Do Mother In Laws deserve their reputation?

Wrex

Saw a bit of the Late Late last night, and watched the bit about the Mother in Law giving a kidney to his son in law.

There was a bit of the usual " oh the Mother in Law" giggles in the audience. Got me thinking, Mother in Law jokes have been popular for decades, and as they say, no smoke without fire.

Question is, do Mother in Laws deserve their negative reputation?

eviltwin

Mine doesn't. She is a wonderful person and I'm so lucky to have her.

My husband's mother in law though, she's a complete bitch.

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5

Pretty much like thick Paddy jokes and the like.

Lazy jokes made by nasty people for a thick audience, with everyone involved mistaking recognition of bigoted stereotypes for a sense of humour.

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts

I love my mammy-in-law.

jay1988

Mines a thundering **** anyways.

limnam

Trenton Happy Barber wrote: »

Pretty much like thick Paddy jokes and the like.

Lazy jokes made by nasty people for a thick audience, with everyone involved mistaking recognition of bigoted stereotypes for a sense of humour.

The life and soul has arrived.

Stateofyou

Well deserved, I'll leave it at that.

theballz

Really broad question and is completely subjective - no right or wrong answer here.

Plumbthedepths

limnam wrote: »

The life and soul has arrived.

It must be terrible being permanently offended for some. ;-)

strandroad

Mine is fab, a very sensible woman and friendly too.

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5

Plumbthedepths wrote: »

It must be terrible being permanently offended for some. ;-)

Well I hope ye manage it okay, didn't mean to offend xx

Mothers In Law can be angels or devils. I’ve had both.

Plumbthedepths

Trenton Happy Barber wrote: »

Well I hope ye manage it okay, didn't mean to offend xx

I'm not offended at all. MIL jokes are just that jokes meant to be taken light-heartedly. You seem devoid of humour. I also find 'paddy ' jokes funny. I think it's important not to take oneself too seriously. Remember you are here for a good time not a long time. Lighten up. ;-)

banie01

I've had a very fraught relationship with my 1st MiL she could be, and sometimes still is a vindictive, childish and selfish bully.

I will hand on heart say, she has changed.
Don't buy the leopards don't change their spots spiel.
Granted it was only after the death of her daughter, but she has been and is an integral part of what's left of my family and was a great comfort (and I hope I returned that to her).

It's 12yrs since we lost her daughter, a little more recent than that, that we came to terms with our own differences and even though I've remarried...

She is still my MiL, I have 2 now and blending families isn't just about the kids...
It's the baggage too

She is fighting cancer at the moment...
She's doing ok, but for the 1st time in 27yrs many of them hating her...
I'm terrified of losing her.

MiLs are what ya make of them...
MiLFs are where it's at

limnam

Plumbthedepths wrote: »

I'm not offended at all. MIL jokes are just that jokes meant to be taken light-heartedly. You seem devoid of humour. I also find 'paddy ' jokes funny. I think it's important not to take oneself too seriously. Remember you are here for a good time not a long time. Lighten up. ;-)

acknowledge your mistakes.

Then go cry into a huge pillow.

Tut tut.

Rothko

Plumbthedepths wrote: »

It must be terrible being permanently offended for some. ;-)

I don't see anyone being offended

BeerWolf

It's a very old stereotype humour that's found the world over.

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5

Plumbthedepths wrote: »

I'm not offended at all. MIL jokes are just that jokes meant to be taken light-heartedly. You seem devoid of humour. I also find 'paddy ' jokes funny. I think it's important not to take oneself too seriously. Remember you are here for a good time not a long time. Lighten up. ;-)

I'm hardly taking them seriously. They're just not funny. Maybe the first one was but it's the same joke again and again.

Hey. Hey. I like your avatar.....NOT.

Laugh at that joke or you're offended, by your logic.

Lillyfae

eviltwin wrote: »

Mine doesn't. She is a wonderful person and I'm so lucky to have her.

My husband's mother in law though, she's a complete bitch.

Second this!

My first MIL was a complete and utter dose though. I’m even more glad to be rid of her to be honest..

Plumbthedepths

Trenton Happy Barber wrote: »

I'm hardly taking them seriously. They're just not funny. Maybe the first one was but it's the same joke again and again.

Hey. Hey. I like your avatar.....NOT.

Laugh at that joke or you're offended, by your logic.

Hagar is funny though.


https://m.arcamax.com/thefunnies/hagarthehorrible/

Raconteuse

Deleted User wrote: »

Mothers In Law can be angels or devils. I’ve had both.

Like most people they are neither angels nor devils, just humans somewhere in the middle.

I do lol at some of the jokes though.

Stateofyou

Plumbthedepths wrote: »

I'm not offended at all. MIL jokes are just that jokes meant to be taken light-heartedly. You seem devoid of humour. I also find 'paddy ' jokes funny. I think it's important not to take oneself too seriously. Remember you are here for a good time not a long time. Lighten up. ;-)

Ah come on, that's fairly dismissive. Some have toxic in laws that have caused huge harm to mental health and it's no laughing matter. To be told to "lighten up" in the face of that is not something you'd say in real life?

garbanzo

I’d a brilliant mother in law. My wife says she had too. We were very lucky.

Both gone now. Miss them both.

fineso.mom

My mother in law was a lovely person, and was still lovely when her son and I divorced. My ex-husband remarried about 10 years ago and his mother in law is an absolute sweetheart. She treated our children as her grandchildren from day one and sends me a Christmas card every year.
Among my friends, I have never heard one ever complain about mother's in law.

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1

garbanzo wrote: »

I’d a brilliant mother in law. My wife says she had too. We were very lucky.

Both gone now. Miss them both.

Same here. Both were much loved and appreciated and got on very well together as well.

Mother in laws are just people and have all the traits found in people generally. They are not some breed or class set apart from the rest of society or family dynamics.

hatrickpatrick

Why is there such a stereotype about mothers in law which doesn't seem to exist for fathers in law? I've always wondered this, doubhebags and overprotective parents know no gender boundaries in fairness...

Plumbthedepths

Stateofyou wrote: »

Ah come on, that's fairly dismissive. Some have toxic in laws that have caused huge harm to mental health and it's no laughing matter. To be told to "lighten up" in the face of that is not something you'd say in real life?

My comment was in response to mother in law jokes being just that jokes.
Absolutely no interest in engaging in whatever tangent you have decided to conflate my comment with.

Stateofyou

Plumbthedepths wrote: »

My comment was in response to mother in law jokes being just that jokes.
Absolutely no interest in engaging in whatever tangent you have decided to conflate my comment with.

Not everything is a joking matter, how is that a tangent. Lighten up!

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1

hatrickpatrick wrote: »

Why is there such a stereotype about mothers in law which doesn't seem to exist for fathers in law? ...

Because the likes of Les Dawson got laughs from the portrayal.

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts

Stateofyou wrote: »

Not everything is a joking matter, how is that a tangent. Lighten up!

If we applied that to everything, we’d be very restricted in what we can joke about. People have trauma about a wide range of issues. Should humour in any of those areas therefore be off the table?

Everything has to be fair game for humour or nothing can be. You can’t dance around everyone’s fee fees.

BuboBubo

I had a fantastic mother in law, unfortunately she died a few years ago. I still miss her, she was right craic.

limnam

Stateofyou wrote: »

Not everything is a joking matter, how is that a tangent. Lighten up!

You seem to be mixing up badly timed MIL jokes with MIL jokes.

JohnnyFlash

I don’t mind mine even though I rarely see her these days. It’s her thundering cow of a daughter who I have an issue with.

wakka12

It's a funny one, like obviously becoming a MIL doesnt just turn an otherwise normal person ****ty, maybe the pressure of being assessed/judged as worthy enough to date their beloved son/daughter puts a strain on the relationship between the spouse and MIL

Plumbthedepths

Stateofyou wrote: »

Not everything is a joking matter, how is that a tangent. Lighten up!

I was in the fire service for several years. Humour even black humour is a coping measure and yes everything can be joked about.

Stateofyou

Plumbthedepths wrote: »

I was in the fire service for several years. Humour even black humour is a coping measure and yes everything can be joked about.

I get it ( and well done). But it's not everyone's coping mechanism because sometimes family causes a lot of harm. I myself would find it impossible to laugh about... to each their own so maybe don't say to someone else to lighten up?

decky1

ah their not all bad although when mine came to visit us the mice used to throw themselves on the traps..

Jurgen Klopp

I wonder would a lot of it have come from the days where it was normal for a married couple to live with one set of parents for a while while saving or in some cases where they lived with a parent permanently like a man/woman marrying into a farm? There used be a lot of it with a woman marrying in where there was always war between teh wife and MIL

As least as far as the UK and Ireland goes anyways

Not sure what the view is in countries where it's still a thing for many generations to live under the roof

limnam

Jurgen Klopp wrote: »

I

Not sure what the view is in countries where it's still a thing for many generations to live under the roof

Italy for one, but they're rubbish at telling jokes.

mcgragger

eviltwin wrote: »

Mine doesn't. She is a wonderful person and I'm so lucky to have her.

My husband's mother in law though, she's a complete bitch.

Your husbands mother in law is your Mother!!

mcgragger

hatrickpatrick wrote: »

Why is there such a stereotype about mothers in law which doesn't seem to exist for fathers in law? I've always wondered this, doubhebags and overprotective parents know no gender boundaries in fairness...

Yeah its My father in law that's the car crash. Bumming low class tramp.
Mother in law is a diamond.

corks finest

Wrex wrote: »

Saw a bit of the Late Late last night, and watched the bit about the Mother in Law giving a kidney to his son in law.

There was a bit of the usual " oh the Mother in Law" giggles in the audience. Got me thinking, Mother in Law jokes have been popular for decades, and as they say, no smoke without fire.

Question is, do Mother in Laws deserve their negative reputation?

No but their bloody daughters do

eviltwin

mcgragger wrote: »

Your husbands mother in law is your Mother!!

Correct

I love both my inlaws. My mother in law is a very loving and likeable person and I'm lucky to have her. I appreciate her even more after losing my own mother.

Edgware

decky1 wrote: »

ah their not all bad although when mine came to visit us the mice used to throw themselves on the traps..

We have a picture of her on the mantlepiece. It keeps the kids away from the fire

RhubarbCrumble

My mother in law is a horribly manipulative, entitled, demanding woman. She snaps her fingers and expects everybody to react.

The problem is that my other half does. All the time, and it's causing some serious friction between us which is starting to get worse and worse because he constantly puts her first and I quite honestly feel that sometimes I just don't seem to matter much to him.

My mother in law is in her 70's and is in very good health yet constantly plays the "Sure I'm only a poor old lady" card.
She can drive, but she won't, so my other half spends most of his time of ferrying her about the place.
He has 3 siblings but all 3 of them work to suit themselves and not her, and you know what? Fair play to them for putting themselves and their partners and families first.

My father in law is sadly no longer with us. He passed away a couple of years ago, but he was an absolute and utter gentleman. There really is no other word I could use to describe him. I never heard anyone have a bad word to say about him because you literally couldn't.

This sounds awful, but I honestly wish that it was her that was gone and that he was still here with us.

limnam

RhubarbCrumble wrote: »

My mother in law is a horribly manipulative, entitled, demanding woman. She snaps her fingers and expects everybody to react.

The problem is that my other half does. All the time, and it's causing some serious friction between us which is starting to get worse and worse because he constantly puts her first and I quite honestly feel that sometimes I just don't seem to matter much to him.

My mother in law is in her 70's and is in very good health yet constantly plays the "Sure I'm only a poor old lady" card.
She can drive, but she won't, so my other half spends most of his time of ferrying her about the place.
He has 3 siblings but all 3 of them work to suit themselves and not her, and you know what? Fair play to them for putting themselves and their partners and families first.

My father in law is sadly no longer with us. He passed away a couple of years ago, but he was an absolute and utter gentleman. There really is no other word I could use to describe him. I never heard anyone have a bad word to say about him because you literally couldn't.

This sounds awful, but I honestly wish that it was her that was gone and that he was still here with us.

Yeah but do you have any MIL jokes.

Ironicname

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts wrote:

If we applied that to everything, we’d be very restricted in what we can joke about. People have trauma about a wide range of issues. Should humour in any of those areas therefore be off the table?

Exactly. A relative of mine was electrocuted and died. Should I campaign for every joke revolving around electricity or any cartoon that shows someone getting electrocuted and turning into an x-ray banned?

Do you think it's fair that I should see that and for it to remind me of my relative?

Raconteuse

People have the right to find whatever they want funny, but others have the right not to. The former sometimes don't respect the latter - yet they expect their position to be respected.

However, those who find certain humour offensive can avoid it.

andekwarhola

It's just a comedy riff, which in itself can be funny depending on the joke. You don't necessarily have to trawl through history for examples of mother-in-laws that don't fit the category. I like my MIL, not least because she's got a Prince Philip type line of un-PC comments that I secretly look forward to hearing.

crazy maisie

No they don't. I had the most wonderful mother in law. She was welcoming, kind, helpful and most of all a loving and accepting woman. She nurtured a wonderful, funny and caring son who I got to marry and have kids with. I miss her so much (rip).

But sometimes I wonder about my husband and his mother in law (my mum). He got the rough end of it in some ways....a lot of issues there.....