Washing a child's mouth out with soap.

ILoveYourVibes · 27-05-2019 01:26AM

Metaphorically yes.

Get them to recite poetry for five mins every time they swear ....that is much better than soap

I recommend Kubla Khan.

Or five mins singing a song with uplifting lyrics of their choice.

Plus a nice dance to get rid of that nasty swearing 'energy' its quite toxic.

Doing it physically is pointless.

donkeykong5 · 27-05-2019 01:34AM

riffmongous wrote: »

Mrs OBumble wrote: »

You'd be better off addressing the problem of your kid's foul mouth. To get that sort of reaction they must have been pretty bad, not just messing.

We'd be better off if you kept your shìt advice to yourself

Poster was only giving their advice and opinion. Calm down!

Zaph · 27-05-2019 01:40AM

donkeykong5 wrote: »

Poster was only giving their advice and opinion. Calm down!

Unfortunately her advice is always like that, snide and contrary, irrespective of what the actual subject matter is.

FishOnABike · 27-05-2019 01:43AM

I would consider it child abuse. The person responsible should not be allowed in any position where they have children in their care.

If this is how they feel they can treat other people's children I would be concerned how they treat their own children if they have any.

You said it wasn't in Ireland, in Ireland it could be considered a form of criminal assault (non fatal offences against the person act), no idea what the legal situation would be wherever you are.

Depending on the law where you are I would give serious consideration to making a complaint to your equivalent of TUSLA (social services / child protection) and the police.

If other parents do the same it may be paid more attention to.

I would be concerned also that no other adult there intervened to stop this adult forcing children to eat soap. It points to a very lax organisational attitude to child protection.

Suckit · 27-05-2019 01:46AM

Was it all the kids or just yours?

27-05-2019 01:56AM

Rubberchikken wrote: »

im no ' liberal bleeding heart kids are angels etc' type of person but this would be completely unacceptable to me.
cursing - really. how the hell much cursing could anyone do to actually justify an act like that. * sigh*

I was on a train recently where a child (maybe eight or nine years of age) suddenly yelled "****!", or "**** it!". I was sure I had misheard, because his Mum kept speaking to him as normal. A few minutes later he told her that someone was a "****in muppet", and he wasn't going to sit beside him on a school trip. His Mum barely registered it.

An interesting approach to parenting, I thought. The word itself doesn't bother me in the slightest, I'm sure I said it myself as a kid. But not to an adult, let alone my parents, unless I was after a hiding.

It's more the lack of boundaries that I think is the problem. Children are too small to rationalise why certain actions are bad, and sometimes a clip on the ear (or soap in the mouth -- always thought that was a yank thing) are how you help them rationalise it until they can a rational awareness of social norms.

And I'm not one of those people who say "I was beaten black and blue and it did me no harm". I remember being spanked only once. The very threat of it, or the possibility of it, supplied enough cop-on to usually keep me between the ditches.

kowloon · 27-05-2019 02:01AM

simongurnick wrote: »

Not just a saying. Happened to my son this weekend...planning my response

I grew up knowing the saying, never though it was literal. That's messed up.

simongurnick · 27-05-2019 02:58AM

Suckit wrote: »

Was it all the kids or just yours?

3 kids

Victor · 27-05-2019 03:22AM

If only it was done with adults a bit more often.

Rubberchikken · 27-05-2019 03:55AM

id have never cursed in front of my parents. just wasnt done.
my son remembers the first time he used the word @unt in front of me. he was 9. had heard it in school that day. hadnt a clue what it meant if anything but out it came.
i hit no-one but my disappointment and the removal of video games for a week softened his cough:)
he says he still thinks twice when the urge to use the word occurs especially in my company:)

Foweva Awone · 27-05-2019 05:52AM

We were often threatened with that, can't remember my parents ever following through on it though. I wouldn't do it with my own son.

I remember myself and a couple of my siblings used to suck our thumbs, my parents got this nasty-tasting stuff to put on our hands to break us of the habit. I'm kind of glad they did though - they didn't do it with one of my younger sisters, she's a grown adult now and still sucks her thumb (not in public though!), one of her hands is pretty much deformed now as a result.

Peatys · 27-05-2019 06:20AM

riffmongous wrote: »

We'd be better off if you kept your shìt advice to yourself

In general

Noo · 27-05-2019 06:29AM

Kira Sour Tights wrote: »

I'd also get medical advice if it was washing up liquid, as I understand it to have been.

When I was a kid I was curious as to what my tube of bubbles tasted like so I took a little sip. Vomited it all out in my neighbours garden. Didnt tell my parents that I had been sick because even though I was stupid enough to drink the bubbles, I wasn't stupid enough to admit it to anyone.

Anyway moral of the story is washing up liquid will make you very sick.

Midnight Sundance · 27-05-2019 06:34AM

I'd have to be pulled off your one for doing that to my son! Your wife has better composure than I probably would have. I dont blame you for being fuming!!

893bet · 27-05-2019 07:18AM

Look it’s not right but do try and think logically, not emotionally, and deal with it.

No lasting physical harm is done, and maybe your son has learned a lesson.

irelandspurs · 27-05-2019 07:21AM

I always had the song sang to me' forever blowing bubbles' by my siblings because I was always swearing and had this treatment.

Foweva Awone · 27-05-2019 07:40AM

I just don't think it's at all acceptable to punish a child (and especially someone else's child!) using physical force. And yes, I'd consider this to be physical force - it's compromising the child's bodily integrity. It's as bad (if not worse) than hitting the child, it's a violation of their personal space and safety.

I'm not sure what I'd do in this situation, honestly I'd find it hard not to go for an eye-for-an-eye approach and respond in kind by forcing washing-up liquid into the perpetrator's mouth, see how they like it!

Ah no, in reality I'd like to think I'd have more self-control. But my son has been raised to feel safe and secure in himself, no adult has ever laid a hand on him in a violent way. Which is how it should be. For someone to compromise his innocence and peace of mind like that ... I'd be devastated and absolutely raging. No one has the right to do that to a child. It's appalling that this happened. I wouldn't let it go lightly.

lawred2 · 27-05-2019 07:46AM

simongurnick wrote: »

Not just a saying. Happened to my son this weekend...planning my response

What?

Zorya · 27-05-2019 08:06AM

lawred2 wrote: »

What?

I know! It's fairly hard to believe. What a crazy thing. I cannot even imagine how a person would go about doing such a thing - the logistics of it. Tell them to open mouth and insert soap? And for how long? Move it around? Let it just lie on tongue? Force open mouth by inserting soap? Insert lather rather than soap with a sponge or cloth? Make up soapy mix in water and make them swish?

FFS it's ridiculous. That person should not be near children. Honestly, the weirdos who end up near children in some of these types of outing situations.

And as for children cursing, while it is not nice for them to curse and should be discouraged firmly, they will naturally curse now and then, especially in a gang messing around. Not everything needs a reaction.

I don't even know what I would do if this was true. The whole legal route would be such a hassle and stress. Just don't know.

Der Stier · 27-05-2019 08:08AM

Hal3000 wrote: »

You'd be out quickly too on a suspended sentence.

Depends, if they are a tax paying hard worker, likely they will be f*cked for life.

If they are some dole scrounger bottom feeder, then yeah, out in 6 months..

Der Stier · 27-05-2019 08:11AM

Mrs OBumble wrote: »

You'd be better off addressing the problem of your kid's foul mouth. To get that sort of reaction they must have been pretty bad, not just messing.

What nonsense!
Very serious issue, this is POISON!
This stuff can cause cancer, OP take this to the law!!

OldMrBrennan83 · 27-05-2019 08:13AM

Don't do anything except going to whatever body runs this group and the Gardai about it.

_Brian · 27-05-2019 08:14AM

Mrs OBumble wrote: »

You'd be better off addressing the problem of your kid's foul mouth. To get that sort of reaction they must have been pretty bad, not just messing.

I’d agree somewhat in getting to the root of what exactly was going on. Not that what happened is an acceptable reaction but I’d be coming down hard on the kid too for misbehaving and letting themselves down too.

Zorya · 27-05-2019 08:21AM

_Brian wrote: »

I’d agree somewhat in getting to the root of what exactly was going on. Not that what happened is an acceptable reaction but I’d be coming down hard on the kid too for misbehaving and letting themselves down too.

A nine year old cursing? Coming down hard? Letting themselves down? It's only some curse words that they have probably heard hundreds of times around them on streets, media, other kids. It's not a calamity! It's natural for children to imitate and be inappropriate. Just tell them do not curse (or there will be some reaction, such as no games access etc). Or at least tell them do not curse aloud!

I can't believe some people think there is any possible justification for pushing a noxious object/substance into a child's mouth. Yikes.

FishOnABike · 27-05-2019 08:51AM

_Brian wrote: »

I’d agree somewhat in getting to the root of what exactly was going on. Not that what happened is an acceptable reaction but I’d be coming down hard on the kid too for misbehaving and letting themselves down too.

There's a balance to be struck between educating them not to curse because people find it offensive and educating them that it is not OK for someone to assault them.

In this case I think it is more important to educate them that it is not OK for someone to assault them and be more concerned that further punishing them would make them afraid to report any inappropriate action in future.

I would be furious at this adult's inappropriate actions and concerned about the level of oversight and child protection policies + practices in the organisation as a whole.

There are far better ways of dealing with a bit of swearing without resorting to assaulting children.

The children have already been (more than) disciplined. It may provide a valid opportunity to show them it is not OK for someone to assault them, they don't have to accept being mistreated and that there are consequences for adults who misbehave too.

It is important that a child has someone they can trust and feel safe to report any mistreatment to and that it will be taken seriously. Abusers often use fear of further punishment to control and silence their victims.

I don't think the adult in question here should be in any position of authority with children or allowed to work with children. That they were so gormless as to practically boast about it to the OP's wife only shows how clueless they are about how unacceptable their actions were.

I would not be happy unless they were removed from the organisation.

Widdershins · 27-05-2019 08:53AM

No. Just No.

Pretty sure that was meant to be a figure of speech even in the old days.

spurious · 27-05-2019 09:02AM

Widdershins wrote:

Pretty sure that was meant to be a figure of speech even in the old days.

That's what I thought too. OP was this in a country with quite different cultural attitudes to European ones?

simongurnick · 27-05-2019 11:58AM

spurious wrote: »

That's what I thought too. OP was this in a country with quite different cultural attitudes to European ones?

No, not all. We are in Canada. Appreciate the responses here as it has given me a few ideas. Seriously thinking of going to the local law.

flexcon · 27-05-2019 12:15PM

My own mother did this to my Brother and myself when we were 12. We both lied about something and had that lovely soap rubbed on our mouths - 2002

Can't remember when I lied again....

jam_mac_jam · 27-05-2019 12:22PM

Yeah it abusive, especially for something like a curse. Pathetic parents. If you can’t discipline a child by speaking to them then there is something very wrong. I can understand a smack, I wouldn’t do it but can understand why you might. Anybody who does this to a child has problems. Never justified.

Washing a child's mouth out with soap.

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