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Have you ever spooned a member of the opposite sex naked and not had sex?

2

Comments

  • #32
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 18,046 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    ILoveYourVibes wrote: »
    And turns that urge into something deeper YA so womantic!

    And its not bizarre ....its about oxytocin.

    ITs having a soul mate like connection!

    If you want to have a soulmate-type connection, learn to enjoy sex and stop seeing it as something that men want and women provide.


  • #33
    ILoveYourVibes
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,507 ✭✭✭✭ILoveYourVibes


    Deleted User wrote: »
    If you want to have a soulmate-type connection, learn to enjoy sex and stop seeing it as something that men want and women provide.
    So you are saying have sex ..even if you don't want to ....you just have to learn to want to when you want to??

    So MY needs are not important ...as an individual ..i just have to learn to cater to YOUR needs only.

    Right then just **** off on me back then ...just wipe it off with the sheet after :D

    spoony spoony :P


  • #34
    banie01
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 19,170 ✭✭✭✭banie01


    If one is denying their "base' biological urge in the hope that meditation and self denial can improve upon the connection and attraction to allow a more spiritual or soul mate like connection....

    One hasn't actually ever been naked with someone they love.
    EVER!

    Being naked isn't always about sex, sometimes it is just about cuddling, holding, caring and supporting the person you are laying with.

    One of the symptoms of being afflicted with actual love for another person is having a connection, that simpatico that allows those moments to be recognised for what they are.

    It is not following some nonsense from a book in the hope of creating or indeed forcing it.


  • #35
    ILoveYourVibes
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,507 ✭✭✭✭ILoveYourVibes


    banie01 wrote: »
    If one is denying their "base' biological urge in the hope that meditation and self denial can improve upon the connection and attraction to allow a more spiritual or soul mate like connection....

    One hasn't actually ever been naked with someone they love.
    EVER!

    Being naked isn't always about sex, sometimes it is just about cuddling, holding, caring and supporting the person you are laying with.

    One of the symptoms of being afflicted with actual love for another person is having a connection, that simpatico that allows those moments to be recognised for what they are.

    It is not following some nonsense from a book in the hope of creating it.

    I just wanna try it! jeeze

    peeps is so closed minded and judgemental


  • #36
    banie01
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 19,170 ✭✭✭✭banie01


    ILoveYourVibes wrote: »
    I just wanna try it! jeeze

    peeps is so closed minded and judgemental

    I find it curious, that despite my agreeing with your thesis in the main and pointing out what I believe to be it's fairly obvious flaw...

    That peeps are closed minded and judgemental?
    How does that work?


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  • #37
    ILoveYourVibes
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,507 ✭✭✭✭ILoveYourVibes


    banie01 wrote: »
    I find it curious, that despite my agreeing with your thesis in the main and pointing out what I believe to be it's fairly obvious flaw...

    That peeps are closed minded and judgemental?
    How does that work?


    Why is it such a big deal to ask a guy who loves you to lie naked with you and deny his urges for an hr?

    I mean ....maybe he won't be distracted by his urges ...he will forget about them and focus on the connection


  • #38
    Still waters
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,164 ✭✭✭Still waters


    ILoveYourVibes wrote: »
    Why is it such a big deal to ask a guy who loves you to lie naked with you and deny his urges for an hr?

    I mean ....maybe he won't be distracted by his urges ...he will forget about them and focus on the connection

    He'll just spend an hour with a horn, why not sort him out first and he will a lot more pliant for doing your stupid spoon


  • #39
    ILoveYourVibes
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,507 ✭✭✭✭ILoveYourVibes


    Still waters wrote: »
    He'll just spend an hour with a horn, why not sort him out first and he will a lot more pliant for doing your stupid spoon
    cuz then it doesn't count. and he'll only fall asleep

    its not going to last an hr

    we could start off slow ..in our clothes....beginners :P


  • #40
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 18,046 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    ILoveYourVibes wrote: »
    So you are saying have sex ..even if you don't want to ....you just have to learn to want to when you want to??

    So MY needs are not important ...as an individual ..i just have to learn to cater to YOUR needs only.

    Right then just **** off on me back then ...just wipe it off with the sheet after :D

    spoony spoony :P

    You missed my entire point in a comically opposite way. And while doing that, you showed that it's not the idea of meditation creating something deeper that makes this idea special, it's simply you wanting to feel romantically loved without the sexual component to the relationship. That's not deeper.. It's just validation.

    I said to learn to enjoy it. You didn't refute that by saying you do enjoy it, you instead took it that you should only learn because as a woman, you would be catering to my needs by doing that. That's pretty messed up.
    ILoveYourVibes wrote: »
    I just wanna try it! jeeze

    peeps is so closed minded and judgemental

    Go for it. The next time you're in bed, say we can't touch for 30 mins. That'll give him time to appreciate you and build up to the moment, and it will give you time to post about it on here.


  • #41
    ILoveYourVibes
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,507 ✭✭✭✭ILoveYourVibes


    Deleted User wrote: »
    it's simply you wanting to feel romantically loved without the sexual component to the relationship. That's not deeper.. It's just validation.


    There is nothing validating to me about a man's love. Sorry.

    Its deeper.


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  • #42
    ILoveYourVibes
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,507 ✭✭✭✭ILoveYourVibes


    people sometimes to it for other reasons too ..edgeplay ..


  • #43
    banie01
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 19,170 ✭✭✭✭banie01


    ILoveYourVibes wrote: »
    Why is it such a big deal to ask a guy who loves you to lie naked with you and deny his urges for an hr?

    I mean ....maybe he won't be distracted by his urges ...he will forget about them and focus on the connection

    Because, and now read slowly what was posted previously...
    Because you really seem to have missed the point.
    banie01 wrote: »

    Being naked isn't always about sex, sometimes it is just about cuddling, holding, caring and supporting the person you are laying with.

    One of the symptoms of being afflicted with actual love for another person is having a connection, that simpatico that allows those moments to be recognised for what they are.

    Or to simplify a little bit, being actually in love and connected with someone allows those needs to be recognised and appreciated for what they are.
    Closeness, togetherness, bonding...

    Without ILYV needing to dictate the terms of that closeness.
    If you need to ask for that particular form of affection, you may be "in love" your chosen partner however is either emotionally retarded or just in lust.

    Why is your need to have your emotion affirmed in a particularly celibate manner afforded more value than your partner's needs?
    In what is an overtly sexual situation?

    Than a potential partners need to bang?
    Maybe he would find you easier to love, or at least to listen to in the warm afterglow of his post-orgasmic bliss?


  • #44
    cj maxx
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2, Paid Member Posts: 18,345 ✭✭✭✭cj maxx


    To answer the OP, no I've never spooned without having sex. Maybe after sex when I'm done I might spoon but it normally leads to 2nds


  • #45
    ILoveYourVibes
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,507 ✭✭✭✭ILoveYourVibes


    cjmc wrote: »
    To answer the OP, no I've never spooned without having sex. Maybe after sex when I'm done I might spoon but it normally leads to 2nds
    Same here. I read the paragraph in the book ..and realized ..i have never done that. I have had sex before it or after it etc.

    And i am not sure that some of the men's reactions on here ...are healthy.


    Its like they think they have a right to sex. They are being denied etc.

    its uncomfortable reading tbh

    disappointing
    Why is your need to have your emotion affirmed in a particularly celibate manner afforded more value than your partner's needs?

    he cant handle one hr of his needs not being met??What is he a ****ing newborn?

    I definitely need to try this!


  • #46
    blackcard
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,569 ✭✭✭blackcard


    ILoveYourVibes wrote: »
    Why is it such a big deal to ask a guy who loves you to lie naked with you and deny his urges for an hr?

    I mean ....maybe he won't be distracted by his urges ...he will forget about them and focus on the connection

    In the interest of science ILYB, I am willing to give it a go


  • #47
    ILoveYourVibes
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,507 ✭✭✭✭ILoveYourVibes


    blackcard wrote: »
    In the interest of science ILYB, I am willing to give it a go

    That's the spirit. Pmed you!


  • #48
    banie01
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 19,170 ✭✭✭✭banie01


    ILoveYourVibes wrote: »
    Same here. I read the paragraph in the book ..and realized ..i have never done that. I have had sex before it or after it etc.

    And i am not sure that some of the men's reactions on here ...are healthy.


    Its like they think they have a right to sex. They are being denied etc.

    its uncomfortable reading tbh

    disappointing



    he cant handle one hr of his needs not being met??What is he a ****ing newborn?
    You really, really need to read and actually understand the entirety of what I posted.

    Rather than quote a single line out of context in the hope of appearing to portray men as sexually motivated beasts.

    The entire point is, that were you naked and spooning with a man who loved and just wanted to be "held"

    You wouldn't need to ask, it wouldn't be a denial of his completion, his sexual urge, his desire to dominate and impregnate or any other feminist or patriarchal label you would want to put on getting fúcked...

    Love is a level of simpatico and understanding that appreciates when someone just wants to be held...

    Contrary to popular opinion, most men do know that being naked is not carte blanche to hit that...

    It's not an open goal ;)

    Those are emotional responses that develop from trust, from learning how ones partner responds and reacts.

    They are not developed as a Pavlovian response to "naked spooning"
    Imposing celibacy, rather than actually being emotive is a piss poor idea.
    If it's a bad way to train a dog, I'd love to think what a behavioural psychologist would make of it as a way of ensuring an emotional "bond" in humans.


  • #49
    blackcard
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,569 ✭✭✭blackcard


    ILoveYourVibes wrote: »
    That's the spirit. Pmed you!

    I just feel that it is my duty on behalf of Boards to try this out and report back on the success or otherwise. Not sure how you define success though


  • #50
    Insect Overlord
    Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 31,218 Mod ✭✭✭✭Insect Overlord


    Naked cuddles FTW. Nothing weird about that at all.


  • #51
    ILoveYourVibes
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,507 ✭✭✭✭ILoveYourVibes


    banie01 wrote: »
    You wouldn't need to ask, it wouldn't be a denial of his completion, his sexual urge, his desire to dominate and impregnate or any other feminist or patriarchal label you would want to put on getting fúcked...



    ok you can stop posting i have dismissed any value in your opinion right here
    They are not developed as a Pavlovian response to "naked spooning"
    Imposing celibacy, rather than actually being emotive is a piss poor idea.
    If it's a bad way to train a dog, I'd love to think what a behavioural psychologist would make of it as a way of ensuring an emotional "bond" in humans.

    they would think its genius


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  • #52
    ILoveYourVibes
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,507 ✭✭✭✭ILoveYourVibes


    Insect Overlord wrote: »
    Naked cuddles FTW. Nothing weird about that at all.


    Yeah its just something you do with your imzadi! :P

    or like ..a friend who wants a new experience!


  • #53
    banie01
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 19,170 ✭✭✭✭banie01


    Insect Overlord wrote: »
    Naked cuddles FTW. Nothing weird about that at all.

    100%

    The only weird thing about it, is imposing actual rules and expectations.

    It's a perfectly normal part of any relationship to cuddle, touch and lie completely starkers and not see it as sexual.

    Imposing a time limit, or a rule that says X amount of naked non sexual touching must take place as a validation step however....

    That's a nonsense!


  • #54
    banie01
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 19,170 ✭✭✭✭banie01


    ILoveYourVibes wrote: »
    ok you can stop posting i have dismissed any value in your opinion right here



    they would think its genius

    See there you again, with out of context quotes :)
    Keep going tho, you are doing great and portraying any predictable or stereotypical traits at all.


  • #55
    Ashlyn Sweet Bone
    Posts: 13,753 ✭✭✭✭ Ashlyn Sweet Bone


    I'm getting a whiff of pork pies in here.


  • #56
    Day Lewin
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,000 ✭✭✭Day Lewin


    ILoveYourVibes wrote: »
    Have you ever spooned a member of the opposite sex naked and not had sex?

    To answer the question posed by the OP, in some kind of serious manner:

    the answer's Yes, of course. Lots of times.

    Not "incomplete intercourse" and not conventionally "spiritual" ;
    more like something Tantric - often in a community setting -

    specialised interests, don't you know.

    Cuddle puddles are a thing, too.

    That's not to say I don't like sex, I do, but Janey, there are other manifestations than the racetrack finish P-->V.

    And there's more to it than the hasty-squirt-and-its-all-over. ["Schoolboy sex"]

    There are good reasons why Tantric practitioners advise against the self-indulgent race to climax:

    Undoubtedly; closeness, intimacy, generosity, patience, relaxation, focus, and attentive sensation - all improve the connection.
    And improving the connection makes you a better human being as well as the collateral benefit of fantastic sex.

    There. That's my serious tuppennyworth.

    Now yez can all go back to slagging.

    Merry Christmas!


  • #57
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 2,093 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    It depends.. If its a control thing to get a man to deny his sexual urges then it's extremely unhealthy and controlling - and I suspect in many cases that's exactly what it is.


  • #58
    Princess Consuela Bananahammock
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 33,779 ✭✭✭✭Princess Consuela Bananahammock


    Doing it right now, to be fair. Will have to wait a few hours to see if results in sex or not though.

    Everything I don't like is either woke or fascist - possibly both - pick one.



  • #59
    HappyAsLarE
    Closed Accounts Posts: 761 ✭✭✭HappyAsLarE


    Jesus F Christ takes all sorts.


  • #60
    Sardonicat
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,458 ✭✭✭✭Sardonicat


    Yes, often. My partner and I always sleep naked whether we have sex or not. We always spoon going to sleep. It's part of a normal, loving relationship between two people who are closely bonded. No one has to ask anyone to forego their urges. We wouldn't dream of sharing a bed together clothed. The skin to skin contact and intimacy is important, it's not always about sex.


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  • #61
    JuanBerrosa
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 65 ✭✭JuanBerrosa


    ILoveYourVibes wrote: »
    Have you ever spooned a member of the opposite sex naked and not had sex?

    What did you and Mr Fegellan do ?


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