Do Mother In Laws deserve their reputation?

limnam · 18-01-2020 05:27PM

Stateofyou wrote: »

Not everything is a joking matter, how is that a tangent. Lighten up!

You seem to be mixing up badly timed MIL jokes with MIL jokes.

JohnnyFlash · 18-01-2020 05:30PM

I don’t mind mine even though I rarely see her these days. It’s her thundering cow of a daughter who I have an issue with.

wakka12 · 18-01-2020 05:33PM

It's a funny one, like obviously becoming a MIL doesnt just turn an otherwise normal person ****ty, maybe the pressure of being assessed/judged as worthy enough to date their beloved son/daughter puts a strain on the relationship between the spouse and MIL

Plumbthedepths · 18-01-2020 05:33PM

Stateofyou wrote: »

Not everything is a joking matter, how is that a tangent. Lighten up!

I was in the fire service for several years. Humour even black humour is a coping measure and yes everything can be joked about.

Stateofyou · 18-01-2020 05:36PM

Plumbthedepths wrote: »

I was in the fire service for several years. Humour even black humour is a coping measure and yes everything can be joked about.

I get it ( and well done). But it's not everyone's coping mechanism because sometimes family causes a lot of harm. I myself would find it impossible to laugh about... to each their own so maybe don't say to someone else to lighten up?

decky1 · 18-01-2020 05:36PM

ah their not all bad although when mine came to visit us the mice used to throw themselves on the traps..

Jurgen Klopp · 18-01-2020 05:41PM

I wonder would a lot of it have come from the days where it was normal for a married couple to live with one set of parents for a while while saving or in some cases where they lived with a parent permanently like a man/woman marrying into a farm? There used be a lot of it with a woman marrying in where there was always war between teh wife and MIL

As least as far as the UK and Ireland goes anyways

Not sure what the view is in countries where it's still a thing for many generations to live under the roof

limnam · 18-01-2020 05:46PM

Jurgen Klopp wrote: »

I

Not sure what the view is in countries where it's still a thing for many generations to live under the roof

Italy for one, but they're rubbish at telling jokes.

mcgragger · 18-01-2020 05:46PM

eviltwin wrote: »

Mine doesn't. She is a wonderful person and I'm so lucky to have her.

My husband's mother in law though, she's a complete bitch.

Your husbands mother in law is your Mother!!

mcgragger · 18-01-2020 05:49PM

hatrickpatrick wrote: »

Why is there such a stereotype about mothers in law which doesn't seem to exist for fathers in law? I've always wondered this, doubhebags and overprotective parents know no gender boundaries in fairness...

Yeah its My father in law that's the car crash. Bumming low class tramp.
Mother in law is a diamond.

corks finest · 18-01-2020 05:51PM

Wrex wrote: »

Saw a bit of the Late Late last night, and watched the bit about the Mother in Law giving a kidney to his son in law.

There was a bit of the usual " oh the Mother in Law" giggles in the audience. Got me thinking, Mother in Law jokes have been popular for decades, and as they say, no smoke without fire.

Question is, do Mother in Laws deserve their negative reputation?

No but their bloody daughters do

eviltwin · 18-01-2020 05:54PM

mcgragger wrote: »

Your husbands mother in law is your Mother!!

Correct

18-01-2020 06:02PM

I love both my inlaws. My mother in law is a very loving and likeable person and I'm lucky to have her. I appreciate her even more after losing my own mother.

Edgware · 18-01-2020 07:13PM

decky1 wrote: »

ah their not all bad although when mine came to visit us the mice used to throw themselves on the traps..

We have a picture of her on the mantlepiece. It keeps the kids away from the fire

RhubarbCrumble · 18-01-2020 07:21PM

My mother in law is a horribly manipulative, entitled, demanding woman. She snaps her fingers and expects everybody to react.

The problem is that my other half does. All the time, and it's causing some serious friction between us which is starting to get worse and worse because he constantly puts her first and I quite honestly feel that sometimes I just don't seem to matter much to him.

My mother in law is in her 70's and is in very good health yet constantly plays the "Sure I'm only a poor old lady" card.
She can drive, but she won't, so my other half spends most of his time of ferrying her about the place.
He has 3 siblings but all 3 of them work to suit themselves and not her, and you know what? Fair play to them for putting themselves and their partners and families first.

My father in law is sadly no longer with us. He passed away a couple of years ago, but he was an absolute and utter gentleman. There really is no other word I could use to describe him. I never heard anyone have a bad word to say about him because you literally couldn't.

This sounds awful, but I honestly wish that it was her that was gone and that he was still here with us.

limnam · 18-01-2020 09:29PM

RhubarbCrumble wrote: »

My mother in law is a horribly manipulative, entitled, demanding woman. She snaps her fingers and expects everybody to react.

The problem is that my other half does. All the time, and it's causing some serious friction between us which is starting to get worse and worse because he constantly puts her first and I quite honestly feel that sometimes I just don't seem to matter much to him.

My mother in law is in her 70's and is in very good health yet constantly plays the "Sure I'm only a poor old lady" card.
She can drive, but she won't, so my other half spends most of his time of ferrying her about the place.
He has 3 siblings but all 3 of them work to suit themselves and not her, and you know what? Fair play to them for putting themselves and their partners and families first.

My father in law is sadly no longer with us. He passed away a couple of years ago, but he was an absolute and utter gentleman. There really is no other word I could use to describe him. I never heard anyone have a bad word to say about him because you literally couldn't.

This sounds awful, but I honestly wish that it was her that was gone and that he was still here with us.

Yeah but do you have any MIL jokes.

Ironicname · 18-01-2020 09:37PM

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts wrote:

If we applied that to everything, weâ€™d be very restricted in what we can joke about. People have trauma about a wide range of issues. Should humour in any of those areas therefore be off the table?

Exactly. A relative of mine was electrocuted and died. Should I campaign for every joke revolving around electricity or any cartoon that shows someone getting electrocuted and turning into an x-ray banned?

Do you think it's fair that I should see that and for it to remind me of my relative?

Raconteuse · 18-01-2020 09:38PM

People have the right to find whatever they want funny, but others have the right not to. The former sometimes don't respect the latter - yet they expect their position to be respected.

However, those who find certain humour offensive can avoid it.

andekwarhola · 18-01-2020 10:30PM

It's just a comedy riff, which in itself can be funny depending on the joke. You don't necessarily have to trawl through history for examples of mother-in-laws that don't fit the category. I like my MIL, not least because she's got a Prince Philip type line of un-PC comments that I secretly look forward to hearing.

crazy maisie · 19-01-2020 12:40AM

No they don't. I had the most wonderful mother in law. She was welcoming, kind, helpful and most of all a loving and accepting woman. She nurtured a wonderful, funny and caring son who I got to marry and have kids with. I miss her so much (rip).

But sometimes I wonder about my husband and his mother in law (my mum). He got the rough end of it in some ways....a lot of issues there.....

19-01-2020 12:53AM

You think you have it hard? I have _two_ of them!!!

Thankfully though both salt of the earth wonderful people. So no complaints here

Still waters · 19-01-2020 10:23AM

Trenton Happy Barber wrote: »

Pretty much like thick Paddy jokes and the like.

Lazy jokes made by nasty people for a thick audience, with everyone involved mistaking recognition of bigoted stereotypes for a sense of humour.

Trenton Happy Barber wrote: »

Well I hope ye manage it okay, didn't mean to offend xx

Trenton Happy Barber wrote: »

I'm hardly taking them seriously. They're just not funny. Maybe the first one was but it's the same joke again and again.

Hey. Hey. I like your avatar.....NOT.

Laugh at that joke or you're offended, by your logic.

Stateofyou wrote: »

Ah come on, that's fairly dismissive. Some have toxic in laws that have caused huge harm to mental health and it's no laughing matter. To be told to "lighten up" in the face of that is not something you'd say in real life?

Stateofyou wrote: »

Not everything is a joking matter, how is that a tangent. Lighten up!

Stateofyou wrote: »

I get it ( and well done). But it's not everyone's coping mechanism because sometimes family causes a lot of harm. I myself would find it impossible to laugh about... to each their own so maybe don't say to someone else to lighten up?

Raconteuse wrote: »

People have the right to find whatever they want funny, but others have the right not to. The former sometimes don't respect the latter - yet they expect their position to be respected.

However, those who find certain humour offensive can avoid it.

Fcukin hell it must be awful being this miserable

Stateofyou · 19-01-2020 10:25AM

Still waters wrote: »

Fcukin hell it must be awful being this miserable

That's a lot of quotes there, seem pretty miserable about it yourself. You should lighten up!

Still waters · 19-01-2020 10:31AM

Stateofyou wrote: »

That's a lot of quotes there, seem pretty miserable about it yourself. You should lighten up!

Easy there, you might hurt my mental health with your mean words

YFlyer · 19-01-2020 10:31AM

banie01 wrote: »

I've had a very fraught relationship with my 1st MiL she could be, and sometimes still is a vindictive, childish and selfish bully.

I will hand on heart say, she has changed.
Don't buy the leopards don't change their spots spiel.
Granted it was only after the death of her daughter, but she has been and is an integral part of what's left of my family and was a great comfort (and I hope I returned that to her).

It's 12yrs since we lost her daughter, a little more recent than that, that we came to terms with our own differences and even though I've remarried...

She is still my MiL, I have 2 now and blending families isn't just about the kids...
It's the baggage too

She is fighting cancer at the moment...
She's doing ok, but for the 1st time in 27yrs many of them hating her...
I'm terrified of losing her.

MiLs are what ya make of them...
MiLFs are where it's at

Would you... still.

Stateofyou · 19-01-2020 10:41AM

Still waters wrote: »

Easy there, you might hurt my mental health with your mean words

Mind your mental health, so important.

Sunrise_Sunset · 19-01-2020 10:47AM

My MIL is a pathological liar and treats her hubby like a slave. She makes condescending comments and little digs regularly.
I'm not a fan. Try not to be in her company too often.

Edgware · 19-01-2020 11:15AM

Still waters wrote: »

Easy there, you might hurt my mental health with your mean words

Mean words make Baby Jesus cry

the beer revolu · 19-01-2020 12:32PM

RhubarbCrumble wrote: »

My mother in law is a horribly manipulative, entitled, demanding woman. She snaps her fingers and expects everybody to react.

The problem is that my other half does. All the time, and it's causing some serious friction between us which is starting to get worse and worse because he constantly puts her first and I quite honestly feel that sometimes I just don't seem to matter much to him.

My mother in law is in her 70's and is in very good health yet constantly plays the "Sure I'm only a poor old lady" card.
She can drive, but she won't, so my other half spends most of his time of ferrying her about the place.
He has 3 siblings but all 3 of them work to suit themselves and not her, and you know what? Fair play to them for putting themselves and their partners and families first.

My father in law is sadly no longer with us. He passed away a couple of years ago, but he was an absolute and utter gentleman. There really is no other word I could use to describe him. I never heard anyone have a bad word to say about him because you literally couldn't.

This sounds awful, but I honestly wish that it was her that was gone and that he was still here with us.

I know a couple going through a divorce.
You have pretty much described their situation.
I hope you can work things out.

RhubarbCrumble · 19-01-2020 03:28PM

the beer revolu wrote: »

I know a couple going through a divorce.
You have pretty much described their situation.
I hope you can work things out.

Thank you.

Do Mother In Laws deserve their reputation?

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