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Deal breakers and turn-off's in dating!

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    #1172
    KiKi III
    Registered Users Posts: 2,653 ✭✭✭KiKi III


    Hammer89 wrote: »
    When their bio is inundated with the fact they have kids as well. I don't know what the opposite of Catfishing somebody is but some of them go a bit OTT in letting potential mates know that they have children. "Hiya me name's Mags. Swipe left if ye can't handle me kids coz I've loads."

    It seems very hard to strike the right balance between too much detail, not enough detail, and details that are so generic as to be meaningless.

    Right now mine says: You might be beautiful, but they’re keeping my idea on file. In. A filing. Cabinet.

    Because I still think that ad is hilarious and I can’t be arsed putting any more thought into it than that at the moment.


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    #1173
    Hammer89
    Registered Users Posts: 3,003 ✭✭✭Hammer89


    Tell me how wrote: »
    To be fair to them, they're probably sick of wasting a couple of evenings messaging a lad or even going on a first date before breaking the news and seeing them disappear.

    That's very empathetic and I agree.


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    #1174
    Church on Tuesday
    Registered Users Posts: 3,858 ✭✭✭Church on Tuesday


    Hammer89 wrote: »
    That's very empathetic and I agree.

    Agreed. I much prefer women to be up front about this stuff.


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    #1175
    Ficheall
    Registered Users Posts: 9,027 ✭✭✭Ficheall


    Hammer89 wrote: »
    When their bio is inundated with the fact they have kids as well. I don't know what the opposite of Catfishing somebody is but some of them go a bit OTT in letting potential mates know that they have children. "Hiya me name's Mags. Swipe left if ye can't handle me kids coz I've loads."
    That's great! Far better than the

    "That's my niece in the pic, btw"
    Don't fecking use that pic then?


    KiKi III wrote: »
    It seems very hard to strike the right balance between too much detail, not enough detail, and details that are so generic as to be meaningless.

    Right now mine says: You might be beautiful, but they’re keeping my idea on file. In. A filing. Cabinet.
    Saw that line yesterday, I remember smiling at it.


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    #1176
    lainey_d_123
    Registered Users Posts: 2,385 ✭✭✭lainey_d_123


    Ficheall wrote: »
    That's great! Far better than the

    "That's my niece in the pic, btw"
    Don't fecking use that pic then?




    Saw that line yesterday, I remember smiling at it.

    I always feel coldly cynical about men who use pics with little kids on Tinder. Feels weirdly manipulative to me. 'Here I am with my cute little baby niece, aren't I such a lovely sweet guy?'


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    #1177
    Ficheall
    Registered Users Posts: 9,027 ✭✭✭Ficheall


    Just had a very brief dialogue with an American lady who's planning to pop over in the near future. I mentioned I didn't drink, she said but it's the national pastime, I said "That's a bit racist! :p", then she said that was offensive and unmatched me. The one that got away, eh..


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    #1178
    Ficheall
    Registered Users Posts: 9,027 ✭✭✭Ficheall


    lainey_d_123 wrote: »
    I always feel coldly cynical about men who use pics with little kids on Tinder. Feels weirdly manipulative to me. 'Here I am with my cute little baby niece, aren't I such a lovely sweet guy?'
    And puppies?


    Presumably the women are doing it for the same reason. That and the ones showing off their good child-bearing hips. Or at least, I assume that's what they're at.


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    #1179
    One eyed Jack
    Registered Users Posts: 23,695 ✭✭✭✭One eyed Jack


    Ficheall wrote: »
    Just had a very brief dialogue with an American lady who's planning to pop over in the near future. I mentioned I didn't drink, she said but it's the national pastime, I said "That's a bit racist! :p", then she said that was offensive and unmatched me. The one that got away, eh..


    Doing your bit for international relations there Ficheall :D


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    #1180
    KiKi III
    Registered Users Posts: 2,653 ✭✭✭KiKi III


    Ficheall wrote: »
    That's great! Far better than the

    "That's my niece in the pic, btw"
    Don't fecking use that pic then?




    Saw that line yesterday, I remember smiling at it.

    But which way did you swipe?


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    #1181
    Mister Vain
    Registered Users Posts: 6,042 ✭✭✭Mister Vain


    lainey_d_123 wrote: »
    I always feel coldly cynical about men who use pics with little kids on Tinder. Feels weirdly manipulative to me. 'Here I am with my cute little baby niece, aren't I such a lovely sweet guy?'
    Reminds me of this. :D

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d3NLE2eZurs


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    #1182
    Church on Tuesday
    Registered Users Posts: 3,858 ✭✭✭Church on Tuesday


    lainey_d_123 wrote: »
    I always feel coldly cynical about men who use pics with little kids on Tinder. Feels weirdly manipulative to me. 'Here I am with my cute little baby niece, aren't I such a lovely sweet guy?'

    I honestly don't know why any gender would be posing with kids TBH. Very odd.

    I mean, it's a dating site. Keep it to pics of you, your friends or adult siblings.


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    #1183
    SusieBlue
    Registered Users Posts: 8,029 ✭✭✭SusieBlue


    Church on Tuesday wrote: »
    I honestly don't know why any gender would be posing with kids TBH. Very odd.

    I mean, it's a dating site. Keep it to pics of you, your friends or adult siblings.

    I can’t even count how many profiles on Tinder I’ve come across with pictures of just their kids, scenery and food.

    Like yes your steak looks lovely, so does the beach over in Lanzarote and your 2 year old is quite cute but I am not going to swipe right to any of those things.

    Even worse is when you get excited because you get a super like and it’s a picture of some mountain.. like wtf????
    If I am putting myself out there I expect the other person to do the same, this BS of ‘I like to keep my identity/pics private’ doesn’t wash with me.


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    #1184
    Ficheall
    Registered Users Posts: 9,027 ✭✭✭Ficheall


    One eyed Jack wrote: »
    Doing your bit for international relations there Ficheall :D
    My last five dates were in Poland, Croatia, Germany, Poland, Austria, with an American lady. Not much more I can do, Jack :P
    A date in Galway would be nice, for a change :rolleyes:

    I do have my ticket for a flight to Venice next week, but probably not going to get anyone organised for a date that soon, plus coronavirus fears etc, so that'll go to waste..


    Edit: Apologies - that is not meant to come across as braggy, apologies. I can work remotely and do take advantage of that, but am broke af (another turn-off :P). Part of the reason for my ending previous.


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    #1185
    Ficheall
    Registered Users Posts: 9,027 ✭✭✭Ficheall


    KiKi III wrote: »
    But which way did you swipe?
    Honestly can't remember. Statistically speaking, it was probably right. Good job, you :p


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    #1186
    Princess Calla
    Registered Users Posts: 5,833 ✭✭✭Princess Calla


    lainey_d_123 wrote: »

    If you don't mind me saying, it seems that the problem with your partner isn't so much that he doesn't drive but more that he takes it for granted that you do it all and doesn't support you much. If I had a partner who drove me around everywhere, I would stay off the drink if they had to (out of solidarity), try to be a good navigator (or at least good company) on long car rides instead of dozing off, and I certainly wouldn't expect them to pay for the car and insurance and petrol out of 'their' own money if the car was used for the whole family.

    To be honest I drive him nowhere, if he's in the car so are the kids :)

    I just think it's very short sighted of anyone to say it's not a skill I need to learn.

    I can completely understand someone having it as a deal breaker.
    Am I happy in my relationship? Yes.
    Would I enter another relationship with a non driver? Absolutely not!


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    #1187
    lainey_d_123
    Registered Users Posts: 2,385 ✭✭✭lainey_d_123


    Princess Calla wrote: »
    To be honest I drive him nowhere, if he's in the car so are the kids :)

    I just think it's very short sighted of anyone to say it's not a skill I need to learn.

    I can completely understand someone having it as a deal breaker.
    Am I happy in my relationship? Yes.
    Would I enter another relationship with a non driver? Absolutely not!

    I don't see how it's short sighted. Have already explained why it simply doesn't register for a lot of people as something necessary. Perhaps if it was like in the States where they all learn at or through school for free/cheap but it's really expensive here. Worth it if you plan to buy a car and drive every day, not so much if you're doing it just to have the piece of paper. I definitely wouldn't feel safe driving if I barely drove for years after passing my test and would probably need a series of lessons to build up confidence again, so why not just wait and learn if I ever needed to?

    Anyway, dealbreakers.... was out with friends the other night and one of them brought along her new fella who was a ridiculously fussy eater. Wouldn't eat anything 'foreign', veg had to be cooked a certain way, basically couldn't handle anything he wasn't used to. It wasn't an allergy or intolerance, he just had a hugely limited range of food he would eat. That would absolutely do my head in....it felt like sitting in a restaurant with a toddler.


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    #1188
    MarkY91
    Registered Users Posts: 7,067 ✭✭✭MarkY91


    bluewolf wrote: »
    I think everyone should be able to drive as well

    Does that mean everyone should own a car? What if public transport and cycling gets me everywhere I normally go to within 30 minutes?

    The only time I ever feel I could do with s car is when traveling around Ireland. I'd love to drive around instead of relying on paddywagon buses for tours.

    The other 99% of the time, a car would just make me poorer, fatter and lazier for what? Getting to college 3 minutes quicker than on my bike?


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    #1189
    Urethral Buttercup
    Closed Accounts Posts: 133 ✭✭Urethral Buttercup


    Plenty of flesh on her booty and not afraid of having it spit on/slathered. Must love spicy food.


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    #1190
    JupiterKid
    Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 12,631 Mod ✭✭✭✭JupiterKid


    If they’re into S&M in a big way. Nope, not my scene...

    11352264_383687268488209_1830532105_n.jpg?_nc_ht=scontent-atl3-1.cdninstagram.com&_nc_cat=101&_nc_ohc=860Bcq8d_dAAX-lTlt3&oh=28fa6f2ded1fda7e0cde71509c30050e&oe=5EDACA48


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    #1191
    jaxxx
    Registered Users Posts: 3,230 ✭✭✭jaxxx


    lainey_d_123 wrote: »
    I don't see how it's short sighted. Have already explained why it simply doesn't register for a lot of people as something necessary. Perhaps if it was like in the States where they all learn at or through school for free/cheap but it's really expensive here. Worth it if you plan to buy a car and drive every day, not so much if you're doing it just to have the piece of paper. I definitely wouldn't feel safe driving if I barely drove for years after passing my test and would probably need a series of lessons to build up confidence again, so why not just wait and learn if I ever needed to?

    Anyway, dealbreakers.... was out with friends the other night and one of them brought along her new fella who was a ridiculously fussy eater. Wouldn't eat anything 'foreign', veg had to be cooked a certain way, basically couldn't handle anything he wasn't used to. It wasn't an allergy or intolerance, he just had a hugely limited range of food he would eat. That would absolutely do my head in....it felt like sitting in a restaurant with a toddler.


    As someone who has a limited food palate, don't be so quick to judge. Yes some people can be fussy for the sake of being fussy or because they're complete c{}nts. Some of us though have no choice. Just something to consider.


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    #1192
    Lyan
    Registered Users Posts: 220 ✭✭Lyan


    Girls who write about dealbreakers and turns-off on their profile.

    I also don't like it when they keep talking about their exes at the start. Good chance they are still attached to them, but if not it still isn't something I want to hear about right away.


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    #1193
    Greyfox
    Registered Users Posts: 3,737 ✭✭✭Greyfox


    jaxxx wrote: »
    As someone who has a limited food palate, don't be so quick to judge. Yes some people can be fussy for the sake of being fussy or because they're complete c{}nts. Some of us though have no choice. Just something to consider.

    The majority are just cowards not willing to try something new. It's a pain when you want to cook something for people. I understand people not liking things but turning common things down you haven't properly tried is silly


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    #1194
    Feisar
    Registered Users Posts: 6,614 ✭✭✭Feisar


    JupiterKid wrote: »
    If they’re into S&M in a big way. Nope, not my scene...

    11352264_383687268488209_1830532105_n.jpg?_nc_ht=scontent-atl3-1.cdninstagram.com&_nc_cat=101&_nc_ohc=860Bcq8d_dAAX-lTlt3&oh=28fa6f2ded1fda7e0cde71509c30050e&oe=5EDACA48

    Dated a lady that was big into that stuff, tis fun as a novelty however if it's the only way one gets off it becomes a bit onerous. Plus the want to continually push the boundaries and you end up in some weird places!

    First they came for the socialists...



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    #1195
    lainey_d_123
    Registered Users Posts: 2,385 ✭✭✭lainey_d_123


    jaxxx wrote: »
    As someone who has a limited food palate, don't be so quick to judge. Yes some people can be fussy for the sake of being fussy or because they're complete c{}nts. Some of us though have no choice. Just something to consider.

    See, I don't understand this. I already said that intolerances are so on are grand, or obviously any kind of medical issue. What is a 'limited palette' if it isn't just a synonym for fussy? Why do you not have a choice?


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    #1196
    the purple tin
    Registered Users Posts: 10,943 ✭✭✭✭the purple tin


    Breaking wind too early in a relationship. Let rip in the first month or two and you might 'blow it'.


    I always let my girlfriends parp in front of me first, then you have the moral highground.
    For instance I moved in with a gf years back and she would always leave the room to play the bum-trumpet. I gave it the caring bf bit and told her she didn't have to leave the room, we should be comfortable with each other about it. She agreed and started to parp in my company which was akin to the Japanese attacking Pearl Harbour; she had just awakened the sleeping giant.


    From then on if she ever complained to me about living in an industrial wind tunnel I woud act wounded and say 'excuse me, but as I recall it was you who started it'. wink.png


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    #1197
    KiKi III
    Registered Users Posts: 2,653 ✭✭✭KiKi III


    the purple tin wrote: »
    Breaking wind too early in a relationship. Let rip in the first month or two and you might 'blow it'.


    I always let my girlfriends parp in front of me first, then you have the moral highground.
    For instance I moved in with a gf years back and she would always leave the room to play the bum-trumpet. I gave it the caring bf bit and told her she didn't have to leave the room, we should be comfortable with each other about it. She agreed and started to parp in my company which was akin to the Japanese attacking Pearl Harbour; she had just awakened the sleeping giant.


    From then on if she ever complained to me about living in an industrial wind tunnel I woud act wounded and say 'excuse me, but as I recall it was you who started it'. wink.png

    You sound like a catch.


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    #1198
    the purple tin
    Registered Users Posts: 10,943 ✭✭✭✭the purple tin


    KiKi III wrote: »
    You sound like a catch.
    Sorry, I'm spoken for :P


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    #1199
    EmmetSpiceland
    Registered Users Posts: 10,601 ✭✭✭✭EmmetSpiceland


    the purple tin wrote: »
    Breaking wind too early in a relationship. Let rip in the first month or two and you might 'blow it'.

    I always let my girlfriends parp in front of me first, then you have the moral highground.
    For instance I moved in with a gf years back and she would always leave the room to play the bum-trumpet. I gave it the caring bf bit and told her she didn't have to leave the room, we should be comfortable with each other about it. She agreed and started to parp in my company which was akin to the Japanese attacking Pearl Harbour; she had just awakened the sleeping giant.

    From then on if she ever complained to me about living in an industrial wind tunnel I woud act wounded and say 'excuse me, but as I recall it was you who started it'. wink.png

    A bold “strategy”, P.

    I remember the early days with an ex-girlfriend from a long while back now. I was getting pains and those “inward” farts from holding them in.

    Used to have to “pretend” to go for a slash just to vent. Went on for weeks.

    Eventually there came a time when I wasn’t worried about it. I certainly wasn’t waiting to see who would “brake” first.

    “It is not blood that makes you Irish but a willingness to be part of the Irish nation” - Thomas Davis



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    #1200
    Leg End Reject
    Registered Users Posts: 16,601 ✭✭✭✭Leg End Reject


    Ah farting, the last veneer of politeness in a relationship. We all get caught at some stage, even if it's while we're asleep.
    https://forumofgames.com/index.php




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    #1201
    Widdershins
    Registered Users Posts: 10,633 ✭✭✭✭Widdershins


    Hehe. An ex boyfriend used to pick his nose and wipe the snot on either his pants or whatever was beside him . Not me obviously.

    I couldn't care less about farting, it's involuntary and just natural gas. I just ignore it. I very rarely do it but probably because I don't really eat meat.


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