When to move baby to their own room?

Sheepdish1 · 08-08-2019 08:37PM

I can also turn lights on off etc, the thing that would wake me and little ones is day light. Nothing else really. I have black out sheet and I still waken at 5 with the tiny amount of light that comes in!

fits · 08-08-2019 09:34PM

I couldn’t sleep in a different room to one of my boys before he turned two and now I can’t sleep in the same room as him! Still room in with the other boy for half the night. They are all different. Agree with the poster that says to do what suits wife and baby first.

awec · 08-08-2019 09:41PM

Sheepdish1 wrote: »

There is benefit depending on what works for a family. I find there are more pros than cons sleeping in same room for longer.

There is no tip toeing around. My house is busy and loud....they are used to the noise and once fallen asleep it would take a lot to waken them. I am in and out of my room all the time....opening and closing door, making phone calls, speaking normally, tidying stuff away into wardrobes, moving furniture etc and it wouldn’t waken them.

A lot of cultures don’t have separate rooms the way we have, it really depends on what works for a family imo and everyone is different

Like what?

iamwhoiam · 08-08-2019 09:51PM

Sheepdish1 wrote: »

There is benefit depending on what works for a family. I find there are more pros than cons sleeping in same room for longer.

There is no tip toeing around. My house is busy and loud....they are used to the noise and once fallen asleep it would take a lot to waken them. I am in and out of my room all the time....opening and closing door, making phone calls, speaking normally, tidying stuff away into wardrobes, moving furniture etc and it wouldn’t waken them.

A lot of cultures don’t have separate rooms the way we have, it really depends on what works for a family imo and everyone is different

In my opinion everyone including children deserve a quiet space to sleep in . Away from doors opening and people talking in the room and moving furniture .
Our brains need to rest from daily noise and we all need it . Children need deep sleep to rest so they can grow and learn

bee06 · 09-08-2019 05:28AM

awec wrote: »

Like what?

Not having to get out of bed when they wake up is the main one for me.

Cakerbaker · 09-08-2019 08:05AM

bee06 wrote: »

Not having to get out of bed when they wake up is the main one for me.

This was the main one for me too. We all slept well in the one room so I just didn’t see any advantage to moving him in on his own. I appreciate it may not work for everyone if someone is a light sleeper or if you can’t fit a cot in your room but I think once the guidelines of 6 months is followed then after that it’s what suits each family.

And as to having to tip toe to the toilet at night when baby’s in the room, well I tend to do that even if there isn’t a baby in the room as I try not to wake my husband too.

fits · 09-08-2019 09:04AM

bee06 wrote: »

awec wrote: »

Like what?

Not having to get out of bed when they wake up is the main one for me.

Me too. I realised very quickly that getting out of bed post c section to lift twins out of cots multiple times a night was not my thing.

angeldelight · 09-08-2019 09:37AM

I like to follow the safe sleep guidelines so it will be six months for us. I’m already looking forward to being able to have my lamp on to read when I go to bed

we did the same with our first. It is a lot more of a pain to have to properly get out of bed to soothe them though

awec · 09-08-2019 10:43AM

bee06 wrote: »

Not having to get out of bed when they wake up is the main one for me.

Ok, so to clarify there are no benefits for a child sleeping in their parents bedroom, just benefits for mum and dad not having to get out of bed.

I get all this "do whatever works for you" stuff, but sometimes this forum has some seriously whacky advice, and IMO, a 2 year old that still doesn't have their own bedroom for a peaceful night's sleep is a bit nuts.

partyguinness · 09-08-2019 11:07AM

A lot of the posters here seem to focus on what works for the parents as opposed to the child/infant.

On of the most obvious concerns I had was the idea of having 3 individuals sleeping in one warm bedroom. Personally we were uncomfortable with that and felt it better for the children to have their own room and space. Bar the first few nights it was into their own room which in reality meant they were only 10-15 feet away.

SIDS while of course happens is extremely rare but likewise you have to careful not to be a slave to guidelines- they are just guidelines. Be sensible and mother's know best.

I know nurses in children's wards who (on the quiet) will rubbish a lot of the official guidelines on a wide range of matters and don't even follow it with their own personal child rearing.

We slavishly sterilized old eldest's bottle every day. He was often sick with tonsillitis and stomach bugs from nursery- lived on Calpol which we hated giving him (guidelines, guidelines guidelines). He is now a perfectly healthy rugby playing 7 year old.

By contrast we never once sterilzied our girl's bottle- just a quick rinse with boiling water. Guess what? She has never been sick- not even once. Now there are many factors. But some people will think we are the worst parents in the world for that.

You do get more relaxed with the second and third child.

Cakerbaker · 09-08-2019 11:09AM

awec wrote: »

Ok, so to clarify there are no benefits for a child sleeping in their parents bedroom, just benefits for mum and dad not having to get out of bed.

I get all this "do whatever works for you" stuff, but sometimes this forum has some seriously whacky advice, and IMO, a 2 year old that still doesn't have their own bedroom for a peaceful night's sleep is a bit nuts.

But he did get peaceful nights sleep, as did we. I’m not sure why you’re so convinced we wouldn’t. You’re basing your presumptions on your circumstances which is fine but that doesn’t mean that doing something an alternative way is”whacky advice” if it works for the people involved. To me it’s whacky advice to suggest moving a baby into their own room but as long as it’s after 6 months and works for the parents involved then work away!

bee06 · 09-08-2019 11:11AM

awec wrote: »

Ok, so to clarify there are no benefits for a child sleeping in their parents bedroom, just benefits for mum and dad not having to get out of bed.

I get all this "do whatever works for you" stuff, but sometimes this forum has some seriously whacky advice, and IMO, a 2 year old that still doesn't have their own bedroom for a peaceful night's sleep is a bit nuts.

Having a mother who doesn’t crash her car on the way to work from exhaustion is quite a benefit to the child, I find. And we all sleep very peacefully together.

fits · 09-08-2019 11:35AM

awec wrote: »

Ok, so to clarify there are no benefits for a child sleeping in their parents bedroom, just benefits for mum and dad not having to get out of bed.

I get all this "do whatever works for you" stuff, but sometimes this forum has some seriously whacky advice, and IMO, a 2 year old that still doesn't have their own bedroom for a peaceful night's sleep is a bit nuts.

There are huge benefits to a baby being in close proximity to their mother. And it is certainly not wacky to suggest it.

To be fair some of you suggesting otherwise were saying it was perfectly normal for young children to vomit to get their parents attention recently enough -so never the twain shall meet. But that doesn't sound like a restful night to me.

lazygal · 09-08-2019 12:39PM

Bottles don't need to be sterilised, the formula does to kill dangerous bacteria. So hardly a valid point. Feeding a baby safely isn't the time to cut corners though.

partyguinness · 09-08-2019 01:03PM

lazygal wrote: »

Bottles don't need to be sterilised, the formula does to kill dangerous bacteria. So hardly a valid point. Feeding a baby safely isn't the time to cut corners though.

You have missed my point completely!

Plenty of advice and 'guidelines' out there saying bottles using formula should be sterilized every time for the first 4 months.

It's not the formula that contains dangerous bacteria but bottles with formula tend to attract more bacteria when made up which is why 'guidelines' say it must be thrown away if more than a few hours old. Suits C&G to get us using more of its product! Not all bacteria is bad.

Humans have evolved over thousands of years and billions of us have quite successfully grown up without the barrage of guideline out there.

They are there to reassure nervous parents. It's like Googling a pain in your arm. Before you know it you have convinced yourself you have Ebola.

Be sensible- you are hot wired to raise a child without the constant need for instructions. The animal kingdom do it quite successfully.

lazygal · 09-08-2019 01:05PM

Humans do all sorts of crazy ****.
Bottle feeding is a pain in the arse. But we followed the guidelines when we did it occasionally with our first.

pwurple · 09-08-2019 01:18PM

The animal kingdom has a massive mortality rate, wouldn't be reverting to that.

But to answer OP, babies are all different, and parents are too. My eldest was a very noisy sleeper. Snuffled and flapped, whimpers and mewls all the time in her sleep. I am a very light sleeper and could not sleep myself with her beside me. Our bedroom wasn't big enough to have her a few metres away in the same room. It was jammed up against our bed, or into another room. We moved her to another room after about 6 weeks.

Second baby was a quieter sleeper, so it was later.

Do whatever is more practical for your family.

awec · 09-08-2019 02:20PM

fits wrote: »

There are huge benefits to a baby being in close proximity to their mother. And it is certainly not wacky to suggest it.

To be fair some of you suggesting otherwise were saying it was perfectly normal for young children to vomit to get their parents attention recently enough -so never the twain shall meet. But that doesn't sound like a restful night to me.

Like what?

These benefits have been mentioned a few times now, but nobody has been able to specify a benefit for a child sleeping in the same room as their parents at 2 years old. We're talking about toddlers here, not babies.

Can you link me to something that outlines the benefits of a child sleeping in their parents bedroom post-12 months? Genuine question.

awec · 09-08-2019 02:22PM

bee06 wrote: »

Having a mother who doesn’t crash her car on the way to work from exhaustion is quite a benefit to the child, I find. And we all sleep very peacefully together.

This is bizarre. You have to wake up to the child either way. You are saying if you wake up, but stay within your bedroom, you don't get tired the next morning, but if you've to wake up, and walk to another bedroom in the house, you are exhausted?

Cakerbaker · 09-08-2019 02:28PM

awec wrote: »

Like what?

These benefits have been mentioned a few times now, but nobody has been able to specify a benefit for a child sleeping in the same room as their parents at 2 years old.

Much like you haven’t been able to specify any disadvantage other than your own dissatisfaction with the set up and your incorrect assumption that it means worse sleep for the baby.

fits · 09-08-2019 02:34PM

awec wrote: »

Like what?

These benefits have been mentioned a few times now, but nobody has been able to specify a benefit for a child sleeping in the same room as their parents at 2 years old.

This thread is about moving a baby into their own room. It is not recommended before 6 months of age so the baby is in close proximity to their parents and they can respond to baby when needed.

After that I can only speak from my own experience as you can only speak from yours. I breastfed my children and parented them responsively, including at nighttime - Trusting that they would learn how to sleep themselves when they were developmentally ready to do so. I know you find this hard to understand, as 1. you are not a mother, and 2. you did not breastfeed.

Of my twin 2 year olds, both actually sleep in their own room. One of them sleeps through and the other, who has special needs, sleep apnea, and god knows what else going on, needs my support from some time in the middle of the night. He will grow out of this in his own good time Im sure. When he calls me, I leave my bed which I share with my husband and join my toddler in his.
Im not reallly sure what is so wacky about this. Its just responsive parenting.

Most of the people on boards advocating that babies move out asap and ignored in the middle of the night seem to be either male or in senior years.

awec · 09-08-2019 02:36PM

Cakerbaker wrote: »

Much like you haven’t been able to specify any disadvantage other than your own dissatisfaction with the set up and your incorrect assumption that it means worse sleep for the baby.

It's not my dissatisfaction, you can do whatever you want and my satisfaction is irrelevant. It's just a bit weird for a child that old to not be allowed to sleep on their own, and in a thread were someone is asking for advice on what age to move their child out it seems like crazy advice to be talking about 2 years plus!

The child will have to move to their own room eventually, I don't see any point in prolonging having to do this when it's of no benefit to them at all.

Cakerbaker · 09-08-2019 02:37PM

awec wrote: »

Like what?

These benefits have been mentioned a few times now, but nobody has been able to specify a benefit for a child sleeping in the same room as their parents at 2 years old. We're talking about toddlers here, not babies.

Can you link me to something that outlines the benefits of a child sleeping in their parents bedroom post-12 months? Genuine question.

After a quick google - https://www.livestrong.com/article/245233-long-term-effects-of-sleeping-with-children/

Now I will admit to never having looked this up before as It just seemed natural to me to keep them close at nighttime.

fits · 09-08-2019 02:38PM

awec wrote: »

This is bizarre. You have to wake up to the child either way. You are saying if you wake up, but stay within your bedroom, you don't get tired the next morning, but if you've to wake up, and walk to another bedroom in the house, you are exhausted?

There is a massive difference between half waking up when baby begins to stir and getting baby onto boob - drifting back to sleep., and actually getting out of bed and into another room. Massive. I know its hard to comprehend unless you go through it.

iamwhoiam · 09-08-2019 02:39PM

Cakerbaker wrote: »

Much like you haven’t been able to specify any disadvantage other than your own dissatisfaction with the set up and your incorrect assumption that it means worse sleep for the baby.

I have to agree to each his own and we must all suit our own lives and do what we find best for ourselves
I can’t see the harm in keeping them close but would draw the line at as a poster earlier said at opening wardrobe doors and talking on the phone in the room
I always wouldn’t like my toddler in a room with a TV on and lights on and off . I think that would be very unfair on a young child.
But in a quiet TV free lights dimmed room I don’t think it can be any harm if that is what suits the family
Personally my own three were out at about 9-10 months as they were moochers in the cot !

awec · 09-08-2019 02:40PM

fits wrote: »

This thread is about moving a baby into their own room. It is not recommended before 6 months of age so the baby is in close proximity to their parents and they can respond to baby when needed.

After that I can only speak from my own experience as you can only speak from yours. I breastfed my children and parented them responsively, including at nighttime - Trusting that they would learn how to sleep themselves when they were developmentally ready to do so. I know you find this hard to understand, as 1. you are not a mother, and 2. you did not breastfeed.

Of my twin 2 year olds, both actually sleep in their own room. One of them sleeps through and the other, who has special needs, sleep apnea, and god knows what else going on, needs my support from some time in the middle of the night. He will grow out of this in his own good time Im sure. When he calls me, I leave my bed which I share with my husband and join my toddler in his.
Im not reallly sure what is so wacky about this. Its just responsive parenting.

Most of the people on boards advocating that babies move out asap and ignored in the middle of the night seem to be either male or in senior years.

Ah here we go, I'm a man, so couldn't possibly understand parenting like you can. Give us a break with this patronising, self-indulgent bollocks.

So to cut a long story short, there are no benefits whatsoever to a toddler sleeping in their parents bedroom.

awec · 09-08-2019 02:41PM

fits wrote: »

There is a massive difference between half waking up when baby begins to stir and getting baby onto boob - drifting back to sleep., and actually getting out of bed and into another room. Massive. I know its hard to comprehend unless you go through it.

fits, I think you're confused. You're talking about babies.

The rest of us are talking about toddlers. This whole tangent started because of talk of keeping them in your room when they're like 2.

fits · 09-08-2019 02:44PM

awec wrote: »

So to cut a long story short, there are no benefits whatsoever to a toddler sleeping in their parents bedroom.

Im not sure how you keep coming to that conclusion. It suits some and not others.

And yes, you are a man, so you can not understand the breastfeeding mother-infant dyad in the same way as someone who has actually breastfed.

fits · 09-08-2019 02:45PM

awec wrote: »

fits, I think you're confused. You're talking about babies.

The rest of us are talking about toddlers. This whole tangent started because of talk of keeping them in your room when they're like 2.

No - thats just you tbh.

Everyone else is talking in more general terms

Cakerbaker · 09-08-2019 02:46PM

awec wrote: »

fits, I think you're confused. You're talking about babies.

The rest of us are talking about toddlers. This whole tangent started because of talk of keeping them in your room when they're like 2.

You do know it’s possible to still be breast feeding a 2 year old too ....

When to move baby to their own room?

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