Curious to know how many couples get loans ++

LizzeyBenett · 26-05-2019 10:00am #1

How many couples get loans to pay for their wedding ? How did you afford yours or how much did you spend ?

Outkast_IRE · 26-05-2019 10:06am

LizzeyBenett wrote: »

How many couples get loans to pay for their wedding ? How did you afford yours or how much did you spend ?

I think alot get loans for their weddings , we had only got a house 18 months before so we were trying to do improvements on that aswell.

We cleared all other car loans etc. before going for wedding loan.

shane b · 26-05-2019 10:40am

We had savings that we used. We were renting at the time so house to pay for. We spent about 28k to include everyting wedding related covering stag/hen night, to hotel to honeymoon and spending money. Honeymoon and spending money was almost 8k on its own. We made about 10k back on cash gifts from people we invited.

SusanC10 · 26-05-2019 10:54am

We used a combination of Savings plus both sets of Parents paid for certain things. We had bought our house 5 months previously.

rosmoke · 26-05-2019 11:08am

Wedding abroad:

Around 6k for 50 people, we spent it on: rings, suit and dress, 4 courses menu with cake and deserts from best bakery in town and open bar, fireworks, guitarist, dj, hotel, car rental, plane tickets and a few small details.
I imagined we're gonna spend around 10k, was quite surprised when we crossed the line.
We're also gonna get the money back, guests normally leave a cash gift, generally covering wedding expenses + a bit extra.

amcalester · 26-05-2019 11:14am

Aiming to do it without a loan but like others we just bought a house so may end up borrowing a small amount.

Should be some interest free credit card offers that can be used.

eviltwin · 26-05-2019 11:18am

I would have felt very uncomfortable getting a loan to pay for a wedding. We used savings but as it was a small wedding it only cost about a grand.

amcalester · 26-05-2019 11:26am

eviltwin wrote: »

I would have felt very uncomfortable getting a loan to pay for a wedding. We used savings but as it was a small wedding it only cost about a grand.

I would have agreed before the costs started mounting up, we were a little naive in how much it will all cost and booked a date based on when we (thought we) could afford it but now our savings plan might fall short.

I’m hoping my annual bonus will make up the shortfall, either that or a small loan which can be paid back over 6 months.

I know people who took out 5 figure loans to pay for their wedding and many have said they regretted it so trying to avoid that.

listermint · 26-05-2019 11:29am

I'd be very very uncomfortable taking a loan out for a party . Let's face it. That's what it is

We used savings

Loans..... Nope nope nope.

If you are getting to that point then you've run away with yourself.

Outkast_IRE · 26-05-2019 2:58pm

It all comes down to individual circumstances. We only got some minor assistance from one parent as that was all they could afford and we appreciated it. We kept our wedding comparitvely small in numbers less than 100, but the venue we liked after viewing many was going to come in around €90 a head including wine, reception food etc.

We have a modest mortgage, had no other loans and will have it cleared within approx 1 year of wedding. It financially puts us under no pressure really. We could of covered it ourselves if we put back the wedding a year but we are both mid 30s in decent jobs so had no issue taking a short term loan.

In our particular circumstances it was a reasonable cost , within our means so we could have the day both my wife and I wanted, with our families and some close friends.

I would feel completely different about it if my wife had wanted a 200+ wedding full of people you rarely see and we were taking on a debt beyond our means to fund it.

Loveinapril · 26-05-2019 3:36pm

We had a very short engagement and got a €4,000 loan that allowed us to get married on the date we wanted, with the photographer and musicians we wanted. We had a relatively small wedding and kept our budget to match. We didn't use any of our gift money to pay the loan off as we used that to pay for our honeymoon, but had the loan paid off in a year.

pwurple · 27-05-2019 12:03am

God no.

We used savings.

Toots · 27-05-2019 12:25am

I didn't take a loan out myself, but used to work in lending and had a fair few couples in looking at wedding loans.

Ideally, I'd recommend doing it without borrowing, but the reality is for some people it would take a long time to build up savings.

The one piece of advice I would give is don't factor in gifts when you're working out the affordability of the loan. Plan it as though you won't get any cash and you'll have to pay off the loan over 'x' years, and make sure you can afford the monthly repayments. I did have the odd few couples who would come in after the wedding and they'd have borrowed say €20k, but planned to pay it all back with cash gifts, but they ended up getting say €12k in cash gifts, so they wanted to restructure the loan because the 20k loan would have had high monthly payments, which they hadn't expected to have to pay.

lazygal · 27-05-2019 9:21am

Would never take out a loan to pay for a party. It's about 250 quid to get married, don't spend money you don't have on a wedding.

Gatica · 27-05-2019 9:53am

We were renting at the time. We saved for 1 year and 9 months of our engagement, the wedding costs kept adding on and we ended up spending another 50% probably on top of the original budget on the wedding and another 50% on the honeymoon, i.e. it doubled (didn't budget much for the honeymoon for some reason though it was about a 1/4 of whole wedding cost).

It was probably on the more expensive side of weddings. We never factored in gifts, though thanks to the generosity of friends of family I think we got 1/4 of wedding cost back in cash. We got loan pre-approval in the final couple of months before the wedding, but we didn't end up needing it thankfully. We lived like hermits before the wedding and paid off credit cards in the couple of months after the wedding.

I think it really depends on personal circumstances and what you want from the wedding. Generally if you struggle to replay loans or if it would mean a long-term loan, then it may not be a good idea. However, for some people it's just a way to tie them over for a couple of months.

SozBbz · 27-05-2019 11:30am

I'm one of these people who only really believes borrowing to fund capital expenditure (house purchase, home improvement etc). I cannot fathom borrowing for items which I view as current expenditure, and weddings would fall into that category. Similarly I've never borrowed for a car or a holiday.

We are keeping our wedding small as we're in the process of buying a house and when comparing putting money into that versus spending it on a day out, theres really no comparison.

We've more than we need deposit wise, but I'd still rather put the money into the house and borrow less for the mortgage.

Sounds quite boring when I write it all down, but I genuinely don't put that much value into a single day. When I think of the house we might potentially buy, the years of enjoyment and making it our own, that gives me all the warm and fuzzies. Thinking about a big wedding gives me heart palpitations! I'm not making any firm plans until we buy a house but I'm leaning towards registry office + dinner party, zero bridal party and minimal fuss!

Neyite · 27-05-2019 12:29pm

We are planning on using savings, I don't think I would be comfortable getting a loan. But we are planning a small event so even if we were to add on a top-up loan it would only be a small credit union one of a couple of thousand at the most I would say.

Loveinapril · 27-05-2019 12:54pm

Neyite wrote: »

But we are planning a small event so even if we were to add on a top-up loan it would only be a small credit union one of a couple of thousand at the most I would say.

That's what we did. Had €2,500 in shares, got a €4,000 loan and cleared it within the year. It just allowed us to have a few extras without worry and still managed to add to the shares.

baby and crumble · 27-05-2019 3:55pm

We got a credit union loan, but bundled a bunch of other expenses (including academic fees and some small home improvement stuff) into one loan with very manageable payments. The way I looked at it was we were paying the same into the loan repayments as we would have been saving every month in order to pay for the wedding, but we were able to plan and pay for things straight away. We were able to pay a chunk off it straight after the wedding as we got some very generous cash gifts but we didn't budget for any of them. So all in all we paid a few hundred euro to essentially 'rent' the money for a while whilst planning the wedding we wanted. It was worth it to us to pay for that convenience.

LirW · 27-05-2019 3:55pm

We did the kind of elopement/honeymoon thing in one and went to America for 2 weeks instead of doing a party. We ended up with like a grand on the credit card for some nonsense that we decided to splash out on, we got married this March and afaik it's about to be cleared.
But we got a credit card that has 0 interest for 6 months.

That said, I'd never be comfortable with more than that, we were already hesitant doing this (even though it was more than worth it!). Didn't want a burden around our neck when we start married life together.

Hooked · 27-05-2019 4:06pm

We had a big-ish (for us) wedding booked. 140 people, 80 quid a head... bit of travel involved. August Bank Holiday. 2000 band. 400 quid cake. Blah blah... Then we decided... nah, this isn't for us. We're going a bit mad. Looking at 20K ish, all in. For one day! Nah!!!

In the end we had a Humanist Ceremony *(HIGHLY recommended BTW) in a local restaurant. 70 people, 50 quid a head. Included band, pre-dinner reception, etc... My cousin gifted my wife the dress (she was winding up her Bridal boutique). Her sister made us the most amazing cake! My ring cost a fiver, my suit was 150 quid. Made use of a 5 star hotel grounds for photos. My brother did the photos and we had an absolute belter of a day! Proper close family & friends wedding.

Prob cost a little over 4 grand - so we paid up front.

No regrets!

....... · 27-05-2019 4:16pm

I would have waited to get married rather than borrow for it, or would have scaled it right back.

We saved for 2 years.

elle.en · 27-05-2019 5:00pm

We are doing about half from savings, half from a loan. As someone else said, it’s all about personal circumstances. We have our house with a quite small mortgage, we have decent income and the loan will not put us under financial pressure. The loan allows us to do it when we want and the way we want, rather than waiting. It’s something we both agreed on too so it was the best decision for both of us.

We’re not relying on gifts to pay it back either, we made sure the monthly repayments are more than manageable. In our case, I was quite happy to get a loan for our wedding. It’s all down to circumstances and if it will put you under pressure.

Scarinae · 27-05-2019 5:34pm

We’ve managed to budget for ours without taking out a loan thankfully, but we also have the benefit of nearly two years from when we started planning it to the day itself. Himself did up a very complicated spreadsheet with estimated costs for everything and a bit of buffer in case we go over, including what savings we have so far and a portion of each of our salaries each month to go towards it. We are getting some contributions from our families – for example, my parents have offered to pay for my dress – but we will be paying for most of it ourselves.

Addle · 27-05-2019 5:39pm

National Banks advertise loans specifically for weddings so there is obviously a market for it and fair enough.

It annoyed me because we tried to get an exemption over 3.5 income limit for mortgage, and we couldn’t.
However we could have got a (higher interest) car loan or wedding loan on top of our mortgage!

Nikki Sixx · 27-05-2019 5:42pm

rosmoke wrote: »

Wedding abroad:

Around 6k for 50 people, we spent it on: rings, suit and dress, 4 courses menu with cake and deserts from best bakery in town and open bar, fireworks, guitarist, dj, hotel, car rental, plane tickets and a few small details.
I imagined we're gonna spend around 10k, was quite surprised when we crossed the line.
We're also gonna get the money back, guests normally leave a cash gift, generally covering wedding expenses + a bit extra.

What country and what part?

27-05-2019 5:50pm

rosmoke wrote: »

Wedding abroad:

Around 6k for 50 people, we spent it on: rings, suit and dress, 4 courses menu with cake and deserts from best bakery in town and open bar, fireworks, guitarist, dj, hotel, car rental, plane tickets and a few small details.
I imagined we're gonna spend around 10k, was quite surprised when we crossed the line.
We're also gonna get the money back, guests normally leave a cash gift, generally covering wedding expenses + a bit extra.

I've been to 2 overseas weddings, no-one I spoke with gave a cash present.
Of course the bride & groom didn't want any, as it was enough expense for their guests already

iamwhoiam · 27-05-2019 5:54pm

rosmoke wrote: »

Wedding abroad:

Around 6k for 50 people, we spent it on: rings, suit and dress, 4 courses menu with cake and deserts from best bakery in town and open bar, fireworks, guitarist, dj, hotel, car rental, plane tickets and a few small details.
I imagined we're gonna spend around 10k, was quite surprised when we crossed the line.
We're also gonna get the money back, guests normally leave a cash gift, generally covering wedding expenses + a bit extra.

But it costs the guests to get there and its not cheap . If I was attending a wedding abroad and spending quite a bit to get there I would not be giving cash too

Call me Al · 27-05-2019 6:00pm

rosmoke wrote: »

Wedding abroad:

Around 6k for 50 people, we spent it on: rings, suit and dress, 4 courses menu with cake and deserts from best bakery in town and open bar, fireworks, guitarist, dj, hotel, car rental, plane tickets and a few small details.
I imagined we're gonna spend around 10k, was quite surprised when we crossed the line.
We're also gonna get the money back, guests normally leave a cash gift, generally covering wedding expenses + a bit extra.

I wouldn't take it as a given that your guests will cover the expenses. You're already asking them to spend extra travelling abroad on top of hotels etc. so there may not be anything left in the kitty.

topmanamillion · 27-05-2019 6:05pm

If people are truly honest with themselves the reason they're spending upwards of €20K on a party is an excercise in keeping up with the Jones'.

eviltwin · 27-05-2019 6:22pm

Don't start married life in debt. There is life after a wedding and you don't want to come home to the realisation you've got a massive loan to repay.

27-05-2019 6:23pm

topmanamillion wrote: »

If people are truly honest with themselves the reason they're spending upwards of €20K on a party is an excercise in keeping up with the Jones'.

There are people out there who can well afford a 20K wedding and more besides.

Personally I'd budget first and foremost with what money/savings I had but I wouldn't rule out a small loan of say up to 3K if I felt it would transform my day in some way.

However, there is a saying "Necessity is the mother of invention"- people can get very creative in terms of how they go about their wedding plans, if money is tight.

Move from a 120 person wedding in a hotel to a family-only 30 person wedding reception in a private room in an upmarket restaurant followed by a big party in a nice hotel ballroom for friends etc.

Some people feel pressure unnecessarily but best advice is start saving early for the wedding you want- if you can't afford a 20K wedding, then don't buy one. But don't scrimp either.

lazygal · 27-05-2019 6:52pm

I'd never give a huge cash gift for a wedding abroad. They're so expensive and time consuming to attend.

iamwhoiam · 27-05-2019 7:05pm

lazygal wrote: »

I'd never give a huge cash gift for a wedding abroad. They're so expensive and time consuming to attend.

I will probably get shot down for this but a wedding abroad is cheaper for the couple and hugely expensive for their guests . Its a selfish move in my opinion

Outkast_IRE · 27-05-2019 7:34pm

iamwhoiam wrote: »

I will probably get shot down for this but a wedding abroad is cheaper for the couple and hugely expensive for their guests . Its a selfish move in my opinion

I do agree with you. My brother had his wedding abroad and for each guest it would of been €300 each miniumum to get there and pay for a basic hotel for a few nights. Then airport transfers etc. add on more, using up probably 2 days of your annual leave etc.

He was bragging about how little it cost them as they provided the alcohol to the hotel etc.

If its a wedding abroad , unless you are a very close family member or a very close friend then its an immediate no thank you from me.

Shelli2 · 27-05-2019 8:06pm

We will hopefully be covering everything with savings and a small gift from my father, but if we're a bit short we might get a small CU loan, buy nothing that couldn't be paid off within 6 months.

27-05-2019 8:11pm

iamwhoiam wrote: »

I will probably get shot down for this but a wedding abroad is cheaper for the couple and hugely expensive for their guests . Its a selfish move in my opinion

I wouldn't shoot you for saying that. i suppose in the two weddings abroad I went to, I made my holiday from it as well so it worked out really well. they were close friends too- great venues etc so really quite special - had they not been close friends though I'd probably have given my excuses and wished them well on the day.

Scarinae · 27-05-2019 8:52pm

iamwhoiam wrote: »

I will probably get shot down for this but a wedding abroad is cheaper for the couple and hugely expensive for their guests . Its a selfish move in my opinion

Some of us don’t have much choice. If an engaged couple are from different countries, inevitably some people are going to have to travel to get to the wedding (unless you have a wedding in each location and keep your guest lists totally separate, or else just don't invite people to your wedding).

Having said that, we're not expecting gifts from people who travel to our wedding.

Shelli2 · 27-05-2019 9:02pm

Scarinae wrote: »

Some of us don’t have much choice. If an engaged couple are from different countries, inevitably some people are going to have to travel to get to the wedding (unless you have a wedding in each location and keep your guest lists totally separate, or else just don't invite people to your wedding).

Having said that, we're not expecting gifts from people who travel to our wedding.

But that's completely different to an Irish couple going abroad to keep costs down, and then expecting guests who have had to incur large travel expenses to attend to also give cash presents.

LirW · 27-05-2019 9:04pm

Scarinae wrote: »

Some of us don’t have much choice. If an engaged couple are from different countries, inevitably some people are going to have to travel to get to the wedding (unless you have a wedding in each location and keep your guest lists totally separate, or else just don't invite people to your wedding).

Having said that, we're not expecting gifts from people who travel to our wedding.

That was a huge factor on why we cancelled and removed eloped. I didn't want to get married back home, my family would have had to travel and we weren't arsed doing it in a destination.
When I told my family there won't be a wedding on they were all relieved.
Went to the states and bought a Livestream and everyone had a ball, friends of mine did a big streaming party in their houseshare!

iamwhoiam · 27-05-2019 9:35pm

Scarinae wrote: »

Some of us don’t have much choice. If an engaged couple are from different countries, inevitably some people are going to have to travel to get to the wedding (unless you have a wedding in each location and keep your guest lists totally separate, or else just don't invite people to your wedding).

Having said that, we're not expecting gifts from people who travel to our wedding.

That is completely different . I fully understand that and the reasons
My post was about Irish couples boasting how cheap their wedding was abroad , forgetting totally that their guests pay a fortune to get there

ixoy · 27-05-2019 11:45pm

Not at all. We went in with the attitude that we had to be able to pay everything up front and presume we'd get nothing from anyone who had come to it. That's the only safe way really to finance it!

ontheditch2 · 28-05-2019 8:18am

Getting married next June, and expect to be getting a small loan to tie us over for the few months before the wedding.
Bought a house in the last 3 months, and whatever savings we had, have been poured into that. We are starting from scratch essentially.
We have not received any assistance from parents in buying the house and will receive normal family gifts from them for the wedding, so everything we have will be self financed essentially.
I expect we will be getting a loan of €5-8,000 in the weeks leading up to the wedding, to cover the costs of everything and would be hopeful of paying it off a week after the wedding, with the wedding gifts.

....... · 28-05-2019 9:21am

ontheditch2 wrote: »

I expect we will be getting a loan of €5-8,000 in the weeks leading up to the wedding, to cover the costs of everything and would be hopeful of paying it off a week after the wedding, with the wedding gifts.

Sounds like people are just invited so they can pay for the party.

I remember Eddie Hobbs popularising this kind of thinking pre recession, he encouraged people to invite 180+ guests as the fixed costs were the same regardless of if there were 100 people or 200 people but youd get much more in cash from more people.

A bit like selling tickets for an event. More tickets, more cash. A bit crass IMO but the idea has certainly stuck for some people.

baby and crumble · 28-05-2019 10:54am

topmanamillion wrote: »

If people are truly honest with themselves the reason they're spending upwards of €20K on a party is an excercise in keeping up with the Jones'.

I get where you're coming from but I don't know if you can blanketly say that. Ours was probably close to that when you took everything (outfits and honeymoon included) but 'keeping up' with others genuinely never entered our heads. We're generally fairly sensible with money, and we wanted a big party for all our friends and family. We waited a really, really long time to get married.

A lot of the stuff we decided on was a bit more expensive but a lot of that was stuff that has been used a fair bit since. Since the wedding my wife has worn her wedding dress 3/4 times, I've worn my tux 5/6 times. I'll be wearing it at least another 5 times this year. All our decorations have been reused either by someone else for their wedding or by friends who run events as extra decor.

I think there's a big difference between people taking out a loan for a wedding that they can comfortably enough pay back within a reasonable timeframe and someone taking out a crazy loan that will cripple them financially.

Neyite · 28-05-2019 11:18am

The other thing to bear in mind about spending big money on a wedding is that for a lot of couples, they may want to start a family after they marry - and if they do, then they might be facing maternity / pregnancy related costs as well as mortgage/rent and a sizeable loan repayment for their wedding.

So if you want to start a family, then it's worth factoring that into the repayment term of your loan and have it well out of the way before baby related costs heap on top of it.

PinkLady2016 · 28-05-2019 12:57pm

topmanamillion wrote: »

If people are truly honest with themselves the reason they're spending upwards of €20K on a party is an excercise in keeping up with the Jones'.

I think you are right and its crazy money to spend on a wedding. Were going to use savings for ours and wont be getting a loan.

silent_spark · 29-05-2019 10:06pm

I think this just comes down to people’s general approach to money and debt. There will always be the type of people who are happy to regularly get loans (for cars, holidays, computer upgrades, weddings etc) and the type of people who prefer to pay cash for non-capital items (even if that means delaying things, or downsizing expectations). It’s up to everyone to do what they prefer. We’re definitely on the cash side of the spectrum, and paid for our wedding ourselves.

....... · 30-05-2019 12:19pm

silent_spark wrote: »

I think this just comes down to people’s general approach to money and debt.

And what people consider to be a dream wedding.

For me personally I would have HATED a traditional Irish wedding, I would have hated to be centre of attention, I would have hated having to entertain 180 people, I could genuinely imagine nothing worse than my wedding day being a "sesh".

But thats what some people want, and a traditional Irish wedding costs money.

SozBbz · 30-05-2019 12:30pm

....... wrote: »

And what people consider to be a dream wedding.

For me personally I would have HATED a traditional Irish wedding, I would have hated to be centre of attention, I would have hated having to entertain 180 people, I could genuinely imagine nothing worse than my wedding day being a "sesh".

But thats what some people want, and a traditional Irish wedding costs money.

Exactly. I'm with you on all of the above. We won't be borrowing because I just wouldnt borrow for anything thats not a long term investment, but equally because the day that that money could buy is also my worst nightmare.

I've friends who had a €50k wedding in the last 2 years. They want to buy a house and are now on a budget to save and won't be in a position to start seriously looking for months yet. They didnt borrow but they spent a lot of what they'd accumulated.

We just decided a few weeks ago to look at buying again, already having an apartment. Based on our saving and investments not having been depleted by a wedding, we got a mortgage no problem and have been out viewing straight away.

My friend swears she doesn't regret her wedding one bit, but watching them make sacrifices this year (ie no holiday, each having weekly spending money etc) while we're just living our lives as normal, its very strange to me. If anything, their situation had only convinced me further that small and simple is the way to go for us.

ontheditch2 · 30-05-2019 3:03pm

....... wrote: »

Sounds like people are just invited so they can pay for the party.

I remember Eddie Hobbs popularising this kind of thinking pre recession, he encouraged people to invite 180+ guests as the fixed costs were the same regardless of if there were 100 people or 200 people but youd get much more in cash from more people.

A bit like selling tickets for an event. More tickets, more cash. A bit crass IMO but the idea has certainly stuck for some people.

Crass? Really?

Every wedding I've ever gone to, I've given a wedding gift. A lot of those people will be coming to my wedding, and I'd be very surprised if I don't receive a gift from them. Am I wrong to assume that?

Curious to know how many couples get loans ++

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