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How is a Woman supposed to find a Man in the 21st Century

  • 20-06-2019 01:58PM
    #1
    ToddyDoody
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,419 ✭✭✭ToddyDoody


    I mean, with so much rubbish to contend with :)


«1345678

Comments

  • #2
    theteal
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,590 ✭✭✭theteal


    Line dancing ???


  • #3
    Fiery mutant
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,547 ✭✭✭Fiery mutant


    How about trying something new, like say, approach a man and strike up a conversation with him.

    I know this is something probably alien to a woman, but sure in these lean times, put your head above the parapet and see what happens.

    We should defend our way of life to an extent that any attempt on it is crushed, so that any adversary will never make such an attempt in the future.



  • #4
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 5,422 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Pair of binoculars.


  • #5
    mohawk
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,792 ✭✭✭mohawk


    Looking at all the couples I know that got together in the 21st Century. They met at college, work, through friends, night out or a shared hobby.


    You will have to talk to them and get to know them.


  • #6
    Bigbagofcans
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,164 ✭✭✭Bigbagofcans


    Get rid of the 'woah' and you'll find a man.


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  • #7
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 7,946 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    ToddyDoody wrote: »
    I mean, with so much rubbish to contend with :)

    And with that lovely attitude, it's a mystery :p


  • #8
    Yer Da sells Avon
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,736 ✭✭✭Yer Da sells Avon


    Follow the advice in this helpful article and you'll be beating them off (saves them having to do it themselves after a long day at work).


  • #9
    Bobblehats
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,707 ✭✭✭Bobblehats


    ToddyDoody wrote: »
    I mean, with so much rubbish to contend with :)

    Not a patch on the PM’s you’re about to be inundated with


  • #10
    John DoeReMi
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 102 ✭✭John DoeReMi


    The same way they've always done it. Tight jeans, tight top and stand there while the unfortunate men line up for rejection.


  • #11
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 11,195 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    pretend to want sex

    even just for the first while like


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  • #12
    Bigbagofcans
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,164 ✭✭✭Bigbagofcans


    John DoeReMi wrote: »
    The same way they've always done it. Tight jeans, tight top and stand there while the unfortunate men line up for rejection.

    They're waiting for a guy that isn't you. Or perhaps they just wanted a night out wearing nice clothes and having fun with their friends? Not standing there waiting for a creep to say the wrong thing.


  • #13
    Dial Hard
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2, Paid Member Posts: 15,922 ✭✭✭✭Dial Hard


    Fiery mutant wrote:
    How about trying something new, like say, approach a man and strike up a conversation with him.

    I know this is something probably alien to a woman, but sure in these lean times, put your head above the parapet and see what happens.

    I'm going to go against every rule I have about AH (and threads pertaining to female behaviour in particular) and respond to this in good faith.

    I'm a 37-year-old divorcee who has been single pretty much since my marriage broke up in 2011. I dated plenty in the early years and had one on-again-off-again-on-again relationship that wheezed along for the guts of two years but since then, pretty much nothing for the past three years.

    I have a good job. A nice house. No kids. Am (and I'm aware I'm about to commit a massive AH faux pas here) pretty good-looking (imo, obvs). Am in good shape. Outgoing, independent, all the "right" things. But I find it *so* hard to connect with men. I'm more than happy to make the approach. Have no problems striking up a conversation and am more than happy to send the first message in an online scenario. But none of that seems to matter. I couldn't tell you the last time I even managed a little flirtation with someone.

    Now, the good news is that I'm pretty much grand with the idea that I may well be single for the rest of my life. I have an amazing family and fantastic friends. I'm happier than quite a few of my friends who are "happily" married. But I really wouldn't mind a bit of oul male company on a semi-regular basis. And I would really like to put paid to the notion that a lot of men seem to have that all a woman needs to do is basically go out and stand on her doorstep and a man who wants to sleep with her will be along shortly.

    It's tough out there. For both genders. S'all I'm saying, I guess.


  • #14
    blackbird98
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 531 ✭✭✭blackbird98


    Try topless sunbathing in the local park!!!!


  • #15
    fash
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,280 ✭✭✭fash


    Dial Hard wrote: »
    I'm going to go against every rule I have about AH (and threads pertaining to female behaviour in particular) and respond to this in good faith.

    I'm a 37-year-old divorcee who has been single pretty much since my marriage broke up in 2011. I dated plenty in the early years and had one on-again-off-again-on-again relationship that wheezed along for the guts of two years but since then, pretty much nothing for the past three years.

    I have a good job. A nice house. No kids. Am (and I'm aware I'm about to commit a massive AH faux pas here) pretty good-looking (imo, obvs). Am in good shape. Outgoing, independent, all the "right" things. But I find it *so* hard to connect with men. I'm more than happy to make the approach. Have no problems striking up a conversation and am more than happy to send the first message in an online scenario. But none of that seems to matter. I couldn't tell you the last time I even managed a little flirtation with someone.

    Now, the good news is that I'm pretty much grand with the idea that I'll probably be single for the rest of my life. I have an amazing family and fantastic friends. I'm happier than quite a few of my friends who are "happily" married. But I really wouldn't mind a bit of oul male company on a semi-regular basis. And I would really like to put paid to the notion that a lot of men seem to have that all a woman needs to do is basically go out and stand on her doorstep and a man who wants to sleep with her will be along shortly.

    It's tough out there. For both genders. S'all I'm saying, I guess.
    You have to go to social places where it is at least possible that guys are looking for girls / long term relationships - e.g. dance clubs, tag rugby, some meet-up things etc.


  • #16
    Larbre34
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 28,105 ✭✭✭✭Larbre34


    If they all just dropped the sneering attitude, sense of entitlement, vanity, selfishness and frankly overly ambitious physical appearance and sexual performance standards, they'd do great.




    Taxi!


  • #17
    banie01
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 19,337 ✭✭✭✭banie01


    Blow jobs!
    It's deffo the way to my heart anyway...

    Failing that, a good club sandwich and I'll defend your virtue to the death ;)


  • #18
    banie01
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 19,337 ✭✭✭✭banie01


    Dial Hard wrote: »
    It's tough out there. For both genders. S'all I'm saying, I guess.

    DH, your story would be very similar to my wife.
    We got together when she was 36, she is a smart, strong independent woman who works hard and owns her own home.
    For some reason, luckily for me she seemed to have been passed by, by relationships and had resigned herself to perpetual singledom.

    The flip side of me "rescuing" her from that Bridget Jones hell...
    She got lumbered with a big lumbering widower and his smart assed kid ;)

    We are together now since 2012, married since 2016 and she has been much better for me, than I have for her in all probability.
    I owe her so much of my current happiness and contentment, I hope that she feels even a 10th of the joy she brought back to our lives.

    As for where we found each other.
    I always slag her that we are an "internet love story".
    She bristles a bit at that :P but I used to be her boss, and we were friends on Facebook.
    That friendship developed into meeting up for a drink, then dinner and dates before introducing her to my(now I'm happy to say our) son...
    And on to the lovely relationship we have where we have both found the person we most want to do absolutely nothing with for the rest of our lives ;)

    Keep the faith, a relationship isn't the be all and end all of life.
    If you want that tho, don't give up :)


  • #19
    Dial Hard
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2, Paid Member Posts: 15,922 ✭✭✭✭Dial Hard


    fash wrote:
    You have to go to social places where it is at least possible that guys are looking for girls / long term relationships - e.g. dance clubs, tag rugby, some meet-up things etc.

    Oh that's what I've been doing wrong!!! I am *such* a dolt!


  • #20
    Dial Hard
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2, Paid Member Posts: 15,922 ✭✭✭✭Dial Hard


    banie01 wrote:
    DH, your story would be very similar to my wife. We got together when she was 36, she is a smart, strong independent woman who works hard and owns her own home. For some reason, luckily for me she seemed to have been passed by, by relationships and had resigned herself to perpetual singledom.

    See, this was actually never my experience until recent years. I had absolutely no problems in my teens and 20s, had a few relationships, a few shorter-term things and plenty of hook-ups etc along the way, as and when I felt like them. It's only in the past few years that I feel like I might as well be invisible. I don't know if that's a function of my age and that the pool.is just smaller, or if that the ubiquity of online dating has just fundamentally changed how people interact, but something has changed, for sure.


  • #21
    jmayo
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,226 ✭✭✭✭jmayo


    See this link ... plenty of men looking for women in the 21st century ....

    https://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2057985079

    Personally I prefer one of the ones from the 25th century.

    g95cmqispclrrls.jpg?djet1p5k

    I am not allowed discuss …



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  • #22
    fash
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,280 ✭✭✭fash


    Dial Hard wrote: »
    Oh that's what I've been doing wrong!!! I am *such* a dolt!
    :) You are welcome!
    But seriously, either learn to be happy living alone - or work out the best way of doing the above for your circumstances. Those are the two most likely options.


  • #23
    fash
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,280 ✭✭✭fash


    Dial Hard wrote: »
    See, this was actually never my experience until recent years. I had absolutely no problems in my teens and 20s, had a few relationships, a few shorter-term things and plenty of hook-ups etc along the way, as and when I felt like them. It's only in the past few years that I feel like I might as well be invisible. I don't know if that's a function of my age and that the pool.is just smaller, or if that the ubiquity of online dating has just fundamentally changed how people interact, but something has changed, for sure.
    Yes there is a much smaller pool of eligible males in your age group:
    http://www.davidmcwilliams.ie/the-rise-of-the-singleton-has-transformed-ireland/


  • #24
    DEFTLEFTHAND
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 16,499 ✭✭✭✭DEFTLEFTHAND


    Space is the big thing, men like having space.
    Allow him to socialise with his friends one night a week.
    Don't get on his case about trivial matters.
    Allow him to watch 6 hrs of sport per weekend.
    ;)


  • #25
    Thelonious Monk
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 16,513 ✭✭✭✭Thelonious Monk


    I wish people would stop going on about f**king tag rugby when someone mentions they are single


  • #26
    banie01
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 19,337 ✭✭✭✭banie01


    Thelonious Monk wrote: »
    I wish people would stop going on about f**king tag rugby when someone mentions they are single

    But
    But
    But
    Is it not an amazing way to score a shnaky "accidental" grope?! ;)


  • #27
    Daisy78
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,062 ✭✭✭Daisy78


    Dial Hard wrote: »
    See, this was actually never my experience until recent years. I had absolutely no problems in my teens and 20s, had a few relationships, a few shorter-term things and plenty of hook-ups etc along the way, as and when I felt like them. It's only in the past few years that I feel like I might as well be invisible. I don't know if that's a function of my age and that the pool.is just smaller, or if that the ubiquity of online dating has just fundamentally changed how people interact, but something has changed, for sure.

    Honestly it’s probably an age thing, as in there are fewer single men out there in their late thirties/early forties.You might not see it as a positive but at least you have had some short term things even if they didn’t mature into something long term. Plenty of women don’t even get that.


  • #28
    ToddyDoody
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,419 ✭✭✭ToddyDoody


    Bobblehats wrote: »
    Not a patch on the PM’s you’re about to be inundated with

    Plenty of people have come after me and I've buried them all.


  • #29
    Thelonious Monk
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 16,513 ✭✭✭✭Thelonious Monk


    Dial Hard wrote: »
    See, this was actually never my experience until recent years. I had absolutely no problems in my teens and 20s, had a few relationships, a few shorter-term things and plenty of hook-ups etc along the way, as and when I felt like them. It's only in the past few years that I feel like I might as well be invisible. I don't know if that's a function of my age and that the pool.is just smaller, or if that the ubiquity of online dating has just fundamentally changed how people interact, but something has changed, for sure.

    Same as myself, I would just randomly meet people now and again through just living my life. That just doesn't happen any more at 38. I can meet girls from apps alright but I am never attracted to them, or they turn out to be a bit nuts, so I've just given up at this stage. I don't mind, I can do whatever I want, whenever I want. Except have sex of course! Then again most married people don't have that either...


  • #30
    fash
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,280 ✭✭✭fash


    Thelonious Monk wrote: »
    I wish people would stop going on about f**king tag rugby when someone mentions they are single
    Honestly- true enough- I personally found it entirely useless for meeting people. However I've known a lot of people who've met (long term) through dance clubs (salsa, swing etc)- they had a good mixture of "stuff" to social stuff with people who were generally obviously single, interested in getting out, who you can get up know in a group context (people in relationships do go too- but fewer).


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  • #31
    Jimmy Bottlehead
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,942 ✭✭✭Jimmy Bottlehead


    ToddyDoody wrote: »
    I mean, with so much rubbish to contend with :)

    Same as its ever been. You have to dig through the dirt to get to the gold.

    Put yourself out there enough that you're meeting new people, know what you want, take a long honest look at yourself and ask if the person you're seeking is likely to view you as eligible and if not, why not? If you see fit to make changes, do so. If you're not willing to make changes, be ready to justify why and acknowledge that it may hold you back.

    It does help meeting a lot of different people, sussing out what you want, what you need, what you like and dislike, and if you're lucky, you'll feel the chemistry with the right person. And the more you put yourself out there and improve up itself, the more your luck improves.

    Tl;dr: Tag rugby


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