedine being his cousin and asking his ma to tell us it's true, we're laughing at him calling him a waffler and full of shit. Next thing as if the Gods planned it, he blurts out "He fookin is my cousin, he's from Achill island", TV cuts to an interview with Kilbane, very strong London accent from him and me and the other mate rolling round the kitchen laughing "Achill, fcuking Achill, some Achill accent on him". The bluffer mate just brushed it off called us muppets as if we'd been making up stories, and moved onto the next fairytale he was making up.

I think its more interesting in a way when someone tells you something about themselves that you think that can't possibly be true and years later you find out it was true.

FanadMan

There's seriously funny Walter Mitty stories in here

https://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/forumdisplay.php?f=1008

The foreign legion one is brilliant!

Arghus

Earthhorse wrote: »

I was in a diner in New York about to tuck into a burger and fries, after a hard day's schlepping around the city, when I spied a hand sneaking a fry off my plate. I look up and who do I see? Bill Murray! He smiled for a second, winked, then bent over and whispered, "You should pretend to be a successful futures dealer on boards. For added bonus invent a tantalisingly hot wife."

True story.

And, after a period of death, ressurect yourself.

corner of hells

FanadMan wrote: »

There's seriously funny Walter Mitty stories in here

https://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/forumdisplay.php?f=1008

The foreign legion one is brilliant!

My wife's younger sister separated from her husband years ago and started dating again turning up some real clangers.
One that springs to mind was a character who said he was an Irish American US marine visiting his grandparents while on leave. His story was plausible enough till he announced he had to return back to his unit in America for a secret mission and couldn't give any contact details saying he would get in touch. Her sister wasn't particularly upset just surprised the way he vanished.
A few months later , he reappeared announcing he had left the marines and joined the French Foreign Legion, same story applied , he had to rush off on a secret mission and would be uncontactable.
Her sister didnt give a fcuk just acknowledging him as a spoofer.
We still see him around occasionally, home on leave from some secret mission, buys his groceries in Tesco though.

Capt'n Midnight

ReginaldSmythV wrote: »

What’s Walter Mitty? I thought it was a film.

Yes that's the Danny Kaye film.

There was something released more recently to defraud unsuspecting punters. Apart from the use of the names it bore no relation whatsoever to the original story.

Original story here - pocketa-pocketa-pocketa
https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/1939/03/18/the-secret-life-of-walter-james-thurber

Capt'n Midnight

Capt'n Midnight wrote: »

Yes that's the Danny Kaye film.

There was something released more recently to defraud unsuspecting punters. Apart from the use of the names it bore no relation whatsoever to the original story.

Original story here - pocketa-pocketa-pocketa
https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/1939/03/18/the-secret-life-of-walter-james-thurber

World have to be the new one for me, can’t watch them old ones. Bad modern acting is still better than all that old hammy acting.

Bob Harris

weldoninhio wrote: »

This lad was such a waffler that his ma would just agree with him any time he wanted anything validated just to have some peace and quiet. So me, and the brother of another Irish international, are in his kitchen and he's going on about Zinedine being his cousin and asking his ma to tell us it's true, we're laughing at him calling him a waffler and full of shit. Next thing as if the Gods planned it, he blurts out "He fookin is my cousin, he's from Achill island", TV cuts to an interview with Kilbane, very strong London accent from him and me and the other mate rolling round the kitchen laughing "Achill, fcuking Achill, some Achill accent on him". The bluffer mate just brushed it off called us muppets as if we'd been making up stories, and moved onto the next fairytale he was making up.

Kilbane's dad is from Achill Island.

El Weirdo

Bob Harris wrote: »

Kilbane's dad is from Achill Island.

And Kevin Kilbane most definitely does not have a London accent.

Woke Hogan

Bob Harris wrote: »

Kilbane's dad is from Achill Island.

El Weirdo wrote: »

And Kevin Kilbane most definitely does not have a London accent.

It would appear the spoofee has become the spoofer.

Hoop66

Knew a guy in London, back in the day, who claimed to have met extra-terrestrials while travelling in Peru.

Turned out he'd never been to South America at all, so I'm a bit dubious about the aliens tbh.

It also turned out he was smoking a *lot* of crack.

weldoninhio

Bob Harris wrote: »

Kilbane's dad is from Achill Island.

That's as maybe, but my friend didn't know that. He's just a spoofer.

weldoninhio

El Weirdo wrote: »

And Kevin Kilbane most definitely does not have a London accent.

What would you call it?? It's an english accent, i placed it in London.

Bob Harris

weldoninhio wrote: »

What would you call it?? It's an english accent, i placed it in London.

He was born and bred oop north in Preston.

weldoninhio wrote: »

That's as maybe, but my friend didn't know that. He's just a spoofer.

It's quite the guess from your friend to say he's from Achill island and his Dad is actually from there.

weldoninhio

Bob Harris wrote: »

He was born and bred oop north in Preston.



It's quite the guess from your friend to say he's from Achill island and his Dad is actually from there.

It may have been, doesn't take away from the fact that it was a hail mary guess, he is absolutely no relation to him, and the aforementioned friend will now deny ever saying that they were cousins. :D:D

HildaOgdenx

Capt'n Midnight wrote: »

Yes that's the Danny Kaye film.

There was something released more recently to defraud unsuspecting punters. Apart from the use of the names it bore no relation whatsoever to the original story.

Original story here - pocketa-pocketa-pocketa
https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/1939/03/18/the-secret-life-of-walter-james-thurber

Enjoyed reading that.
The Walter Mitty story was in our English book in secondary school.

the purple tin

I worked with an absolute Walt years ago. He was middle-aged, short and you would not call him attractive by a long shot. But, according to him he was getting more women than Hugh Hefner.
Ludicrous stories about women just throwing themselves at him, like his life was a blue movie or something.


One I remember; he went to a party one night in a friend of a friends house, full of people having fun, he had a few drinks and then went out to the back garden for a smoke and some peace and quiet. He was sitting on a bench minding his own business when this absolute stunner of a woman comes out of the house, walks right over to him and without saying a word unzipped his trousers and proceeded to suck his cock! After she had finished she stood up, said 'thanks for that' and walked back into the house :rolleyes:

ManOfMystery

I work with a Walter Mitty character. He's on an average wage but has tried to convince us he bought a supercar a while back (I'm talking a £150k car). Of course, no-one ever saw it because it's kept at his family's other home in a different country - the roads are better there apparently. Strangely, this seems to also have negated his ability to even take a photo of it.

He has also had some wonderful life experiences, including (but not limited to) direct contact and business meetings with A-list American celebs for a hobby/side venture he's involved in, being sought after by a very famous global corporation for a 6 figure contract, and more.

I sometimes don't know if he's actually the most convincing troll that ever lived, or genuinely believes his own BS.

Graces7

ManOfMystery wrote: »

I work with a Walter Mitty character. He's on an average wage but has tried to convince us he bought a supercar a while back (I'm talking a £150k car). Of course, no-one ever saw it because it's kept at his family's other home in a different country - the roads are better there apparently. Strangely, this seems to also have negated his ability to even take a photo of it.

He has also had some wonderful life experiences, including (but not limited to) direct contact and business meetings with A-list American celebs for a hobby/side venture he's involved in, being sought after by a very famous global corporation for a 6 figure contract, and more.

I sometimes don't know if he's actually the most convincing troll that ever lived, or genuinely believes his own BS.

Interesting question...

TomSweeney

the purple tin wrote: »

I worked with an absolute Walt years ago. He was middle-aged, short and you would not call him attractive by a long shot. But, according to him he was getting more women than Hugh Hefner.
Ludicrous stories about women just throwing themselves at him, like his life was a blue movie or something.


One I remember; he went to a party one night in a friend of a friends house, full of people having fun, he had a few drinks and then went out to the back garden for a smoke and some peace and quiet. He was sitting on a bench minding his own business when this absolute stunner of a woman comes out of the house, walks right over to him and without saying a word unzipped his trousers and proceeded to suck his cock! After she had finished she stood up, said 'thanks for that' and walked back into the house :rolleyes:

Sounds like something pintman paddy losty would post !

the purple tin

TomSweeney wrote: »

Sounds like something pintman paddy losty would post !

Thinking back about it I think he was in the closet.

He never married or had a girlfriend and nobody ever saw him with any of his countless conquests as they were always one night stands. Any work parties he always came on his own.

I reckon he was throwing up a smokescreen, people weren't so open minded back then, but he really overdid it.
Every monday morning he would be telling everyone on the floor about the latest ride he got over the weekend, he sounded like a adolescent boy making up stories about getting off with a girl to his schoolfriends. I honestly think he was never near a woman in his life.

JohnnyFlash

TomSweeney wrote: »

Sounds like something pintman paddy losty would post !

Pintman is a hideous looking individual. Would never get the ride if he wasn’t paying for it.

Think you’re getting him mixed up with myself. I’m a bit of a ‘swordsman’ alright.

the purple tin

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

Pintman is a hideous looking individual. Would never get the ride if he wasn’t paying for it.

Think you’re getting him mixed up with myself. I’m a bit of a ‘swordsman’ alright.

But Paddy was married with kids wasn't he?
The wife used to throw on a bit of a fry for him when he came back from the pub sick of eating 'packets of crips'.

TheAnalyst_

The United People thread was textbook Mitty.