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Curious to know how many couples get loans ++

24

Comments

  • Registered Users Posts: 8,268 ✭✭✭ PlentyOhToole


    If people are truly honest with themselves the reason they're spending upwards of €20K on a party is an excercise in keeping up with the Jones'.

    There are people out there who can well afford a 20K wedding and more besides.

    Personally I'd budget first and foremost with what money/savings I had but I wouldn't rule out a small loan of say up to 3K if I felt it would transform my day in some way.

    However, there is a saying "Necessity is the mother of invention"- people can get very creative in terms of how they go about their wedding plans, if money is tight.

    Move from a 120 person wedding in a hotel to a family-only 30 person wedding reception in a private room in an upmarket restaurant followed by a big party in a nice hotel ballroom for friends etc.

    Some people feel pressure unnecessarily but best advice is start saving early for the wedding you want- if you can't afford a 20K wedding, then don't buy one. But don't scrimp either.


  • Registered Users Posts: 12,653 ✭✭✭✭ lazygal


    I'd never give a huge cash gift for a wedding abroad. They're so expensive and time consuming to attend.


  • Registered Users Posts: 15,387 ✭✭✭✭ iamwhoiam


    lazygal wrote: »
    I'd never give a huge cash gift for a wedding abroad. They're so expensive and time consuming to attend.

    I will probably get shot down for this but a wedding abroad is cheaper for the couple and hugely expensive for their guests . Its a selfish move in my opinion


  • Registered Users Posts: 7,501 ✭✭✭ Outkast_IRE


    iamwhoiam wrote: »
    I will probably get shot down for this but a wedding abroad is cheaper for the couple and hugely expensive for their guests . Its a selfish move in my opinion


    I do agree with you. My brother had his wedding abroad and for each guest it would of been €300 each miniumum to get there and pay for a basic hotel for a few nights. Then airport transfers etc. add on more, using up probably 2 days of your annual leave etc.



    He was bragging about how little it cost them as they provided the alcohol to the hotel etc.



    If its a wedding abroad , unless you are a very close family member or a very close friend then its an immediate no thank you from me.


  • Registered Users Posts: 929 ✭✭✭ Shelli2


    We will hopefully be covering everything with savings and a small gift from my father, but if we're a bit short we might get a small CU loan, buy nothing that couldn't be paid off within 6 months.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 8,268 ✭✭✭ PlentyOhToole


    iamwhoiam wrote: »
    I will probably get shot down for this but a wedding abroad is cheaper for the couple and hugely expensive for their guests . Its a selfish move in my opinion

    I wouldn't shoot you for saying that. i suppose in the two weddings abroad I went to, I made my holiday from it as well so it worked out really well. they were close friends too- great venues etc so really quite special - had they not been close friends though I'd probably have given my excuses and wished them well on the day.


  • Hosted Moderators Posts: 11,365 ✭✭✭✭ Scarinae


    iamwhoiam wrote: »
    I will probably get shot down for this but a wedding abroad is cheaper for the couple and hugely expensive for their guests . Its a selfish move in my opinion

    Some of us don’t have much choice. If an engaged couple are from different countries, inevitably some people are going to have to travel to get to the wedding (unless you have a wedding in each location and keep your guest lists totally separate, or else just don't invite people to your wedding).

    Having said that, we're not expecting gifts from people who travel to our wedding.


  • Registered Users Posts: 929 ✭✭✭ Shelli2


    Scarinae wrote: »
    Some of us don’t have much choice. If an engaged couple are from different countries, inevitably some people are going to have to travel to get to the wedding (unless you have a wedding in each location and keep your guest lists totally separate, or else just don't invite people to your wedding).

    Having said that, we're not expecting gifts from people who travel to our wedding.

    But that's completely different to an Irish couple going abroad to keep costs down, and then expecting guests who have had to incur large travel expenses to attend to also give cash presents.


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,825 ✭✭✭ LirW


    Scarinae wrote: »
    Some of us don’t have much choice. If an engaged couple are from different countries, inevitably some people are going to have to travel to get to the wedding (unless you have a wedding in each location and keep your guest lists totally separate, or else just don't invite people to your wedding).

    Having said that, we're not expecting gifts from people who travel to our wedding.

    That was a huge factor on why we cancelled and removed eloped. I didn't want to get married back home, my family would have had to travel and we weren't arsed doing it in a destination.
    When I told my family there won't be a wedding on they were all relieved.
    Went to the states and bought a Livestream and everyone had a ball, friends of mine did a big streaming party in their houseshare!


  • Registered Users Posts: 15,387 ✭✭✭✭ iamwhoiam


    Scarinae wrote: »
    Some of us don’t have much choice. If an engaged couple are from different countries, inevitably some people are going to have to travel to get to the wedding (unless you have a wedding in each location and keep your guest lists totally separate, or else just don't invite people to your wedding).

    Having said that, we're not expecting gifts from people who travel to our wedding.

    That is completely different . I fully understand that and the reasons
    My post was about Irish couples boasting how cheap their wedding was abroad , forgetting totally that their guests pay a fortune to get there


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  • Moderators, Entertainment Moderators Posts: 17,576 Mod ✭✭✭✭ ixoy


    Not at all. We went in with the attitude that we had to be able to pay everything up front and presume we'd get nothing from anyone who had come to it. That's the only safe way really to finance it!


  • Registered Users Posts: 372 ✭✭ ontheditch2


    Getting married next June, and expect to be getting a small loan to tie us over for the few months before the wedding.
    Bought a house in the last 3 months, and whatever savings we had, have been poured into that. We are starting from scratch essentially.
    We have not received any assistance from parents in buying the house and will receive normal family gifts from them for the wedding, so everything we have will be self financed essentially.
    I expect we will be getting a loan of €5-8,000 in the weeks leading up to the wedding, to cover the costs of everything and would be hopeful of paying it off a week after the wedding, with the wedding gifts.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 9,057 ✭✭✭ .......


    I expect we will be getting a loan of €5-8,000 in the weeks leading up to the wedding, to cover the costs of everything and would be hopeful of paying it off a week after the wedding, with the wedding gifts.

    Sounds like people are just invited so they can pay for the party.

    I remember Eddie Hobbs popularising this kind of thinking pre recession, he encouraged people to invite 180+ guests as the fixed costs were the same regardless of if there were 100 people or 200 people but youd get much more in cash from more people.

    A bit like selling tickets for an event. More tickets, more cash. A bit crass IMO but the idea has certainly stuck for some people.


  • Registered Users Posts: 8,512 ✭✭✭ baby and crumble


    If people are truly honest with themselves the reason they're spending upwards of €20K on a party is an excercise in keeping up with the Jones'.

    I get where you're coming from but I don't know if you can blanketly say that. Ours was probably close to that when you took everything (outfits and honeymoon included) but 'keeping up' with others genuinely never entered our heads. We're generally fairly sensible with money, and we wanted a big party for all our friends and family. We waited a really, really long time to get married.

    A lot of the stuff we decided on was a bit more expensive but a lot of that was stuff that has been used a fair bit since. Since the wedding my wife has worn her wedding dress 3/4 times, I've worn my tux 5/6 times. I'll be wearing it at least another 5 times this year. All our decorations have been reused either by someone else for their wedding or by friends who run events as extra decor.

    I think there's a big difference between people taking out a loan for a wedding that they can comfortably enough pay back within a reasonable timeframe and someone taking out a crazy loan that will cripple them financially.


  • Administrators, Politics Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 25,602 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭ Neyite


    The other thing to bear in mind about spending big money on a wedding is that for a lot of couples, they may want to start a family after they marry - and if they do, then they might be facing maternity / pregnancy related costs as well as mortgage/rent and a sizeable loan repayment for their wedding.

    So if you want to start a family, then it's worth factoring that into the repayment term of your loan and have it well out of the way before baby related costs heap on top of it.


  • Registered Users Posts: 189 ✭✭ PinkLady2016


    If people are truly honest with themselves the reason they're spending upwards of €20K on a party is an excercise in keeping up with the Jones'.

    I think you are right and its crazy money to spend on a wedding. Were going to use savings for ours and wont be getting a loan.


  • Registered Users Posts: 452 ✭✭ silent_spark


    I think this just comes down to people’s general approach to money and debt. There will always be the type of people who are happy to regularly get loans (for cars, holidays, computer upgrades, weddings etc) and the type of people who prefer to pay cash for non-capital items (even if that means delaying things, or downsizing expectations). It’s up to everyone to do what they prefer. We’re definitely on the cash side of the spectrum, and paid for our wedding ourselves.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 9,057 ✭✭✭ .......


    I think this just comes down to people’s general approach to money and debt.

    And what people consider to be a dream wedding.

    For me personally I would have HATED a traditional Irish wedding, I would have hated to be centre of attention, I would have hated having to entertain 180 people, I could genuinely imagine nothing worse than my wedding day being a "sesh".

    But thats what some people want, and a traditional Irish wedding costs money.


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,888 SozBbz


    ....... wrote: »
    And what people consider to be a dream wedding.

    For me personally I would have HATED a traditional Irish wedding, I would have hated to be centre of attention, I would have hated having to entertain 180 people, I could genuinely imagine nothing worse than my wedding day being a "sesh".

    But thats what some people want, and a traditional Irish wedding costs money.

    Exactly. I'm with you on all of the above. We won't be borrowing because I just wouldnt borrow for anything thats not a long term investment, but equally because the day that that money could buy is also my worst nightmare.

    I've friends who had a €50k wedding in the last 2 years. They want to buy a house and are now on a budget to save and won't be in a position to start seriously looking for months yet. They didnt borrow but they spent a lot of what they'd accumulated.

    We just decided a few weeks ago to look at buying again, already having an apartment. Based on our saving and investments not having been depleted by a wedding, we got a mortgage no problem and have been out viewing straight away.

    My friend swears she doesn't regret her wedding one bit, but watching them make sacrifices this year (ie no holiday, each having weekly spending money etc) while we're just living our lives as normal, its very strange to me. If anything, their situation had only convinced me further that small and simple is the way to go for us.


  • Registered Users Posts: 372 ✭✭ ontheditch2


    ....... wrote: »
    Sounds like people are just invited so they can pay for the party.

    I remember Eddie Hobbs popularising this kind of thinking pre recession, he encouraged people to invite 180+ guests as the fixed costs were the same regardless of if there were 100 people or 200 people but youd get much more in cash from more people.

    A bit like selling tickets for an event. More tickets, more cash. A bit crass IMO but the idea has certainly stuck for some people.

    Crass? Really?

    Every wedding I've ever gone to, I've given a wedding gift. A lot of those people will be coming to my wedding, and I'd be very surprised if I don't receive a gift from them. Am I wrong to assume that?


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  • Registered Users Posts: 3 ET2019


    ....... wrote: »
    Sounds like people are just invited so they can pay for the party.

    I remember Eddie Hobbs popularising this kind of thinking pre recession, he encouraged people to invite 180+ guests as the fixed costs were the same regardless of if there were 100 people or 200 people but youd get much more in cash from more people.

    A bit like selling tickets for an event. More tickets, more cash. A bit crass IMO but the idea has certainly stuck for some people.

    5-8k for 200 people is €25 per head. Not really crass to be fair. A bank will not give you an unsecured loan with out proven repayment capacity in a stressed scenario. Assuming some kind of minimal lump sum pay off in the form of gifts is effective financial planning based on trends, not really 'selling tickets to a party. Did you get a loan for your high horse or buy it outright?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 9,057 ✭✭✭ .......


    Crass? Really?

    Every wedding I've ever gone to, I've given a wedding gift. A lot of those people will be coming to my wedding, and I'd be very surprised if I don't receive a gift from them. Am I wrong to assume that?

    Of course its crass to have a party thats dependent on the cash gifts of the guests!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 9,057 ✭✭✭ .......


    ET2019 wrote: »
    5-8k for 200 people is €25 per head. Not really crass to be fair. A bank will not give you an unsecured loan with out proven repayment capacity in a stressed scenario. Assuming some kind of minimal lump sum pay off in the form of gifts is effective financial planning based on trends, not really 'selling tickets to a party.

    Are you alright there Eddie?
    ET2019 wrote: »
    Did you get a loan for your high horse or buy it outright?

    Theres nothing high horsed about wanting to have a party without expecting the guests to pay for it.

    Just basic manners really.

    But your sums belay your attitude, so no surprise youd think it weird that someone who thinks you should cut your cloth to your measure is on a high horse.

    A high horse, lol.


  • Registered Users Posts: 115 ✭✭ charcosull


    Saved for it. Whatever savings we had = the budget for the wedding.


  • Registered Users Posts: 3 ET2019


    ....... wrote: »
    Are you alright there Eddie?



    Theres nothing high horsed about wanting to have a party without expecting the guests to pay for it.

    Just basic manners really.

    But your sums belay your attitude, so no surprise youd think it weird that someone who thinks you should cut your cloth to your measure is on a high horse.

    A high horse, lol.

    I never said it was weird. It's judgmental. The definition of crass is being without sensitivity or intelligence, which your judgmental responses on a post about whether or not someone should take a small loan to fund their wedding, not a party, embody.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 9,057 ✭✭✭ .......


    ET2019 wrote: »
    I never said it was weird. It's judgmental. The definition of crass is being without sensitivity or intelligence, which your judgmental responses on a post about whether or not someone should take a small loan to fund their wedding, not a party, embody.

    You must be projecting - how many people did you invite to pay off your wedding loan?


  • Registered Users Posts: 3 ET2019


    ....... wrote: »
    You must be projecting - how many people did you invite to pay off your wedding loan?

    Not married or intending to. But its basic accounting. Risk reward analysis. Calling this crass is simply unintelligent, unrealistic, condescending and unnecessary.


  • Administrators, Business & Finance Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 16,766 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭ Toots


    Enough sniping. It is possible to answer the OPs question without being catty and snide. I would remind all posters to familiarise themselves with the forum charter before continuing to post on this thread.


  • Registered Users Posts: 14,435 ✭✭✭✭ Panthro


    I'm Irish and herself is from UK.
    If we ever get hitched it would be a bit of a balls. I'd like to invite 30odd people but I know it's a bit of an ask to get them all over here.
    Considered getting a massive air b n b house and renting it for them.

    Realistically we'd probably have the ceremony in UK, meal afterwards, few drinks.
    Then organise a band and a buffet somewhere back home.

    Bit it's a balls and I've no idea how much it would cost us.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 8,268 ✭✭✭ PlentyOhToole


    Panthro wrote: »
    I'm Irish and herself is from UK.
    If we ever get hitched it would be a bit of a balls. I'd like to invite 30odd people but I know it's a bit of an ask to get them all over here.
    Considered getting a massive air b n b house and renting it for them.

    Realistically we'd probably have the ceremony in UK, meal afterwards, few drinks.
    Then organise a band and a buffet somewhere back home.

    Bit it's a balls and I've no idea how much it would cost us.

    Well if I were one of the 30 and you invited me to a super Michelin star lunch in a great Dublin Michelin star restaurant (take ure pick)- and if you gave me enough notice- I'd flipping make my own accommodation arrangements, book a nice cheap flight well in advance and enjoy my few days in Dublin. I'd certainly not expect you to pay.

    Maybe you're thinking that the family don't have much money? I dunno, but like, if you sort a great day, then the rest is up to the people coming- I wouldn't fret on that.


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