Saying 'I Love you'...

Porklife · 27-01-2020 03:52PM

Leg End Reject wrote: »

It's a very quick turnaround from breaking up with someone you love to being married in 2 years.

Yep.. my thoughts exactly. I had my suspicions at the time that he still had feelings for her as he talked about her a alot and I must have been right. He is a lovely guy so I'm glad to see he's happy (well he was then, I haven't fb stalked him in a very long time!).

Bobblehats · 27-01-2020 03:58PM

Cee-Jay-Cee wrote: »

"I love you most" is the response to that.

I love him more but I love you mainly..

Leg End Reject · 27-01-2020 07:58PM

Porklife wrote: »

Yep.. my thoughts exactly. I had my suspicions at the time that he still had feelings for her as he talked about her a alot and I must have been right. He is a lovely guy so I'm glad to see he's happy (well he was then, I haven't fb stalked him in a very long time!).

Or he didn't want to be single.

Porklife · 27-01-2020 08:06PM

Bit extreme to get married though just to not be single!

Snails pace · 27-01-2020 08:06PM

I might have a slightly tougher outer shell because of things I've dealt with in my life. I'm in my mid 20's and I'm going out with a girl nearly a year and a half and I was seeing her 4 months before I asked her out. I finally built up the courage to say those three words last October. I'm not a stone or anything and I loved her long before it and I would do whatever I could for her. I suppose i just wasnt brave enough to say it. Everyone is different and have different types of emotions.

cannotlogin · 27-01-2020 08:16PM

If someone told me they love me, within 3 months, I'd run miles and question their sanity!

This may be why I am single :-)

Leg End Reject · 27-01-2020 08:19PM

Porklife wrote: »

Bit extreme to get married though just to not be single!

It worked though, he's not single!

Porklife · 27-01-2020 08:26PM

cannotlogin wrote: »

If someone told me they love me, within 3 months, I'd run miles and question their sanity!

This may be why I am single :-)

What if you met someone though who just floored you and you knew you loved them? There is no right or wrong timeframe, it's just when you feel it (and when you're brave enough to say it!)

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts · 27-01-2020 08:29PM

Church on Tuesday wrote: »

I think if you are a man you wait for the woman to say it first after a reasonably healthy period of time.

In my experience anyways. Men develop feelings a lot quicker than most women.

Until then just hang out and have fun.

I said it to my husband after a month of dating. Oops. It was far too soon but looks like I got away with it. He said it five months in.

cannotlogin · 27-01-2020 08:33PM

Porklife wrote: »

What if you met someone though who just floored you and you knew you loved them? There is no right or wrong timeframe, it's just when you feel it (and when you're brave enough to say it!)

I've been in love in the past and even though I realistically knew I would probably fall in love them from very early on, it usually takes me a while to know it as proper love rather than just lust, sexual attraction & enjoying their company.

It usually kind of slowly just dawns on me without actually realising when it happened.

Church on Tuesday · 27-01-2020 10:07PM

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts wrote: »

I said it to my husband after a month of dating. Oops. It was far too soon but looks like I got away with it. He said it five months in.

Depends how long you knew him before that.

Then again, we are human beings not machines.

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts · 28-01-2020 04:34AM

Church on Tuesday wrote: »

Depends how long you knew him before that.

Then again, we are human beings not machines.

For only that month! We met on a night out and started going out straight away.

Widdershins · 28-01-2020 08:49AM

Leg End Reject wrote: »

Men can be trigger happy with the "I love you", I was once told after 6 weeks. The earlier you hear it the more fickle they can be too, not all the time of course.

Alas, there's no gracious response to it, what can you say?

"Thanks"?

How does the first week sound.
Yes, it was fickleness (?). The person falls in love every day, apparently.
Its the difference between love and infatuation.
Ive notuced some people try to artificially build intensity ir intimacy because they think that's romance.
To me, love is shown by the couples who don't feel its a sacrifice to be there at the difficult times.

Church on Tuesday · 28-01-2020 11:47AM

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts wrote: »

For only that month! We met on a night out and started going out straight away.

It was meant to be

Just goes to show you

Vegeta · 28-01-2020 12:12PM

Gynoid wrote: »

I find the closer we are to sex the more I love yous there are. When he is shaping up for it, lots of I love yous. And then there is the honeymoon period of around a day, maximum two, when theres lots of I love yous. Any longer than 3 days without sex and I am greeted with a grunt Might as well be the bin man those days.
But it has only been 30 years so maybe he will become more romantic over time! I am not romantic really, my usual response is yeah, yeah, sure you do.

Mam is that you?

Keyzer · 28-01-2020 12:26PM

Best way to respond for the first time...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kdlRmWd_R7A

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5 · 28-01-2020 12:38PM

"Oh god look at that damp, I hate this cottage"

"Well I love the cottage....and I love you"

"Well that makes one of us. Look it's in the other corner too! What?"

So that could have gone better

about 3 weeks after we started sleeping together, though in fairness we did know each other a good while beforehand.

Anyways, nearly six years later I'm very happy he ignored that big ol red flag.

Porklife · 28-01-2020 01:25PM

Emilee Juicy Archivist wrote: »

"Oh god look at that damp, I hate this cottage"

"Well I love the cottage....and I love you"

"Well that makes one of us. Look it's in the other corner too! What?"

So that could have gone better about 3 weeks after we started sleeping together, though in fairness we did know each other a good while beforehand.

Anyways, nearly six years later I'm very happy he ignored that big ol red flag.

That's a sweet story Electro! Did you know in the cottage you actually loved him but were cranky about the mould or were you genuinely like... eewwww screw your love! It's mouldy in here!! :pac:

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5 · 28-01-2020 01:34PM

Porklife wrote: »

That's a sweet story Electro! Did you know in the cottage you actually loved him but were cranky about the mould or were you genuinely like... eewwww screw your love! It's mouldy in here!! :pac:

Oh no it was me doing the declaring and him talking about the mould!

Can't actually remember when he first said it to me, must not have been funny :pac:

We say it a lot I think, and it's nice. I get what people mean about it's just words and that actions are what matter but yanno. It's nice to have both.

Tony EH · 28-01-2020 01:36PM

Thelonious Monk wrote: »

They are just nonsense words imo. Behaviour and actions over time are what is important.

Words confirm the action's intent and complete the package.

Tony EH · 28-01-2020 01:40PM

Leg End Reject wrote: »

Men can be trigger happy with the "I love you", I was once told after 6 weeks. The earlier you hear it the more fickle they can be too, not all the time of course.

Alas, there's no gracious response to it, what can you say?

"Thanks"?

You can try this...

*Edit
I just saw that Keyzer beat me to it. Ah well...great minds and all that jazz.

Porklife · 28-01-2020 01:53PM

Emilee Juicy Archivist wrote: »

Oh no it was me doing the declaring and him talking about the mould!

Can't actually remember when he first said it to me, must not have been funny :pac:

We say it a lot I think, and it's nice. I get what people mean about it's just words and that actions are what matter but yanno. It's nice to have both.

Ah I see! Well you obviously won him over in time

I agree it's lovely, if not imperative to have both actions and words that correlate.
Words are not just words. They are a currency of sorts and they carry weight. They are the way in which human beings interact with each other and can be incredibly powerful. Even down to things like cursing.
Saying to somebody "you're a ****ing ****" holds a lot more weight than saying to somebody "you're silly". The former could end a relationship. Words are extremely valuable and can make people feel a multitude of emotions. It's similar with music, it evokes feelings inside us and often (for me anyway) the lyrics are what really speak to me.

Hearing someone you love say the words "I love you" is a beautiful thing (when done in the right context of course, not while inspecting mould in a damp cottage :pac:)

28-01-2020 03:04PM

To paraphrase Roxy music, I said, "It's love", you said, "Alright".

I know this drives people mad but, when you know you know it's about far more than saying the words.

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts · 28-01-2020 03:07PM

Church on Tuesday wrote: »

It was meant to be

Just goes to show you

What’s funny is my husband has just one brother who met his wife in the exact smoking area of the exact same club as where I met my husband, only five years earlier!

Bobblehats · 28-01-2020 03:25PM

mariaalice wrote: »

To paraphrase Roxy music, I said, "It's love", you said, "Alright".

I know this drives people mad but, when you know you know it's about far more than saying the words.

As the great poet laureate ronan keating said. “it’s only words”

Porklife · 28-01-2020 03:28PM

Bobblehats wrote: »

As the great poet laureate ronan keating said. “it’s only words”

I could KILL you for putting that godforsaken song in my head Bobblehats!!!!!!!!
It makes me want to scream!!

(although your poet laureate comment did make me laugh)

Sardonicat · 28-01-2020 03:30PM

mariaalice wrote: »

To paraphrase Roxy music, I said, "It's love", you said, "Alright".

I know this drives people mad but, when you know you know it's about far more than saying the words.

This. And when you know, you know.

Porklife · 28-01-2020 04:01PM

Sardonicat wrote: »

This. And when you know, you know.

..it's about far more than saying the words.

GaGa21 · 28-01-2020 05:26PM

Him : I love you

Me: I really, really like you.

Sorry, but some people are just not ready to say it at the same time.
I come from a single parent family, hadn't a good view of men and marriage in general so trust was an issue for me.

Luckily he actually did love me and didn't run away feeling rejected.

Celebrating our 9 year wedding anniversary shortly.

Bobblehats · 28-01-2020 05:37PM

Porklife wrote: »

..it's about far more than saying the words.

Agreed it is a mindset; an obsession. A fixation

A delusion...

Saying 'I Love you'...

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