Do you ever go for massages?

Lillyfae · 29-08-2019 09:34AM

Kole Nutty Track wrote: »

Okay, so - where exactly did they exactly massage?

And your contention was, they were oblivious to doing it?

We must not leave anything to the imagination in these critical circumstances.

Let's say the upper thigh region generally- I really believe they were oblivious. No such thing as 30 minutes or 60 minutes either, it took as long as it took.

Actually completely forgot the pregnancy massage I got locally when I was 8+ months, that was fantastic. Totally restored my condition. Took me half an hour to walk there and less than 10 minutes to walk home :eek:.

seamus · 29-08-2019 09:39AM

Not that into them tbh. Done them a couple of times when away with the missus. Enjoyable experience I suppose, but I've never felt like "Oh man, I could use a massage". They just don't do much for me, I don't feel very different afterwards.

But then I'm not a tense person, so maybe it's that.

I think I'd enjoy a sports massage after a hard session or race, but I haven't got time for that.

Mangofrozo · 29-08-2019 09:47AM

The best massages I've ever gotten have all been at places that offer erotic services. Even if you're not interested in anything erotic the messages in some in some of these places are far superior to massages at beauty salons or spas, and much cheaper too.

bo0li5eumx12kp · 29-08-2019 10:26AM

Lillyfae wrote: »

Let's say the upper thigh region generally- I really believe they were oblivious. No such thing as 30 minutes or 60 minutes either, it took as long as it took.

Actually completely forgot the pregnancy massage I got locally when I was 8+ months, that was fantastic. Totally restored my condition. Took me half an hour to walk there and less than 10 minutes to walk home :eek:.

Can you outline what the pregnancy massage comprised of?
Lower back, massage only etc?

Was it with a physio, chiro, or regular massage therapist?

bo0li5eumx12kp · 29-08-2019 10:29AM

Cyclepath wrote: »

I'm a massage regular. Can't beat a good (professional) massage. It's hard to find a good place but when you do you stick with it!

In my experience there are four types of places in Dublin:
Commercial outfits that will iron out the tension and knots in muscles in a professional non-sexual manner

Beauty outfits that will only reluctantly accept male clients and pretty much just gently oil you and provide a relaxing non sexual experience

Thai Massage outfits that provide a pretty good massage and also offer the extra option of a 'happy ending'. Note that you don't have to accept the offer and they seem unconcerned either way!

Dodgy outfits that use massage as a front to offer sexual services

You can usually tell which is which if you have any common sense or awareness. Feel free to DM me for recommendations for category 1 and the others to avoid :eek:

Are we not allow mention place names in AH??

If not then, yeah - plz DM me the relevant locations;
Cheers!

PS - I may investigate "the others" also, for informational purposes.

PPS - I do agree on the, "when you find someone good, stick with them" point.
After combing through every massage parlor in a city (not Dublin), I found the best massage therapist for the best price, and went to her every week for 4 years.

She didn't speak any English, so we communicated through hand gestures and grunts.

Damn that woman knew how to work you out.
Some mobilizations, soft tissue work, myofascial work - it was like it was intuitive to her; she was "in the zone".

And she was, a WAGON!!
Regularly yelled at other patrons walking in asking for "erotic" services.
And I mean, yelled at them - angry woman alert.

Don't know if she was getting laid herself but, all that was secondary.

Damn I miss that cantankerous old battle axe.

endacl · 29-08-2019 10:33AM

Princess Consuela Bananahammock wrote: »

One studies and earns a qualification in holistic massage.

Massaging holes?

cruizer101 · 29-08-2019 10:33AM

Irish Guitarist wrote: »

No. I'd be afraid I'd get an erection if it was a woman masseuse. I don't want a man touching me.

I'd be more worried about getting an erection and it being a male masseuse, very awkward.

suicide_circus · 29-08-2019 10:38AM

nope because i struggle to seperate getting naked and being rubbed from sex.

bo0li5eumx12kp · 29-08-2019 10:39AM

Mangofrozo wrote: »

The best massages I've ever gotten have all been at places that offer erotic services. Even if you're not interested in anything erotic the messages in some in some of these places are far superior to massages at beauty salons or spas, and much cheaper too.

In my experience, the opposite has been true.

I've never been to beauty parlor joints but, happy ending parlors are more interested in the ending, not doing real work.

Now, I've been to legit places that suck also, and occasionally a happy-parlor that can deliver a solid massage session, but the more legit the parlor, the more qualified the therapist - the better the massage (and unfortunately, typically - the more expensive it is).

Chinese masseuses, cause they have a culture of it, seem to be better clued in than others also.

jester77 · 29-08-2019 10:39AM

I don't go that regularly but the ones I've enjoyed most are the head massages (the non-sexual head). Very energising.

bo0li5eumx12kp · 29-08-2019 10:40AM

suicide_circus wrote: »

nope because i struggle to seperate getting naked and being rubbed from sex.

lol - you and me both pal.

That's what makes it so....... exhilarating!

So I always ask for the best looking massage therapist in the place, and hope that she struggles to make that separation also.

Deebles McBeebles · 29-08-2019 10:42AM

Kole Nutty Track wrote: »

In my experience, the opposite has been true.

I've never been to beauty parlor joints but, happy ending parlors are more interested in the ending, not doing real work.

Question, is it just a perfunctory bashing of the bishop in these places or will baps be in play? Asking for a friend who looks like me.

Flibble · 29-08-2019 10:45AM

Every week since feb 2018. Well... Combined with other therapies depending on what the therapist wants to do. It's called Tuina, a nice firm painful physical therapy massage that's usually done fully clothed under a sheet- can't be dealing with a schlippy oily tickle.

bo0li5eumx12kp · 29-08-2019 10:48AM

Deebles McBeebles wrote: »

Question, is it just a perfunctory bashing of the bishop in these places or will baps be in play? Asking for a friend who looks like me.

Not sure.

If that's your scene, someone at some point in time DM'd me this link.

dinorebel · 29-08-2019 10:49AM

Kole Nutty Track wrote: »

In my experience, the opposite has been true.

I've never been to beauty parlor joints but, happy ending parlors are more interested in the ending, not doing real work.

Now, I've been to legit places that suck also, .

Address please;)

Lillyfae · 29-08-2019 11:20AM

Kole Nutty Track wrote: »

Can you outline what the pregnancy massage comprised of?
Lower back, massage only etc?

Was it with a physio, chiro, or regular massage therapist?

Seeing as most of you seem to be unable to separate nudity from eroticism I will politely decline.

LirW · 29-08-2019 11:35AM

My uncle is a a trained physio and sport massage therapist and he'd hand out massages and other minor treatments like candy in the family. He kept my sister sane during her pregnancy, she is very petite and had a huge baby so he taped her back every 2 weeks.

Anyway, while it's nice, I'm not mad into the whole relaxation massage thing. I'm perfectly fine with not having them and usually they're a spa day novelty for me.
I'm not 100% comfortable with a stranger touching my naked back.

Mangofrozo · 29-08-2019 11:42AM

LirW wrote: »

My uncle is a a trained physio and sport massage therapist and he'd hand out massages and other minor treatments like candy in the family. He kept my sister sane during her pregnancy, she is very petite and had a huge baby so he taped her back every 2 weeks.

Anyway, while it's nice, I'm not mad into the whole relaxation massage thing. I'm perfectly fine with not having them and usually they're a spa day novelty for me.
I'm not 100% comfortable with a stranger touching my naked back.

Nobody is comfortable the first couple times, then you do it and it's nothing.

xzanti · 29-08-2019 11:42AM

I get acne breakouts on my back and the thought of a stranger rubbing oil into it makes my skin crawl.

So no.

Probably wouldn't want one even if I didn't have the breakouts tbh. Not my bag.

suicide_circus · 29-08-2019 03:39PM

xzanti wrote: »

Not my bag.

if your bag is getting massaged thats a totally different ball game

bo0li5eumx12kp · 29-08-2019 07:11PM

Lillyfae wrote: »

Seeing as most of you seem to be unable to separate nudity from eroticism I will politely decline.

Don't worry, I actually practice in this area (MSK not massage).

I like to stay informed on all aspects of it is all.

Pregnancy massage is something I think could be beneficial/useful to others, and a potentially solid customer base.

No pressure - but if you could talk around the topic, as to what you found so useful from it - I'm all ears.

bo0li5eumx12kp · 29-08-2019 07:48PM

The chan chan man wrote: »

When i first started going they used to ask me if i wanted a happy ending.. Now they ask me if I even want the massage...

Oh yeah?

And where might this be?

29-08-2019 08:07PM

Kole Nutty Track wrote: »

Oh yeah?

And where might this be?

Alright, Sergeant ... move along now :P

bo0li5eumx12kp · 29-08-2019 09:30PM

Deleted User wrote: »

Alright, Sergeant ... move along now :P

lol - you really think cops are concerned with massage parlors?

They're low profile, people go in stressed, come out chilled.

From a state police point of view that's like - win win.
An individual is less likely to go on a homicidal rampage after a shiatsu - don't you know?

Not to mention - you think those dudes don't appreciate the occasional "rub down" themselves?
Cause hey - we are man.

pinkyeye · 29-08-2019 09:49PM

Anyone ever experienced Turkish baths?

I'm reluctant to share my story of this until someone else does.

:D

ILoveYourVibes · 29-08-2019 09:59PM

pinkyeye wrote: »

Anyone ever experienced Turkish baths?

I'm reluctant to share my story of this until someone else does. :D

My mom and i went together once.

She is really into that stuff.

We went once in Turkey and once in Portugal. They have them in different places in Europe.

Pinch Flat · 29-08-2019 10:00PM

Only for the happy ending

BuboBubo · 29-08-2019 10:04PM

Went to a sports massage therapist who proceeded to beat the living sh1te out of me to alleviate leg pain. He pulled, turned, pummeled, clicked and kneaded me, then stuck on a vacuum cleaner device which covered me in lovebites.

Second appointment a week later, same again but didn't seem as painful. It actually works! My leg pain improved massively. I still do the stretching exercises he recommend to me.

I actually thought it was going to be a nice relaxing evening where I would probably fall asleep on the bench!

Boy was I wrong!

knockers84 · 29-08-2019 10:13PM

So do you get onto the table in your jocks, with a towel over your arse or fully naked? I take it they massage your arse as well?

I’d be afraid she,d finish the massage and the one eyed snake would be pointing towards the ceiling

bo0li5eumx12kp · 29-08-2019 10:19PM

knockers84 wrote: »

So do you get onto the table in your jocks, with a towel over your arse or fully naked? I take it they massage your arse as well?

I’d be afraid she,d finish the massage and the one eyed snake would be pointing towards the ceiling

Depends.

Very first time I went for a massage, 30 minutes, they told me it was shoulders and back, so I left my jeans on - belt buckled.

lol - what did I know.

Masseuse kept trying to pull my jeans down and I was thinking, "what exactly is going on here?".

Since then I typically leave my shorts on, out of courtesy to the masseuse.

PS - every masseuse knows every dude on their table gets horny.
That's part of the job description.
Rubbing oil on someones body is sexual, plain and simply (certainly when it's a woman to a man at least).

I've had men give me massages - they were great, probably better than most women to be honest.
And it wasn't sexual at all.

So, man and woman - sexual; getting a rod is no shame, pretty much expected.
Man with man - not sexual. I could see how getting a rod may be embarrassing.

Do you ever go for massages?

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