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Greatest Comebacks Thread

tcawley29

Hey All,

Should be a bit of fun here.

Idea is to post the greatest comeback comment you have ever heard.

For example when someone says "Self praise is no praise" and the best response I've heard to that is "Tis better to have half a loaf than no loaf at all"

I'm sure Pintman Paddy Losty and Johnny Flash should have a few gems here :pac:

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ToddyDoody

'F*ck you Deputy Stagg''

amcalester

Didn’t Kim Kardashian get cum on her back? That was a good one.

Comerman

If you're waiting for my comeback look around your mother's inside leg

[Deleted User]

"Liverpool beat Barcelona 4-0"

Edgware

Comerman wrote: »

If you're waiting for my comeback look around your mother's inside leg

Or in her false teeth

branie2

Your Mamma's so fat that when she fell down the stairs, I thought Eastenders was starting.

Harry Palmr

Deleted User wrote: »

"Liverpool beat Barcelona 4-0"

Now that was a snappy rejoinder!

leitrim4life

"you can't handle the truth!!"

Atoms for Peace

Tiger Woods

Birneybau

"Shut up Becky"

Birneybau

branie2 wrote: »

Your Mamma's so fat that when she fell down the stairs, I thought Eastenders was starting.

Your mamma's so fat, I heard she just sits at home all day, crying.

Signore Fancy Pants

"I'm eating my dinner Kate!".

Yamanoto

Rip Torn died yesterday

Thread reminded me of this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=78IRyUrA2Ug

Mam of 4

Am I the only one who can never think of a great comeback when needs be , but think of brilliant ones later ?

tcawley29

Mam of 4 wrote: »

Am I the only one who can never think of a great comeback when needs be , but think of brilliant ones later ?

I just started the thread for new material :cool:

Thelonious Monk

I may be drunk but in the morning I’ll also be ugly still - Neville Chamberlain

lbc2019

I know you are but what am I?

A garbageman

Thelonious Monk

You’re barking up the wrong Bush

banie01

When I was younger, fitter and prettier...
My uncle started lecturing me on the dangers of drink, drugs and women!
The lecture being delivered by a chubby, balding, whoremongering and hard partying musician ended with these lines...

Him "Kid, your body is a temple! Mind it!"
Me "Yeah, yeah, it's just a pity yours is a Greek one!"
Him "What?!?!
Me " fúcking ruined!!! "

20 years later and we still slag each other over it....
Im still winning too!
I'm far from bald yet :pac:

corner of hells

ToddyDoody wrote: »

'F*ck you Deputy Stagg''

Easy there ,Paul.

branie2

A classic comeback by Brendan Grace about a heckler at one of his shows, and I'm paraphrasing

We were a duo known as the Symbolics. I was sym, he was the other half!

trashcan

Thelonious Monk wrote: »

I may be drunk but in the morning I’ll also be ugly still - Neville Chamberlain

Not quite. It was Churchill for a start, in response to some woman who said to him accusingly, "You're drunk" He replied, "Yes, but in the morning I will be sober, you however will still be ugly". Or something like that. It's a classic comeback to be fair, and I wouldn't be much of a Churchill fan.

griffin100

One I read somewhere a few years ago......

Lads on the street slagging off a fat kid as he walks past huffin and puffin trying to keep his tracksuit up. Turns back to the ringleader and says ‘the reason I’m so fat is because every time I ride your ma she gives me a cake afterwords.’

Tell me how

Thelonious Monk wrote: »

I may be drunk but in the morning I’ll also be ugly still - Neville Chamberlain

Pretty sure it was Churchill.

Man who also had following engagement with a fellow MP.

Fellow MP: If I were your wife I'd put poison in your coffee
Churchill: If I were your husband, I'd drink it.

kowloon

There was that legendary one from Pighead but I can't find it. So there's that.

IamMetaldave

kowloon wrote: »

There was that legendary one from Pighead but I can't find it. So there's that.

Ah Pighead, so many amazing posts/threads.

pawdee

Once again, words fail you.

ILoveYourVibes

I envy everyone you have never met.

......

Panthro

If I wanted a decent come back I'd wipe your mother's chin.

totru kekka

ive had one or two