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When to move baby to their own room?

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  • #62
    awec
    Administrators Posts: 55,101 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭awec


    fits wrote: »
    Im not sure how you keep coming to that conclusion. It suits some and not others.

    And yes, you are a man, so you can not understand the breastfeeding mother-infant dyad in the same way as someone who has actually breastfed.

    How is this relevant?

    While I know they recommend breast feeding for as long as possible, I do wonder how many people actually breastfeed their 2 year olds, and of those that do, I wonder how many do it without expressing.

    Not many, I bet.


  • #63
    fits
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,060 ✭✭✭✭fits


    awec wrote: »
    How is this relevant?

    While I know they recommend breast feeding for as long as possible, I do wonder how many people actually breastfeed their 2 year olds, and of those that do, I wonder how many do it without expressing.

    Not many, I bet.

    Why on earth would anyone bother expressing for a 2 year old. :D

    I still breastfeed my two. Twin 1 just at bedtime and when he wakes up (and we might miss one or the other - he's winding down.

    Twin 2 at bedtime and when he stirs in the middle of the night.

    I returned to work 3 days a week when they were 13 months old and have never expressed since they were tiny infants only briefly to relieve pressure when I started back at work. I work full time now.


  • #64
    bee06
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,514 ✭✭✭bee06


    awec wrote: »
    How is this relevant?

    While I know they recommend breast feeding for as long as possible, I do wonder how many people actually breastfeed their 2 year olds, and of those that do, I wonder how many do it without expressing.

    Not many, I bet.

    Still breastfeeding my 19 month old here. No expressing because why would I need to?


  • #65
    awec
    Administrators Posts: 55,101 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭awec


    Cakerbaker wrote: »
    You do know it’s possible to still be breast feeding a 2 year old too ....

    How many times does your 2 year old wake up during the night for a feed?


  • #66
    Cakerbaker
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 850 ✭✭✭Cakerbaker


    awec wrote: »
    How many times does your 2 year old wake up during the night for a feed?

    I didn’t make it to 2 years with my first. Was just pointing out that it is possible as you had assumed references to breastfeeding were references to babies.


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  • #67
    awec
    Administrators Posts: 55,101 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭awec


    Cakerbaker wrote: »
    I didn’t make it to 2 years with my first. Was just pointing out that it is possible as you had assumed references to breastfeeding were references to babies.

    I was more making the point that the night time regime is very different between babies and toddlers, and this is one of the big reasons for keeping them in your room for 6-12 months.

    Babies wake up a lot and they stay awake for a long time, constantly wanting fed. Toddlers don't really do this.

    Which is really why I'm questioning the "it's easier to breastfeed" reason for sleeping with a toddler.

    But I think this discussion is going nowhere other than round in circles, so to go back to the OP, moving them out between 6-8 months is what most do, but as you can see from this thread others go earlier and some much later.


  • #68
    lazygal
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,644 ✭✭✭✭lazygal


    Breastfed till 4.5 years. He was in his own room from six months but it was more hassle getting up at night. He stopped feeding at night completely by about 11 months. Never bothered expressing.


  • #69
    Sheepdish1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 621 ✭✭✭Sheepdish1


    iamwhoiam wrote: »
    Sheepdish1 wrote: »
    There is benefit depending on what works for a family. I find there are more pros than cons sleeping in same room for longer.

    There is no tip toeing around. My house is busy and loud....they are used to the noise and once fallen asleep it would take a lot to waken them. I am in and out of my room all the time....opening and closing door, making phone calls, speaking normally, tidying stuff away into wardrobes, moving furniture etc and it wouldn’t waken them.

    A lot of cultures don’t have separate rooms the way we have, it really depends on what works for a family imo and everyone is different :)

    In my opinion everyone including children deserve a quiet space to sleep in . Away from doors opening and people talking in the room and moving furniture .
    Our brains need to rest from daily noise and we all need it . Children need deep sleep to rest so they can grow and learn

    Apologies, I didn’t make my self clear, I was trying to demonstrate noise that mine sleep through. The room is a quiet space but there is no “tip toeing” the way some people have to tip toe. At the same time I’m not obnoxiously loud. I do go in and out of room often, can speak on phone or talk to other child without wakening younger one. I get housework done before the youngest wakens and it doesn’t disturb little one at all. Obviously I don’t have much need to be moving furniture, but it doesn’t waken them if I need to. The room is a quiet space and relaxing.

    There are no TVs or screens in room. It would be unfair to have noise of that level in the room in my opinion as this would disturb someone’s sleep in my opinion.

    Many children also grow up sharing rooms with siblings. Not every child automatically has a room to themselves. I would think that is a relatively new “norm”.


  • #70
    Sheepdish1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 621 ✭✭✭Sheepdish1


    awec wrote: »
    Cakerbaker wrote: »
    Much like you haven’t been able to specify any disadvantage other than your own dissatisfaction with the set up and your incorrect assumption that it means worse sleep for the baby.

    It's not my dissatisfaction, you can do whatever you want and my satisfaction is irrelevant. It's just a bit weird for a child that old to not be allowed to sleep on their own, and in a thread were someone is asking for advice on what age to move their child out it seems like crazy advice to be talking about 2 years plus!

    The child will have to move to their own room eventually, I don't see any point in prolonging having to do this when it's of no benefit to them at all.

    Nobody advised the OP to keep their baby in the room until baby was 2. They were demonstrating that every family has different ages as to when they move kids into their own room, some said 2 others said much younger.

    Most people in the thread gave different ages but recommended to look up safe sleep guide lines and do what works for the family and what is right for them.

    Some keep their kids longer or shorter in their room than others depending on their experience, circumstances or what feels right to them.

    I find it strange that people think it’s weird that some people keep kids in same room longer than others. Every persons reasons and circumstances are different and they are likely doing what works for them.

    I find sometimes people give advice in parenting and feel it is their way only. I would find it “a bit weird” moving a baby into a room on their own, but only because it’s normal for me to keep mine in same room longer. It’s not a bit weird....it’s just someone else parenting in a way that works for them


  • #71
    iamwhoiam
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 16,250 ✭✭✭✭iamwhoiam


    Sheepdish1 wrote: »
    Apologies, I didn’t make my self clear, I was trying to demonstrate noise that mine sleep through. The room is a quiet space but there is no “tip toeing” the way some people have to tip toe. At the same time I’m not obnoxiously loud. I do go in and out of room often, can speak on phone or talk to other child without wakening younger one. I get housework done before the youngest wakens and it doesn’t disturb little one at all. Obviously I don’t have much need to be moving furniture, but it doesn’t waken them if I need to. The room is a quiet space and relaxing.

    There are no TVs or screens in room. It would be unfair to have noise of that level in the room in my opinion as this would disturb someone’s sleep in my opinion.

    Many children also grow up sharing rooms with siblings. Not every child automatically has a room to themselves. I would think that is a relatively new “norm”.

    Ah apologies I wasn’t judging you , it just sounded like you were trashing around the room where children slept ! I had visions of lights on and wardrobe doors banging and furniture being dragged !
    I am a firm believer in to each his own and all families are different . But also believe children need a healthy sleep in a quiet room so their little brains can rest and grow


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  • #72
    TheNibbler
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 271 ✭✭TheNibbler


    awec wrote: »
    How is this relevant?

    While I know they recommend breast feeding for as long as possible, I do wonder how many people actually breastfeed their 2 year olds, and of those that do, I wonder how many do it without expressing.

    Not many, I bet.

    Oh wow, the idea of expressing for a 2 year old is quite entertaining! Note sure if any woman would make it to 2 years if she had to rely on pumping.

    As others have commented - parenting is such an intensely personal experience that I'm not sure why any parent feels they can judge the choices of another parent (once well-evidenced safety advice is being adhered to). We're all just muddling by as best we can.


  • #73
    Sheepdish1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 621 ✭✭✭Sheepdish1


    TheNibbler wrote: »
    awec wrote: »
    How is this relevant?

    While I know they recommend breast feeding for as long as possible, I do wonder how many people actually breastfeed their 2 year olds, and of those that do, I wonder how many do it without expressing.

    Not many, I bet.

    Oh wow, the idea of expressing for a 2 year old is quite entertaining! Note sure if any woman would make it to 2 years if she had to rely on pumping.

    As others have commented - parenting is such an intensely personal experience that I'm not sure why any parent feels they can judge the choices of another parent (once well-evidenced safety advice is being adhered to). We're all just muddling by as best we can.

    Yes, plenty of people breastfeed two year old, I’d imagine not many would express but maybe some do?

    Some people don’t realise other people’s circumstances are different to theirs and are very quick to judge. They assume that because people do something different to the norm that it’s “crazy” or “weird”. I also think some people overlook the fact some people have different circumstances to their own....some people parent alone or may have partners working abroad.

    Some kids settle easier than others in room with parents, some don’t. Some parents sleep better having kids close by, some don’t. I find it strange how people get so bothered by other people’s choices.


  • #74
    Milly33
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,662 ✭✭✭Milly33


    Kinda harsh words to awec with being a male and not understanding feeds, was actually quite shocked as i know some of ye from other threads.. People can be way to harsh on the dads and yep I am one of those women or men who actually think it is quite controlling of the mother to not let the dads give the babies or kids (however old) a feed.. Think a lot of the time while tis great to breastfeed some ladies use this as a clutch...

    Hope you got sorted OP and do what ye feel suits ye


  • #75
    catrionanic
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,091 ✭✭✭catrionanic


    Milly33 wrote: »
    Kinda harsh words to awec with being a male and not understanding feeds, was actually quite shocked as i know some of ye from other threads.. People can be way to harsh on the dads and yep I am one of those women or men who actually think it is quite controlling of the mother to not let the dads give the babies or kids (however old) a feed.. Think a lot of the time while tis great to breastfeed some ladies use this as a clutch...

    Hope you got sorted OP and do what ye feel suits ye

    I am actually struggling to find words in order to respond to this.

    You seem to be implying that breastfeeding mothers who choose to feed their child exclusively from the breast, are being controlling or selfish, and doing so to avoid letting the dad feed the baby?

    My mind is blown.


  • #76
    TheNibbler
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 271 ✭✭TheNibbler


    Milly33 wrote: »
    Kinda harsh words to awec with being a male and not understanding feeds, was actually quite shocked as i know some of ye from other threads.. People can be way to harsh on the dads and yep I am one of those women or men who actually think it is quite controlling of the mother to not let the dads give the babies or kids (however old) a feed.. Think a lot of the time while tis great to breastfeed some ladies use this as a clutch...

    Hope you got sorted OP and do what ye feel suits ye

    Most comments were critical of the judgement of the parenting choices of others, rather than of him being a male. Not sure what is meant by "a clutch". However, the insinuation that breastfeeding is in any way a selfish choice is so insulting to those of us who have overcome the often very challenging process of establishing breastfeeding. Fathers can bond with their children in a million and one ways other than feeding. And after 6 months they can feed them solid food if they want!


  • #77
    cant26
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 578 ✭✭✭cant26


    catrionanic wrote: »
    I am actually struggling to find words in order to respond to this.

    You seem to be implying that breastfeeding mothers who choose to feed their child exclusively from the breast, are being controlling or selfish, and doing so to avoid letting the dad feed the baby?

    My mind is blown.

    I know! To be honest I wouldn’t even bother responding.


  • #78
    cyning
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,251 ✭✭✭cyning


    Milly33 wrote: »
    Kinda harsh words to awec with being a male and not understanding feeds, was actually quite shocked as i know some of ye from other threads.. People can be way to harsh on the dads and yep I am one of those women or men who actually think it is quite controlling of the mother to not let the dads give the babies or kids (however old) a feed.. Think a lot of the time while tis great to breastfeed some ladies use this as a clutch...

    Hope you got sorted OP and do what ye feel suits ye

    Must go tell my husband I’m controlling him by feeding our baby... Gosh they mightn’t have bonded at all because he hasn’t given him a bottle. And he never gave either of our girls one either: I must have used them as a “crutch” I assume too.

    Op as you can see from this thread experiences differ wildly. My first two stayed in my room exclusively until they were 15 months and for the vast majority of the night until they were 3. But my newest baby is so so noisy there’s no way I will be able to do that. I will probably put him out for the first part of the night from 6 months ish: between the grunting and groaning he wakes me even when he’s asleep. I won’t move before 6 months as I just wouldn’t be comfortable with that. My girls used get far more sleep in the bed with one of us so it worked, whereas it doesn’t work for this baby.


  • #79
    linpoo
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 234 ✭✭linpoo


    Sheepdish1 wrote: »
    There is benefit depending on what works for a family. I find there are more pros than cons sleeping in same room for longer.

    There is no tip toeing around. My house is busy and loud....they are used to the noise and once fallen asleep it would take a lot to waken them. I am in and out of my room all the time....opening and closing door, making phone calls, speaking normally, tidying stuff away into wardrobes, moving furniture etc and it wouldn’t waken them.

    A lot of cultures don’t have separate rooms the way we have, it really depends on what works for a family imo and everyone is different :)

    My child is the same!! Hoovered a spider in the room last week and he didnt flinch 😂😂


  • #80
    shesty
    Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 6,917 Mod ✭✭✭✭shesty


    Ok folks - I think we have exhausted this topic. OP, I am going to assume you have sufficient advice to make your decision.


This discussion has been closed.
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