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Can women have any truly platonic male friends?

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135

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    #62
    NSAman
    Registered Users Posts: 3,388 ✭✭✭NSAman


    moritz1234 wrote: »
    There's a lot of lads lying on here.
    I've 100% no doubt that the women are telling the truth, but no way are the men telling the truth, no way.
    Why?


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    #63
    decky1
    Registered Users Posts: 975 ✭✭✭decky1


    I thought they were , trusted both of them , Wrong again.


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    #64
    moritz1234
    Registered Users Posts: 140 ✭✭moritz1234


    NSAman wrote: »
    Why?

    A scorpion, which cannot swim, asks a frog to carry it across a river on the frog's back. The frog hesitates, afraid of being stung by the scorpion, but the scorpion argues that if it did that, they would both drown. ... Midway across the river, the scorpion stings the frog anyway, dooming them both.


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    #65
    Obvious Desperate Breakfasts
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,474 ✭✭✭Obvious Desperate Breakfasts


    nullzero wrote: »
    That or people just sharing their own experiences without projecting their feelings onto anyone.

    Well, the following for example isn’t just limited to that one poster’s experience:
    Earthhorse wrote: »
    It's certainly possible but it's rare that it's purely platonic for guys.


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    #66
    NSAman
    Registered Users Posts: 3,388 ✭✭✭NSAman


    moritz1234 wrote: »
    A scorpion, which cannot swim, asks a frog to carry it across a river on the frog's back. The frog hesitates, afraid of being stung by the scorpion, but the scorpion argues that if it did that, they would both drown. ... Midway across the river, the scorpion stings the frog anyway, dooming them both.

    WE are talking male and female friends here of the human varierty... not inter-species.


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    #67
    Bobblehats
    Registered Users Posts: 4,707 ✭✭✭Bobblehats


    Anyone else think Plato looks like Paul galvin?


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    #68
    Earthhorse
    Registered Users Posts: 14,715 ✭✭✭✭Earthhorse


    Obvious Desperate Breakfasts wrote: »
    Well, the following for example isn’t just limited to that one poster’s experience:

    Depends what you mean. I obviously have plenty of friends whom I've discussed such matters with over the years. Most guys I know would say the same as me. So not just my experience but their experiences shared with me.


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    #69
    NSAman
    Registered Users Posts: 3,388 ✭✭✭NSAman


    Earthhorse wrote: »
    Depends what you mean. I obviously have plenty of friends whom I've discussed such matters with over the years. Most guys I know would say the same as me. So not just my experience but their experiences shared with me.

    So you have no female friends?


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    #70
    nkl12xtw5goz70
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,497 ✭✭✭nkl12xtw5goz70


    Genesis Melodic Thermos wrote: »
    I mean, I'veprobably given a few moments absent minded speculation about what it'd be like to fcuk pretty much everyone I've ever had a conversation with, I'd imagine a lot of people have a similar interior landscape.

    Completely agreed. Most people are loath to admit these interior private thoughts for reasons of public respectability. That's entirely understandable, as far as it goes -- but anyone who claims not to have sexual thoughts about anyone besides their partner is most likely lying. Same-sex attractions are common too -- one study found that 60 percent of heterosexual women have had sexual thoughts about other women.


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    #71
    Earthhorse
    Registered Users Posts: 14,715 ✭✭✭✭Earthhorse


    NSAman wrote: »
    So you have no female friends?

    Read my posts on this thread and discover the truth for yourself!


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    #72
    Bigbagofcans
    Registered Users Posts: 1,164 ✭✭✭Bigbagofcans


    NSAman wrote: »
    WE are talking male and female friends here of the human varierty... not inter-species.

    We're talking about a female frog and a male scorpion :D


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    #73
    NSAman
    Registered Users Posts: 3,388 ✭✭✭NSAman


    Bigbagofcans wrote: »
    We're talking about a female frog and a male scorpion :D

    Such Racism.... why is it always a French woman?


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    #74
    banie01
    Registered Users Posts: 16,488 ✭✭✭✭banie01


    I honestly expected the OP to Mr Fegelien...


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    #75
    Bobblehats
    Registered Users Posts: 4,707 ✭✭✭Bobblehats


    NSAman wrote: »
    Such Racism.... why is it always a French woman?

    Who’s a french woman?


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    #76
    sbsquarepants
    Registered Users Posts: 11,812 ✭✭✭✭sbsquarepants


    Genesis Melodic Thermos wrote: »

    I get that people are probably operating by different definitions of what it means to them but like I said above there's a peculiarly high and purist standard applied to this that isn't to other relationships.

    Probably, i'm taking it to mean a relationship where there is no sexual attraction, as opposed to any sexual activity.

    If you have never touched your friend, but think they have a really sexy arse, is that platonic?


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    #77
    Bigbagofcans
    Registered Users Posts: 1,164 ✭✭✭Bigbagofcans


    NSAman wrote: »
    Such Racism.... why is it always a French woman?

    Cos of their lovely frogs' legs.


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    #78
    moritz1234
    Registered Users Posts: 140 ✭✭moritz1234


    NSAman wrote: »
    Such Racism.... why is it always a French woman?

    When it comes to French women the bar is lowered (due to the accent), it would be from 3/10 upwards.


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    #79
    NSAman
    Registered Users Posts: 3,388 ✭✭✭NSAman


    sbsquarepants wrote: »
    Probably, i'm taking it to mean a relationship where there is no sexual attraction, as opposed to any sexual activity.

    If you have never touched your friend, but think they have a really sexy arse, is that platonic?

    Say it to them.... always a good ice breaker.

    Like you say to your own partner when she asks you "does this make my arse look big" your obvious reply is:

    "No honey, it doesn't look big... It looks ginormous"


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    #80
    Xertz
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,069 ✭✭✭Xertz


    I'm bi, so if this rule applied I'd basically be unable to have any friends at all or just have to go out with all of them.

    Of course you can have platonic friends! It's utter nonsense that men and women are incapable of just being friends. We seem to still have these puritanical nonsense notions that bubble up now and again from some archive that belongs in the 1600s.


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    #81
    Feisar
    Registered Users Posts: 6,608 ✭✭✭Feisar


    Xertz wrote: »
    I'm bi, so if this rule applied I'd basically be unable to have any friends at all or just have to go out with all of them.

    Of course you can have platonic friends! It's utter nonsense that men and women are incapable of just being friends. We seem to still have these puritanical nonsense notions that bubble up now and again from some archive that belongs in the 1600s.

    I have done or would have done all my female friends, YMMV

    First they came for the socialists...



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    #82
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    moritz1234 wrote: »
    A scorpion, which cannot swim, asks a frog to carry it across a river on the frog's back. The frog hesitates, afraid of being stung by the scorpion, but the scorpion argues that if it did that, they would both drown. ... Midway across the river, the scorpion stings the frog anyway, dooming them both.

    You left out the most relevant bit :p

    The dying frog asks the scorpion why it stung the frog despite knowing the consequence, to which the scorpion replies: "I couldn't help it. It's in my nature.


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    #83
    Porklife
    Registered Users Posts: 1,681 ✭✭✭Porklife


    I think it's only possible if you don't find your friends attractive. I have loads of male friends and they have all at one time or another tried it on with me, literally all of them. I have kissed/slept with a few who I found attractive but definitely did not want a relationship with! There was no real awkwardness afterwards and we went back to being friends.

    If you've been friends with somebody from a young age they tend to become more like a sibling to you even if they are attractive.

    If I meet someone now though, a work colleague for example and we become friends then hell yeah I can fancy them! I can also restrain myself and just be friends with them so of course it's possible. Will I fancy them though? Yes! If I find them attractive I will want to sleep with them but it doesn't have to affect the friendship. It would only affect the friendship if it was acted upon.

    I've a work mate who I get on like a house on fire with, he's sound as they come. He is really attractive too is the gorgeous girl he's marrying in May. Does it affect our friendship, the laugh we have at lunch together, nights out etc no, not one bit! I think he's attractive but he's taken so he's off the cards. I still find him really funny and great company though! but I'm also delighted for him that he's getting married because he's madly in love with his wife to be.


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    #84
    Xertz
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,069 ✭✭✭Xertz


    Isn't that just part of being human though? I mean you're inevitably going to find some of your friends attractive, but that does not translate into you jumping into bed with them or becoming some kind of sex pest. The vast majority of people are well able to respect the boundaries of people being in relationships, married, not interested or that they just do not want to move the friendly relationship into that space.

    Also it is definitely possible to have 'crossed that line' and then crossed it back again and still be good friends afterwards. I think we TOTALLY over-do this victorian notion of sex somehow being so unbelievably huge a deal that you have to immediately get married to someone afterwards.

    I mean, at the end of the day, if something did happen between you - and you're both sensible and mature about it - it's just one of those things and probably was a nice experience with someone you got on well with. Why does that mean you suddenly end up in some bizarrely awkward situation afterwards? Life moves on.

    Add to that that a small, but quite significant % of the population are probably gay or bisexual so, you've an additional dynamic going on there too where a sizeable number of people will have crushes on same-gender friends too. So it's more or less impossible to avoid the fact that humans are .. humans.

    My view of it is just be friends with who you want to be friends with and stop over thinking it! Life's way too short to be ruling out 50% of the population based on the fact you might have a bit of sexual chemistry with them.

    Why rule out a potentially great friendship ?!


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    #85
    sbsquarepants
    Registered Users Posts: 11,812 ✭✭✭✭sbsquarepants


    Porklife wrote: »

    I've a work mate who I get on like a house on fire with, he's sound as they come. He is really attractive too is the gorgeous girl he's marrying in May. Does it affect our friendship, the laugh we have at lunch together, nights out etc no, not one bit! I think he's attractive but he's taken so he's off the cards. I still find him really funny and great company though! but I'm also delighted for him that he's getting married because he's madly in love with his wife to be.

    Does that count as a platonic relationship?

    If so i've had plenty of those.

    I'm just not sure if "i would like to ride you, but i can't" counts.


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    #86
    Wibbs
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,074 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    moritz1234 wrote: »
    When it comes to French women the bar is lowered (due to the accent)
    No, it really isn't. Maybe in fantasyland, not in reality. An initially "sexy accent" can get very old, very quickly if someone is a pain in the fundament.

    Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.



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    #87
    Xertz
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,069 ✭✭✭Xertz


    I speak French and it usually just reminds me of a Drogheda accent, but I mean there's nothing unsexy about County Louth.


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    #88
    Bobblehats
    Registered Users Posts: 4,707 ✭✭✭Bobblehats


    My favourite pornstar had a french accent...I mean she’s Vietnamese; to look at but she had a french accent....


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    #89
    NSAman
    Registered Users Posts: 3,388 ✭✭✭NSAman


    Bobblehats wrote: »
    My favourite pornstar had a french accent...I mean she’s Vietnamese; to look at but she had a french accent....

    That's called Dubbing..;)


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    #90
    andekwarhola
    Registered Users Posts: 4,638 ✭✭✭andekwarhola


    I actually tend to agree with the idea that men might be slightly more unlikely to have platonic relationships with women than vice versa.

    Obviously this is an anecdotal and informal observation and won't be published as a scientific report so I'll just get it on record in advance that I've scant interest in long, declamatory arguments about it, especially from offended men who are more in tune with their inner saint than me.


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    #91
    Adyx
    Registered Users Posts: 2,997 ✭✭✭Adyx


    I, a male, have mostly platonic female friends. So yes.


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