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Leaving 9 yr old in car?

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13

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    #62
    Dravokivich
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Music Moderators, Politics Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 22,360 CMod ✭✭✭✭Dravokivich


    meeeeh wrote: »
    It depends. Sometimes it's easier to leave them in the car. If I need to pay for petrol it will be easier, cheaper and quicker to leave them in the car than have an argument why they can't have crisps. And frankly there is a lot more chance someone will steal your laptop bag than decide to kidnap a child. I don't like leaving them in the car when going to supermarket because you never know when you will be stuck behind a donkey having a big ling chat with the cashier.

    You cant handle a stropy kid that isnt getting their way? I say no, the kid asks why, its becuase I said no.

    Also it's not unheard of for people to steal cars with kids still in them. Most theft is about opportunity after all.


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    #63
    DavyD_83
    Registered Users Posts: 1,991 ✭✭✭DavyD_83


    pwurple wrote: »
    I know I've only been driving 20 odd years, but in those years, two of my cars have gone on fire. One was a battery fault, it went up in flames while switched off and parked. The other was after an impact... the fuel line was hit. It's still a box sitting on a tank of flammable liquid, and they go up fairly quickly... I wouldn't assume a child could get out in those circumstances. Why lock it?

    To be honest, I'd be happier leaving a child at home, or UNLOCKED, than locked in a car, but it really depends on the circumstances. Is it busy there, could the car be side-swiped by a passing bus, or reversed into by some muppet in a carpark... etc

    Have you ever seen final destination?


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    #64
    meeeeh
    Registered Users Posts: 11,624 ✭✭✭✭meeeeh


    Dravokivich wrote: »
    You cant handle a stropy kid that isnt getting their way? I say no, the kid asks why, its becuase I said no.

    Also it's not unheard of for people to steal cars with kids still in them. Most theft is about opportunity after all.

    I love it how super parents straight away need to tell me how much better they are at parenting than me. I have two ok behaved nice kids who are smart enough to try to get what they want. But I'm glad yours are as obedient as you want them to be.


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    #65
    facehugger99
    Registered Users Posts: 7,225 ✭✭✭facehugger99


    Dravokivich wrote: »
    the kid asks why, its becuase I said no.

    I think you're better off explaining the reasons behind a refusal than just saying 'its because I said no'.

    Regarding the car being stolen with the kids in it - do you also worry about meteor strikes or shark attacks when swimming? Where do you draw the line at worrying about incredibly unlikely scenarios?


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    #66
    Tombo2001
    Registered Users Posts: 6,470 ✭✭✭Tombo2001


    Parents are among the many go to groups that we 'blame' for things. I blame the parents.

    OP, I understand your concern. However, I note you don't show any sympathy for a mother who tasked with doing the jobs that need to be done in running the house, is met with a child who says - nah, cant be bothered, I'm not going in, I'm staying here.

    No doubt, that's the parents fault?

    Second, something that's note much discussed is that parenting tools that were available up to say 20 years ago are no longer Kosher today.

    Back in the day, a nine year old that threw a strop might facing the prospect of a clout; and they'd be thinking a lot longer and harder about whether they should throw that strop in the car park.

    (I will say this twice, lest there be any confusion).

    I am not advocating violence towards children. I am not condoning violence towards children.

    However, in my humble opinion, parents these days need to work a lot harder and smarter to keep their kids in check - and to be honest, if the parents relationship is in anyway disfunctional - then this task becomes really really hard and difficult.

    I'm not commenting above on OPs daughter or granddaughter here but speaking in general.

    So OP - your daughter needs to buy groceries to feed the kids. Her child throws a strop and wont get out of the car.....

    Whats she to do?

    Go hungry? Not get the groceries.....after getting in her car and driving to the supermarket?

    That's the real life situation she is in.


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    #67
    Tombo2001
    Registered Users Posts: 6,470 ✭✭✭Tombo2001


    facehugger99 wrote: »
    People's assessment of risk is hilarious.

    Will happily drive at 100kph down a 2-lane road but won't leave a child for 5 minutes in a carpark?

    There is probably a greater risk of being injured in the walk from the car to the shop and back again.

    Its a great point.


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    #68
    meeeeh
    Registered Users Posts: 11,624 ✭✭✭✭meeeeh


    I think we all take certain risks. Two parents watching tv on Friday night and having a bottle of wine won't be exactly in top shape if a kid gets sick. Kids climbing on a tree might fall and get hurt but they will be in a better shape than kids who don't climb. Cycling on roads with kids can be dangerous but for me it's preferable to not cycle. It's safer to keep an eye on kids all the time when they play but if don't they will more likely develop independence and ability to deal with conflict.

    A few minutes in car is not the end of the world and to me it seems we are so sacred of doing anything it's starting to limit our experiences. I go for a walk with a dog and kids for a walk in local woods. I was told by some they would never go there in case someone attacks them. I'm pretty sure there was not one incident there in last 40 years. And sometimes practicality just means it's easier to let them in the car for few minutes.


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    #69
    Varik
    Registered Users Posts: 12,485 ✭✭✭✭Varik


    Got left in the car a lot, given a euro and told to keep an eye out for ticket man and get a ticket if he came.


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    #70
    jackboy
    Registered Users Posts: 4,461 ✭✭✭jackboy


    Truth is children at school are only semi supervised. Any of them could just walk out the gate at lunchtime and fair chance wouldn’t be noticed missing for a while. Also, a car could stop at the school gate, a man could jump the gate and have a kid gone in seconds. Do parents worry about these things? In general no.

    So, worrying about a 9 year old in a car alone for a few minutes is illogical, especially when they face bigger hazards every day.


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    #71
    zaphodbeeb
    Registered Users Posts: 363 ✭✭zaphodbeeb


    https://thetattooedbuddha.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/4cbe5fb73aa20837ed0fd192d7f85191_the-miracle-of-marriage-tip-two-people-arguing-clipart_580-351.jpeg

    Like almost every topic on boards these days. Let's respect our differences.


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    #72
    El Tarangu
    Registered Users Posts: 1,615 ✭✭✭El Tarangu


    Dravokivich wrote: »
    I wouldn't do it at all. If I'm going to the shops, the kid is coming in with me. If they want to throw a strop, they can do it wherever as far as I'm concerned.

    https://youtu.be/dwEg1RoULBw

    I just watched a few seconds of that video; in it, he is talking about the weather being 94° (this is 34° Celsius)... Now, I don't think anyone would proposed leaving their kids in the car during a heatwave. There is a big difference between leaving a child/pet in the car wherever your man is, California or somewhere, and doing the same thing here when it is 14° and cloudy AF.


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    #73
    Wabbit Ears
    Registered Users Posts: 3,042 ✭✭✭Wabbit Ears


    antodeco wrote:
    What does the company handbook say in relation to company equipment? Normally there's a part that mentions what the company can/can't do.


    I leave my kids in the car relativly often. Think absolutly nothing of it.

    This fire talk is pretty much the stupidest line of conversation ive read all week on the internet. FFS people, try, just a little, to ground yourselves in reality for a second.


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    #74
    poeticjustice
    Registered Users Posts: 159 ✭✭poeticjustice


    Dravokivich wrote: »
    A notch in the windows doesn't create any airflow for a parked car.

    The last thing you want is airflow in a car that's likely to combust at any second...


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    #75
    Hoboo
    Registered Users Posts: 3,521 ✭✭✭Hoboo


    meeeeh wrote: »
    I think we all take certain risks. Two parents watching tv on Friday night and having a bottle of wine won't be exactly in top shape if a kid gets sick. Kids climbing on a tree might fall and get hurt but they will be in a better shape than kids who don't climb. Cycling on roads with kids can be dangerous but for me it's preferable to not cycle. It's safer to keep an eye on kids all the time when they play but if don't they will more likely develop independence and ability to deal with conflict.

    A few minutes in car is not the end of the world and to me it seems we are so sacred of doing anything it's starting to limit our experiences. I go for a walk with a dog and kids for a walk in local woods. I was told by some they would never go there in case someone attacks them. I'm pretty sure there was not one incident there in last 40 years. And sometimes practicality lazy parenting just means it's easier to let them in the car for few minutes.


    Would you leave an open bag of money on the back seat for a few minutes? I doubt it.


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    #76
    eagle eye
    Registered Users Posts: 37,528 ✭✭✭✭eagle eye


    sydthebeat wrote:
    perhaps you should step back and take a look at yourself and ask why YOU have a problem with a 9 year old staying in the car for 10 minutes while you go into a shop...
    what are YOU afraid of?
    It doesn't happen that often but things do happen like the child gets out of the car and ends up getting hurt or knocked down. Junkies see an opportunity and your kid ends up going through a traumatic experience.
    I'd never forgive myself if something like this happened to my child because I left them alone unsupervised in a public place.


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    #77
    facehugger99
    Registered Users Posts: 7,225 ✭✭✭facehugger99


    poeticjustice wrote: »
    The last thing you want is airflow in a car that's likely to combust at any second...

    Avoid petrol too just to be on the safe side.


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    #78
    sydthebeat
    Subscribers Posts: 41,021 ✭✭✭✭sydthebeat


    eagle eye wrote: »
    I'd never forgive myself if something like this happened to my child because I left them alone unsupervised in a public place.

    That would be considered very smothering actually

    do you allow them to do out to play with friends, or do you have to be there to watch them all the time?
    do you allow them to go to the shop on their own?

    what fears have you ingrained into them by this irrational fear of them stepping out of a car in a car park and getting run over??
    have you not thought them how to safely orientate traffic by the time they are 9 years of age??
    if not, at what age will you teach them?


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    #79
    nthclare
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 3,316 ✭✭✭nthclare


    Anytime I see young kids left in the car, its the usual suspects.

    All fur coat and no knickers, too busy running and racing around like headless chickens.

    Not enough time to relax and think, all go go go

    My son would always leave the car with me and we'd take our time going about our business.

    I love him dearly and would always be conscious of his safety and security.


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    #80
    ncmc
    Registered Users Posts: 4,852 ✭✭✭ncmc


    Neyite wrote: »
    Would you leave your Ray Bans/ Laptop/ Wallet on the passenger seat with the window partially cranked down for 10-15 minutes to go into a shop out of eye-line of the car?
    I doubt it.
    Hoboo wrote: »
    Would you leave an open bag of money on the back seat for a few minutes? I doubt it.


    This argument cracks me up. For a lot of people, stealing money, lap top, phone etc is a crime of opportunity. They are small, portable, high value items that are easily converted to cash. So if you take an average 100 people, maybe 5 would steal an item like that from an open car. Kidnapping a child is a crime so far removed from petty theft, it's on another planet. It is the very opposite of a crime of opportunity. You could take an average million people and only a couple would consider kidnapping a child from a car. To use the old 'would you leave your wallet unaccompanied in the car' argument just makes a nonsense of the whole discussion. The chances of a 9 year old being kidnapped from a car by a stranger is so low, that it's not even worth considering.


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    #81
    sydthebeat
    Subscribers Posts: 41,021 ✭✭✭✭sydthebeat


    ncmc wrote: »
    This argument cracks me up. For a lot of people, stealing money, lap top, phone etc is a crime of opportunity. .

    completely agreed..... do people actually equate their kids to material goods??
    and therefore see them as a similar value for theft??

    of course they dont, which just shows the ridiculousness of the argument


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    #82
    Bob Harris
    Registered Users Posts: 3,462 ✭✭✭Bob Harris


    nthclare wrote: »
    Anytime I see young kids left in the car, its the usual suspects.

    All fur coat and no knickers, too busy running and racing around like headless chickens.

    Not enough time to relax and think, all go go go

    My son would always leave the car with me and we'd take our time going about our business.

    I love him dearly and would always be conscious of his safety and security.

    What a sweet story.


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    #83
    meeeeh
    Registered Users Posts: 11,624 ✭✭✭✭meeeeh


    Hoboo wrote: »
    Would you leave an open bag of money on the back seat for a few minutes? I doubt it.

    As much as I love my kids I do realize a bag of money is a lot more tempting to other people than mine or someone else's kids. This type of comparisons are stupid.


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    #84
    nthclare
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 3,316 ✭✭✭nthclare


    Bob Harris wrote: »
    What a sweet story.

    Thanks Bob, sure he's a grand wee lad.

    Well he's nearly 20 now lol

    Listening to gangsta rap and educating me on flows and poetic justice :)


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    #85
    MOH
    Registered Users Posts: 6,464 ✭✭✭MOH


    Hoboo wrote: »
    Would you leave an open bag of money on the back seat for a few minutes? I doubt it.

    You wouldn't download a car ... and then leave a child alone in the car ... with a big bag of money ...


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    #86
    Tombo2001
    Registered Users Posts: 6,470 ✭✭✭Tombo2001


    nthclare wrote: »
    Anytime I see young kids left in the car, its the usual suspects.

    All fur coat and no knickers, too busy running and racing around like headless chickens.

    Not enough time to relax and think, all go go go

    My son would always leave the car with me and we'd take our time going about our business.

    I love him dearly and would always be conscious of his safety and security.

    Are you brilliant in every way or just parenting?


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    #87
    Tombo2001
    Registered Users Posts: 6,470 ✭✭✭Tombo2001


    To make a comparison

    Something I see routinely, and do occasionally myself - and is far more dangerous than what OP is talking about here - is having kids travel in a car without a car seat, or with an inappropriate car seat.

    Going back to the point on 'people's assessment of risk' - thats far more 'risky' if we are talking about the possibility of something going wrong.......

    But 'stranger danger' is more exciting to talk about.


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    #88
    B_ecke_r
    Registered Users Posts: 491 ✭✭B_ecke_r


    Atlantic Dawn wrote: »
    The risk of the car going on fire would be the biggest danger.

    do you bring a 9 year old to the toilet with you in case the house goes on fire?


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    #89
    facehugger99
    Registered Users Posts: 7,225 ✭✭✭facehugger99


    ncmc wrote: »
    Kidnapping a child is a crime so far removed from petty theft, it's on another planet.

    Caucasian children regularly fetch well into 4 figures on ebay.

    Stay vigilant people.


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    #90
    eagle eye
    Registered Users Posts: 37,528 ✭✭✭✭eagle eye


    sydthebeat wrote:
    That would be considered very smothering actually
    I disagree, I call it common sense with a kid under 12 years of age.
    sydthebeat wrote:
    do you allow them to do out to play with friends, or do you have to be there to watch them all the time? do you allow them to go to the shop on their own?
    I allow then go play but their supervised. They mightn't know they're supervised unless something goes wrong.
    I'd never allow a kid under 12 go to the shop on their own.
    sydthebeat wrote:
    what fears have you ingrained into them by this irrational fear of them stepping out of a car in a car park and getting run over?? have you not thought them how to safely orientate traffic by the time they are 9 years of age?? if not, at what age will you teach them?
    I don't ingrain any fears in them.


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    #91
    wanderer 22
    Registered Users, Subscribers Posts: 2,133 ✭✭✭wanderer 22


    nthclare wrote: »
    Anytime I see young kids left in the car, its the usual suspects.

    All fur coat and no knickers, too busy running and racing around like headless chickens.

    Not enough time to relax and think, all go go go

    My son would always leave the car with me and we'd take our time going about our business.

    I love him dearly and would always be conscious of his safety and security.

    I read this in a rapping cadence


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