The most wonderful time of the year

23-12-2019 10:49PM

Raconteuse wrote: »

Nope. Saying "bottle it up - everyone gets depressed about January" is being a dick to people whose loved ones have died. And no, not all perspectives are equally valid. Nonsense tbh.

OK.

Still waters · 23-12-2019 10:50PM

Raconteuse wrote: »

If only those pesky bereaved and ill folk would just vanish for you.

As long as they're not out crying into their pints while I'm enjoying the festivities ill be ok, thoughts and prayers

eviltwin · 23-12-2019 10:54PM

Still waters wrote: »

As long as they're not out crying into their pints while I'm enjoying the festivities ill be ok, thoughts and prayers

Wtf is wrong with you?

anewme · 23-12-2019 10:55PM

Still waters wrote: »

As long as they're not out crying into their pints while I'm enjoying the festivities ill be ok, thoughts and prayers

I had a post written and had to delete it.

Remember, Ireland is a small place and this has been a tough week for some.

retro:electro · 23-12-2019 10:57PM

Still waters wrote: »

As long as they're not out crying into their pints while I'm enjoying the festivities ill be ok, thoughts and prayers

Imagine this being your biggest problem.

Raconteuse · 23-12-2019 10:57PM

eviltwin wrote: »

Wtf is wrong with you?

Will Gone Home and Stunner Dunner continue to defend them? :rolleyes:

GoneHome · 23-12-2019 10:58PM

Look we've all been through tough times, lost loved ones, been through serious family illnesses, etc, but the way some people are going on here it's as if we should all stay at home with the curtains drawn until January for fear we'll hurt someones feelings by enjoying Christmas and all that goes with it. Bad things are happening to good people everyday of the year, it doesn't mean that we all have to curl up in a depression in sympathy with them, life goes on.

23-12-2019 11:01PM

Raconteuse wrote: »

Will Gone Home and Stunner Dunner continue to defend them? :rolleyes:

Raconteuse please don’t denigrate my name directly. I never defended their points, and I resent my post being labelled nonsense. I am defending everyone’s right to a perspective. I’ve been polite but frankly you are embarrassing yourself getting worked up by some randomer online. Your posts normally are cogent and wise, so I don’t know what is going on with you. That’s all I’ll say, and I do genuinely wish you a peaceful Christmas.

anewme · 23-12-2019 11:02PM

GoneHome wrote: »

Look we've all been through tough times, lost loved ones, been through serious family illnesses, etc, but the way some people are going on here it's as if we should all stay at home with the curtains drawn until January for fear we'll hurt someones feelings by enjoying Christmas and all that goes with it. Bad things are happening to good people everyday of the year, it doesn't mean that we all have to curl up in a depression in sympathy with them, life goes on.

That's not what the OP was about at all. Not sure where you got that.

No one is asking you to stay hidden behind your crappy net curtains.

It's about being mindful that others, sometimes those very close are having a tough time and a bit of support or acknowledgement can be a lifesaver.

Raconteuse · 23-12-2019 11:02PM

GoneHome wrote: »

Look we've all been through tough times, lost loved ones, been through serious family illnesses, etc, but the way some people are going on here it's as if we should all stay at home with the curtains drawn until January for fear we'll hurt someones feelings by enjoying Christmas and all that goes with it. Bad things are happening to good people everyday of the year, it doesn't mean that we all have to curl up in a depression in sympathy with them, life goes on.

No it's not the way people are going on whatsoever. The obtuseness on this thread is quite something.

It's literally only some people expressing how they're finding it hard. Nobody has to feel sad because of them whatsoever.

If anything would it not make people appreciate what they have all the more?

Leg End Reject · 23-12-2019 11:02PM

Retro, I hope you get through the next week and have some happy moments too.

I've had tough Christmases for a variety of reasons, including bereavement. It can be a lonely and bewildering time.

If the ghosts of Christmas past could return for the day we would need another 2 tables, a lot of the traditions died with them, but the happy memories are still there.

Christmas has lost most of its magic for me, through a combination of getting older and the loss of the people who created it in my childhood.

This will be one of the better ones thankfully, those of us still here will get together along with newer arrivals. Lots of good food, drink and laughs, nights out and lazy days. The time off work breaks up the dreary winter and the lights are lovely to look at, so it's the little things now.

Have a good one if you can, get through it as best you can if it won't be a happy time.

retro:electro · 23-12-2019 11:03PM

GoneHome wrote: »

Look we've all been through tough times, lost loved ones, been through serious family illnesses, etc, but the way some people are going on here it's as if we should all stay at home with the curtains drawn until January for fear we'll hurt someones feelings by enjoying Christmas and all that goes with it. Bad things are happening to good people everyday of the year, it doesn't mean that we all have to curl up in a depression in sympathy with them, life goes on.

I don’t believe anyone has said anything of the sort? I don’t begrudge anyone a happy Christmas with their loved ones. I’ll be trying to make the most of a difficult day myself, in the best way I can. Only a truly bitter person would expect the world to be miserable also just because they’re feeling low, and that’s not what I meant at all. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with acknowledging that it’s a hard time of year for many, it shouldn’t and doesn’t take away from how you feel about the day. I see people out enjoying themselves and I think it’s brilliant. I hope to be able to feel that way again some year.

Raconteuse · 23-12-2019 11:07PM

Deleted User wrote: »

Raconteuse please don’t denigrate my name directly. I never defended their points, and I resent my post being labelled nonsense. I am defending everyone’s right to a perspective. I’ve been polite but frankly you are embarrassing yourself getting worked up by some randomer online. Your posts normally are cogent and wise, so I don’t know what is going on with you. That’s all I’ll say, and I do genuinely wish you a peaceful Christmas.

Everyone has a right to perspective but they're not equally valid and when someone is being an arsehole people have the right to perspective that they are being an arsehole.

You are trying to discredit me too by saying I'm embarrassing myself and getting worked up. My first post to this thread was the kinda vibe I was going to continue with, then I see someone sneering at people going through unbearable sadness this time of year, and that got to me. Things get to people online all the time.

On top of that is the twisting of what people are saying.

Still waters · 23-12-2019 11:13PM

Cheer up guys its Christmas

23-12-2019 11:16PM

Airyfairy12 wrote: »

It's such a shame theres no public social events on for people Christmas day, even something small like a meal or something for people who have no where else to go.

This just reminded me of an article I read the other day about a cafe in Oranmore, Galway opening for a few hours on Christmas Day for anyone who may be lonely or who has no where else to be etc. I'll just put the link to the story here in case anyway from that part of the country is interested.

https://www.irishmirror.ie/news/irish-news/galway-cafe-open-christmas-day-21135236

Vast amounts of money, food and gifts are donated to various charities and good causes at Christmas time every year and I think that's precisely because while enjoying their own good fortune over the Christmas period, a lot of people are well aware that there are many, many others who not so fortunate.

anewme · 23-12-2019 11:19PM

Still waters wrote: »

Cheer up guys it Christmas

That's the whole point.

People cant always just "cheer up".

23-12-2019 11:21PM

Deleted User wrote: »

Equally, you don’t need to read others’ comments, especially if they are getting you worked up. They are just as much valid ‘perspectives’ as anyone’s.

No, they aren't 'valid perspectives'.

Still waters wrote: »

As long as they're not out crying into their pints while I'm enjoying the festivities ill be ok, thoughts and prayers

Like the above, they're pure, unfiltered malice.

retro:electro · 23-12-2019 11:24PM

Francesca Loose Ginger wrote: »

But carry on, I'll enjoy my Christmas and hope you're doing as much for those less well off, or those who are lonely this Christmas, as some of us are doing very day this week.

And just to respond to this bit, because I must have missed the saltiness the first time around. It is my opinion that a truly charitable person would never take issue with the opening post. A completely harmless OP that could have been easily ignored, should you find yourself so susceptible to the misers. If you find your Christmas to be so deflated because of posts like mine then i would call into question the integrity of how charitable you were to begin with.

Have a good one all the same.

23-12-2019 11:25PM

Candie wrote: »

No, they aren't 'valid perspectives'.

Like the above, they're pure, unfiltered malice.

I was referring to Srameen’s post, where he got castigated for daring to raise a different perspective. I agree that the ‘cheer up losers’-type posts are ridiculous and cruel. But they are still perspectives.

anewme · 23-12-2019 11:28PM

[Deleted User] wrote: »

I agree that the ‘cheer up losers’-type posts are ridiculous and cruel. But they are still perspectives.

I daresay they would not have the guts to Express these perspectives in public and they will remain behind the keyboard.

Anonymously.

Cowards.

23-12-2019 11:29PM

anewme wrote: »

I daresay they would not have the guts to Erxpress these perspectives in public and they will remain behind the keyboard.

Anonymously.

Cowards.

You are probably right.

anewme · 23-12-2019 11:51PM

Still waters wrote: »

As long as they're not out crying into their pints while I'm enjoying the festivities ill be ok, thoughts and prayers

Nasty brain dead post.

Raconteuse · 23-12-2019 11:56PM

retro:electro wrote: »

And just to respond to this bit, because I must have missed the saltiness the first time around. It is my opinion that a truly charitable person would never take issue with the opening post. A completely harmless OP that could have been easily ignored, should you find yourself so susceptible to the misers. If you find your Christmas to be so deflated because of posts like mine then i would call into question the integrity of how charitable you were to begin with.

I felt the very same. There was also an implication that you're not doing things to help the less fortunate like he is.

Even if not literally meaning that those suffering this time of year suck the fun out of Christmas, I don't know if this thread is the right place for it. I just don't see why there's cause to be critical of all the news coverage when it can easily be avoided.

Holly13 · 23-12-2019 11:58PM

[Deleted User] wrote: »

I was referring to Srameen’s post, where he got castigated for daring to raise a different perspective. I agree that the ‘cheer up losers’-type posts are ridiculous and cruel. But they are still perspectives.

Christmas takes place during the depths of winter, during the least daylight. It’s a time of heightened emotions anyway, like we have evolved so many ways to distract ourselves from the darkness - lights, drink, presents, excess food consumption There is loads of crap I hate about Christmas but I would find the winter interminable without it.
I think some people are reacting against the idea that it’s only people who are in a “happy” state anyway who can enjoy all the faff around Christmas.
Also Christmas is a charitable time and many people give to and think of others at this time of year.

Better Than Christ · 24-12-2019 02:05AM

It'll be my eighth Christmas without my mother. In previous years, I've tried, but it's like being locked out in the damp and drizzle, staring in at everyone sitting around a fire. I'll try this year too, to an extent, but I'll be very glad when it's all over.

Wayne Jarvis · 24-12-2019 10:02AM

I don't know now lads. Fights, name calling, twisting words, sarcasm, anger.... Seems like Christmas round these parts to me. All we need is some tears and this will feel just like home to me

Some people reading this may be aware of a bunch of stuff that has happened in my life in the last while that has me struggling a bit as I have posted a few times about them. I have quite literally been trying to run from my struggles this past week. Trying to spend as much time out of my apartment instead of in it and when I am here I am cleaning obsessively just so I don't sit around think of other stuff, you could eat your Christmas dinner form the toilet in my place and be grand afterwards.... though I still would recommend you not do that. I will say two things here.

1. I have decided today to not leave my apartment and embrace the sadness, we are supposed to be sad in life at times so I am going to be today. Hopefully then I can make a decent showing with my family and friends tomorrow, I am quietly confident I will in fact.

2. I am very conscious of bringing other people down. I got a surprise phone call from an old friend yesterday who I haven't spoken to in a good while. Her voice was so full of joy like it nearly always is that I didn't tell her about what I am dealing with. I didn't want to ruin her day or make her sad. I will tell her another time, just not two days before Christmas. Although as I said I have stayed out of my own home a lot I also have purposefully not seen many of my friends or family so as also not to bring them down. Perhaps not the wisest choice on my part but there you go, I think it was for the best for all concerned. I can see the point people are making on both sides of the argument. We shouldn't expect others to "be happy" at Christmas, or ever really imo, but at the same time there should be a bit of awareness for those who are happy too. Even at my lowest moments in life I would never begrudge another person's happiness, get it where and when you can I say but also even at my highest moments in life I wouldn't be telling others to cheer up if they were sad.

Anyhoo that was all a big ramble.

And for anyone who gives a shít at all, I am struggling but also I am doing ok if that makes any sense. I have had some good times, I donated blood last night and got chatting to a lovely woman, very pretty, very funny and very nice. Nothing was ever going to come of it of course but chatting to a pretty lady is always welcome in my life

I expected lots of sadness and I got what I was expecting but I was also hoping for little moments of happiness and I did get some of those too.

Right my ramble is over. My apologies to anyone who actually read this all the way to the end and good luck to all of you in life.

w/s/p/c/ · 24-12-2019 10:33AM

Mam of 4 wrote: »

Christmas after losing a loved one is never easy . It's like life , it'll never be the same again . You get through it as best you can , you'll remember them , you might shed tears , but you'll also laugh , and then maybe feel guilty for laughing , don't feel guilty .
I've lost both parents , miss them every day , but this is "the new normal , life without them " . I'll have laughs and tears over Christmas , take each day as it comes .

All anyone can do is get through it however suits them best .

Well said. I am in this situation, lost my mother suddenly over the summer (father passed away too). Celebrate my birthday tomorrow also. Really find it hard over the last couple of weeks but will get there hopefully.

24-12-2019 02:39PM

Historically, it's been a sad time for me but I've come to terms with it. I'd love to stay home, binge TV shows and play video games on my own instead of doing the whole rigmarole. But people around me think that's sad and lonely so won't allow it. Fair enough. At least I have those people in my life I suppose. I try not to be a grinch but I'm genuinely relieved once its all over. Next year I think I might go travelling for two weeks over Christmas. I've been thinking about doing it for almost a decade now.

Ted_YNWA · 24-12-2019 07:06PM

happychristmas wrote: »

So you don't know if they're true or not? Apparently she wasn't alone, she was part of a group who partook in the bullying. Seems at odds with the empathetic op. Strange.

Cut out the digs at other posters

24-12-2019 07:12PM

It makes me sad to read some of your posts but I'm not surprised. There are always those who find it difficult to understand that other people have pain and will struggle this time of year. They feel like they must defend their own happiness, as if it is fragile and easily threatened.

I'm glad there is more awareness about Christmas being a lonely time for many. Why though must it impact upon others enjoyment? Surely its possible to have a lovely Christmas without being heartless.

The day itself can be an awful endurance for me. What I wouldn't give for two minutes of a bickering family or feeling stressed about lots of cooking. That however is another life, another experience and It has no bearing on mine.

This is my second year to be determined. Determined to not let the past and an often challenging present get in my way. I've met friends, I've done Secret Santy, I've had drinks and already ate my weight in chocolate. I choose to be ok this Christmas. For lots of others that is not an easy or even possible choice to make.

Wherever you are and whatever it is you are dealing with I hope your Christmas is a peaceful one.

The most wonderful time of the year

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