Is there anyone in your family you don't talk to?

Mrcaramelchoc · 30-06-2019 12:28PM #1

I don't talk to my sister anymore.and i don't care if i never do again.it was just one thing after another and the straw was broken a few months ago and that was it.i told her where to go and we haven't spoke since and i have to say im by far less stressed.

biko · 30-06-2019 12:29PM

Nope, I'm on good terms with them all, and have always been.

branie2 · 30-06-2019 12:31PM

I'm on speaking terms with my family as well

banie01 · 30-06-2019 12:32PM

Yep, so many of them in fact...
That I sometimes wonder if I'm the problem, if I was wrong?!
But...
Then I remember, the majority of them are really just cúnts and my life has been a lot more copacetic since I cut some ties!
So it really was them

RMAOK · 30-06-2019 12:32PM

Talk to everyone in my family

JohnnyFlash · 30-06-2019 12:34PM

My absolute weapon of an ex-wife.

lbc2019 · 30-06-2019 12:34PM

Talk to all of my family.

Just passing terms with my youngest brother but that suits us both

gormdubhgorm · 30-06-2019 12:34PM

There are few extremely annoying aunts, who I try to avoid if at all possible.

But besides that no, I have not reached the level of these lads feuding.

edenbridge146 · 30-06-2019 12:35PM

Hi OP

Yes my darling sister who i utterly despise.
WE both came from same family, 5 year gap, brought up with same Mother and her morals are so different to mine.
We were both pregnant together on our boys and her son starts selling cannabis at 15 and she plays the victim the whole time. My lad is studying medicine. I'm no martyr by any means but she has this constant 'entitlement' mentality despite never worked a day in her life.
She constantly lashes out in jealousy at what i have while I maintain 3 jobs.
She spends 50 euro a week on drink while living on 'disability' - comes home plastered while the son selling weed is left to mind his 2 sisters
So enough is enough - i feel sorry for her little girls to be honest.
Her youngest was 5 when she told her husband, 'by the way shes not your daughter'
Like the list goes on and on and of course shes the angel in my mothers eyes cos she sees me as more 'capable and stronger' . She doesn't listen to sound advice. Won't be told and an awful temper too

Social Services are all involved but ya can only bring a horse to water

is_that_so · 30-06-2019 12:45PM

Talk to all but can't speak for all of them!

jcorr · 30-06-2019 12:47PM

Speaking terms with all of them.

My older brother is away abroad so it's hard to get a chance to chat to him.

mvl · 30-06-2019 12:48PM

When growing up I was exposed to these type of disagreements leading to ppl not talking to each other in my extended family, caused by various reasons (from inheritance to ... mental issues). And even if I was the child, what adults were doing in my eyes didn't seem the right thing to do.
... So as adult I have a family rule: I think it is not normal not to talk to family members, in usual circumstances (exceptions to this would be very serious matters e.g. a crime of some sort). So I am making efforts even when some decide not to talk to me for silly reasons ...

eviltwin · 30-06-2019 12:50PM

I only talk to one brother. I've a sister and brother I haven't spoken to in years. My sister and I will pass information about practical things via text but that's it. My brother and I haven't spoken to our mother since the mid 90's, we want nothing to do with her and vice versa. Its horrible tbh but we didn't have a happy family life and I think we all just feel we want no reminders.

Infernal Racket · 30-06-2019 12:50PM

Don't speak to my older sister who is a roaring alcoholic. Broke up a really good family unit leaving my elderly unwell parents to raise my 2 nieces. So she can **** right off and good riddance

ArtyC · 30-06-2019 12:54PM

Yeah a brother , completely stripped any use out of parents for his own financial gain- treats us all with disdain now .

Common enough not to speak to family members just not talked about

IamtheWalrus · 30-06-2019 12:58PM

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

My absolute weapon of an ex-wife.

Did you see signs of this before? I’m curious how one could marry someone they now see as a weapon? Did they change? Any tips on how to avoid this?

Littlehorny · 30-06-2019 01:05PM

edenbridge146 wrote: »

Hi OP

Yes my darling sister who i utterly despise.
WE both came from same family, 5 year gap, brought up with same Mother and her morals are so different to mine.
We were both pregnant together on our boys and her son starts selling cannabis at 15 and she plays the victim the whole time. My lad is studying medicine. I'm no martyr by any means but she has this constant 'entitlement' mentality despite never worked a day in her life.
She constantly lashes out in jealousy at what i have while I maintain 3 jobs.
She spends 50 euro a week on drink while living on 'disability' - comes home plastered while the son selling weed is left to mind his 2 sisters
So enough is enough - i feel sorry for her little girls to be honest.
Her youngest was 5 when she told her husband, 'by the way shes not your daughter'
Like the list goes on and on and of course shes the angel in my mothers eyes cos she sees me as more 'capable and stronger' . She doesn't listen to sound advice. Won't be told and an awful temper too

Social Services are all involved but ya can only bring a horse to water

I have a friend who's a lovely person and her sister is the exact same type as you've just described, a total selfish entitled loser.
It took my friend years of running around after this waste of oxygen till she finally had to distance herself from her because of the stress that she caused. There comes a time with someone so toxic that at some point you have to scrap them off.

Mr.Maroon · 30-06-2019 01:06PM

edenbridge146 wrote: »

She spends 50 euro a week on drink while living on 'disability'

I know people who genuinely struggle to survive on Disability Allowance and to see it handed out to people like this really annoys me.

I may be making assumptions about your sisters "disability" and perhaps she deserves every penny, but the picture you painted suggests she conning the system.
The eligibility for DA really needs to be tackled by the Government.

gormdubhgorm · 30-06-2019 01:24PM

Jayus. After reading a few of these other posts I feel very fortunate with the family I was dealt.

Church on Tuesday · 30-06-2019 01:24PM

I haven't spoken to my Father for over two years. No loss.

A chap with a massive chip on his shoulder and a very jealous individual.

It's nice to know I'm ultimately twice the man that prick will ever be.

Not every family is like the Waltons.

Infernal Racket · 30-06-2019 01:48PM

Church on Tuesday wrote: »

I haven't spoken to my Father for over two years. No loss.

A chap with a massive chip on his shoulder and a very jealous individual.

It's nice to know I'm ultimately twice the man that prick will ever be.

Not every family is like the Waltons.

A lot of families pretend to be like the waltons. The reality is quite different

Church on Tuesday · 30-06-2019 01:54PM

Gerry G wrote: »

A lot of families pretend to be like the waltons. The reality is quite different

I have found out the hard way that that is very true.

banie01 · 01-07-2019 12:25PM

IamtheWalrus wrote: »

Did you see signs of this before? I’m curious how one could marry someone they now see as a weapon? Did they change? Any tips on how to avoid this?

The person you marry, and the people you both become in a marriage are often very, very different people.

Any long term relationship can breed a familiarity that sometimes develops into an active hatred.

No relationship is a bed of roses and if conflict isn't dealt with, it simmers and explodes and those we once cares most about are often caught closest to the blast.

01-07-2019 03:07PM

I don't speak to my sister or one of my brothers.
Both are very narcissistic people with huge ego problems.
I have always found that even the most seemingly happy families, are anything
but, once you get under the surface. It is sad though but you can only give family a pass for so long before you decide how much it takes out of you and the others left.

Badly Drunk Boy · 01-07-2019 03:20PM

I get on with all of my siblings, but when there is conflict, it's always between the females. Two sisters aren't speaking at the moment.

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5 · 01-07-2019 03:25PM

Very close to immediate family, I talk to my sister and mother at least once a day, father and brother a couple of times a week. My siblings in fact live together and refer to each other as wombmates so I'm probably the least co-dependant leg of the stool there (they do have housemates and each have a partner so it's not quite as odd as it sounds).

There are a few extended family members I've pretty little time for, but don't see them enough to be actually "not talking" to them, y'know? Just avoid them at family events and decline their friend requests on Facebook and that.

Both my parents come from large families who are frankly probably too involved in each other's lives. It can be a tough unit to break into, I've definitely felt sorry for people's partners, there can be a definite lack of understanding of boundaries and firm resistance to that can be interpreted as hostility or contrariness. There are a dozen or so of us who keep a little distance and the rest might as well live in the Big Brother house.

But, I took all that closeness and being in
each other's pockets for granted growing up. As I get to know friends and hear their backgrounds and realise just how many people are making their way through life without that level of support and attention I'm more and more grateful for what I have and more admiring of how other people survive and thrive without it.

Cee-Jay-Cee · 01-07-2019 03:33PM

My whole family (me, 1 brother, 2 sisters and my mother) all get on very well and speak to each other regularly.

I haven't had a conversation with my dad in 19 years as he's dead although I do talk to him regularly.

I know so many families that don't speak to each other and in many cases its over wills/inheritance, they've wasted countless years fighting and bitching over money/land that life has passed many of them by and they have nothing but bitter memories and anger to reflect on.

theteal · 01-07-2019 03:56PM

There's no conflict or anything but I communicate very little with my brothers. We've all lived abroad at different times, it's just a case of picking up where we left off when back. If there's something up we'd be in touch alright but there's no general chat or anything - although in saying that, if either are in the parents house for the Sunday video chat, they'll go out of their way for a little chat with their niece (can't blame them, she's a funny little fecker)

I couldn't tell you the last time I spoke to my uncle (godfather, for what that's worth), in fact I couldn't say the last time my aul' fella spoke to him and he's his brother. I have a Thai first cousin that I've never met - not that I speak to my Irish cousins much.

Ah I've got some weird social deformity, clearly.

Hector Savage · 01-07-2019 04:10PM

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

My absolute weapon of an ex-wife.

Is that the one who had a fanny like a ripped out fireplace ?

whisky_galore · 01-07-2019 04:33PM

Had been on good terms with an uncle up to the point when a solicitor's letter came looking for a handout over a supposed right of way to a shed which hasn't existed for nearly 40 years. He found out I was thinking of going for planning for a house and thought he'd make some easy money. In the event, I didn't build in the end.

He didn't even come down when my dad, his own brother, was dying and didn't even come to the funeral, saying he gets travel sickness. Just for the latter, as far as I'm concerned he can fück off for himself.

01-07-2019 04:34PM

Gerry G wrote: »

Don't speak to my older sister who is a roaring alcoholic. Broke up a really good family unit leaving my elderly unwell parents to raise my 2 nieces. So she can **** right off and good riddance

Don't take this as sermonizing, but I have an alcoholic sister too. I've mentioned here before the heartache she caused over many years. She's well into recovery now, and I'm so glad we didn't cut her off, or she'd probably no longer be alive.

It isn't easy to maintain contact with someone over years of personal abuse, financial and emotional blackmail, deception; not to mention, watching a loved one systematically destroy themselves. I don't blame you for cutting contact, and we did that many times, but never walked away finally. The hardest thing in the world for some of us to accept is that she wasn't to blame. She was seriously sick.

Not telling you what to do, but it really is an illness, almost as though your loved-one is possessed by alcohol. Nobody chooses addiction, and bad behaviour is just a manifestation of that addiction -- not unlike other mental disorders. I hope there comes a day when you can all move on and bury the hatchet (but never forget where it is buried, it's always trying to get out again).

Is there anyone in your family you don't talk to?

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