The most wonderful time of the year

23-12-2019 10:07PM

retro:electro wrote: »

That’s a very simplistic way of looking at it, to say the least. It’s like telling a person suffering from depression to just cheer up. It’s my first Christmas without my mother this year. I’m dreading it and I miss her a lot. It’s extremely difficult. I started this thread in good faith, to maybe help others and to help myself too. If I’ve misunderstood a post, I apologise, but being told your thread is a downer on someone’s joy is a little crass in my opinion. It’s not my fault you’ve Irish Timed yourself up the eyeballs with issues on the topic. Others may have not. (Not you in particular)

Sorry to pick on you again but you have this knack of completely twisting people’s words. Its a more obvious strategy than you may think.

retro:electro · 23-12-2019 10:08PM

Francesca Loose Ginger wrote: »

I was replying to the OP stating that the mainstream media were ignoring the issues. And, not moaning, just stating that it can actually pull your spirits down dealing with it and being almost ostracised for actually trying to have a joyous time with your own family. I'm not advocating the false jollity and expectations that you must enjoy Christmas but will not be deprived of the love and happiness our family also enjoys over the Christmas season.

But you're determined to find fault, so carry on. I'll celebrate my way and help others as best I can whether it meets with your approval or not.

I never said anyone was ignoring anything. I said it wasn’t touched on as much as it should be at this time of year, which is my opinion. You think it’s an issue that is over saturated and that is fine too. Both opinions can be true. I would never begrudge anyone a lovely Christmas with their family. I plan to make the most of the day myself too, it’s just hard. I apologise if I misunderstood your post.

retro:electro · 23-12-2019 10:11PM

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Sorry to pick on you again but you have this knack of completely twisting people’s words. Its a more obvious strategy than you may think.

Feel free to tell me what I’ve apparently misrepresented. I’d be happy to clarify.

Raconteuse · 23-12-2019 10:15PM

Still waters wrote: »

Nothing worse than some arsehole with depression bringing you down at Christmas

What about an arsehole who has lost a child? Or a parent too early in life? Or their partner/spouse or close friend? To suicide or terminal illness or accident?

What about an arsehole who has been diagnosed with cancer?

What is wrong with some of you here? Really, if other people talking about how painful Christmas is for them brings you down... maybe look at things from a less self absorbed point of view, muster up empathy and appreciate what you have and that it's not you going through such pain.

retro:electro · 23-12-2019 10:16PM

Nothing like a Christmas barney eh? I feel right at home :pac:

23-12-2019 10:18PM

retro:electro wrote: »

Feel free to tell me what I’ve apparently misrepresented. I’d be happy to clarify.

I would just point you to the posts you quote. I don’t need any clarification of those myself, they seemed clear to me.

I am sorry for your loss, and hope Christmas is good to you.

retro:electro · 23-12-2019 10:18PM

[Deleted User] wrote: »

I would just point you to the posts you quote. I don’t need any clarification of those myself, they seemed clear to me.

I am sorry for your loss, and hope Christmas is good to you.

Right... grand. You too

Mam of 4 · 23-12-2019 10:20PM

Christmas after losing a loved one is never easy . It's like life , it'll never be the same again . You get through it as best you can , you'll remember them , you might shed tears , but you'll also laugh , and then maybe feel guilty for laughing , don't feel guilty .
I've lost both parents , miss them every day , but this is "the new normal , life without them " . I'll have laughs and tears over Christmas , take each day as it comes .

All anyone can do is get through it however suits them best .

Airyfairy12 · 23-12-2019 10:22PM

It's such a shame theres no public social events on for people Christmas day, even something small like a meal or something for people who have no where else to go.
I see allot of posts on social media telling people to ring the Samaritans, I understand the volunteers are doing their best and arent qualified to deal with the people that ring but honestly, the helplines are mostly useless, they dont offer help at all they just tell you to try talk to someone.
If you know anyone that you know will be alone on Christmas, reach out, invite them over for dinner or a drink, whats the harm? Chances are they wont accept anyway but being invited will mean the world to them, just knowing someone thought of them and wouldnt mind spending time with them. People are so closed off and dont even know their own neighbors, everyone's wrapped up in their own little worlds.

Raconteuse · 23-12-2019 10:22PM

Still waters wrote: »

You're talking out your hole

Do explain how.

Still waters wrote: »

Simple, bottle it all up until January, everyone is depressed going back to work school etc.

Moronic and... fairly psychopathic if genuine.

eviltwin · 23-12-2019 10:22PM

I don't like Christmas but make the best of it for my kids. Even though I have my family I feel very lonely at this time of year.

anewme · 23-12-2019 10:25PM

Still waters wrote: »

Simple, bottle it all up until January, everyone is depressed going back to work school etc.

I hope it all keeps fine for you.

Still waters · 23-12-2019 10:26PM

Raconteuse wrote: »

Do explain how.

Moronic and... fairly psychopathic if genuine.

Its now psychopathic to want to enjoy Christmas, would you like us all to be miserable with you, is that it ? If you could wait until January that would be great

GoneHome · 23-12-2019 10:29PM

Still waters wrote: »

Its now psychopathic to want to enjoy Christmas, would you like us all to be miserable with you, is that it ?

Great come back

Raconteuse · 23-12-2019 10:31PM

Still waters wrote: »

Its now psychopathic to want to enjoy Christmas

Of course you know I didn't say that.

I love Christmas - can't see where I indicated I'm miserable during it.

Now I know you're more concerned with looking edgy but saying a grieving person should just bottle up their pain so that YOU can enjoy Christmas and everyone gets depressed about January... that's a bit too sh1tty. Important and all as being edgy is.

Padre_Pio · 23-12-2019 10:32PM

Raconteuse wrote: »

What about an arsehole who has lost a child? Or a parent too early in life? Or their partner/spouse or close friend? To suicide or terminal illness or accident?

What about an arsehole who has been diagnosed with cancer?

What is wrong with some of you here? Really, if other people talking about how painful Christmas is for them brings you down... maybe look at things from a less self absorbed point of view, muster up empathy and appreciate what you have and that it's not you going through such pain.

But what are we meant to do here?
I'm not going to spend my Christmas in sadness so I can show solidarity with someone who is going through a tough time.

We all have good times and bad, but it's very selfish to expect people to change their behaviour because you're not feeling festive.

eviltwin · 23-12-2019 10:32PM

Still waters wrote: »

Its now psychopathic to want to enjoy Christmas, would you like us all to be miserable with you, is that it ? If you could wait until January that would be great

A thread dedicated to talking about the darker side of Christmas and you feel its appropriate to tell everyone to cheer up? Look no one wants to bring anyone down but it's a good reminder that it's not always an easy time of year for some. It's going to be a difficult week for some and it's okay for them to be honest about that. I hope your Christmas continues to be happy and enjoyable

Raconteuse · 23-12-2019 10:32PM

GoneHome wrote: »

Great come back

How in the name of god is it a great comeback? It's not even based on accuracy.

Raconteuse · 23-12-2019 10:34PM

eviltwin wrote: »

A thread dedicated to talking about the darker side of Christmas and you feel its appropriate to tell everyone to cheer up? Look no one wants to bring anyone down but it's a good reminder that it's not always an easy time of year for some. It's going to be a difficult week for some and it's okay for them to be honest about that. I hope your Christmas continues to be happy and enjoyable

You're being way too polite. They're doing a lot more than just saying to cheer up - loony posts.

retro:electro · 23-12-2019 10:35PM

On second thoughts; I sincerely hope that no one truly struggling actually reads this thread.

Depressing stuff.

Still waters · 23-12-2019 10:38PM

Raconteuse wrote: »

Of course you know I didn't say that.

I love Christmas - can't see where I indicated I'm miserable during it.

Now I know you're more concerned with looking edgy but saying a grieving person should just bottle up their pain so that YOU can enjoy Christmas and everyone gets depressed about January... that's a bit too sh1tty. Important and all as being edgy is.

Jesus get over yourself

Raconteuse · 23-12-2019 10:39PM

Padre_Pio wrote: »

But what are we meant to do here?
I'm not going to spend my Christmas in sadness so I can show solidarity with someone who is going through a tough time.

We all have good times and bad, but it's very selfish to expect people to change their behaviour because you're not feeling festive.

Ah ffs. And Retro is being told she's twisting things?!

Who the hell said to feel sad or change their behaviour?

It's just a thread started by someone who wants to express how Christmas is a really hard time for some. That's it. Nobody has to stop enjoying their Christmas. Nobody even has to read or comment to the thread. It's just voicing another perspective that can be forgotten.

I'm amazed at how lacking in empathy and self absorbed some of the responses here are.

anewme · 23-12-2019 10:40PM

Still waters wrote: »

Jesus get over yourself

No, you need to.

Have a bit of empathy for others.

Raconteuse · 23-12-2019 10:40PM

retro:electro wrote: »

On second thoughts; I sincerely hope that no one truly struggling actually reads this thread.

Depressing stuff.

I know. Nasty stuff.

Raconteuse · 23-12-2019 10:41PM

Still waters wrote: »

Jesus get over yourself

If only those pesky bereaved and ill folk would just vanish for you.

retro:electro · 23-12-2019 10:42PM

Raconteuse wrote: »

I know. Nasty stuff.

But it’s okay cos they do charitable stuff every other of the week, ya know? :rolleyes:

23-12-2019 10:42PM

Raconteuse wrote: »

Ah ffs. And Retro is being told she's twisting things?!

Who the hell said to feel sad or change their behaviour?

It's just a thread started by someone who wants to express how Christmas is a really hard time for some. That's it. Nobody has to stop enjoying their Christmas. Nobody even has to read or comment to the thread. It's just voicing another perspective that can be forgotten.

I'm amazed at how lacking in empathy and self absorbed some of the responses here are.

Equally, you don’t need to read others’ comments, especially if they are getting you worked up. They are just as much valid ‘perspectives’ as anyone’s.

lainey_d_123 · 23-12-2019 10:42PM

Raconteuse wrote: »

Ah ffs. And Retro is being told she's twisting things?!

Who the hell said to feel sad or change their behaviour?

It's just a thread started by someone who wants to express how Christmas is a really hard time for some. That's it. Nobody has to stop enjoying their Christmas. Nobody even has to read or comment to the thread. It's just voicing another perspective that can be forgotten.

I'm amazed at how lacking in empathy and self absorbed some of the responses here are.

I'm not amazed, because I meet these types of people in real life too, who manage to make absolutely everything about them.

Like how much of a narcissist do you need to be to read an article about people suffering at Christmas and feel resentful that it's 'taking away your joy'?

Raconteuse · 23-12-2019 10:45PM

Deleted User wrote: »

Equally, you don’t need to read others’ comments, especially if they are getting you worked up. They are just as much valid ‘perspectives’ as anyone’s.

Nope. Saying "bottle it up - everyone gets depressed about January" is being a dick to people whose loved ones have died. And no, not all perspectives are equally valid. Nonsense tbh.

retro:electro · 23-12-2019 10:45PM

lainey_d_123 wrote: »

I'm not amazed, because I meet these types of people in real life too, who manage to make absolutely everything about them.

Like how much of a narcissist do you need to be to read an article about people suffering at Christmas and feel resentful that it's 'taking away your joy'?

I’m almost a little jealous of the lack of self awareness.

The most wonderful time of the year

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