Would you take you wife back if she cheated?

Tony_Clifton

my brothers wife, it transpires was as having a sexual affair(going on months) with a younger man from her work.
the brother found out, pictures, text messages etc.
when it came the the young stud ran a mile.
now the brothers wife is begging for my brother to take her back and save their marriage for the sake of the kids.
they both are still in family home she refuses to leave and wants him to forgot about everything and move on.
to be honest i never liked her she has sucked the life out of brother since they got married.
very high opinion of herself and always looking for attention.
the brother hasnt helped the situation and over the last five years has put on about 4/5 stone and doesnt look after himself.
she said just wanted to feel "sexy" and wanted.
im afraid to give him advice as i think he should walk and never look back, but i know the family is important
any advice ?

eviltwin

Stay out of it is my advice.

granturismo

Tony_Clifton wrote: »

any advice ?

Dont post this in After Hours

D3V!L

Tell him to grow a pair and kick her out. If she says she still lives there tell her she doesn't because all of her stuff is burning in the back yard. She'll get the hint.

wakka12

If it was a once off thing maybe but a continuous affair with another person going on for months is totally different and I wouldnt take them back, she didnt 'cheat' she continuously cheated over and over and over. That she did while she had children just makes it even worse, and theyre not even together that long either, 4 years

Plumbthedepths

As already said, wrong forum and stay out of it. Let them sort it themselves.

WrenBoy

If it was the other way around could he just refuse to leave the house ? Like fook, guards would be in removing him, while he still pays the mortgage of course. Its a mans world.

Bummer1234

This is going to go well in after hours.............:o

I doubt the youngfella has gone very far.

facehugger99

D3V!L wrote: »

Tell him to grow a pair and kick her out.

Sounds like he grew more than a pair - "over the last five years has put on about 4/5 stone and doesnt look after himself."


Jesus - I don't blame the wife for going after someone a bit more palatable.

emeldc

Without condoning what she did, there are two sides to every coin. Only they know how they feel about each other and need to work it out for themselves. And tell him not to be telling anyone. It's no one else's business. It's probably the worst thing he could do.

Tilikum17

If my wife did it, she’d be gone. Same if I did it to her - I’d be gone.

We have no kids as yet though.

weetiepie

As advised already stay out of it..your brother has to come to terms with this himself. support him in the meantime. He'll really need all the support he can get.

mikhail

If he's even contemplating splitting, tell him to speak to an appropriately experienced solicitor. It may factor into his decision if 'kicking her out' will leave him homeless, living off a fraction of his pay, and only able to see his kids every other weekend. Or maybe the family courts have improved in this regard. Anyway, he should ask a professional.

In all other regards, keep your nose clean. Support him, sure, but he's an adult and can make his own decisions.

Your Face

Your brothers wife's number please.

Bummer1234

Is there a mortgage involved here or anything?, They main thing here is keeping a safe roof over the kids heads and keep them out of it as much as possible, Perhaps you OP take the kids away for a few hours and let them talk.

Ace Attorney

No the trust is gone. So it wouldnt be the same

Stevieluvsye

Tony_Clifton wrote: »

my brothers wife, it transpires was as having a sexual affair(going on months) with a younger man from her work.
the brother found out, pictures, text messages etc.
when it came the the young stud ran a mile.
now the brothers wife is begging for my brother to take her back and save their marriage for the sake of the kids.
they both are still in family home she refuses to leave and wants him to forgot about everything and move on.
to be honest i never liked her she has sucked the life out of brother since they got married.
very high opinion of herself and always looking for attention.
the brother hasnt helped the situation and over the last five years has put on about 4/5 stone and doesnt look after himself.
she said just wanted to feel "sexy" and wanted.
im afraid to give him advice as i think he should walk and never look back, but i know the family is important
any advice ?

Can you send me these pics for authentication purposes?

randd1

Get rid of her.

The marriage is all but over, and the brother should just start enjoying single life again. These days tinder is supposed to be great craic.

If she had thought about the kids in the first place, she wouldn't have done it. And if the kids are her concern, then the inevitable screaming matches ye're going have won't do them any good either. for their sakes, it's better to split.

Or encourage your brother to start sleeping with his sister-in-law for the ultimate revenge. Or better yet, have a threesome with her best friend and sister-in-law and really go all out.

Stevieluvsye

randd1 wrote: »

Get rid of her.

The marriage is all but over, and the brother should just start enjoying single life again. These days tinder is supposed to be great craic.

If she had thought about the kids in the first place, she wouldn't have done it. And if the kids are her concern, then the inevitable screaming matches ye're going have won't do them any good either. for their sakes, it's better to split.

Or encourage your brother to start sleeping with his sister-in-law for the ultimate revenge. Or better yet, have a threesome with her best friend and sister-in-law and really go all out.

Sound advice. Although he is made out to be a bit of a munter

IAMAMORON

Divorces are messy, kids etc. Not good.

If he doesn't lose 4 stone he will be struggling to find another partner.

Counselling is an option. But it rarely works.

Women don't "come around" , she simply does not fancy him anymore. Life is not a dress rehearsal.

Pauliedragon

Tell him change the locks while she's out. If she whinges tell her the pics and messages are getting sent to her friends/family/workplace if she doesn't stay gone.

golfball37

I would start by getting her to tell her family and friends. If she's serious she can live with the shame for the greater good. If she's not then he needs to say its over and he would like her to move out.

WrenBoy

Ace Attorney wrote: »

No the trust is gone. So it wouldnt be the same

Ya, I know if it were me I could never see them the same, In the back of your mind you'd always be wondering if its happening again.

facehugger99

randd1 wrote: »

Or encourage your brother to start sleeping with his sister-in-law for the ultimate revenge.

The OP's wife?

Interesting.

Gone, always gone. No second chances for that no matter what.

randd1

facehugger99 wrote: »

The OP's wife?

Interesting.

Hadn't thought of that angle to be honest, I should have phrased it as the brother's wife's sister.

Your suggestion is a bit too much for a lad to help his brother out.

realdanbreen

Tony_Clifton wrote: »

my brothers wife, it transpires was as having a sexual affair(going on months) with a younger man from her work.
the brother found out, pictures, text messages etc.
when it came the the young stud ran a mile.
now the brothers wife is begging for my brother to take her back and save their marriage for the sake of the kids.
they both are still in family home she refuses to leave and wants him to forgot about everything and move on.
to be honest i never liked her she has sucked the life out of brother since they got married.
very high opinion of herself and always looking for attention.
the brother hasnt helped the situation and over the last five years has put on about 4/5 stone and doesnt look after himself.
she said just wanted to feel "sexy" and wanted.
im afraid to give him advice as i think he should walk and never look back, but i know the family is important
any advice ?

" Oh ROOO OO B, don't take your love to town...."

Some photos of the relevant parties please so we can get a better picture of what's happening here.

ITman88

facehugger99 wrote: »

Jesus - I don't blame the wife for going after someone a bit more palatable.

Kinda true this. I’m sure in a marriage when your partner puts on 4 or 5 stone the attraction withers and dies!!
It’s a lack of respect towards a partner not to make an effort after the gain of 2 or 3 stone!

henryporter

This is more or less the plot of Ulysses by Jimmy Joyce - nothing as desperate as a cuckold. He should say "yeah come back honey as long as ya don't mind me going on a Tinder splurge and just squaring the circle here"

Kopparberg Strawberry and Lime

IAMAMORON wrote: »

If he doesn't lose 4 stone he will be struggling to find another partner.

Wut ?

henryporter

Kopparberg Strawberry and Lime wrote: »

Wut ?

its all in the username

IAMAMORON

Kopparberg Strawberry and Lime wrote: »

Wut ?

I think it makes sense?

The op said his brother has let things go weight wise, it happens, but on the basis that his marriage is probably over, he will need to trim down if he wants a new partner.

Women have standards the last time I looked....?

John_Rambo

D3V!L wrote: »

Tell him to grow a pair and kick her out. If she says she still lives there tell her she doesn't because all of her stuff is burning in the back yard. She'll get the hint.

Clueless post.

If they break up, she'll remain in the house with the kids. Your brother will end up back in your folks or renting. After there's a divorce the house will be hers and your brother will be paying for some of it and maintenance.

Sorry, but this is the realistic outcome if they break up. All the macho "kick her out" stuff in just internet hard man talk.

WrenBoy

facehugger99 wrote: »

Sounds like he grew more than a pair - "over the last five years has put on about 4/5 stone and doesnt look after himself."


Jesus - I don't blame the wife for going after someone a bit more palatable.

ITman88 wrote: »

Kinda true this. I’m sure in a marriage when your partner puts on 4 or 5 stone the attraction withers and dies!!
It’s a lack of respect towards a partner not to make an effort after the gain of 2 or 3 stone!

No Fat Chicks

Also dont get married its a lose-lose for men

ILoveYourVibes

no

Has anyone here (with kids) ever cheated on their husband/wife?

Fr_Dougal

7/10

Not a bad effort, OP.

corner of hells

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Has anyone here (with kids) ever cheated on their husband/wife?

Yeah , I did.

ITman88

WrenBoy wrote: »

No Fat Chicks

Also dont get married its a lose-lose for men

I think your right. When you think about the idea it’s crazy, Telling someone you want to marry them and will love them no matter what, the risk of that someone then changing radically doesn’t seem worth the reward. . .

ILoveYourVibes

Originally Posted by WrenBoy View Post
No Fat Chicks

Also dont get married its a lose-lose for men

That's why you don't get to choose. You just have to! Or she denies you the boobies!

Car99

Arra tell him take her back save a lot of hassle looking for a new one, getting divorced, explaining to the kids.

ILoveYourVibes

Car99 wrote: »

Arra tell him take her back save a lot of hassle looking for a new one, getting divorced, explaining to the kids.

Kids don't notice things mothers do.....she could be gone for yrs and they would just notice the washing up piles!

Edgware

Tell her that you will ask the brother to take her back once she "entertains" you once a week

ITman88

Car99 wrote: »

Arra tell him take her back save a lot of hassle looking for a new one, getting divorced, explaining to the kids.

Ara tis handier really I suppose! Fierce hassle looking for a new one and it might need a lot of work!!!

ILoveYourVibes

Edgware wrote: »

Tell her that you will ask the brother to take her back once she "entertains" you once a week

Do you wanna be ..where your brother has been?

gifted

Tony_Clifton wrote: »

my brothers wife, it transpires was as having a sexual affair(going on months) with a younger man from her work.
the brother found out, pictures, text messages etc.
when it came the the young stud ran a mile.
now the brothers wife is begging for my brother to take her back and save their marriage for the sake of the kids.
they both are still in family home she refuses to leave and wants him to forgot about everything and move on.
to be honest i never liked her she has sucked the life out of brother since they got married.
very high opinion of herself and always looking for attention.
the brother hasnt helped the situation and over the last five years has put on about 4/5 stone and doesnt look after himself.
she said just wanted to feel "sexy" and wanted.
im afraid to give him advice as i think he should walk and never look back, but i know the family is important
any advice ?

Wonder what she sucked out of the young buck?

GaGa21

A one night stand, even a sexual affair I may forgive. Sex is sex and we're all only human! Especially if there were problems in the marriage. But both parties would have to be committed to change to work things out.

An emotional, sexual, love affair? Now there would be no going back from that betrayal.

MrAbyss

I know quite a few couples who survived an affair - both men and women - what can I say true love survived. The reasons are often complex for why people have affairs. It's not always sex. Sometimes circumstances change in life, other times it can be akin to a kind of nervous breakdown. I try not to judge people too much this way anymore.

nullzero

Four pages in and not a single mention of a chastity belt?

Montage of Feck

He now has a free pass.;)