Anyone else fed up of dating apps?

Its very difficult to find someone who shares your vision of the future on there.

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

I presume it isn’t in the interest of these dating sites to have people find a partner. Losing paying customers isn’t good for business.

Bring back the slow set and shifting on the dance floor.

pretty much....

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

I presume it isn’t in the interest of these dating sites to have people find a partner. Losing paying customers isn’t good for business.

Bring back the slow set and shifting on the dance floor.

“will you shift my friend. he really likes you”

the good auld days

Sick of online dating myself, been on and off POF for years, am on Bumble as well, was on Tinder but found it the most boring of all.

All of my dates (5 in all, 2 with the same person) were got from POF, one girl she was nice but had a bit of baggage, and I think both of us thought it wouldn't go beyond the first date and contact with her fizzled out, another girl went on one date and she claimed to want to go out again but it was impossible to get a meet up with her, then last year I went on two dates with one girl who I thought was lovely, she friendzoned me after the second date, which I thought was a bit unfair, didn't really keep in touch with her.

Then in June I had this amazing date, talked to her on POF also, what led up to it was a said I was attending the Fleetwood Mac concert with a mate and she was a big fan of Fleetwood Mac but she couldn't go because of work, I said "oh Ill record your fave song at the front of the audience since I got a Gold circle ticket" her fave song was "Rhiannon"

At the gig my phone had a weird meltdown and switched off and couldn't get it to come back on, my mate knew I was in the process of chatting this one up, and saw my phone was f**ked and lent me his phone to get a snippet of the song, got the whole track on camera, sounded great, sent it to her the next day, she was delighted and couldn't believe I did that for her. Anyway, I got back home and was just chilling out after the journey home, she texts me saying she was off out with a friend, sent me a selfie asking she she look nice, the picture was gorgeous and I said she she looked fab and to have a nice time out.

An hour went by and I get another text saying her friend couldn't make it at the last minute, and asked was I around for the evening, I hadn't planned on it, and I spent enough cash the night before at the gig, but I said "f**k it, not often I land this kind of encounter" so I washed real quick, brushed my teeth, put on my best shirt and made my way down to the bar, which is both one of our local spots. Met her near the bar, she looked great, and we had a great night, just having a laugh and a few friends of mine came over and we had the banter and they went off to other bars.

Next thing she jumps on me in the beer garden, kissing, groping etc. Not something that happens on a first date for me anyway, I've always had to work for it, so it had been nearly 3 years since...eh...well...you know! Wasn't thinking of it as a possible one night stand, I was just enjoying the moment and the date in general, wasn't out looking for it either, kind of just happened. Next thing we're back in her house, where she stated she doesn't sleep around, I believed her, so the obvious happened, all f**king night. Easily the best date and sex I had in 5 years and she was up for it again the next morning, even some cuddling after, was the first time in years I felt good about myself after many a rejection.

After that, we went out and I bought us breakfast some where nice and we chatted away, then went to Dunnes and helped her pick out a Father's day present, she bought a big heavy ceramic pot and I carried it back to her car which was 15 mins away near her house, she then gave me a lift home before she had to return to her parents for the weekend, got a kiss goodbye. It was nice.

Spent the weekend on a bit of a high, thinking I might have something going here, felt sure of it. Monday comes, I get ready for work, half an hour before I'm due in, a text rolls in from her, reading "hey I had a lot of fun with you the other night, but I'm not looking for anything serious right now can we be friends"

It was a total sickener, tried to convince her and talk her around but she wouldn't go for it, was just a slap in the face for me. Tried to not be the bollocks and tried to do the friends thing. Stayed in contact, didn't hound her with texts, she then gave me some spiel about needing to do an exam in order to obtain a promotion in work, and needed to focus on that until early September and she wasn't looking for a relationship, she took the same exam in June but didn't pass it, she mentioned it on our date and I said she'd be grand and she'll pass it the next time, and not to worry about it etc.

Didn't think about her for a while, but September came, and I was wondering could I win her over when she passed the exam, thought about sending her flowers if she passed her exam, so well into September I text and said "hey, how goes the study?" and she said she hasn't studied yet, and that was on holiday out in Ibiza and when she gets back she has two other trips to plan both Octoberfest and a trip to Japan, I said "oh well, ok, enjoy your holiday, have fun"

So, got on with life, about a fortnight later, I became an uncle for the second time, took a snap of my new niece, sent it to her, and she outright blocks me on whatsapp. The next day I text her asking what was her problem, she claimed she wanted to stay in touch, thought she'd have liked the snap, just blocked out of f**king nowhere after a friendly text, and I then text her said "No idea what I did to deserve to be blocked, just text you with some news and to see how you were. No reply for a few hours.

I was stewing after not getting a text back, and I fired one more saying "and to think, I was actually going to send you flowers when you passed your exam, thanks, thanks for making me feel like s**t, sorry I bothered, have a nice life"

Finally I get a text back saying saying I'm being unfair since we only had one date and she said she didn't want anything serious, and she was sorry that I feel bad, and that I'm a lovely guy and should put my energy into someone else, that we're too different and that she'd like to have a drink with me and chat, not all this negativity.

She f**king blocked me like! She didn't really know my exact feelings and what I was thinking of doing before she blocked me, which to me says she didn't even want to be friends at all.

I being tick at the time, text back "Unfair, you blocked me when all I did was send a friendly message, and also, too different? but good enough to bring home and discard a few days after, you can just f**k off now"

Probably nasty to send that, but I was really angry at being blocked like that, after I send a generally sweet kind of photo, you know? Thinking she'd be happy for me or whatever. I'm just generally sick of being the nice guy that never gets a look in or a chance like. I'm sure there are plenty of blokes that feel the same way.

Like this one is in her early 30's, she more interested in the career and galivanting around the globe than putting any effort into daily life at home, whats with all this waiting around? Who is she and women in general waiting around for? And choosing to rot on these apps for years on end. Like I'm no oil painting, I'm a pretty average guy, a lot of Irish men are f**king average, but come on, if you're in your 30's you should be thinking a bit more long term about your dating life and making more of an effort in person and on these dating apps, I mean in my area, I live in the south east, I use POF most of the time, and it's the same f**king handful of women aged between 26-35, that would be the age bracket I'd message I suppose, close to my age. And none of them would say as much as boo to you.

Honestly think Irish women are the pickiest women on Earth, and are only on these apps to be plamased more so than dating anyone! Probably a very long rant for this thread, but sure if people don't like what I said, whatever, my opinion.

JustJoe7240 wrote: »

Couldn't really blame her in fairness mate! You came on a bit strong for her and then you lost the rag when she wanted to cut contact?

I gave her some space, as I said, didn't hound her with texts.

JustJoe7240 wrote: »

You guys might have a different perception of space! Fair enough blocking you for sending a picture is a bit much too, But switching to another form of media to contact her against her wishes is a little strong!

But whatever's meant for you won't pass you and all that!

I merely wanted an explanation, I hadn't done anything to her, she was the one who wanted to keep in touch and I confronted her, I was being treated unfairly and I wasn't going to let it go that easy.

I was being the nice guy at the end of it, she instigated my reaction.

And I hate that saying "whatever's meant for you won't pass you" ugh...

I have relatives still single in their 50s and 60's, the thought of that for me makes me want to puke really.

You have no right to make that assumption, you know nothing about me.

zcorpian88 wrote: »

I merely wanted an explanation, I hadn't done anything to her, she was the one who wanted to keep in touch and I confronted her, I was being treated unfairly and I wasn't going to let it go that easy.

I was with you up till the final third of your story. I get that it can be rare to have these great nights with people and so it's very hard to let it go but unfortunately that's what you needed to do. We've all been there, I'd say.

When she said she wanted to be friends unless ye had friends in common what she really meant is that she wanted to leave it there. You were harbouring hope because social media allows us to maintain contact with people we're really not in contact with at all (again, I get it, we all do it).

But I think lashing out at her puts you in the wrong, even if I understand how it came to be. And though again I understand your general frustration with women they're free to do what they want, even if you think it's a waste of time; indeed, even if it is a waste of time.

Mister Vain wrote: »

I'm not sure. I mean I sometimes match with a girl who looks great in the first few photos but then looks dreadful in the rest so I can't make my mind up. Or sometimes I match with a girl who could be attractive but they have silly filters with dogs ears and glasses. Theses wouldn't be young girls either.

I wouldn't give someone who uses Snapchat filters on a dating site the time of day.

A friend of mine went on a date with a girl he was chatting to off Tinder. She looked completely different in real life - she must have used filters for her face and her figure.
He cut that date short.

Anyone using filters is only codding themselves.

I met my other half on a dating website. I was just over a breakup and wanted to date to take my mind off things. Went on three dates with one guy. He was really nice but we just didn't have a spark. Went on a date with my OH and we both knew pretty much straight away we were a good match and wanted to keep seeing each other. We are expecting our first child together.

I don't think I was up my own backside or anything like that, and it's everyone's prerogative (men and women) to say something is just not working out for them. Sometimes there is just no spark. It doesn't mean people are bad.

I only remember one guy being weird, and we hadn't even dated, just messaged. I had to cancel a coffee to bring my parents to the airport last minute, and he didn't like that. Started texting incessantly, then facebook prowled a bit. A few weeks later he saw a picture of me with my OH on facebook and sent me a message saying that "they are all the same" and that I'd "be sorry". Aside from that, everyone seemed normal and genuine.

If I found out my brother sent a picture of his nephew to a girl he once banged in a hope to get back into her knickers I would absolutely belt him with the back of a shoe. I think what others have said is right. She was just being polite by saying she still wanted to be friends, she should have cut contact immediately.

bitofabind wrote: »

Zcorpian your post reads like a textbook “what not to do” when dating and trying to attract women. I think this woman was overly polite and her biggest mistake was not cutting contact and instead feeding you the “busy but let’s be friends” cliche that we all drum up when we’re not interested in someone. I suppose she thought you’d get the hint but you went Helen in a hand basket nutso instead.

Find a counsellor and work on your self esteem. Hit the gym and blow off your steam there. Otherwise you’ll be back posting about this wan you shagged ages ago in a years time when she’s long since moved on with her life and forgotten you entirely.

Solid advice, hopefully the OP follows it.