Greatest Comebacks Thread

tcawley29 · 10-07-2019 04:40PM #1

Hey All,

Should be a bit of fun here.

Idea is to post the greatest comeback comment you have ever heard.

For example when someone says "Self praise is no praise" and the best response I've heard to that is "Tis better to have half a loaf than no loaf at all"

I'm sure Pintman Paddy Losty and Johnny Flash should have a few gems here :pac:

ToddyDoody · 10-07-2019 05:15PM

'F*ck you Deputy Stagg''

amcalester · 10-07-2019 05:18PM

Didn’t Kim Kardashian get cum on her back? That was a good one.

Comerman · 10-07-2019 05:19PM

If you're waiting for my comeback look around your mother's inside leg

10-07-2019 05:20PM

"Liverpool beat Barcelona 4-0"

Edgware · 10-07-2019 05:22PM

Comerman wrote: »

If you're waiting for my comeback look around your mother's inside leg

Or in her false teeth

branie2 · 10-07-2019 05:22PM

Your Mamma's so fat that when she fell down the stairs, I thought Eastenders was starting.

Harry Palmr · 10-07-2019 05:39PM

Deleted User wrote: »

"Liverpool beat Barcelona 4-0"

Now that was a snappy rejoinder!

leitrim4life · 10-07-2019 05:52PM

"you can't handle the truth!!"

Atoms for Peace · 10-07-2019 07:24PM

Tiger Woods

Birneybau · 10-07-2019 07:25PM

"Shut up Becky"

Birneybau · 10-07-2019 07:26PM

branie2 wrote: »

Your Mamma's so fat that when she fell down the stairs, I thought Eastenders was starting.

Your mamma's so fat, I heard she just sits at home all day, crying.

Signore Fancy Pants · 10-07-2019 07:44PM

"I'm eating my dinner Kate!".

Yamanoto · 10-07-2019 08:07PM

Rip Torn died yesterday

Thread reminded me of this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=78IRyUrA2Ug

Mam of 4 · 10-07-2019 08:37PM

Am I the only one who can never think of a great comeback when needs be , but think of brilliant ones later ?

tcawley29 · 10-07-2019 09:01PM

Mam of 4 wrote: »

Am I the only one who can never think of a great comeback when needs be , but think of brilliant ones later ?

I just started the thread for new material :cool:

Thelonious Monk · 10-07-2019 09:33PM

I may be drunk but in the morning I’ll also be ugly still - Neville Chamberlain

lbc2019 · 10-07-2019 09:33PM

I know you are but what am I?

A garbageman

Thelonious Monk · 10-07-2019 09:35PM

You’re barking up the wrong Bush

banie01 · 10-07-2019 09:44PM

When I was younger, fitter and prettier...
My uncle started lecturing me on the dangers of drink, drugs and women!
The lecture being delivered by a chubby, balding, whoremongering and hard partying musician ended with these lines...

Him "Kid, your body is a temple! Mind it!"
Me "Yeah, yeah, it's just a pity yours is a Greek one!"
Him "What?!?!
Me " fúcking ruined!!! "

20 years later and we still slag each other over it....
Im still winning too!
I'm far from bald yet :pac:

corner of hells · 10-07-2019 09:49PM

ToddyDoody wrote: »

'F*ck you Deputy Stagg''

Easy there ,Paul.

branie2 · 10-07-2019 10:19PM

A classic comeback by Brendan Grace about a heckler at one of his shows, and I'm paraphrasing

We were a duo known as the Symbolics. I was sym, he was the other half!

trashcan · 10-07-2019 10:24PM

Thelonious Monk wrote: »

I may be drunk but in the morning I’ll also be ugly still - Neville Chamberlain

Not quite. It was Churchill for a start, in response to some woman who said to him accusingly, "You're drunk" He replied, "Yes, but in the morning I will be sober, you however will still be ugly". Or something like that. It's a classic comeback to be fair, and I wouldn't be much of a Churchill fan.

griffin100 · 10-07-2019 10:29PM

One I read somewhere a few years ago......

Lads on the street slagging off a fat kid as he walks past huffin and puffin trying to keep his tracksuit up. Turns back to the ringleader and says ‘the reason I’m so fat is because every time I ride your ma she gives me a cake afterwords.’

Tell me how · 10-07-2019 10:47PM

Thelonious Monk wrote: »

I may be drunk but in the morning I’ll also be ugly still - Neville Chamberlain

Pretty sure it was Churchill.

Man who also had following engagement with a fellow MP.

Fellow MP: If I were your wife I'd put poison in your coffee
Churchill: If I were your husband, I'd drink it.