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If you were dictator of Ireland

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124

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    #92
    Undividual
    Registered Users Posts: 495 ✭✭Undividual


    Two chicks at the same time...


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    #93
    kunst nugget
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,375 ✭✭✭✭kunst nugget


    Anyone making vague, doomsday pronouncements like 'We're losing our identity and culture ' to be shot with a cannonball of their own shíte and made to live on the pre-famine diet of 10lbs of potatoes and nothing else for a month.


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    #94
    Thelonious Monk
    Registered Users Posts: 13,775 ✭✭✭✭Thelonious Monk


    Pissartist wrote: »
    No more dole or rent for any junkie that does not get clean within a 2 month period,
    after that weekly drug tests, and if they fail once, never again to get any benefits.
    No injecting dens and pubs to open any day they like.

    You haven't a clue about addiction, that policy would backfire bigtime


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    #95
    Princess Consuela Bananahammock
    Registered Users Posts: 33,041 ✭✭✭✭Princess Consuela Bananahammock


    _blaaz wrote: »
    Make hurling madatory and anyone who cant conquer at least 30 of the basic skills by age 16 be deported

    Deported to where, exactly?! Leitrim?

    Everything I don't like is either woke or fascist - possibly both - pick one.



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    #96
    _blaaz
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,646 ✭✭✭_blaaz


    Princess Consuela Bananahammock wrote: »
    Deported to where, exactly?! Leitrim?


    Kk for intensive training,failing that,if they still cant master skills,be euthanized


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    #97
    tayto lover
    Registered Users Posts: 51,500 ✭✭✭✭tayto lover


    Can my wife apply for this job?
    She is very experienced.


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    #98
    Princess Consuela Bananahammock
    Registered Users Posts: 33,041 ✭✭✭✭Princess Consuela Bananahammock


    _blaaz wrote: »
    Kk for intensive training,failing that,if they still cant master skills,be euthanized

    Master skills like knowing the definition of words and how to construct sentences?

    Ok then...

    Everything I don't like is either woke or fascist - possibly both - pick one.



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    #99
    Bobblehats
    Registered Users Posts: 4,707 ✭✭✭Bobblehats


    kunst nugget wrote: »
    Anyone making vague, doomsday pronouncements like 'We're losing our identity and culture ' to be shot with a cannonball of their own shíte and made to live on the pre-famine diet of 10lbs of potatoes and nothing else for a month.

    Why not a pototoe cannon; why let good spuds go to waste. Go on I’ll take the hit


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    #100
    _blaaz
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,646 ✭✭✭_blaaz


    Princess Consuela Bananahammock wrote: »
    Master skills like knowing the definition of words and how to construct sentences?

    Ok then...

    Nah mate,hurling skills.....keep playing grammer nazi,if thats how you like to spend your weekends though......and they say AH posters arent boring corporate types :D


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    #101
    quintana76
    Registered Users Posts: 751 ✭✭✭quintana76


    Implement severe restriction on the number of NGOs.

    I would abolish RTE. Then again if I were a dictator they would be very usrful as they are already highly skilled and experienced at pushing Government propaganda. On seconds thoughts I may reconsider that one.


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    #102
    Princess Consuela Bananahammock
    Registered Users Posts: 33,041 ✭✭✭✭Princess Consuela Bananahammock


    Yeah. Sport is a much more essential life-skill than English; but again - what country are you planning on deporting people to...?
    _blaaz wrote: »
    Nah mate,hurling skills.....keep playing grammear nNazi,if thats that's how you like to spend your weekends though......and they say AH posters arent aren't boring corporate types :D

    Any preferences yourself?

    Everything I don't like is either woke or fascist - possibly both - pick one.



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    #103
    _blaaz
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,646 ✭✭✭_blaaz


    Princess Consuela Bananahammock wrote: »
    Yeah. Sport is much a much more essential life-skill than English; but again - what country are we planning deporting people to?



    Any preferences yourself?

    Zzzzzz....your boring mate


    Enjoy your weekend though....hounding people online over spelling

    Each to their own i guess


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    #104
    Tony Tucker
    Registered Users Posts: 55 ✭✭Tony Tucker


    _blaaz wrote: »
    Nah mate,hurling skills.....keep playing grammer nazi,if thats how you like to spend your weekends though......and they say AH posters arent boring corporate types :D

    You should edit this post one more time for luck.


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    #105
    _blaaz
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,646 ✭✭✭_blaaz


    Tony Tucker wrote: »
    You should edit this post one more time for luck.

    Im irish born.....and in a hurling area...im born lucky :D


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    #106
    Princess Consuela Bananahammock
    Registered Users Posts: 33,041 ✭✭✭✭Princess Consuela Bananahammock


    _blaaz wrote: »
    Zzzzzz....your boring mate


    Enjoy your weekend though....hounding people online over spelling

    Each to their own i guess

    Nah, just the hounding of people with crap ideas like wanting people to be deported for not learning life-skills, whilst not knowing what "deported" means.

    The spelling/grammar is just to highlight the failure to master a life-skill by said poster...

    Everything I don't like is either woke or fascist - possibly both - pick one.



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    #107
    mad muffin
    Registered Users Posts: 8,034 ✭✭✭mad muffin


    If I were dictator of Ireland I would…

    Invite President Donald Trump, President Xi Jinping, President Vladimir Putin, Supreme Leader Kim Jong-un, President Jair Bolsonaro, President Rodrigo Duterte, and Prime Minister Boris Johnson.

    Then I would get Varadkar and Trudeau dressed up in dunce suits and made to entertain us.


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    #108
    _blaaz
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,646 ✭✭✭_blaaz


    Princess Consuela Bananahammock wrote: »
    Nah, just the hounding of people with crap ideas like wanting people to be deported for not learning life-skills, whilst not knowing what "deported" means.

    The spelling/grammar is just to highlight the failure to master a life-skill by said poster...
    Hurling is a life skill?

    Your quite deluded and lead a sheltered exiatance if you think its not and harassing people online is :D


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    #109
    Yer Da sells Avon
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,737 ✭✭✭Yer Da sells Avon


    I'd introduce a new form of daylight saving, whereby brighter mornings and evenings would be guaranteed by putting the clocks back one hour every morning and then forward one hour every evening.

    Establish a chain of state-run 'gyms' that are essentially treadmills, generating electricity for the national grid. Encourage people to go by offering financial incentives, based on the amount of electricity each individual generates.

    Discourage unemployment by allowing everyone to take a 'gap year' from work every nine years (as long as they've been in continuous employment for 95% of that time). The government would pay you the average of whatever you earned over the previous nine years.

    Make golf and rugby illegal.


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    #110
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Free drink and recreational drugs for all.
    Lock up all the drunks, drug addicts, ne’er do wells, psychopaths, permanently throwing key to bottom of the Irish Sea.
    =Live on my own very peaceful isolation.


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    #111
    corner of hells
    Registered Users Posts: 8,358 ✭✭✭corner of hells


    As well as being dictator , I'd appoint myself assistant dictator too , so if I felt like taking a day off , I'd always be in charge.

    I'd also do away with the NCT ,TV licenses and wasps.

    Also my decision is final and not up for discussion.


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    #112
    _blaaz
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,646 ✭✭✭_blaaz


    Also make home and away madatory viewing for.all adults

    With weekly tests and massive fines and prision terms for failing to partake


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    #113
    JohnnyFlash
    Registered Users Posts: 7,055 ✭✭✭JohnnyFlash


    Retain a religious ethos in schools where the majority of parents want that.

    Increase funding for RTÉ. Deduct funding from wages for it.

    Increase taxes on multinationals, and dramatically decrease taxes on small rural businesses.

    Introduce water charges. Pay for a precious commodity.

    History and Geography mandatory to junior cert level. Follow the Israel style of education.


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    #114
    Strumms
    Registered Users Posts: 24,822 ✭✭✭✭Strumms


    Pissartist wrote: »
    No more dole or rent for any junkie that does not get clean within a 2 month period,
    after that weekly drug tests, and if they fail once, never again to get any benefits.
    No injecting dens and pubs to open any day they like.

    I can see a poster...’pissartist says pisstest’


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    #115
    Tony Tucker
    Registered Users Posts: 55 ✭✭Tony Tucker


    Have the state take over the car insurance business. Make it affordable for everyone. Long jail sentences for people caught making bogus claims.


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    #116
    RayCon
    Registered Users Posts: 4,837 ✭✭✭RayCon


    Free Bongo's for every household.


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    #117
    TiGeR KiNgS
    Registered Users Posts: 1,435 ✭✭✭TiGeR KiNgS


    weldoninhio wrote: »
    What would you change?? I was thinking about this yesterday. I haven't exactly priced everything out, so any pedants can feck off. Its just a bit of fun.

    1. Cut the number of TDs in half. No need for so many. I'd also implement a fine system that fined any TD undertaking work that the local council should be doing. No more "he fixed the road".

    2. Seanad, gone.

    3. Intensive building of a large, supermax prison. Non contact visits, no drugs, the very least provided.

    4. Intensive building of public housing. To qualify for public housing you have to 1) be earning below a certain threshold. 2) be contributing to your community i.e. if you are not working, you will be doing at least 20 hours per week cleaning, painting, litter picking etc.

    5. Purge of the disability fraud in this country. Anyone who is signed off on long term disability to be assessed by 2 independent doctors. Any GP found to have signed off someone for disability who should not qualify, will be fined and a mark put against their record. 5 marks and you are struck off.

    6. Ten convictions and you automatically get a ten year sentence. Get out of jail and break the law again, another 10 stretch automatically. No remission.

    7. Chemical castration for paedophiles.

    8. Streamlined asylum system. No endless appeals. You are declined, you are on the very next plane home.

    9. An ICE style unit. Again, you are caught here illegally, immediate deportation. No sob storys.

    10. Recruit more Gardai. With proper training. Anti social behaviour to be put down by force.

    11. Can't pay the mortgage. Leave and put the keys in the letterbox. No hounding of people who have left the asset with the bank.

    12. Set up a not for profit government bank.

    13. MUP and other nanny state taxes abolished.

    14. Fully legalise cannabis. Tax it fairly, not expensively.

    15. Round up all of the junkies. Put them into specialist centers to go cold turkey. Once the drugs are out of their system, counsel them, have them go through a full scale deprogramming. Only allowed to leave when assessed to be fully clean and strong enough to be in general population without going back to drugs. Won't work for all people, but might fro some.

    16. Streamline the HSE. Offer decent wages to those we need, and a staff counsel rather than union control. Service to be run for the needs of the population rather than for the wants of the civil service.

    17. Abolish lobbying.

    18. Break up the LVA and VA. Diageo is a monopoly, fine the hell out of them. Charge them if found to be paying pubs not to stock other beers.

    19. Abolish the role of the President.

    20. Put a roof on the country. :P


    Anyone agree/disagree?? Got any of your own??

    Basically you want the US model, right ?


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    #118
    weldoninhio
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,311 ✭✭✭✭weldoninhio


    TiGeR KiNgS wrote: »
    Basically you want the US model, right ?

    US model? There would be some things I’d take. I know in some states you see a breakdown of what your taxes pay for.

    Wouldn’t be mad into the oul gun thing.

    I forgot in my first one that id cut Children’s allowance after the second child. Mickey money shouldn’t be a career choice


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    #119
    lbc2019
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,291 ✭✭✭lbc2019


    I'd ban internet forums and twitter, and comments sections online.


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    #120
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    JohnnyFlash wrote: »
    Increase funding for RTÉ.

    Courtesy of Johnny Taxpayer.


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    #121
    quintana76
    Registered Users Posts: 751 ✭✭✭quintana76


    [Deleted User] wrote: »
    Courtesy of Johnny Taxpayer.

    Tubbs is looking a bit peekey on his 6ooooo (approx) grand. Another hundred grand should be enough to get him a square meal. We don't want him to fade away completely.


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