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How is a man supposed to find a woman in the 21st century

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Comments

  • #392
    Feisar
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,954 ✭✭✭Feisar


    Cutie 3.14 wrote: »
    Some men can't handle a bit of humble pie..

    I've had my fair share of that over the years.

    First they came for the socialists...



  • #393
    BattleCorp
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,867 ✭✭✭✭BattleCorp


    Cee-Jay-Cee wrote: »
    Thailand..and bring some money.

    A lad from my town tried that. They got engaged after a weekend together, she came back to Ireland with him, cleaned him out and disappeared. All happened in the space of two weeks. :pac:

    I'd give that idea a miss.


  • #394
    Deebles McBeebles
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,967 ✭✭✭Deebles McBeebles


    Cutie 3.14 wrote: »
    Some men can't handle a bit of humble pie..

    Or lady pie in some cases.


  • #395
    OMM 0000
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,733 ✭✭✭OMM 0000


    Feisar wrote: »
    It's a fairly flawed system as back in the day when waiting on A I'd be shagging B and C and possibly D.

    Well it's about risk management.

    It's not going to catch everyone.

    (It probably wouldn't have caught me when I was going through my asshole phase).

    But it's going to reduce risk for sure...

    Genuinely if you can think of a better system, tell me, because I have two close friends who are treated as holes all the time. It's ****ed.


  • #396
    Wibbs
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,296 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    Cutie 3.14 wrote: »
    I didn't say all men are like that, just a lot.

    I don't mean all men have all of those characteristics I mentioned above, some might have one or two, or none or all of them.

    But they exist, it happens and I'm not wrong about that!
    I can quite honestly say that of all the men I've known and I've known a few and outside of a couple of teenage yahoos that grew out of that stuff, I can't think of a single one that fits that description. Certainly not in the time frame you mentioned.

    I have seen it to some degree with some men in long termers, specifically the "sick of listening to her" stuff. Though in most cases I blame the men for that as they picked out the wrong woman, the type who is always bloody moaning about something or other(major head wreck) and/or got lazy and dropped the ball themselves so the woman went into nag mode out of necessity.

    If you're finding guys doing that stuff after a few weeks or months then the wrong guy is being sought out and/or you're enabling that stuff.

    Many worry about Artificial Intelligence. I worry far more about Organic Idiocy.



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  • #397
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 12,694 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Feisar wrote: »
    It's a fairly flawed system as back in the day when waiting on A I'd be shagging B and C and possibly D.

    Boasting about women you have sex with is a sigh of a self-esteem problem.


  • #398
    Feisar
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,954 ✭✭✭Feisar


    Deebles McBeebles wrote: »
    Or lady pie in some cases.

    I prefer a tart.

    First they came for the socialists...



  • #399
    OMM 0000
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,733 ✭✭✭OMM 0000


    Deebles McBeebles wrote: »
    Ya know how they say if you catch your kid smoking, make them smoke the whole pack and they'll never want one again....

    Making a man wait sounds a bit uneven doesn't it. As if there is major inequality in the relationship. Both parties should be sure the other is not a twat and then go for it.

    I'm saying if a woman is regularly treated as a hole, there's a problem.

    Obviously it's a deep problem (choosing men who will use her) but she can use a trick to try to reduce her risk.

    A lot of guys who just use women won't be willing to wait three dates.

    If he's not willing to wait three dates, he doesn't actually like her, so she dodged a bullet.


  • #400
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 12,694 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    I am curious how making someone wait is going to make them fancy someone, it also sounds cold and calculating.


  • #401
    Deebles McBeebles
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,967 ✭✭✭Deebles McBeebles


    OMM 0000 wrote: »
    I have two close friends who are treated as holes all the time. It's ****ed.

    :D


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  • #402
    ArchXStanton
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,912 ✭✭✭ArchXStanton


    BattleCorp wrote: »
    A lad from my town tried that. They got engaged after a weekend together, she came back to Ireland with him, cleaned him out and disappeared. All happened in the space of two weeks. :pac:

    I'd give that idea a miss.

    I've a friend that lives in Thailand, happily married this years to what I'd describe as an angel, most would think she did it for the money/visa.... Her and her family are filthy rich..


  • #403
    Odyssey 2005
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 21,051 ✭✭✭✭Odyssey 2005


    Sorted.


  • #404
    BattleCorp
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,867 ✭✭✭✭BattleCorp


    ArchXStanton wrote: »
    I've a friend that lives in Thailand, happily married this years to what I'd describe as an angel, most would think she did it for the money/visa.... Her and her family are filthy rich..

    Glad it worked out for your friend. It didn't work out for the guy I know.


  • #405
    OMM 0000
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,733 ✭✭✭OMM 0000


    mariaalice wrote: »
    I am criouse how making someone wait is going to make them fancy someone, it also sounds cold and calculating.

    I'm not saying by making a man wait he will start liking you.

    That's not the goal.

    The goal is to reduce the risk of the guy using you.

    A guy who is willing to go on three dates with you is less likely to pump and dump.


  • #406
    Feisar
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,954 ✭✭✭Feisar


    mariaalice wrote: »
    Boasting about women you have sex with is a sigh of a self-esteem problem.

    I already know I hate myself so no need to point it out.

    Plus I wasn't boasting.

    First they came for the socialists...



  • #407
    Wibbs
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,296 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    BattleCorp wrote: »
    Glad it worked out for your friend. It didn't work out for the guy I know.
    Often doesn't. ArchXStanton's mate has a few major advantages compared to the usual mail order Thai bride stuff: He lives in Thailand and her and her family aren't poor. A mate of mine is married to a Philippine woman, have a couple of kids and they're going great guns. Again like Arch's mate he lives over there and she and her family are middle class educated folks.

    These are huge differences compared to some old lad who after a few emails and holidays brings some 20 year old village girl to damp Donegal, to a very different culture away from her family and friends. Chalk and cheese and doomed to failure. Little sympathy for the oul lads who do it either.

    Many worry about Artificial Intelligence. I worry far more about Organic Idiocy.



  • #408
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 12,694 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    OMM 0000 wrote: »
    I'm not saying by making a man wait he will start liking you.

    That's not the goal.

    The goal is to reduce the risk of the guy using you.

    A guy who is willing to go on three dates with you is less likely to pump and dump.

    Maybe you do not mean it but your dripping in cynicism about men/ relationships dose that not interfere in forming a relationship with someone.


  • #409
    OMM 0000
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,733 ✭✭✭OMM 0000


    mariaalice wrote: »
    Maybe you do not mean it but your dripping in cynicism about men/ relationships dose that not interfere in forming a relationship with someone.

    You haven't read my posts.

    This is the last time I try to explain this to you.

    IF you find you are constantly used by men

    IF you don't know how to solve this problem

    A system you can use is go on a few dates with the guy before you sleep with him

    A guy willing to go on a few dates with you before you sleep with him probably likes you and probably doesn't see you as just a hole

    It won't work every time but it will reduce your risk of being used

    I am not saying women are sluts or men are dogs or no one should have one night stands or sex is immoral or anything like that.


  • #410
    Deebles McBeebles
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,967 ✭✭✭Deebles McBeebles


    OMM 0000 wrote: »
    I'm saying if a woman is regularly treated as a hole, there's a problem.

    Obviously it's a deep problem (choosing men who will use her) but she can use a trick to try to reduce her risk.

    A lot of guys who just use women won't be willing to wait three dates.

    If he's not willing to wait three dates, he doesn't actually like her, so she dodged a bullet.

    In that specific case, fair enough, maybe it is a good idea if you pick them (men or women) that badly. For normal people who don't carry that much baggage its a lot less mechanical than waiting for 3 dates before letting anything happen.

    Its almost treating the guy like a child imo, you can have a small present on xmas eve but you'll wait for the big day to get what you really want.


  • #411
    JupiterKid
    Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Paid Member Posts: 13,758 Mod ✭✭✭✭JupiterKid


    Funnily enough when I go out to bars and nightclubs - which is rare these days - I often get attention from women and a couple have approached me to chat me up (women are more forward these days, not common when I was a young lad in the 1990s) . The fact that I'm gay actually doesn't seem to deter them when I tell them ...it actually seems to make some women want you more lol.

    I'm no adonis, and would rate myself as slightly above average in looks, but I make an effort to dress well and I exercise regularly, am a stickler for grooming and know how to make decent conversation.


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  • #412
    CelticRambler
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,305 ✭✭✭CelticRambler


    Re meetup:
    JustAThought wrote: »
    There are thousands of member and hundreds of events - you must be looking at it wrong or only viewing a single obscure club as every night of the week there are literally dozens of events with hundreds of participants. Singles clubs, elsocial clubs, cookery/meals out/language/going to nightclubs clubs/over 30's singles events adventure clubs etc

    It all depends on where you're based. Meetup is feck-all use around here (countryside) - nothing (at all) within 75km, and when I've been working in decent-sized cities and had a look, at least three-quarters of the groups are some kind of nerd-fest (but not video-gaming :D ), and half of the rest are drinks-based nights out, usually a Friday or Saturday.


  • #413
    OMM 0000
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,733 ✭✭✭OMM 0000


    Deebles McBeebles wrote: »
    In that specific case, fair enough, maybe it is a good idea if you pick them (men or women) that badly. For normal people who don't carry that much baggage its a lot less mechanical than waiting for 3 dates before letting anything happen.

    Its almost treating the guy like a child imo, you can have a small present on xmas eve but you'll wait for the big day to get what you really want.

    Yeah I stated it is specifically for women who feel they are always being used.

    I don't think every woman should stop having one night stands, of course.

    There's nothing wrong with one night stands or whatever it is you like to do, as long as it isn't damaging you.


  • #414
    cgcsb
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,139 ✭✭✭✭cgcsb


    mariaalice wrote: »
    I am curious how making someone wait is going to make them fancy someone, it also sounds cold and calculating.

    attractiveness is decided in seconds, not weeks.


  • #415
    joe40
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,813 ✭✭✭joe40


    cgcsb wrote: »
    women who want sex straight away are 'holes'

    What is a "Hole"?


  • #416
    OMM 0000
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,733 ✭✭✭OMM 0000


    joe40 wrote: »
    What is a "Hole"?

    It's a very crude but effective way of saying the man sees you as something to put his dick in.


  • #417
    ArchXStanton
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,912 ✭✭✭ArchXStanton


    BattleCorp wrote: »
    Glad it worked out for your friend. It didn't work out for the guy I know.

    Trick is to stay away from bargirls.... Bargirls can't eat love

    A lot of men tend to go for the low hanging fruit over there, nowadays with Tinder it's easy to meet decent girls with a good job, you'll still be expected to be a provider though, feminism hasn't reached that place yet


  • #418
    cgcsb
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,139 ✭✭✭✭cgcsb


    joe40 wrote: »
    What is a "Hole"?

    ask OM 0000, it's her put down for women who want sex without following her golden rules.


  • #419
    OMM 0000
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,733 ✭✭✭OMM 0000


    cgcsb wrote: »
    ask OM 0000, it's her put down for women who want sex without following her golden rules.

    I never said that.

    Why do you need to make up things about me?

    WTF.


  • #420
    ArchXStanton
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,912 ✭✭✭ArchXStanton


    Wibbs wrote: »
    Often doesn't. ArchXStanton's mate has a few major advantages compared to the usual mail order Thai bride stuff: He lives in Thailand and her and her family aren't poor. A mate of mine is married to a Philippine woman, have a couple of kids and they're going great guns. Again like Arch's mate he lives over there and she and her family are middle class educated folks.

    These are huge differences compared to some old lad who after a few emails and holidays brings some 20 year old village girl to damp Donegal, to a very different culture away from her family and friends. Chalk and cheese and doomed to failure. Little sympathy for the oul lads who do it either.

    There's a saying over there, never take the flower from the garden..


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  • #421
    ancapailldorcha
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 42,640 CMod ✭✭✭✭ancapailldorcha


    It will remain forever beyond me why so many people see the need to post the same lazy nonsense about women on these threads. I was in a good mood one day and started a thread about enjoying the single life on this forum and it went the same way.

    The foreigner residing among you must be treated as your native-born. Love them as yourself, for you were foreigners in Egypt. I am the LORD your God.

    Leviticus 19:34



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