How is a man supposed to find a woman in the 21st century

OMM 0000 · 17-06-2019 7:02pm

eviltwin wrote: »

Not sure that makes sense. If a woman tells you she's happy with her life and doesn't regret not having children who are you to tell her it was a bad decision?

If she's being genuine, of course it's not a bad decision. The problem is, and deep down you know this, a lot of women put their career first, then realise they've run out of time to have kids, and regret it. And many will try to hide the fact they regret it.

Can you at least admit that does happen?

Again I'm not talking about women who can't have kids, or who's children died, or anything along those lines.

Wanderer2010 · 17-06-2019 7:03pm

OMM 0000 wrote: »

If she's being genuine, of course it's not a bad decision. The problem is, and deep down you know this, a lot of women put their career first, then realise they've run out of time to have kids, and regret it. And many will try to hide the fact they regret it.

Can you at least admit that does happen?

Again I'm not talking about women who can't have kids, or who's children died, or anything along those lines.

How old are you?

eviltwin · 17-06-2019 7:04pm

OMM 0000 wrote: »

If she's being genuine, of course it's not a bad decision. The problem is, and deep down you know this, a lot of women put their career first, then realise they've run out of time to have kids, and regret it. And many will try to hide the fact they regret it.

Can you at least admit that does happen?

Of course it does but that's life. What can you do about it?

B0jangles · 17-06-2019 7:04pm

OMM 0000 wrote: »

Hang on. You're not being reasonable.

Let's try to compromise. Can you at least admit the majority of women have children?

What does that tell you about whether or not they actively wanted to have them though? In the last 50 or so years we've seen irish women's options with regard to contraception, pregnancy and careers after marriage change beyond all recognition. In that same timeframe, the birthrate has dropped, has it not?

So it would appear that given other choices, a large proportion of the female population will choose either not to have children, or to have far fewer than their mothers and grandmothers had.

OMM 0000 · 17-06-2019 7:05pm

eviltwin wrote: »

Of course it does but that's life. What can you do about it?

I think a start would be better education. A lot of women don't realise it becomes quite difficult to have children after 35ish. I think we need to do a better job educating women about when is the best time to have kids. I don't agree with the current trend of making people believe their career is the most important thing. It's really not.

OMM 0000 · 17-06-2019 7:06pm

B0jangles wrote: »

What does that tell you about whether or not they actively wanted to have them though? In the last 50 or so years we've seen irish women's options with regard to contraception, pregnancy and careers after marriage change beyond all recognition. In that same timeframe, the birthrate has dropped, has it not?

So it would appear that given other choices, a large proportion of the female population will choose either not to have children, or to have far fewer than their mothers and grandmothers had.

OK. Just so we're clear:

My opinion is most women want to have children, and most women have children.

You're saying you don't think that's necessarily true?

ancapailldorcha · 17-06-2019 7:07pm

OMM 0000 wrote: »

OK. Just so we're clear:

My opinion is most women want to have children, and most women have children.

You're saying you don't think that's necessarily true?

Have you any stats?

17-06-2019 7:09pm

OMM 0000 wrote: »

. I don't agree with the current trend of making people believe their career is the most important thing. It's really not.

A career is just a glorified job. We all know those utterly one dimensional boring people who can only talk about their work.

eviltwin · 17-06-2019 7:10pm

OMM 0000 wrote: »

I think a start would be better education. A lot of women don't realise it becomes quite difficult to have children after 35ish. I think we need to do a better job educating women about when is the best time to have kids. I don't agree with the current trend of making people believe their career is the most important thing. It's really not.

I'd tell anyone the best time to have kids is when you are mentally and emotionally ready for it

OMM 0000 · 17-06-2019 7:10pm

ancapailldorcha wrote: »

I don't think it is. Have you any stats?

I don't have stats. You're welcome to provide some.

ancapailldorcha · 17-06-2019 7:10pm

OMM 0000 wrote: »

I don't have stats. You're welcome to provide some.

You made the point so the onus to do so is on you.

OMM 0000 · 17-06-2019 7:11pm

eviltwin wrote: »

I'd tell anyone the best time to have kids is when you are mentally and emotionally ready for it

In a perfect world...

OMM 0000 · 17-06-2019 7:13pm

ancapailldorcha wrote: »

You made the point so the onus to do so is on you.

It's not that important to me.

Let's agree to disagree.

I think most women want to have children, and most women have children, you disagree. That's fine.

B0jangles · 17-06-2019 7:13pm

OMM 0000 wrote: »

OK. Just so we're clear:

My opinion is most women want to have children, and most women have children.

You're saying you don't think that's necessarily true?

No, I don't think thats necessarily true. I believe, (though I don't have the data to hand) that it has been recorded in many countries, that as soon as women get access to contraception and increased recognition of their human rights, the birthrate drops.

Which would suggest that having children isn't so much a choice as an inevitable consequence of reaching adulthood for most women.

You seem to be asserting that nearly all women want to have children, and those that don't want to have children are lying. It's almost like you cannot comprehend people having motivations that are fundamentally different from your own.

It's extremely odd - google Theory of Mind, you might find it interesting.

OMM 0000 · 17-06-2019 7:17pm

B0jangles wrote: »

No, I don't think thats necessarily true. I believe, (though I don't have the data to hand) that it has been recorded in many countries, that as soon as women get access to contraception and increased recognition of their human rights, the birthrate drops.

Which would suggest that having children isn't so much a choice as an inevitable consequence of reaching adulthood for most women.

You seem to be asserting that nearly all women want to have children, and those that don't want to have children are lying. It's almost like you cannot comprehend people having motivations that are fundamentally different from your own.

It's extremely odd - google Theory of Mind, you might find it interesting.

I'm not saying birthrates aren't dropping. I'm specifically saying:

Most women want to have children, and most women have children.

I never said women are lying. I said they're making a mistake. There's no need to make up things about me so I have to defend things I don't believe.

I believe I've stated that sentence multiple times now.

Wanderer2010 · 17-06-2019 7:22pm

OMM 0000 wrote: »

I'm not saying birthrates aren't dropping. I'm specifically saying:

Most women want to have children, and most women have children.

I never said women are lying. I said they're making a mistake. There's no need to make up things about me so I have to defend things I don't believe.

I believe I've stated that sentence multiple times now.

You are only one person, you don't have the power to state such a fact as "most" women want to have children. What kind of a mindset would even think that? Here is a good assignment for you- why don't you go and interview every single woman on the planet and ask them two questions 1. Do you have children? 2. If not, do you want them?.
Then go away and collate your replies and come back to this thread with your findings.

OMM 0000 · 17-06-2019 7:24pm

Wanderer2010 wrote: »

You are only one person, you don't have the power to state such a fact as "most" women want to have children. What kind of a mindset would even think that? Here is a good assignment for you- why don't you go and interview every single woman on the planet and ask them two questions 1. Do you have children? 2. If not, do you want them?.
Then go away and collate your replies and come back to this thread with your findings.

This isn't a good argument.

Obviously I'm allowed, on boards.ie, to state most women want to have children.

I seriously wonder who I'm talking to sometimes.

If people aren't allowed state their opinion here, on boards.ie, the site wouldn't exist.

eviltwin · 17-06-2019 7:25pm

OMM 0000 wrote: »

I'm not saying birthrates aren't dropping. I'm specifically saying:

Most women want to have children, and most women have children.

I never said women are lying. I said they're making a mistake. There's no need to make up things about me so I have to defend things I don't believe.

I believe I've stated that sentence multiple times now.

You cannot possibly say it's a mistake for a woman not to have a child, that's reducing a woman down to her ability to reproduce and ignoring everything about her and her life and desires that makes her a unique individual. We are people, not livestock.

OMM 0000 · 17-06-2019 7:26pm

eviltwin wrote: »

You cannot possibly say it's a mistake for a woman not to have a child, that's reducing a woman down to her ability to reproduce and ignoring everything about her and her life and desires that makes her a unique individual. We are people, not livestock.

Jesus, that's not what I'm saying. Obviously not what I'm saying.

The responses are getting crazy now (this is obviously a very emotive topic for some people) so I'm going to drop out now.

eviltwin · 17-06-2019 7:28pm

OMM 0000 wrote: »

Jesus, that's not what I'm saying. Obviously not what I'm saying.

The responses are getting crazy now (this is obviously a very emotive topic for some people) so I'm going to drop out now.

"I never said women were lying, I said they were making a mistake"

You posted the above.

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5 · 17-06-2019 7:28pm

Wanderer2010 wrote: »

You are only one person, you don't have the power to state such a fact as "most" women want to have children. What kind of a mindset would even think that? Here is a good assignment for you- why don't you go and interview every single woman on the planet and ask them two questions 1. Do you have children? 2. If not, do you want them?.
Then go away and collate your replies and come back to this thread with your findings.

Sure a man can't even find the one woman in the 21st century how's this fella supposed to find ALL of us?

:pac:

I don't want kids, seems like sh1te craic. So naturally I assume everyone who has them regrets it and lies about it. Oh sure they may say they're happy, they may say I can't read their minds, they may say feck off talking sh1te you know nothing about but come on, I think deep down we all know the truth. And if anyone has any well reasoned arguments why I might be mistaken there, let's just agree to disagree so I don't have to pull my head out of my hole, ok?

anewme · 17-06-2019 7:31pm

OMM 0000 wrote: »

I'm not saying birthrates aren't dropping. I'm specifically saying:

Most women want to have children, and most women have children.

I never said women are lying. I said they're making a mistake. There's no need to make up things about me so I have to defend things I don't believe.

I believe I've stated that sentence multiple times now.

You said I wasn’t being honest. Which is the same as lying.

I find it ignorant and narrow minded that you find yourself qualified to state women who don’t want children are making a mistake. You don’t know anyone’s life yet you feel you can dictate to others about their lifestyles and choices.

Do you know women better than they know themselves?

Where did you gain this mind reading quality? You should ask them for a refund as it’s a bit whacky.

Odd as bejaysus and certainly something the OP should not align himself with if he is looking for a partner as women run a mile from controlling men.

17-06-2019 7:32pm

most fellas end up having kids and in my experience most of couldnt have given much less of a feck about the little darlings til they laid eyes on them

people are funny

anyway

women. 21st century. meeting em. how

chuchuchu · 17-06-2019 7:35pm

Natures trick was for people to desire and need sex, as a result of that children would be born. Once a child was born there is a bond (especially with the mother) that usually lasts a lifetime or at least until the child is old enough to fend for itself. But anyhow humans are too clever and invented contraception, so they get the joys of sex without the unintended consequences.

Wanderer2010 · 17-06-2019 7:40pm

OMM 0000 wrote: »

This isn't a good argument.

Obviously I'm allowed, on boards.ie, to state most women want to have children.

I seriously wonder who I'm talking to sometimes.

If people aren't allowed state their opinion here, on boards.ie, the site wouldn't exist.

You see, that's always your comeback when challenged. Here, I will break it down for you so that you can understand it:

You make a sweeping statement like "most women want children" or "most women who don't have children regret it later in life".

You are challenged on the above to back it up. You backtrack slightly and try the age-old counter attack of "Well...at least admit that MOST of what I said is true?".

When directly challenged to back up your view or your precious opinion, you attack the poster with weak retorts like "Well that's a stupid view/example" then your hurt comes to the surface with statements like "Honestly, you have to wonder who you are talking to here". Classic emissions from a person who cant argue properly.

I could write the book on your methodology. The irony is you would get a sliver of respect if you just admitted your statements weren't backed up by fact and are instead a personal view. But of course you wont do that.

17-06-2019 7:42pm

chuchuchu wrote: »

Natures trick was for people to desire and need sex, as a result of that children would be born. Once a child was born there is a bond (especially with the mother) that usually lasts a lifetime or at least until the child is old enough to fend for itself. But anyhow humans are too clever and invented contraception, so they get the joys of sex without the unintended consequences.

Lots of women go gaga over babies in the way that lots of men don't. Sex or no sex lots of women want babies.

We will evolve towards a society where men will have sex dolls and women can have babies on their own.

Was talking to a good looking successful 30 something man on Friday. He has no problem getting sex but huge problems getting a woman who wants a relationship. Another 30 something in the group had major problems getting women full stop. He wasn't as fortunate in the looks department but he wasn't hideous either and also had a good career, and was good craic. Would have thought he would have found someone.

Something very strange is going on.

17-06-2019 7:50pm

From watching people I know I think it's quite possible that many women don't want babies, marriage etc ever, maybe even a majority of them.

Church on Tuesday · 17-06-2019 8:37pm

Everyone has their own life path laid out for them of their own choosing.

Some women want a career and not have kids. Some women want to have kids.

Not everyone is paternal be they either man or woman. women who focus on a career are hardly defective for wanting that.

It's simple really; if you're a man who may wants kids later in life (as I may do) then be with a woman who wishes to have the same.

Mister Vain · 17-06-2019 10:07pm

anewme wrote: »

How does OP apply this to his dilema as hes not a rapper or rock star?

Become a coder. Coders are the new rock stars apparently.

anewme · 17-06-2019 10:10pm

Brau hof deleted his response.

Probably for the best.

How is a man supposed to find a woman in the 21st century

Comments