Baby showers in Ireland?

oopsies wrote: »

My sister and sister in law organised a surprise one for me. And my God was I surprised! I really had no clue. It was in a local fancy hotel and we had afternoon tea. 20quid a head and everyone paid for their own. Everyone did bring a small gift, clothes bibs etc. It was a bit awkward opening them! I didn't receive any gifts from the same people after the birth which I was totally ok with. We got plenty from others and we were pretty much all set up at that stage anyway.

I enjoyed it. I don't see it becoming as grabby and elaborate as the American versions, but it was lovely to have an afternoon with a few female friends and family before baby arrived. I'm not someone who likes being in the spotlight so it was a nice size group that came. About 10.

That being said I have told my other half if anyone mentions it to him this time round (I'm 31 weeks), it is a firm NO!

I think its a nice thing to do for your first. Mamas need to be spoilt too! I don't see the harm personally.

10 people at twenty quid a head to go, 10 sets of drinks to be paid for and 10 presents - at least fourty quid each to go. Its a tax on friendship and puts a burden on people that they might not be able to afford it - particularly if they have a few pregnant friends. Hair,nails , outfit, night out,taxi,babysitter. Not to mention when the baby is born and christening gifts which are expected or hoped for too. Sure everyone likes to be spoiled but the bottonless expectation of spending and gifts and lunches or nights out is becoming a significant burden and pressure on couples who might like to spend an occasional non themed night out .land who don't have a bottomless well of cash. It starts with the engagement party, then the stag/hen, 2 day weddings, and edges into baby showers, baby gifts,christening gifts and parties - its an endless churn of expectation and expexted spending. And its never just family. Its the same expectation and tax on friendship over and over.

I've been to 4 so far this year and have another at the end of June.

One of them was for a very close friend who sadly lost a baby last year, so her mother organised a small baby shower and it was actually lovely because it was so chill and there weren't too many people there. Her sister had a baby three weeks before so maybe that's why it was a little more subdued :pac: The nice thing was that while there were a few balloons it really was just an evening with a few friends and the ones who already have kids talking about their experiences of pregnancy and motherhood.

The others were the most Americanised and cynical events I've ever attended. I brought what I genuinely thought to be quite generous gifts but very strongly got the impression that they weren't 'enough'. At one of the showers there were games that reminded me a lot of the kind at hen parties - one of them was where you had to lick a nappy that was covered in melted chocolate and guess which kind of chocolate it was. :rolleyes: There were also professional photographers and waaaay too many people - I went to a baby shower in February with 90 attendees and I honestly think I've been to weddings that were more relaxed! That baby has since been born and of course we've all been out a fortune on gifts for his birth and then later for his christening.

Moral of the story: there are different kinds of 'baby showers' and they're definitely becoming more and more popular (a cousin of mine is expecting and has been getting a lot of disbelieving reactions when she has said she isn't having one). I think it's nice when the focus is on spending time with people and it's low key, but it can become gaudy and obnoxious pretty quickly.

We'd 2 or 3 baby showers for our close group of friends a few years ago as they were the first to have kids. They were organised by friends in a friend's house. We brought small presents, and then gave another after baby was born because it felt awkward visiting them empty-handed. The parties were low key, there were 7 of us maybe, just the girls, there were 2-3 games organised by one of the girls, which were fun tbh, we had nibbles like crisps and cupcakes. It wasn't over the top and it was fun.

We didn't have any more showers for any of the girls after the first couple of kids as I think everyone just got wrapped up with their own kids and family and didn't have time for organising more for the rest of the group. There weren't any for second kids anyway.

From other posters' comments, I think having more than one party for the same baby (fetus), is a bit exuberant and demanding. I would be embarrassed for them if they were my friends. TBH I never got the whole thing of surprising people with the gender of your child (we'd friends that knew gender that didn't wanna reveal til baby was born, but they prob didn't realise no one else cared one bit what baby they had, at least I didn't), I think it's a bit self-absorbed. I can see how grandparents would love to know or maybe be surprised instead by gender of your baby but why would anyone else care? We mentioned baby gender if it came up, but never imagined that anyone would be overly excited one way or another. It's not their baby and doesn't affect them really.