Whingy Returning Emigrants

Lillyfae · 04-11-2019 03:11PM

bitofabind wrote: »

Yeah it's a fairly emotionally immature reaction to be fair. She's young though, and has spent her years in NY listening to people tell her that anything is possible and suddenly, bang, it's not.

The human instinct in these situations can be to blame blame blame, and judge judge judge judge - you're not as enlightened as me and also, fcuk you for not changing like I have and not appreciating my new enlightened ways.

The reactions she'll be getting to that article sadly will probably just be reinforcing that view.

She's not that young though? I'm not that much older than her. It's the entitlement that's made her emotionally immature as far as I can tell. If she was getting by in New York waiting tables there must have been some kind of supplementation from parents going on, she's bound to be immature. A lesson to all on giving too much help definitely. And you've certainly just shot her journalistic "skills" to pieces with your perfect analysis above.

BENDYBINN · 04-11-2019 03:24PM

Almost 400 posts and people are still discussing Nollaig.....she sure hit a sore spot.....

04-11-2019 04:38PM

Edgware wrote: »

Hopefully they will improve the gene pool and reduce the level of inbdreeding by village idiots that produced you

I was adopted from a Magdalene laundry at 4 weeks. Perhaps your grandfather and your mother are my real parents.

Electric Sheep · 04-11-2019 04:39PM

Lillyfae wrote: »

She's not that young though? I'm not that much older than her. It's the entitlement that's made her emotionally immature as far as I can tell. If she was getting by in New York waiting tables there must have been some kind of supplementation from parents going on, she's bound to be immature. A lesson to all on giving too much help definitely. And you've certainly just shot her journalistic "skills" to pieces with your perfect analysis above.

You can earn a pretty good living waiting tables in New York. No parental subsidy required. It can actually be a bit difficult to transition to an entry level day job because of the difference in take home pay.

Bigbagofcans · 04-11-2019 04:45PM

Electric Sheep wrote: »

You can earn a pretty good living waiting tables in New York. No parental subsidy required. It can actually be a bit difficult to transition to an entry level day job because of the difference in take home pay.

Working in a busy bar is where the real money is. I know a girl working in NY and she's making $1500-2000 a week and she only works 4 nights. She's not rushing to come home anytime soon.

JoseDogMan · 04-11-2019 04:54PM

"Woman Finds Transition Difficult"

stop presses.

Ray Palmer · 04-11-2019 04:58PM

These articles in the papers always come from a limited group of people. Inevitably it is somebody who is a failed journalist or writer. They contact an old friend who stayed in Ireland and get thrown a writing job about their experiences returning to Ireland.
You see the same thing time and time again.
People moaning that a low skill job in the US and being able to live off the income because of the tip system. The fact they are foreign with good English means they get choice jobs in expensive businesses where tips are considerable. Try to get the same job as a US citizen and it very difficult for many especially if you are a minority who speaks with an accent or in common vernacular.
She doesn't even understand the advantages given to her.

lawred2 · 04-11-2019 05:38PM

Bigbagofcans wrote: »

Working in a busy bar is where the real money is. I know a girl working in NY and she's making $1500-2000 a week and she only works 4 nights. She's not rushing to come home anytime soon.

A titty bar?

BENDYBINN · 04-11-2019 05:39PM

lawred2 wrote: »

A titty bar?

Jealous

lawred2 · 04-11-2019 05:41PM

BENDYBINN wrote: »

Jealous

Jealous of what? I make more than that here.

BENDYBINN · 04-11-2019 05:45PM

lawred2 wrote: »

Jealous of what? I make more than that here.

You the man....

lawred2 · 04-11-2019 06:04PM

BENDYBINN wrote: »

You the man....

Thanks Bro...

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts · 04-11-2019 06:10PM

bitofabind wrote: »

Yeah it's a fairly emotionally immature reaction to be fair. She's young though, and has spent her years in NY listening to people tell her that anything is possible and suddenly, bang, it's not.

The human instinct in these situations can be to blame blame blame, and judge judge judge judge - you're not as enlightened as me and also, fcuk you for not changing like I have and not appreciating my new enlightened ways.

The reactions she'll be getting to that article sadly will probably just be reinforcing that view.

She’s 29! Think of what some people have achieved by that point in their lives.

vriesmays · 04-11-2019 08:11PM

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts wrote: »

She’s 29! Think of what some people have achieved by that point in their lives.

Albert Camus had published The Stranger.
Francois Truffaut had directed 400 blows.

ancapailldorcha · 04-11-2019 08:16PM

partyguinness wrote: »

If I decided to move back for good it would be some shock but alright but I know what is waiting for me. But she seems to have had her hand forced on the issue which does not help.

This is the kicker, though.

Recently, I made the mistake of letting slip to my Mum the existence of a job in my field in rural NI. She kept urging me to apply for it but I didn't knowing that I'd be miserable and bored stiff.

Same with my hometown. I know noone there any more and it took me moving away to realise that I'd nothing in common with people there. This isn't to say anything negative about rural Ireland. I love visiting but if I moved there and became miserable, I'd just hate the place and that would just be unfair.

Bigbagofcans · 04-11-2019 08:54PM

lawred2 wrote: »

A titty bar?

Nah, just your typical Irish bar in NY. The older regular customers tip her nicely.

cj maxx · 04-11-2019 08:58PM

Bigbagofcans wrote: »

Working in a busy bar is where the real money is. I know a girl working in NY and she's making $1500-2000 a week and she only works 4 nights. She's not rushing to come home anytime soon.

Yep , and if they change cheques, or checks, they can take it in !

PostWoke · 04-11-2019 09:58PM

BENDYBINN wrote: »

Almost 400 posts and people are still discussing Nollaig.....she sure hit a sore spot.....

You should see the Greta thread.

PostWoke · 04-11-2019 10:01PM

Lillyfae wrote: »

No, I'm thinking that crying every day would only be considered normal in the case of small children.

I'm certainly not criticizing the woman, I'm just saying that if this is the case then that's a red flag for her mental health and leaving New York was probably for the best.

No, crying every day is not exclusively for small children, nor would small children cry every day as a rule.

Why would you think leaving New York was the best thing for her? Or world leading mental healthcare? Give over :pac:

Edgware · 04-11-2019 11:05PM

171170 wrote: »

I was adopted from a Magdalene laundry at 4 weeks. Perhaps your grandfather and your mother are my real parents.

Your Ma was great between the sheets

Raconteuse · 04-11-2019 11:24PM

PostWoke wrote: »

Claiming to have had depression while not at all understanding depression, sure checks out, I definitely believe you.

Not great of you to be telling someone they didn't have depression!

I did - and it didn't make me any less responsible for myself, nor did it make everything everyone else's or everywhere else's fault. Where does it say that she has depression anyway?

This is a mostly rural island of approximately six million people - why do people think it can be in any way comparable with countries that have several times the population? Because we speak English?

If she misses NYC, fair enough - I don't think that's bothering anyone. Implying how inferior and how much less interesting we are though... and what does that make her then? Seeing as she came from here in the first place. Being puzzled at Belfast being less exciting than NYC... is that not kinda... stupid?

05-11-2019 04:22AM

ancapailldorcha wrote: »

This is the kicker, though.

Recently, I made the mistake of letting slip to my Mum the existence of a job in my field in rural NI. She kept urging me to apply for it but I didn't knowing that I'd be miserable and bored stiff.

Same with my hometown. I know noone there any more and it took me moving away to realise that I'd nothing in common with people there. This isn't to say anything negative about rural Ireland. I love visiting but if I moved there and became miserable, I'd just hate the place and that would just be unfair.

Ditto. I'm living in a city of 9 million now. Last year, it was a city of 17 million. My hometown has 10k (at most). I can eat any time of the night here, whereas everything is shut at 11 am at home (apart from bars and fast food). Bars and clubs don't close until 7 am here... at home? Ugh.

But it's also population, and dating/friendship opportunities. I have a friends circle of over three thousand people on my phone that I know are in my current city, of which I can call most of them for a coffee or dinner. At home, I know four people, and they're usually busy with family/work. But still, my parents would love for me to return (they often forward job ads and such). Not going to happen though until I'm much older (if that)

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts · 05-11-2019 04:48AM

Deleted User wrote: »

Ditto. I'm living in a city of 9 million now. Last year, it was a city of 17 million. My hometown has 10k (at most). I can eat any time of the night here, whereas everything is shut at 11 am at home (apart from bars and fast food). Bars and clubs don't close until 7 am here... at home? Ugh.

But it's also population, and dating/friendship opportunities. I have a friends circle of over three thousand people on my phone that I know are in my current city, of which I can call most of them for a coffee or dinner. At home, I know four people, and they're usually busy with family/work. But still, my parents would love for me to return (they often forward job ads and such). Not going to happen though until I'm much older (if that)

You can call 3000 people to do that? How is that possible? How is it possible to get to know that amount of people well enough to arrange social meetings with them?

Samuri Suicide · 05-11-2019 04:49AM

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Ditto. I'm living in a city of 9 million now. Last year, it was a city of 17 million. My hometown has 10k (at most). I can eat any time of the night here, whereas everything is shut at 11 am at home (apart from bars and fast food). Bars and clubs don't close until 7 am here... at home? Ugh.

But it's also population, and dating/friendship opportunities. I have a friends circle of over three thousand people on my phone that I know are in my current city, of which I can call most of them for a coffee or dinner. At home, I know four people, and they're usually busy with family/work. But still, my parents would love for me to return (they often forward job ads and such). Not going to happen though until I'm much older (if that)

"friend circle of over 3 thousand" - enjoy the time away but please stop talking ****e. This seems more of a problem with you than your location.
You are a reflection of yourself whether home or away.

05-11-2019 04:54AM

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts wrote: »

You can call 3000 people to do that? How is that possible? How is it possible to get to know that amount of people well enough to arrange social meetings with them?

I've lived 11 years in Xi'an, and I'm a University lecturer. Networking is an essential part of life here.

Samuri Suicide wrote:

"friend circle of over 3 thousand" - enjoy the time away but please stop talking ****e. This seems more of a problem with you than your location.You are a reflection of yourself whether home or away.

Have a mug of tea and relax... Good lord. :rolleyes:

Samuri Suicide · 05-11-2019 05:08AM

[Deleted User] wrote: »

I've lived 11 years in Xi'an, and I'm a University lecturer. Networking is an essential part of life here.

Have a mug of tea and relax... Good lord. :rolleyes:

You are embarrassing...

05-11-2019 05:10AM

Samuri Suicide wrote: »

You are embarrassing...

Lillyfae · 05-11-2019 08:19AM

Electric Sheep wrote: »

You can earn a pretty good living waiting tables in New York. No parental subsidy required. It can actually be a bit difficult to transition to an entry level day job because of the difference in take home pay.

I knew the tips were where the earning power was but wasn't aware that it would be quite so lucrative. Life long learning, wha? Bet the rent is pretty cheeky though :pac:

PostWoke wrote: »

No, crying every day is not exclusively for small children, nor would small children cry every day as a rule.

Why would you think leaving New York was the best thing for her? Or world leading mental healthcare? Give over :pac:

Go on away with your paraphrasing. Grown adults don't cry on a daily basis unless there's an issue- be it drama, or mental health, or whatever. Living in Belfast is not an issue.

MrAbyss · 05-11-2019 09:29AM

Yet more of this drivel in today's IT. Between this and the endless fawning over Greta Thunbergs latests Veruca Salt type meltdown I am really starting to wonder who this rag represents and how long before they have PayPal Donate button so as to stay afloat like the equally cringy Guardian.

moycullen14 · 05-11-2019 10:40AM

It certainly isn't the best written article but ....

As someone who has been through it, I wouldn't underestimate the difficulty that returning immigrants have - especially if you feel like you have been 'forced' to return. Life has moved on here, you have moved on - it can be very difficult to readjust. There's a reason for the saying 'Never go back'

One thing that I really didn't appreciate - and this thread bears it out - is how sensitive and aggressive people can be to any suggestion that things are somehow better abroad. There is a feeling that you should be grateful to be back and no criticism - however mild - will be tolerated.

I remember getting into a wild argument about how ridiculous it was to have a special motor tax office for car tax. Remember the hour+ long queues at the start of each month, pre internet? Suggesting that the UK system where you could tax your car in any post office was better, brought a torrent of abuse - 'Well, why don't you f**k off back to England, so?' You quickly learn to just avoid these topics.

She has my sympathy, anyway. The best cure is to accept that Dublin/Cork/Belfast is never going to be like London/New York and to realise that home has lots of advantages - learn to appreciate them and not be constantly comparing and contrasting. You're back - make the most of it.

Whingy Returning Emigrants

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