Would you take you wife back if she cheated?

Tony_Clifton · 13-12-2019 04:46PM #1

my brothers wife, it transpires was as having a sexual affair(going on months) with a younger man from her work.
the brother found out, pictures, text messages etc.
when it came the the young stud ran a mile.
now the brothers wife is begging for my brother to take her back and save their marriage for the sake of the kids.
they both are still in family home she refuses to leave and wants him to forgot about everything and move on.
to be honest i never liked her she has sucked the life out of brother since they got married.
very high opinion of herself and always looking for attention.
the brother hasnt helped the situation and over the last five years has put on about 4/5 stone and doesnt look after himself.
she said just wanted to feel "sexy" and wanted.
im afraid to give him advice as i think he should walk and never look back, but i know the family is important
any advice ?

eviltwin · 13-12-2019 04:48PM

Stay out of it is my advice.

granturismo · 13-12-2019 04:48PM

Tony_Clifton wrote: »

any advice ?

Dont post this in After Hours

D3V!L · 13-12-2019 04:49PM

Tell him to grow a pair and kick her out. If she says she still lives there tell her she doesn't because all of her stuff is burning in the back yard. She'll get the hint.

wakka12 · 13-12-2019 04:50PM

If it was a once off thing maybe but a continuous affair with another person going on for months is totally different and I wouldnt take them back, she didnt 'cheat' she continuously cheated over and over and over. That she did while she had children just makes it even worse, and theyre not even together that long either, 4 years

Plumbthedepths · 13-12-2019 04:50PM

As already said, wrong forum and stay out of it. Let them sort it themselves.

WrenBoy · 13-12-2019 04:52PM

If it was the other way around could he just refuse to leave the house ? Like fook, guards would be in removing him, while he still pays the mortgage of course. Its a mans world.

Bummer1234 · 13-12-2019 04:53PM

This is going to go well in after hours.............:o

13-12-2019 04:53PM

I doubt the youngfella has gone very far.

facehugger99 · 13-12-2019 04:53PM

D3V!L wrote: »

Tell him to grow a pair and kick her out.

Sounds like he grew more than a pair - "over the last five years has put on about 4/5 stone and doesnt look after himself."

Jesus - I don't blame the wife for going after someone a bit more palatable.

emeldc · 13-12-2019 04:53PM

Without condoning what she did, there are two sides to every coin. Only they know how they feel about each other and need to work it out for themselves. And tell him not to be telling anyone. It's no one else's business. It's probably the worst thing he could do.

Tilikum17 · 13-12-2019 04:55PM

If my wife did it, she’d be gone. Same if I did it to her - I’d be gone.

We have no kids as yet though.

weetiepie · 13-12-2019 04:55PM

As advised already stay out of it..your brother has to come to terms with this himself. support him in the meantime. He'll really need all the support he can get.

mikhail · 13-12-2019 04:55PM

If he's even contemplating splitting, tell him to speak to an appropriately experienced solicitor. It may factor into his decision if 'kicking her out' will leave him homeless, living off a fraction of his pay, and only able to see his kids every other weekend. Or maybe the family courts have improved in this regard. Anyway, he should ask a professional.

In all other regards, keep your nose clean. Support him, sure, but he's an adult and can make his own decisions.

Your Face · 13-12-2019 04:55PM

Your brothers wife's number please.

Bummer1234 · 13-12-2019 04:57PM

Is there a mortgage involved here or anything?, They main thing here is keeping a safe roof over the kids heads and keep them out of it as much as possible, Perhaps you OP take the kids away for a few hours and let them talk.

Ace Attorney · 13-12-2019 04:58PM

No the trust is gone. So it wouldnt be the same

Stevieluvsye · 13-12-2019 04:59PM

Tony_Clifton wrote: »

my brothers wife, it transpires was as having a sexual affair(going on months) with a younger man from her work.
the brother found out, pictures, text messages etc.
when it came the the young stud ran a mile.
now the brothers wife is begging for my brother to take her back and save their marriage for the sake of the kids.
they both are still in family home she refuses to leave and wants him to forgot about everything and move on.
to be honest i never liked her she has sucked the life out of brother since they got married.
very high opinion of herself and always looking for attention.
the brother hasnt helped the situation and over the last five years has put on about 4/5 stone and doesnt look after himself.
she said just wanted to feel "sexy" and wanted.
im afraid to give him advice as i think he should walk and never look back, but i know the family is important
any advice ?

Can you send me these pics for authentication purposes?

randd1 · 13-12-2019 04:59PM

Get rid of her.

The marriage is all but over, and the brother should just start enjoying single life again. These days tinder is supposed to be great craic.

If she had thought about the kids in the first place, she wouldn't have done it. And if the kids are her concern, then the inevitable screaming matches ye're going have won't do them any good either. for their sakes, it's better to split.

Or encourage your brother to start sleeping with his sister-in-law for the ultimate revenge. Or better yet, have a threesome with her best friend and sister-in-law and really go all out.

Stevieluvsye · 13-12-2019 05:00PM

randd1 wrote: »

Get rid of her.

The marriage is all but over, and the brother should just start enjoying single life again. These days tinder is supposed to be great craic.

If she had thought about the kids in the first place, she wouldn't have done it. And if the kids are her concern, then the inevitable screaming matches ye're going have won't do them any good either. for their sakes, it's better to split.

Or encourage your brother to start sleeping with his sister-in-law for the ultimate revenge. Or better yet, have a threesome with her best friend and sister-in-law and really go all out.

Sound advice. Although he is made out to be a bit of a munter

IAMAMORON · 13-12-2019 05:02PM

Divorces are messy, kids etc. Not good.

If he doesn't lose 4 stone he will be struggling to find another partner.

Counselling is an option. But it rarely works.

Women don't "come around" , she simply does not fancy him anymore. Life is not a dress rehearsal.

Pauliedragon · 13-12-2019 05:04PM

Tell him change the locks while she's out. If she whinges tell her the pics and messages are getting sent to her friends/family/workplace if she doesn't stay gone.

golfball37 · 13-12-2019 05:04PM

I would start by getting her to tell her family and friends. If she's serious she can live with the shame for the greater good. If she's not then he needs to say its over and he would like her to move out.

WrenBoy · 13-12-2019 05:06PM

Ace Attorney wrote: »

No the trust is gone. So it wouldnt be the same

Ya, I know if it were me I could never see them the same, In the back of your mind you'd always be wondering if its happening again.

facehugger99 · 13-12-2019 05:08PM

randd1 wrote: »

Or encourage your brother to start sleeping with his sister-in-law for the ultimate revenge.

The OP's wife?

Interesting.

13-12-2019 05:08PM

Gone, always gone. No second chances for that no matter what.

randd1 · 13-12-2019 05:13PM

facehugger99 wrote: »

The OP's wife?

Interesting.

Hadn't thought of that angle to be honest, I should have phrased it as the brother's wife's sister.

Your suggestion is a bit too much for a lad to help his brother out.

realdanbreen · 13-12-2019 05:14PM

Tony_Clifton wrote: »

my brothers wife, it transpires was as having a sexual affair(going on months) with a younger man from her work.
the brother found out, pictures, text messages etc.
when it came the the young stud ran a mile.
now the brothers wife is begging for my brother to take her back and save their marriage for the sake of the kids.
they both are still in family home she refuses to leave and wants him to forgot about everything and move on.
to be honest i never liked her she has sucked the life out of brother since they got married.
very high opinion of herself and always looking for attention.
the brother hasnt helped the situation and over the last five years has put on about 4/5 stone and doesnt look after himself.
she said just wanted to feel "sexy" and wanted.
im afraid to give him advice as i think he should walk and never look back, but i know the family is important
any advice ?

" Oh ROOO OO B, don't take your love to town...."

Some photos of the relevant parties please so we can get a better picture of what's happening here.

ITman88 · 13-12-2019 05:15PM

facehugger99 wrote: »

Jesus - I don't blame the wife for going after someone a bit more palatable.

Kinda true this. I’m sure in a marriage when your partner puts on 4 or 5 stone the attraction withers and dies!!
It’s a lack of respect towards a partner not to make an effort after the gain of 2 or 3 stone!

henryporter · 13-12-2019 05:16PM

This is more or less the plot of Ulysses by Jimmy Joyce - nothing as desperate as a cuckold. He should say "yeah come back honey as long as ya don't mind me going on a Tinder splurge and just squaring the circle here"

13-12-2019 05:17PM

IAMAMORON wrote: »

If he doesn't lose 4 stone he will be struggling to find another partner.

Wut ?

Would you take you wife back if she cheated?

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