The most wonderful time of the year

retro:electro

...is often the saddest, most depressing and loneliest time for a lot of people. It’s something I feel doesn’t get touched on in the mainstream as much as it should around this time. So for whatever reason, if you’re feeling low, off form, detached and not full of the holly jollies — there is nothing wrong with you. The pressure that is put on people to be full of festive spirit around this time can be so oppressive and isolating.

Thinking of everyone who, for whatever reason, finds this time of year very hard.

*que the Scrooge onslaught :pac:

Fr_Dougal

Expected Andy Williams, got Radiohead.

Worst. Happy thread. Ever.

BDI

No sad people will open a thread called the most wonderful time of the year.

punisher5112

Happy honika

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1

Newspapers have had an abundance of features for the past ten days or so on loneliness, homelessness, loss and bereavement at Christmas. There have been a couple of threads in that vane too.

While I appreciate Christmas can be a sad time and a lonely time for some, and I have had my share of those Christmases in the past, it's almost sapping the joy out of the occasion this year.

Padre_Pio

F*ck em, I'm going to have a holly jolly Christmas.

Pass the Roses...

lainey_d_123

Francesca Loose Ginger wrote: »

Newspapers have had an abundance of features for the past ten days or so on loneliness, homelessness, loss and bereavement at Christmas. There have been a couple of threads in that vane too.

While I appreciate Christmas can be a sad time and a lonely time for some, and I have had my share of those Christmases in the past, it's almost sapping the joy out of the occasion this year.

I think that pales into insignificance compared to the forced jollity, parties, Christmas songs, etc. which all make it a very painful time for someone who is feeling alone or sad. People can be so very insensitive and crass as well with their comments. I'm not going 'home' for Christmas and have been asked so many stupid questions. Any awareness raising of the fact that it's a hard time for some people is good, in my book.

retro:electro

Francesca Loose Ginger wrote: »

Newspapers have had an abundance of features for the past ten days or so on loneliness, homelessness, loss and bereavement at Christmas. There have been a couple of threads in that vane too.

While I appreciate Christmas can be a sad time and a lonely time for some, and I have had my share of those Christmases in the past, it's almost sapping the joy out of the occasion this year.

It’s really sad that the homeless, lonely and bereaved are sapping they joy of our of your Christmas Francesca Loose Ginger by opening up and want to talk about it. I hope you manage to overcome it and enjoy the day somehow.

lainey_d_123

retro:electro wrote: »

It’s really sad that the homeless, lonely and bereaved are sapping they joy of our of your Christmas Srameen by opening up to talk about it. I hope you manage to overcome it and enjoy the day somehow.

I know...talk about self absorbed and insensitive!

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1

retro:electro wrote: »

It’s really sad that the homeless, lonely and bereaved are sapping they joy of our of your Christmas Srameen by opening up and want to talk about it. I hope you manage to overcome it and enjoy the day somehow.

That's not what I meant, and you know it.

But carry on, I'll enjoy my Christmas and hope you're doing as much for those less well off, or those who are lonely this Christmas, as some of us are doing very day this week.

Raconteuse

I love Christmas but Christmas after a break-up is ****ing sh1t - having to force smiles when you just want to curl up alone. I can't imagine how awful it is for those going through a bereavement or serious illness. I don't begrudge anyone talking about how hard it is for them. Makes me appreciate what I've got all the more, because I won't have it forever.

LirW

It's also important to keep in mind that this time highlights deep family issues. Just because people don't spend their Christmas alone means they are happy. It's a field day for toxic family dynamics and dysfunctional families to try dragging everyone into this hole of misery.
I only started enjoying my own Christmas when I moved thousands of kilometers away from them.
Stay safe and sane everyone.

retro:electro

retro:electro wrote: »

It’s really sad that the homeless, lonely and bereaved are sapping they joy of our of your Christmas Srameen by opening up to talk about it. I hope you manage to overcome it and enjoy the day somehow.

Jaysus, talk about twisting his words

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1

lainey_d_123 wrote: »

I know...talk about self absorbed and insensitive!

Saturday spent visiting distant neighbour's with no families to celebrate with; delivering turkeys and ham to some less well off families and pensioners today. Tomorrow we go to a care home with gifts and a party. Yes I'm totally insensitive to how Christmas is for some people. :rolleyes:

Still waters

Nothing worse than some arsehole with depression bringing you down at Christmas

lawred2

Belvo boys out in force collecting for the homeless... Wonder how many properties their Dad's own!?

buried

Plenty $hitty things happened to me and my family over the Christmas. Its actually helped me to reign in all the noise over the last few years and just try to enjoy the few days off in the middle of bleak winter. That's all it is now for me. Few days off eating, listening to music, reading and watching some films on the blu rayz. If the forced jollity and consumerism is taking its toll, you can easily rectify that by not watching the mainstream TV stations or listening to the mainstream radio stations for a good two months beforehand. Don't watch that vapid noise all year and you'll really be on the pigs back.

Padre_Pio

lawred2 wrote: »

Belvo boys out in force collecting for the homeless... Wonder how many properties their Dad's own!?

They raise lots of cash for the homeless.
How much did you raise today?

anewme

I've two friends struggling due to extremely tragic situations. I'm not sure how I'd cope with what they've been through this week.

All I can do is offer support and an ear.

Christmas can be a time when people feel alone and isolated.

Pieta House and Aware are there to offer support, should anyone need it.

lainey_d_123

Francesca Loose Ginger wrote: »

Saturday spent visiting distant neighbour's with no families to celebrate with; delivering turkeys and ham to some less well off families and pensioners today. Tomorrow we go to a care home with gifts and a party. Yes I'm totally insensitive to how Christmas is for some people. :rolleyes:

And yet you complained about the reality of people like this being made more prominent and moaned about it spoiling your fun. Weird, that.

GoneHome

Francesca Loose Ginger wrote: »

Newspapers have had an abundance of features for the past ten days or so on loneliness, homelessness, loss and bereavement at Christmas. There have been a couple of threads in that vane too.

While I appreciate Christmas can be a sad time and a lonely time for some, and I have had my share of those Christmases in the past, it's almost sapping the joy out of the occasion this year.

I must say I have to agree with you here Francesca Loose Ginger, I enjoy Christmas as much as I enjoy any other family occasion, it's really only another day as such (and the bloody over-the-top commercialism can be a pain in the proverbial) but what I really enjoy about it is having a couple of weeks off work, meeting up with extended family and friends that I may not have met since this time last year, watching great sport (horse racing, darts, rugby) during the holiday period, that relaxed carefree time. But as you say this Christmas in particular there seems to be an abundance of tv and media reports on the negatives i.e. homelessness, loneliness, etc, give it rest people and focus on the positives

Padre_Pio

retro:electro wrote: »

I don’t believe I have.

Be more like Bob Cratchit, less like Scrooge.

retro:electro

retro:electro wrote: »

I don’t believe I have.

And you are perfectly entitled to that belief.

The Rape of Lucretia

Its certainly the time of the year when the Irish feel most English, and fully embrace the whole host of Christmas traditions that they bequeathed us.

Everything from the turkey dinner, the port and stilton, the mince pies and Christmas pudding, trifle, to the glorious sound of their protestant hymns, the Victorian christmas tree and decorations, crackers, Christmas cards, wren boys and the hunt on the Stephen's Day, pantomime, etc.

Its the one week of the year where we preserve and partake wholeheartedly in the traditions they introduced during our shared history.

Worth raising a glass to.

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1

lainey_d_123 wrote: »

And yet you complained about the reality of people like this being made more prominent and moaned about it spoiling your fun. Weird, that.

I was replying to the OP stating that the mainstream media were ignoring the issues. And, not moaning, just stating that it can actually pull your spirits down dealing with it and being almost ostracised for actually trying to have a joyous time with your own family. I'm not advocating the false jollity and expectations that you must enjoy Christmas but will not be deprived of the love and happiness our family also enjoys over the Christmas season.

But you're determined to find fault, so carry on. I'll celebrate my way and help others as best I can whether it meets with your approval or not.

The Rape of Lucretia

The Rape of Lucretia wrote: »

Its certainly the time of the year when the Irish feel most English, and fully embrace the whole host of Christmas traditions that they bequeathed us.

Everything from the turkey dinner, the port and stilton, the mince pies and Christmas pudding, trifle, to the glorious sound of their protestant hymns, the Victorian christmas tree and decorations, crackers, Christmas cards, wren boys and the hunt on the Stephen's Day, pantomime, etc.

Its the one week of the year where we preserve and partake wholeheartedly in the traditions they introduced during our shared history.

Worth raising a glass to.

Do not feed.

retro:electro

GoneHome wrote: »

I must say I have to agree with you here Srameen, I enjoy Christmas as much as I enjoy any other family occasion, it's really only another day as such (and the bloody over-the-top commercialism can be a pain in the proverbial) but what I really enjoy about it is having a couple of weeks off work, meeting up with extended family and friends that I may not have met since this time last year, watching great sport (horse racing, darts, rugby) during the holiday period, that relaxed carefree time. But as you say this Christmas in particular there seems to be an abundance of tv and media reports on the negatives i.e. homelessness, loneliness, etc, give it rest people and focus on the positives

That’s a very simplistic way of looking at it, to say the least. It’s like telling a person suffering from depression to just cheer up. It’s my first Christmas without my mother this year. I’m dreading it and I miss her a lot. It’s extremely difficult. I started this thread in good faith, to maybe help others and to help myself too. If I’ve misunderstood a post, I apologise, but being told your thread is a downer on someone’s joy is a little crass in my opinion. It’s not my fault you’ve Irish Timed yourself up the eyeballs with issues on the topic. Others may have not and may want to chat. (Not you in particular)

TLDR; stop being a downer on my downer thread

Still waters

lainey_d_123 wrote: »

And yet you complained about the reality of people like this being made more prominent and moaned about it spoiling your fun. Weird, that.

You're talking out your hole

Padre_Pio

The Rape of Lucretia wrote: »

Its certainly the time of the year when the Irish feel most English, and fully embrace the whole host of Christmas traditions that they bequeathed us.

Everything from the turkey dinner, the port and stilton, the mince pies and Christmas pudding, trifle, to the glorious sound of their protestant hymns, the Victorian christmas tree and decorations, crackers, Christmas cards, wren boys and the hunt on the Stephen's Day, pantomime, etc.

Its the one week of the year where we preserve and partake wholeheartedly in the traditions they introduced during our shared history.

Worth raising a glass to.

They did a few things right.

Beats bacon, cabbage and a pint of Guinness, listening to that Cead Mile Failte Romhat a Iosa rubbish.

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Do not feed.

Whoops!

JohnnyFlash

The Rape of Lucretia wrote: »

Its certainly the time of the year when the Irish feel most English, and fully embrace the whole host of Christmas traditions that they bequeathed us.

Everything from the turkey dinner, the port and stilton, the mince pies and Christmas pudding, trifle, to the glorious sound of their protestant hymns, the Victorian christmas tree and decorations, crackers, Christmas cards, wren boys and the hunt on the Stephen's Day, pantomime, etc.

Its the one week of the year where we preserve and partake wholeheartedly in the traditions they introduced during our shared history.

Worth raising a glass to.

Don’t forget the racing in Leopardstown. Where the great and the good of Dublin society congregate at one of the main events of the social calendar.

buried

lol

retro:electro

retro:electro wrote: »

That’s a very simplistic way of looking at it, to say the least. It’s like telling a person suffering from depression to just cheer up. It’s my first Christmas without my mother this year. I’m dreading it and I miss her a lot. It’s extremely difficult. I started this thread in good faith, to maybe help others and to help myself too. If I’ve misunderstood a post, I apologise, but being told your thread is a downer on someone’s joy is a little crass in my opinion. It’s not my fault you’ve Irish Timed yourself up the eyeballs with issues on the topic. Others may have not. (Not you in particular)

Sorry to pick on you again but you have this knack of completely twisting people’s words. Its a more obvious strategy than you may think.

retro:electro

Francesca Loose Ginger wrote: »

I was replying to the OP stating that the mainstream media were ignoring the issues. And, not moaning, just stating that it can actually pull your spirits down dealing with it and being almost ostracised for actually trying to have a joyous time with your own family. I'm not advocating the false jollity and expectations that you must enjoy Christmas but will not be deprived of the love and happiness our family also enjoys over the Christmas season.

But you're determined to find fault, so carry on. I'll celebrate my way and help others as best I can whether it meets with your approval or not.

I never said anyone was ignoring anything. I said it wasn’t touched on as much as it should be at this time of year, which is my opinion. You think it’s an issue that is over saturated and that is fine too. Both opinions can be true. I would never begrudge anyone a lovely Christmas with their family. I plan to make the most of the day myself too, it’s just hard. I apologise if I misunderstood your post.

retro:electro

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Sorry to pick on you again but you have this knack of completely twisting people’s words. Its a more obvious strategy than you may think.

Feel free to tell me what I’ve apparently misrepresented. I’d be happy to clarify.

Raconteuse

Still waters wrote: »

Nothing worse than some arsehole with depression bringing you down at Christmas

What about an arsehole who has lost a child? Or a parent too early in life? Or their partner/spouse or close friend? To suicide or terminal illness or accident?

What about an arsehole who has been diagnosed with cancer?

What is wrong with some of you here? Really, if other people talking about how painful Christmas is for them brings you down... maybe look at things from a less self absorbed point of view, muster up empathy and appreciate what you have and that it's not you going through such pain.

retro:electro

Nothing like a Christmas barney eh? I feel right at home :pac:

retro:electro

retro:electro wrote: »

Feel free to tell me what I’ve apparently misrepresented. I’d be happy to clarify.

I would just point you to the posts you quote. I don’t need any clarification of those myself, they seemed clear to me.

I am sorry for your loss, and hope Christmas is good to you.

retro:electro

[Deleted User] wrote: »

I would just point you to the posts you quote. I don’t need any clarification of those myself, they seemed clear to me.

I am sorry for your loss, and hope Christmas is good to you.

Right... grand. You too

Mam of 4

Christmas after losing a loved one is never easy . It's like life , it'll never be the same again . You get through it as best you can , you'll remember them , you might shed tears , but you'll also laugh , and then maybe feel guilty for laughing , don't feel guilty .
I've lost both parents , miss them every day , but this is "the new normal , life without them " . I'll have laughs and tears over Christmas , take each day as it comes .

All anyone can do is get through it however suits them best .

Airyfairy12

It's such a shame theres no public social events on for people Christmas day, even something small like a meal or something for people who have no where else to go.
I see allot of posts on social media telling people to ring the Samaritans, I understand the volunteers are doing their best and arent qualified to deal with the people that ring but honestly, the helplines are mostly useless, they dont offer help at all they just tell you to try talk to someone.
If you know anyone that you know will be alone on Christmas, reach out, invite them over for dinner or a drink, whats the harm? Chances are they wont accept anyway but being invited will mean the world to them, just knowing someone thought of them and wouldnt mind spending time with them. People are so closed off and dont even know their own neighbors, everyone's wrapped up in their own little worlds.

Raconteuse

Still waters wrote: »

You're talking out your hole

Do explain how.

Still waters wrote: »

Simple, bottle it all up until January, everyone is depressed going back to work school etc.

Moronic and... fairly psychopathic if genuine.

eviltwin

I don't like Christmas but make the best of it for my kids. Even though I have my family I feel very lonely at this time of year.

anewme

Still waters wrote: »

Simple, bottle it all up until January, everyone is depressed going back to work school etc.

I hope it all keeps fine for you.

Still waters

Raconteuse wrote: »

Do explain how.

Moronic and... fairly psychopathic if genuine.

Its now psychopathic to want to enjoy Christmas, would you like us all to be miserable with you, is that it ? If you could wait until January that would be great

GoneHome

Still waters wrote: »

Its now psychopathic to want to enjoy Christmas, would you like us all to be miserable with you, is that it ?

Great come back

Raconteuse

Still waters wrote: »

Its now psychopathic to want to enjoy Christmas

Of course you know I didn't say that.

I love Christmas - can't see where I indicated I'm miserable during it.

Now I know you're more concerned with looking edgy but saying a grieving person should just bottle up their pain so that YOU can enjoy Christmas and everyone gets depressed about January... that's a bit too sh1tty. Important and all as being edgy is.

Padre_Pio

Raconteuse wrote: »

What about an arsehole who has lost a child? Or a parent too early in life? Or their partner/spouse or close friend? To suicide or terminal illness or accident?

What about an arsehole who has been diagnosed with cancer?

What is wrong with some of you here? Really, if other people talking about how painful Christmas is for them brings you down... maybe look at things from a less self absorbed point of view, muster up empathy and appreciate what you have and that it's not you going through such pain.

But what are we meant to do here?
I'm not going to spend my Christmas in sadness so I can show solidarity with someone who is going through a tough time.

We all have good times and bad, but it's very selfish to expect people to change their behaviour because you're not feeling festive.

eviltwin

Still waters wrote: »

Its now psychopathic to want to enjoy Christmas, would you like us all to be miserable with you, is that it ? If you could wait until January that would be great

A thread dedicated to talking about the darker side of Christmas and you feel its appropriate to tell everyone to cheer up? Look no one wants to bring anyone down but it's a good reminder that it's not always an easy time of year for some. It's going to be a difficult week for some and it's okay for them to be honest about that. I hope your Christmas continues to be happy and enjoyable

Raconteuse

GoneHome wrote: »

Great come back

How in the name of god is it a great comeback? It's not even based on accuracy.

Raconteuse

eviltwin wrote: »

A thread dedicated to talking about the darker side of Christmas and you feel its appropriate to tell everyone to cheer up? Look no one wants to bring anyone down but it's a good reminder that it's not always an easy time of year for some. It's going to be a difficult week for some and it's okay for them to be honest about that. I hope your Christmas continues to be happy and enjoyable

You're being way too polite. They're doing a lot more than just saying to cheer up - loony posts.

retro:electro

On second thoughts; I sincerely hope that no one truly struggling actually reads this thread.

Depressing stuff.