What's the etiquette here??

Hotblack Desiato · 11-02-2020 6:29pm

Utter Consternation wrote: »

How would one broach the subject with their other half? It's not an issue you could bring up over dinner or casually drop into conversation.

Why would you? Just rob one. You should know where she stashes her bits and bobs by now, or does she make you leave the room before she gets dressed?

JohnnyFlash · 11-02-2020 7:00pm

Utter Consternation wrote: »

How would one broach the subject with their other half? It's not an issue you could bring up over dinner or casually drop into conversation.

Why not, pal?

The reason this thread exists is because people won’t talk about this most important of topics. It’s why this thread is almost certainly the most important one in the history of the site.

Just go, ‘listen I’ve had to bag and bin all three pairs of those Calvin Klein boxers you bought me due to fallout from Arthur’s Revenge. Sorry love’.

Then back to your bacon and cabbage.

Cartman78 · 11-02-2020 7:00pm

Hotblack Desiato wrote: »

Why would you? Just rob one. You should know where she stashes her bits and bobs by now, or does she make you leave the room before she gets dressed?

Mission Impossible 7: Rogue Sanitary Products

Urethral Buttercup · 11-02-2020 7:24pm

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

I’d have my fears around this form of “self” medicating, U. If it works well you’ll go back to it, over and over.

Can’t that stuff weaken the “integrity” of the hoop itself? Would it thin the skin? I wouldn’t be a fan of that. Especially if it caused “translucent” patches to form. I’ve seen what an egg looks like when left in vinegar.

I’ll stick to rotating between Sudocrem, E45 cream and, the old, Silcock’s Base. Thank you very much.

Don't know about thinning of the skin, but I've been swabbing cortizol and other steroid creams on my hoop for years. Nice tingle off it. I had a zit on the purse lips a few years back and the only way I could get rid of it was with steroids. I've a repeat prescription.

Brendan Bendar · 11-02-2020 7:40pm

Urethral Buttercup wrote: »

Don't know about thinning of the skin, but I've been swabbing cortizol and other steroid creams on my hoop for years. Nice tingle off it. I had a zit on the purse lips a few years back and the only way I could get rid of it was with steroids. I've a repeat prescription.

Hmmm. Patio brush did it for me.

€17.00 in Lidl.

Urethral Buttercup · 11-02-2020 7:45pm

Brendan Bendar wrote: »

Hmmm. Patio brush did it for me.

€17.00 in Lidl.

Ah yes. I've a feeling you got value from both ends of the broom didn't you Brendan.

Bullocks · 11-02-2020 8:04pm

Brendan Bendar wrote: »

Hmmm. Patio brush did it for me.

€17.00 in Lidl.

No doubt about it Ben but a patio brush will definitely burst a zit. If you're not careful though your arse will be like a collinder with all the new holes it will put into it

Bullocks · 11-02-2020 8:05pm

Utter Consternation wrote: »

Why the hell would you do that? You may as well splash some fcuking jeyes fluid or bleach up your hole too.

Fcuking lunacy.

Bleaching your hole, it's practised I believe mainly by women

Brendan Bendar · 11-02-2020 8:11pm

Bullocks wrote: »

No doubt about it Ben but a patio brush will definitely burst a zit. If you're not careful though your arse will be like a collinder with all the new holes it will put into it

Yes, you do have to be careful

Hotblack Desiato · 11-02-2020 8:28pm

Urethral Buttercup wrote: »

Don't know about thinning of the skin, but I've been swabbing cortizol and other steroid creams on my hoop for years. Nice tingle off it. I had a zit on the purse lips a few years back and the only way I could get rid of it was with steroids. I've a repeat prescription.

And your anus can now bench press 400lbs :pac:

NeinNeinNein · 12-02-2020 1:27pm

Brendan Bendar wrote: »

Hmmm. Patio brush did it for me.

€17.00 in Lidl.

40 grit sandpaper is a handy alternative if the missus happens to outside using the brush to scrub the decking at the time.

Urethral Buttercup · 12-02-2020 3:02pm

I'm telling you now lads. A dollop of 0.1% betamethasone fingered in and around the hoop gives a lovely tingling feeling.

EmmetSpiceland · 12-02-2020 3:08pm

Urethral Buttercup wrote: »

I'm telling you now lads. A dollop of 0.1% betamethasone fingered in and around the hoop gives a lovely tingling feeling.

But at what “cost”, U? There has to be a downside here.

Brendan Bendar · 12-02-2020 3:18pm

Just busted out a floury semi-solid club of ripe midden, the size an shape of a litre can of Pedigree Chum..needed a tip round the bend.

Ush1 · 12-02-2020 3:22pm

NeinNeinNein wrote: »

40 grit sandpaper is a handy alternative if the missus happens to outside using the brush to scrub the decking at the time.

Cheese grater on your balloon knot can work also. Just get all the clagnut off before making the red cheddar nachos.

EmmetSpiceland · 12-02-2020 3:32pm

Ush1 wrote: »

Cheese grater on your balloon knot can work also. Just get all the clagnut off before making the red cheddar nachos.

That sounds awful. And “logistically” difficult. You know you can these little graters that you use for making things like hot chocolate. That would work much better.

Aglomerado · 12-02-2020 3:33pm

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

That sounds awful. And “logistically” difficult. You know you can these little graters that you use for making things like hot chocolate. That would work much better.

...and provide plenty of 'chocolate':pac:

NeinNeinNein · 12-02-2020 4:01pm

Brendan Bendar wrote: »

Just busted out a floury semi-solid club of ripe midden, the size an shape of a litre can of Pedigree Chum..needed a tip round the bend.

Impressive, Brendan. Highly effective description of scale.

Ush1 · 12-02-2020 8:10pm

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

That sounds awful. And “logistically” difficult. You know you can these little graters that you use for making things like hot chocolate. That would work much better.

I hear you Emmet but it all depends on how "heavy" the shelling is. This is after a week on the porter job, there's been lots of slurry, formed a hard crust, centimetre or 2 deep, resembling the surface of Mars.

I know thread regular Brenner resorts to hot liquids to "soften" the build up but I'm just not that deviant. No no, de-dangleberry like a man. Squat down, cheese grater to hand and plenty of elbow grease.

Bullocks · 12-02-2020 8:20pm

Ush1 wrote: »

I hear you Emmet but it all depends on how "heavy" the shelling is. This is after a week on the porter job, there's been lots of slurry, formed a hard crust, centimetre or 2 deep, resembling the surface of Mars.

I know thread regular Brenner resorts to hot liquids to "soften" the build up but I'm just not that deviant. No no, de-dangleberry like a man. Squat down, cheese grater to hand and plenty of elbow grease.

I have cattle in slats for maybe 5 months of the year that wouldn't have a 2cm crust built up, and if I do there is only one solution. Let them out to nice grass and it'll fall off "au natural" in the sun and rain

Brendan Bendar · 12-02-2020 8:24pm

NeinNeinNein wrote: »

Impressive, Brendan. Highly effective description of scale.

Yep, had worked a good dollop of ‘Ringbuster’ in earlier on.

Fairly stretched the drawstring.

Brendan Bendar · 12-02-2020 8:31pm

Ush1 wrote: »

I hear you Emmet but it all depends on how "heavy" the shelling is. This is after a week on the porter job, there's been lots of slurry, formed a hard crust, centimetre or 2 deep, resembling the surface of Mars.

I know thread regular Brenner resorts to hot liquids to "soften" the build up but I'm just not that deviant. No no, de-dangleberry like a man. Squat down, cheese grater to hand and plenty of elbow grease.

No, steam is the method of choice.

Squat over a good kettle, muzzle to spout, not too close, let the matter soften and then clear with a dishcloth or rough sided dish sponge.

The badge will be shining like a newly minted Euron.

Ush1 · 12-02-2020 8:52pm

Brendan Bendar wrote: »

No, steam is the method of choice.

Squat over a good kettle, muzzle to spout, not too close, let the matter soften and then clear with a dishcloth or rough sided dish sponge.

The badge will be shining like a newly minted Euron.

Hot agitated drittle? I'd say you'd sow a button on the fent!

Urethral Buttercup · 12-02-2020 10:24pm

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

But at what “cost”, U? There has to be a downside here.

I don't be looking at my hoop in the mirror Emmet, so hard to tell. What I will say is that I have less power in the clinch, the chord on the purse don't pull so tight so to speak, feels a little like chitting between two squares of loosely fitting foam. But I'm not sure that's the steroids or something else.

Hotblack Desiato · 12-02-2020 11:04pm

Bullocks wrote: »

I have cattle in slats for maybe 5 months of the year that wouldn't have a 2cm crust built up

Yeah but they're eating a lot more fibre.

12-02-2020 11:13pm

Urethral Buttercup wrote: »

I don't be looking at my hoop in the mirror Emmet, so hard to tell. What I will say is that I have less power in the clinch, the chord on the purse don't pull so tight so to speak, feels a little like chitting between two squares of loosely fitting foam. But I'm not sure that's the steroids or something else.

The posting style is familiar alright. The brotherhood of one unite, or undiagnosed schizoid personality disorder. The latter seems more factually correct.

On topic, I relieved myself earlier like every other member of the human race. There is a novel in the works.

JohnnyFlash · 12-02-2020 11:20pm

Ush1 wrote: »

Hot agitated drittle? I'd say you'd sow a button on the fent!

You could pin a medal on it, I’d imagine.

Slideways · 13-02-2020 1:42am

[Deleted User] wrote: »

On topic, I relieved myself earlier like every other member of the human race. There is a novel in the works.

If it was anything like the being it came from I would imagine it was rather voluminous, coupled with heavy wind in between bouts of dry nutty residue and full flowing noxious midden

EmmetSpiceland · 13-02-2020 12:41pm

Slideways wrote: »

If it was anything like the being it came from I would imagine it was rather voluminous, coupled with heavy wind in between bouts of dry nutty residue and full flowing noxious midden

Ah, leave him be. He’s just a bit sour as yer man, Urethra Franklin, got on his “case” over a post he made in the “Conor McGregor” thread.

Anyway, I’ve had a dreadful morning. You know you’re on to a “bad one” when you feel the need to crap after you’ve showered. Well, I ignored the call straight away. I’ll admit it, I was being stubborn but, trust me, I paid for my contumaciousness. Paid dearly.

I’ve suffered worse when holding things on the “clutch”, so didn’t think anything of it. Was only once the bagel was in the toaster than things really took a turn. I couldn’t go straight away so I was doing that foot to foot “hop” that you really hope actually does something.

Hightailed it to the jacks as soon as I could. I’m pretty sure the “turtle head” had breached the hull and was, at least 3/4” cold. Once I sat the mudslide commenced. The initial load was solid enough but it started to turn “mushy”. This is where I think things went wrong.

Now, just to let you know, I wasn’t aware that anything was wrong. I made that “dirty” discovery when it was time to complete the paperwork. Good god. Now, I’m a “folder”, I don’t go in for the “bunched” paper model. Folding saved my life, in this situation. If I had bunched my hand would have been “compromised”, and smelly.

I’m still at a loss as to what happened. If anyone recalls my problem with “the garrotte” they’ll know I’ve been through cleaning of the barse, and surrounding areas. This was far messier and there was no, obvious cause, that last time two hairs had tangled and just wreaked havoc.

All sides of the hole were thick with “mess”. Thick with it. Once again I was left cursing the hair. I couldn’t get clean. I even employed the use of the kid’s “wet wipes” but still wasn’t up to, what I would call, an acceptable “standard”.

That left me only one “option”. Back to the shower. I was raging. Obviously, I didn’t go through the whole process again, I just focused on, thoroughly, cleaning out “between the cheeks”.

Well late, as a result. Very bad start. Had to proffer a lame excuse of “sleeping in”. But at least I’m clean.

Bullocks · 13-02-2020 1:26pm

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

Ah, leave him be. He’s just a bit sour as yer man, Urethra Franklin, got on his “case” over a post he made in the “Conor McGregor” thread.

Anyway, I’ve had a dreadful morning. You know you’re on to a “bad one” when you feel the need to crap after you’ve showered. Well, I ignored the call straight away. I’ll admit it, I was being stubborn but, trust me, I paid for my contumaciousness. Paid dearly.

I’ve suffered worse when holding things on the “clutch”, so didn’t think anything of it. Was only once the bagel was in the toaster than things really took a turn. I couldn’t go straight away so I was doing that foot to foot “hop” that you really hope actually does something.

Hightailed it to the jacks as soon as I could. I’m pretty sure the “turtle head” had breached the hull and was, at least 3/4” cold. Once I sat the mudslide commenced. The initial load was solid enough but it started to turn “mushy”. This is where I think things went wrong.

Now, just to let you know, I wasn’t aware that anything was wrong. I made that “dirty” discovery when it was time to complete the paperwork. Good god. Now, I’m a “folder”, I don’t go in for the “bunched” paper model. Folding saved my life, in this situation. If I had bunched my hand would have been “compromised”, and smelly.

I’m still at a loss as to what happened. If anyone recalls my problem with “the garrotte” they’ll know I’ve been through cleaning of the barse, and surrounding areas. This was far messier and there was no, obvious cause, that last time two hairs had tangled and just wreaked havoc.

All sides of the hole were thick with “mess”. Thick with it. Once again I was left cursing the hair. I couldn’t get clean. I even employed the use of the kid’s “wet wipes” but still wasn’t up to, what I would call, an acceptable “standard”.

That left me only one “option”. Back to the shower. I was raging. Obviously, I didn’t go through the whole process again, I just focused on, thoroughly, cleaning out “between the cheeks”.

Well late, as a result. Very bad start. Had to proffer a lame excuse of “sleeping in”. But at least I’m clean.

Bidet, Emmet. That's what you should treat yourself to. By the sounds of things you would get plenty of use out of it. If you hang on maybe the greens will bring out a grant for them to save the rainforest

What's the etiquette here??

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