Caroline Flack found dead

Galwayguy35 wrote: »

I wonder if it was the boyfriend who smashed a lamp over her head and then killed himself would you be saying it's time to ease off on the judgement.

You and about 10 others before you. This has been raised and discussed several times over earlier in the thread.

Its also possible to think the fact that she assaulted her boyfriend is unacceptable, and recognise the sadness and neddlessness of her suicide.
It doesn't have to be one or the other.

holyhead wrote: »

If the gender roles were reversed would you feel the same?

Yes I do and I think more people would be saying the same.

Just imagine if it had of come out that Olly Murs was dating one of the Little Mix girls while they were on the show... people would not have let it go as far as I am concerned.

retro:electro wrote: »

And they very well might be right.

So you're already writing off whatever he says about her then. It doesn't matter what he comes out and says, you and a lot of other people will perceive it as if he was some battered husband who is shielding his abuser. And yeah, maybe he is, but what if he isn't that at all? What if, while angry and intoxicated, he made a series of exaggerations to the 999 operator and the first responders, without realising that they'd be taken as gospel truth? Is this impossible? No because we know he alleged that she tried to kill him. Does that make it attempted murder? No. He exaggerated that element of the attack obviously, which is very easily done because he said it while it was still taking place, but why is everybody so sure that other aspects of the carnage weren't exaggerated? It makes zero sense to me that if Lewis Burton back-tracks on claims that he made when he was drunk, and during the middle of the actual event (!), then it's simply a case of a victim protecting his abuser when, actually, the scale of the abuse is severely compromised in the first place.

SusieBlue wrote: »

You and about 10 others before you. This has been raised and discussed several times over earlier in the thread.

Its also possible to think the fact that she assaulted her boyfriend is unacceptable, and recognise the sadness and neddlessness of her suicide.
It doesn't have to be one or the other.

I was asking a straight forward question but I think we know the answer.

There's no way someone would be suggesting we ease off the judgement if a man smashed a lamp over a womans head while she slept but you and others just don't want to admit this.

Keyzer wrote: »

None of my business, I've more important things in life to be worried about. Regardless, the age of consent in the UK is 16 so, in the eyes of the law, she did nothing wrong.

Keyzer wrote: »

None of my business, I've more important things in life to be worried about. Regardless, the age of consent in the UK is 16 so, in the eyes of the law, she did nothing wrong.

Yes in the eyes of the law she did nothing wrong which is why there was no charges pressed etc But in my eyes she did and I will never understand now a grown woman could find a young boy sexually attractive.
Harry Styles was such a young looking boy and she was a grown woman. I can understand why he was attracted to her but I cannot understand how she was attracted to him..
and it wasn't just her... Harry likes the older woman and made a name for himself bedding older women. I just don't get it myself.

And it was worse for me because she was a member of staff on the show and he was a contestant.

Raconteuse wrote: »

Of course they would. A 31-year-old man would be given loads of abuse for going out with a 17-year-old girl.

Agreed, but its symptomatic of the double standard around relationships and power dynamics that in an Older male/Younger female, he's exploitative or powerful and she's naive, a gold digger or a victim

in Older Female/Younger Male, shes a sexual predator(I mean cougar is a very loaded predatory term in and of itself ) whilst he's the lucky feck who's hot for teacher.

There is a massive dichotomy in how the gender of a victim affects the perceception of harm by 3rd parties.

AryaStark wrote: »

Yes in the eyes of the law she did nothing wrong which is why there was no charges pressed etc But in my eyes she did and I will never understand now a grown woman could find a young boy sexually attractive.
Harry Styles was such a young looking boy and she was a grown woman. I can understand why he was attracted to her but I cannot understand how she was attracted to him..
and it wasn't just her... Harry likes the older woman and made a name for himself bedding older women. I just don't get it myself.

And it was worse for me because she was a member of staff on the show and he was a contestant.

And who cares about your opinion on the matter? Maybe if people like yourself kept your opinions on the personal lives of others to yourself then things may be different.

It's very possible for someone to go through your post history and find something objectional. Now imagine thousands of people, and newspapers and media outlets twisting the narrative of your actions, your friends and family reading all this and being contacted for opinions and a spotlight shone on everything you do.

If you have nothing nice to say, then say nothing at all.

Hammer89 wrote: »

Except there isn't footage of what went down. Why would the police be there before the actual thing happened? There's footage of a messy bedroom with blood on the sheets - her blood, according to him - and that's it.

And to say it's irrelevant if the scale of the attack was exaggerated is absolutely stunning. She isn't being judged and condemned by merely attacking her boyfriend. She's being judged and condemned by the idea that she took a lamp, while he was asleep, and split his head open with it. You don't think it changes the complexion if that isn't true?

They were there for the aftermath, likely when they were both still in the throes of hysterics. Caroline had slit her own wrists and to be restrained, Lewis was screaming in the streets that his life was ruined and he was normal before he met her. And that’s what we do know, god knows what else the cameras captured but clearly it was enough for the CPS to move forward with this.

And I never said it’s irrelevant if the scale of the attack is exaggerated — I said it’s irrelevant if Lewis exaggerated the scale on the phone to the police, because clearly by the time they arrived there was enough evidence and information for the police to make up their own minds. It sounds like it was an extremely vicious and distressing situation and god knows why you’re hell bent on downplaying it.

Padre_Pio wrote: »

And who cares about your opinion on the matter? Maybe if people like yourself kept your opinions on the personal lives of others to yourself then things may be different.

It's very possible for someone to go through your post history and find something objectional. Now imagine thousands of people, and newspapers and media outlets twisting the narrative of your actions, your friends and family reading all this and being contacted for opinions and a spotlight shone on everything you do.

If you have nothing nice to say, then say nothing at all.

And yet boards is a discussion site where people come to have discussions about stuff and even debate! I don't care what you think of me and you are welcome to troll if you want.
I wasn't writing to you and you have the choice to dismiss my post and yet you decide to comment on it!!!

Lets cut the bull and call a spade a spade.

This girl was mainly famous for her time on Love Island.

She, out of a rage, one night, picked up a lamp, and broke it across the skull of her boyfriend who was asleep in their bed.

An ex of hers, upon hearing about this said he wasnt surprised about this action at all, suggesting that she had a streak in her to commit violence when annoyed.

Because she was famous, and lived well financially from such fame, she attracted the attention of the media who reported it to the public.

Most of the public who were bothered about this issue claimed it was wrong of her to be violent to her partner and were against domestic abuse of any sort, irrespective of genders involved.

The girl herself obviously didnt like falling from the public pedestal she enjoyed before this assault on her boyfriend became public knowledge and she couldnt handle the pressure and fall from grace.

The girl may have had pre existing mental health issues which compounded the issues she was facing and unfortunately she decided the best way around it all was to end her own life.

Anyone, irrespective of fame or financial worth, who thinks the only way out of their problems is by committing suicide deserves help and understanding and its unfortunate that there wasnt enough of either to help her out of this predicament.

On the other hand, she was a violent individual who could have killed her partner due to her actions that night and she, like any one else that violently assaults their partners, deserved the backlash she got from the public or friends, violence female to female, male to male or female to male or male to female are all equally wrong and should not be seen in different lights.

She was wrong, she couldnt handle the backlash and because of her mental fragility ended up tragically taking her own life.

Galwayguy35 wrote: »

I was asking a straight forward question but I think we know the answer.

There's no way someone would be suggesting we ease off the judgement if a man smashed a lamp over a womans head while she slept but you and others just don't want to admit this.

Yes, we know the answer because the issue of gender has already been discussed ad nauseum on this very thread, even though it has nothing to do with what happened.

She paid the price for what she did with her life, what more do you want?

Those who are focusing on demonising her for the assault and those who are trying to martyr her for taking her life without considering the other aspects of the case are as bad as each other.
Its not a black and white situation where fingers can be pointed, its a sad situation all around for all involved.

KiKi III wrote: »

Posters here act like it’s feminists who are obsessed with gender wars, but almost any thread about any woman on any topic gets a deluge of “if this was a man...” posts from male posters.

Give it a rest ffs. The woman is barely cold.

She was a flawed person but it didn’t have to come to this. There was opportunity for redemption.

RIP Caroline.

Calling out double standards around the issue of domestic abuse is a legitimate point to make considering the lack of awareness on male victims of domestic abuse and the stigma that surrounds it.

vixdname wrote: »

Lets cut the bull and call a spade a spade.

This girl was mainly famous for her time on Love Island.

She, out of a rage, one night, picked up a lamp, and broke it across the skull of her boyfriend who was asleep in their bed.

An ex of hers, upon hearing about this said he wasnt surprised about this action at all, suggesting that she had a streak in her to commit violence when annoyed.

Because she was famous, and lived well financially from such fame, she attracted the attention of the media who reported it to the public.

Most of the public who were bothered about this issue claimed it was wrong of her to be violent to her partner and were against domestic abuse of any sort, irrespective of genders involved.

The girl herself obviously didnt like falling from the public pedestal she enjoyed before this assault on her boyfriend became public knowledge and she couldnt handle the pressure and fall from grace.

The girl may have had pre existing mental health issues which compounded the issues she was facing and unfortunately she decided the best way around it all was to end her own life.

Anyone, irrespective of fame or financial worth, who thinks the only way out of their problems is by committing suicide deserves help and understanding and its unfortunate that there wasnt enough of either to help her out of this predicament.

On the other hand, she was a violent individual who could have killed her partner due to her actions that night and she, like any one else that violently assaults their partners, deserved the backlash she got from the public or friends, violence female to female, male to male or female to male or male to female are all equally wrong and should not be seen in different lights.

She was wrong, she couldnt handle the backlash and because of her mental fragility ended up tragically taking her own life.

So with all that info you must have direct and unfettered access to the police interviews and CPS Book of Evidence. Fair ****s.

Clearly 'she' was a close and dear friend of yours with that concise summation.

skallywag wrote: »

Have to disagree strongly with you there, what she did was absolutely horrific and is nowhere near being done justice by calling it an 'isolated domestic incident'.

This attitude seems to be quite prevalent though, I am really struggling to see why. I wonder is it to do with the fact that it was a lamp used to whack him while he slept, is this somehow belittling the incident in some folks minds? E.g. if she had went at him with a knife, with the same level of injury, would it be looked on then for the extremely serious incident that it is?

Oh I dunno maybe because I was not there and I have not read the witness statements or the evidence gathered. Judging by the some other posters here I am clearly in the minority.