Anyone else fed up of dating apps?

PoisonIvyBelle · 02-10-2019 08:27PM

Earthhorse wrote: »

SGM hasn’t taken offense to anything. You’re misreading his posts if you think that.

Yet he is the one banned from the thread.

That's your opinion and you're entitled to it.
I've given mine.

Now I'm off to make some food before my stomach rumbles so much the fcuking roof caves in before this hurricane even hits.

Earthhorse · 02-10-2019 08:29PM

PoisonIvyBelle wrote: »

That's your opinion and you're entitled to it.
I've given mine.

Yes, that’s how it works alright.

S.G.M. · 02-10-2019 11:14PM

PoisonIvyBelle wrote: »

C'mon now, take it handy. His comments were never an attack on you personally but you have taken them very personally. Why?

You got enraged by a lad saying he believes he's attractive and witty. Do you not want to take a minute to think about why that upset you so much? A stranger, on the internet, is confident about his looks and personality, and it offends you to the point of escalating an argument.

Take just one minute, that's all. Look back at your posts. Look at his. And think about it. That's the kind of self reflection that will lead to the kind of self awareness that will help you to work on yourself and your own confidence so that you're not bothered by things like this.

Re: what you said earlier about messaging a girl a few times if she hasn't replied in case it hadn't "landed". I block those guys. Because I know they know I've read their message. And when I get 2 more in a row I just think "does this guy not have any respect for himself"? You can be sure if I messaged a guy and he didn't reply I wouldn't be chasing him with 2/3 more messages over the next month "in case" he didn't get it.

You have two options now:
get annoyed at me too and try to start another argument in the thread

think about why you reacted how you did and what it means.

I'm not replying to this again cos I've said all I wanted to say with regards that poster I was replying to.
Also, I do have respect for myself but as I said, women have genuinely messaged me back after a second message and apologised saying they missed my first message and we got chatting from that. So if that's been the case a few times, why not do it if I find a girl attractive. If she wants to block me, then let her block me. I hold absolutely nothing against her.
Nothing to do with self respect. I don't base my own self worth on what others think about me so I have no problem taking that kind of risk.

S.G.M. · 02-10-2019 11:17PM

Earthhorse wrote: »

SGM hasn’t taken offense to anything. You’re misreading his posts if you think that.

Yet he is the one banned from the thread.

Thank you Earthhorse. I have nothing against that original poster. I took up his initial comment in a certain way and I made it known. He disagrees. Fair enough. I thought it was left at that.

Honeydew3456 · 03-10-2019 07:55AM

Nothing more attractive than a confident but HUMBLE man....I think that was the key ingredient he was missing...

I think it's a little cringe to actually describe yourself as handsome and witty. Whethere you are or not is irrelevant and doing so has nothing to do with confidence.

Then to try make out everyone else was just jealous because of their own insecurities about themselves and his awesomeness.....smh and rolls my eyes.

Dial Hard · 03-10-2019 10:18AM

Honeydew3456 wrote: »

Nothing more attractive than a confident but HUMBLE man....

To you. Plenty of others find humility a turn-off.

Personally I find a *touch* of arrogance incredibly attractive, as long as it's warranted.

Anyway, in my experience you get out of online dating pretty much exactly what you put in. If that's negativity, bitterness and low expectations, then nobody should be surprised when it doesn't work out for them.

Antares35 · 03-10-2019 10:27AM

RacoonQueen wrote: »

As would I, personally wouldn't be up to dating someone I work with but it's a way to meet people. If you meet someone in real life and you are interested in them then you decide what you do about it. My whole post was about meeting someone through another aspect and realising you are interested in them rather than going searching for someone.

As above.

If you are trying to 'find' someone to date is a bizarre concept to me. I don't understand it, the obsession some people have with always being with someone or always having dates lined up is vomit inducing to me. Rather not be dating anyone than date someone just for the sake of it.
I've never been one to seek out a date or do or go to something in the hope I meet someone, things always just happen...online and bars and clubs(with the specific intent of 'pulling') would never work for me. That's just me, everyone is different in their approach.

Agree. I'd rather be alone that be with the wrong guy. When I joined the dating website it was very shortly after the breakup of a relationship. I didn't want to jump from the frying pan into the fire, but a close friend suggested getting dressed up and going on a fun date might take my mind off things. I certainly wasn't planning or trying to find my other half, but I did!

SusieBlue · 03-10-2019 10:43AM

Being open to meeting someone with a view of potentially starting a relationship does not mean you're willing to shack up with the first person who gives you a bit of attention

I would also rather be alone than be with the wrong guy, but I would like to be in a relationship again so I am putting myself in more situations where I can meet new people and widen my circle, as well as online dating and trying to meet new people that way. When men try to chat me up on a night out I'm far more open to it and willing to engage than I was when I wasn't looking to meet someone.

Actively trying to meet someone does not mean you are desperate and "dating just for the sake of it", because you're afraid of being alone. Its taking ownership for your own life and being responsible for your own happiness.

Sitting back and just waiting for the perfect person to stumble into your life in a coffee shop or with your eyes meeting across a bar is like something out of a movie, and for the most part, completely unrealistic.
These notions are why a lot of people end up alone and disappointed, because they're literally waiting for a miracle to happen. It won't happen without an open mind and a bit of effort.

Antares35 · 03-10-2019 12:13PM

SusieBlue wrote: »

Being open to meeting someone with a view of potentially starting a relationship does not mean you're willing to shack up with the first person who gives you a bit of attention

I would also rather be alone than be with the wrong guy, but I would like to be in a relationship again so I am putting myself in more situations where I can meet new people and widen my circle, as well as online dating and trying to meet new people that way. When men try to chat me up on a night out I'm far more open to it and willing to engage than I was when I wasn't looking to meet someone.

Actively trying to meet someone does not mean you are desperate and "dating just for the sake of it", because you're afraid of being alone. Its taking ownership for your own life and being responsible for your own happiness.

Sitting back and just waiting for the perfect person to stumble into your life in a coffee shop or with your eyes meeting across a bar is like something out of a movie, and for the most part, completely unrealistic.
These notions are why a lot of people end up alone and disappointed, because they're literally waiting for a miracle to happen. It won't happen without an open mind and a bit of effort.

Completely agree! I have a close male friend who is in his late thirties. Been lonely for several years now, and often complains that he "can't meet a girl". Several of us have tried to convince him to set up a dating profile but he won't have any of it. He thinks it is beneath him or something. Yet he still complains about being single. It's like he is just waiting for a girl to fall into his path and for true love to ensue.

Sottol · 03-10-2019 02:11PM

SusieBlue wrote: »

Being open to meeting someone with a view of potentially starting a relationship does not mean you're willing to shack up with the first person who gives you a bit of attention

I would also rather be alone than be with the wrong guy, but I would like to be in a relationship again so I am putting myself in more situations where I can meet new people and widen my circle, as well as online dating and trying to meet new people that way. When men try to chat me up on a night out I'm far more open to it and willing to engage than I was when I wasn't looking to meet someone.

Actively trying to meet someone does not mean you are desperate and "dating just for the sake of it", because you're afraid of being alone. Its taking ownership for your own life and being responsible for your own happiness.

Sitting back and just waiting for the perfect person to stumble into your life in a coffee shop or with your eyes meeting across a bar is like something out of a movie, and for the most part, completely unrealistic.
These notions are why a lot of people end up alone and disappointed, because they're literally waiting for a miracle to happen. It won't happen without an open mind and a bit of effort.

Amen!!!

Annurca Apples · 03-10-2019 02:30PM

The real world is much easier and more fun to meet romantic partners. Also I find I have much less competition as most men are terrified of saying hello to a woman in the daytime. They don't have any confidence to do that, which is great for the few men like me who aren't phased.

MetzgerMeister · 03-10-2019 02:34PM

The likes of Tinder can be a right PITA. Once you've swiped through people nearby you have to increase the distance. There's no guarantee that the people on whom you're now swiping have their distance set to the same thing so you're just swiping for the sake of it with no hope of getting a match but do you think Tinder care? Not as long as you keep swiping and using their app (especially if you've a subscription!).

Greyfox · 03-10-2019 04:11PM

MetzgerMeister wrote: »

Not as long as you keep swiping and using their app (especially if you've a subscription!).

Been honest I think the subscription is only for eejits.

Scarinae · 03-10-2019 05:41PM

SusieBlue wrote: »

Being open to meeting someone with a view of potentially starting a relationship does not mean you're willing to shack up with the first person who gives you a bit of attention

I would also rather be alone than be with the wrong guy, but I would like to be in a relationship again so I am putting myself in more situations where I can meet new people and widen my circle, as well as online dating and trying to meet new people that way. When men try to chat me up on a night out I'm far more open to it and willing to engage than I was when I wasn't looking to meet someone.

Actively trying to meet someone does not mean you are desperate and "dating just for the sake of it", because you're afraid of being alone. Its taking ownership for your own life and being responsible for your own happiness.

Sitting back and just waiting for the perfect person to stumble into your life in a coffee shop or with your eyes meeting across a bar is like something out of a movie, and for the most part, completely unrealistic.
These notions are why a lot of people end up alone and disappointed, because they're literally waiting for a miracle to happen. It won't happen without an open mind and a bit of effort.

I don't understand this idea either of trying to meet someone making you 'desperate'. I see online dating or dating apps as a way to widen your circle and meet more people; when I was younger I used to meet people through friends or in college, but as I got older I didn't meet as many new people organically so it made sense to try online dating.

I'm marrying someone I met on Tinder, I doubt our paths would ever have crossed without the app.

Church on Tuesday · 03-10-2019 05:54PM

MetzgerMeister wrote: »

The likes of Tinder can be a right PITA. Once you've swiped through people nearby you have to increase the distance. There's no guarantee that the people on whom you're now swiping have their distance set to the same thing so you're just swiping for the sake of it with no hope of getting a match but do you think Tinder care? Not as long as you keep swiping and using their app (especially if you've a subscription!).

Don't you have to pay to use Tinder properly now? I have a few matches I can't see because I'm not on Gold or some ****e.

I'm not paying for Tinder.

Homelander · 03-10-2019 05:57PM

You can pay to see who likes you, but you can still see who you actually matched with. So people who you didn't swipe on, people that swiped on you outside your distance filters, or whatever. You don't have to pay to match with people, so it still works fine really.

Church on Tuesday · 03-10-2019 05:59PM

Homelander wrote: »

You can pay to see who likes you, but you can still see who you actually matched with. So people who you didn't swipe on, people that swiped on you outside your distance filters, or whatever. You don't have to pay to match with people, so it still works fine really.

But it's not very instant like before though, I mean you could be swiping for quite some time before you match with the actual person who swiped right on you.

Greyfox · 03-10-2019 06:11PM

Church on Tuesday wrote: »

Don't you have to pay to use Tinder properly now?.

You don't, all the features you can pay for are rubbish

S.G.M. · 03-10-2019 06:21PM

Scarinae wrote: »

I don't understand this idea either of trying to meet someone making you 'desperate'. I see online dating or dating apps as a way to widen your circle and meet more people; when I was younger I used to meet people through friends or in college, but as I got older I didn't meet as many new people organically so it made sense to try online dating.

I'm marrying someone I met on Tinder, I doubt our paths would ever have crossed without the app.

I agree. However, I hear a lot of people saying that 'the right person will find you when ya stop looking'. It's usually people in relationships that say this.

Church on Tuesday · 03-10-2019 07:35PM

S.G.M. wrote: »

I agree. However, I hear a lot of people saying that 'the right person will find you when ya stop looking'. It's usually people in relationships that say this.

It will nearly always happen when you least expect it.

Mister Vain · 03-10-2019 07:45PM

S.G.M. wrote: »

I agree. However, I hear a lot of people saying that 'the right person will find you when ya stop looking'. It's usually people in relationships that say this.

To quote another poster from a different thread, "My own experience has been that meeting someone is not a good target in life or a good path to try and follow - rather it is something that happens along the way when walking other paths." I would agree with this. I think you should be able to put yourself out there and do things you're interested in without actually pursuing a partner. I know it won't always work but at least you'll be doing something you enjoy.

bitofabind · 03-10-2019 07:45PM

S.G.M. wrote: »

I agree. However, I hear a lot of people saying that 'the right person will find you when ya stop looking'. It's usually people in relationships that say this.

Yup, along with “what’s for you won’t pass you.” About as useful as a smack on the arse with a wet fish.

In practical terms, I’d say having low expectations and living a full life that’s not dependent on finding a partner to be happy does help though. It’s like there’s no smell of want off you or something.

Ficheall · 03-10-2019 07:46PM

Church on Tuesday wrote: »

It will nearly always happen when you least expect it.

Yep. People are always finding the love of their life when they're stuck on the loo with a dose of the scutters, naming their haemorrhoids for entertainment because they forgot their phone.

Church on Tuesday · 03-10-2019 09:03PM

Ficheall wrote: »

Yep. People are always finding the love of their life when they're stuck on the loo with a dose of the scutters, naming their haemorrhoids for entertainment because they forgot their phone.

If you find her in there with ya and she stays through all of that, then she's a keeper lad.

Enough is Enough! · 03-10-2019 09:05PM

Dating apps? Just move to Thailand and buy a wife.

Iseedeadpixels · 04-10-2019 08:38AM

Enough is Enough! wrote: »

Dating apps? Just move to Thailand and buy a wife.

I'd still get turned down :pac:

MetzgerMeister · 04-10-2019 09:58AM

Church on Tuesday wrote: »

Don't you have to pay to use Tinder properly now? I have a few matches I can't see because I'm not on Gold or some ****e.

I'm not paying for Tinder.

Yeah, there are very few features now on the free one. €44.00 for a half-hour boost? Come off it!

Tinder makes sense in a way given how much time people spend on their phones vs going out and being in the situation where you can meet someone.

04-10-2019 11:40AM

Quick tip for saving money on tinder and other Google Play store apps get a VPN and change your play store location to Turkey it's way cheaper.

Bobblehats · 04-10-2019 11:45AM

I dated an app once, but it kept asking me my details and needed constant updating

Ficheall · 06-10-2019 03:29PM

Ficheall wrote: »

I just ask out everyone who thanks my posts on boards and seems female and intelligent.

Okay, Bewley's at 7pm next Sunday (13th). I'll buy you a coffee.

Anyone else fed up of dating apps?

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