Adults Who Want to Vanish

MrAbyss · 17-12-2019 06:00PM #1

I know there are families who worry about relatives who might have mental health issues, but I do also wonder about these people who just want to vanish and be left alone following a bad divorce or similar.

Unless there was a real worry about the person having an intellectual disability, I think sometimes family and police are too fast and eager to put their picture up everywhere with this 'have you seen this man?' without considering the full implication.

A relative of mine dealt with his girlfriend dying of cancer. After if, he packed his bags and just wanted to be left alone with his thoughts for a while a vanish into the world to deal with it. He was on a ferry to Holland and some old bint starts pointing at him and screaming 'there he is!!!' at the top of her voice as his photo went up on TV in Yorkshire and on the internet/local papers.

I do wonder how many 'missing persons' want to be that way and if we should just leave them alone?

rapul · 17-12-2019 06:03PM

Into the abyss perhaps?

In all seriousness I can understand that, humans are a strange breed, better off without most of them to be fair

Apiarist · 17-12-2019 06:04PM

So to be left alone, you have to tell all of your relatives to leave you alone and post your intention on Facebook. Of course, then there is a risk that you can go viral as "A man who is being left alone".

Jellybaby1 · 17-12-2019 06:05PM

Just a message or note for the family explaining would alleviate the worry and agony that families go through when someone 'disappears'. Of course the guards should investigate in case there has been foul play. A young man we know 'disappeared' for a while. He committed suicide poor boy.

Alkers · 17-12-2019 06:05PM

That's all well and good, you could very easily give even one friend or family member a heads up about wanting to be left alone and avoid any of the misunderstanding though?

ILoveYourVibes · 17-12-2019 06:07PM

A member of my family went missing for years. He came back and then did it again.

There is a psychological term for it ..the urge to go missing.

Some people get this overwhelming urge to do it.

Men are most likely to go missing after a night out.

And men go voluntarily missing more than women. I mean women go voluntarily missing less than men go voluntarily missing.

Women who do go missing are usually younger. Teens.

If they do it once ..they will usually do it again.

skooterblue2 · 17-12-2019 06:09PM

Run off and join the French Foreign legion, no one will find you in East Africa training or or deep in south America guarding a Satellite station. Great group of lads. They accept anyone, Imperial Russian Cavalry men, Nazis, Vietnam Vets and that crowd that were in the Cod war years ago.

WrenBoy · 17-12-2019 06:11PM

skooterblue2 wrote: »

They accept anyone, Imperial Russian Cavalry men, Nazis, Vietnam Vets and that crowd that were in the Cod war years ago.

Aquamen ??

One eyed Jack · 17-12-2019 06:12PM

MrAbyss wrote: »

I know there are families who worry about relatives who might have mental health issues, but I do also wonder about these people who just want to vanish and be left alone following a bad divorce or similar.

Unless there was a real worry about the person having an intellectual disability, I think sometimes family and police are too fast and eager to put their picture up everywhere with this 'have you seen this man?' without considering the full implication.

A relative of mine dealt with his girlfriend dying of cancer. After if, he packed his bags and just wanted to be left alone with his thoughts for a while a vanish into the world to deal with it. He was on a ferry to Holland and some old bint starts pointing at him and screaming 'there he is!!!' at the top of her voice as his photo went up on TV in Yorkshire and on the internet/local papers.

I do wonder how many 'missing persons' want to be that way and if we should just leave them alone?

It was an inconvenience for your relative that could have been avoided if he had simply left word with his relatives that he was taking some time out.

No we shouldn’t leave them alone if someone hasn’t made a specific request that they wish to be left alone, and even then if foul play is suspected in their disappearance, the authorities are likely to become involved which means a waste of resources and everyone else time goes on looking for the individual who was thinking only of themselves when they decided to attempt to vanish.

ILoveYourVibes · 17-12-2019 06:13PM

skooterblue2 wrote: »

Run off and join the French Foreign legion, no one will find you in East Africa training or or deep in south America guarding a Satellite station. Great group of lads. They accept anyone, Imperial Russian Cavalry men, Nazis, Vietnam Vets and that crowd that were in the Cod war years ago.

I used to know someone who did that. He was married with a little boy. He got into an accident and his wife and son died but he survived.

So when he was fixed up ...he just walked ..and walked ..aimlessly ...the first people he saw ..was recruiters for the french foreign legion.

He entered ..he was accepted. And became a sniper.

Then years later he suddenly realizes WTF I am a sniper killing people.

Then he left ..moved to dublin (he's belgian) and became a children's party entertainer.

Very intense individual. Never liked to be left alone a lot.

He didn't exactly go missing though i think he did end up telling people.

artanevilla · 17-12-2019 06:13PM

WrenBoy wrote: »

Aquamen ??

There was actually a Cod War between Iceland and the Brits.

LaFuton · 17-12-2019 06:13PM

cod war?

Stephen Gawking · 17-12-2019 06:14PM

A cousin of mine went 'missing' in the early noughties. He had a bit of an adventurous streak in him & would just up stick & go. Started in his teenage years which caused no end of worry but everyone seemed to eventually accept it. Then he went missing for about 2 months & everyone went frantic. His parents eventually got a letter from him saying he was ok. He had travelled to France & enlisted in the foreign legion. He stayed there for years.

Ipso · 17-12-2019 06:17PM

artanevilla wrote: »

There was actually a Cod War between Iceland and the Brits.

Stop trawling up old grievances.

ILoveYourVibes · 17-12-2019 06:18PM

Stephen Gawking wrote: »

A cousin of mine went 'missing' in the early noughties. He had a bit of an adventurous streak in him & would just up stick & go. Started in his teenage years which caused no end of worry but everyone seemed to eventually accept it. Then he went missing for about 2 months & everyone went frantic. His parents eventually got a letter from him saying he was ok. He had travelled to France & enlisted in the foreign legion. He stayed there for years.

I asked the guy i used to know ...

'Why didn't you get the urge to go missing from the legion?'

He said they have psychological protocols to help prevent that.

The French Foreign legion is more 'cult like' than the rest of the French army.

Reviews and Books Galore · 17-12-2019 06:22PM

You meet a lot of people who want to just dissapear. Perhaps they come from bad families, perhaps they've had a bad situaiton, or perhaps they just want to start anew...or run from the law : P

You meet a lot of them in Asia and Eastern Europe. China in particular as it is so big, wild and completly foreign. You can go to the largest capital city and never see another white face.

I always find it funny how a lot of expats go to the largest cities on the planet to be alone

ILoveYourVibes · 17-12-2019 06:31PM

i think about it

scamalert · 17-12-2019 06:53PM

would be more common in likes of US in terms of places to go if one wants change of scenery life, but going without telling a word anyone seems stupid in its right way, specially if person never done anything like that before, so no wonder families would get upset and worried.

as to many stories where sane people that seem ok daily, end up found dead in rivers or worse when they go MIA out of blue.

iamstop · 17-12-2019 06:54PM

Coincidentally just yesterday I watched a few youtube vids on people who disappeared and were found years later. The Trevor Deely thread got me wondering.
There were a few themes that cropped up repeatedly.
1. Women leaving abusive relationships
2. People getting or claiming amnesia and literally forgetting who they were
3. Young adults wanting to leave/disown their parents.

Car99 · 17-12-2019 06:59PM

ILoveYourVibes wrote: »

i think about it

Unfortunate your ability to type hasnt gone missing.

Montage of Feck · 17-12-2019 07:34PM

I regret not running away and joining the legion. Anybody know the cut off age for enlisting?

ILoveYourVibes · 17-12-2019 07:37PM

Car99 wrote: »

Unfortunate your ability to type hasnt gone missing.

Still worse neither has yours.

Working class heroes · 17-12-2019 07:42PM

Ipso wrote: »

Stop trawling up old grievances.

Agreed, not really the plaice for it.

ArchXStanton · 17-12-2019 07:44PM

I wonder how many just went on a session for a few days

ILoveYourVibes · 17-12-2019 07:44PM

ArchXStanton wrote: »

I wonder how many just went on a session for a few days

And never came back.

17-12-2019 07:46PM

Adults who want to be left alone? I moved to China.

That worked for a decade until social media became so commonly accessible.

It's pretty hard to escape everyone these days unless you go completely dark (no social media, no contact with others, etc). Still.. I talk to my parents every month or so. And that's about it. My long-term friends understand that this is my personality. I just can't keep in touch and interested. I honestly tried for a decade, but meh! It's just not me. I return to Ireland every year or so, but I'm alone most of the time, beyond the newer friends I make abroad, and they're used to that kind of friendship. Perfectly good existence. Not for everyone, I'd imagine.

Aint Eazy Being Cheezy · 17-12-2019 07:47PM

Car99 wrote: »

Unfortunate your ability to type hasnt gone missing.

Would you be as much of a prick to her face?

RobbingBandit · 17-12-2019 07:48PM

Way too many cameras now dash cams being a huge thorn in any escape plans you'll as in I will be seen somehow someway I need Snake Plissken to press the button knocking all technology offline worldwide, or just to actually be a ****ing man and do it.

bmc58 · 17-12-2019 07:52PM

skooterblue2 wrote: »

Run off and join the French Foreign legion, no one will find you in East Africa training or or deep in south America guarding a Satellite station. Great group of lads. They accept anyone, Imperial Russian Cavalry men, Nazis, Vietnam Vets and that crowd that were in the Cod war years ago.

Many years ago my wife minded a Doctors children for years.All of them went to Uni except one,who disappeared and after a few years the family heard he had joined the bloody French Foreign Legion (he was about 19).It was a massive shock for the Dr and his wife.But he served his time in the legion and came home and is doing grand.People are funny,but sometimes things work out ok in the end after they have sorted their heads out.

ILoveYourVibes · 17-12-2019 07:55PM

Why don't people join their own armies??? Whats with the french foreign legion??

i know several people who joined or almost joined!???

dubstarr · 17-12-2019 08:04PM

My uncle disappeared for years at a time.
He came back now and again,only to disappear again.

He always sent a letter every few years though,so they knew he was still alive.

He came home finally and died here not long after.

Adults Who Want to Vanish

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