What do you do when you feel sad?

gmisk · 27-03-2019 05:18PM

Pet the dog, rub his belly, or let him lick my face.
Those all work

Chill out and get a good night sleep works as well.

I think I am generally a positive happy person though thankfully.

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5 · 27-03-2019 05:44PM

I walk, if I'm sad because I'm stressed out about something I can't change or if it's something like a break up or bereavement it's nearly compulsive, I just don't want to keep still. A couple of years ago I'd been staying on my sister's couch for weeks while looking for a rental, was living apart from my OH, in a new job etc. I was on my way back from getting some sh1t news at the dole office and got a message to say I hadn't gotten a room that was about the 20th I'd looked at in a fortnight. Should have been a 5 minute walk, made it to 90 minutes round blocks and down sidestreets and up and down all over the place until I felt better.

A bit of pampering is good too. Do a face mask, hair treatment, wear fluffy things, do your nails.

I can fall into a habit of distracting myself with alcohol even though I know it's the absolute worst thing.

Spending a day being unbelievably nice to everyone. Smiles, compliments, chats even if it's the last thing I feel like, you always get some bit of smiley happiness back.

Hope you're feeling better!

27-03-2019 05:49PM

Apart from counting my blessings, I have 3 coping mechanisms.
1. Go for a long walk and take note of birds, animals and scenery.
2. If it’s too late in the day, I stick Mamma Mia on. By the time it gets to Pierce Brosnan in a wet shirt, it’s usually lifting. By the time he takes his shirt off, I’m ok.
3. If I cannot sleep and don’t want to disturb himself, I stick my headphones in and turn on Radio 1.

There have been a couple of occasions when the above didn’t work and I found talking to my wonderful GP helped a lot. Thankfully, I’ve never needed anything further.

Tacklebox · 27-03-2019 05:53PM

Widdershins wrote: »

The nettle thing is strange but true . Probably the same principle behind certain activities probably best not mentioned on AH. Weirdly enough I get the same feeling from having piercings done. Obviously not everyone wants to have holes made in them and there's a limit to how many I'd have myself no matter how much release it gives. I've decided to have my first 2 body piercings asap and that's the main thing I'm looking forward to .

Nothing like getting inked either, I love a good hour on the tattoo chair or bench lol
No piercings since I was in mosney@ 17 and got a stud in my left year lol

Widdershins · 27-03-2019 07:27PM

Tacklebox wrote: »

Nothing like getting inked either, I love a good hour on the tattoo chair or bench lol
No piercings since I was in mosney@ 17 and got a stud in my left year lol

I've no tattoos , wouldn't suit me but that's interesting ! maybe I could get them to do an invisible one with a dry needle thing

RE feeding or feeling sadness with music , I wouldn't listen to teary stuff or I'd be like Father Damian on the bus in Fr. Ted

Angry shouty music works for me . A couple of Bring Me The Horizon songs are helping me feel energetic instead of restless and stressed which I find can turn into a low mood .

Overall the main thing for me is to throw myself fully into something .

How are you feeling, Succubus?

Airyfairy12 · 27-03-2019 07:42PM

I write my feelings down, I have a little note book that I use, I only use it every few months or so and getting up the motivation to actually write everything down is hard, especially when im already depressed but when I do, I feel 10 times better.
Eating healthy is very important and exercising. I also listen to music, podcasts or read. They dont sound like much but I think little things add up and make a big change in my mood.

Ariadne · 27-03-2019 08:38PM

Widdershins wrote: »

I've no tattoos , wouldn't suit me but that's interesting ! maybe I could get them to do an invisible one with a dry needle thing

RE feeding or feeling sadness with music , I wouldn't listen to teary stuff or I'd be like Father Damian on the bus in Fr. Ted

Angry shouty music works for me . A couple of Bring Me The Horizon songs are helping me feel energetic instead of restless and stressed which I find can turn into a low mood .

Overall the main thing for me is to throw myself fully into something .

How are you feeling, Succubus?

Thanks for asking Widdershins

It's nice to see all of the replies and how people cope in their own individual ways!

Today was a better day, I listened to sad songs on spotify last night, had a cry for myself and got most of it out of my system. I'm going to take myself off for a walk tomorrow and see if a bit of exercise helps!

alta stare · 27-03-2019 08:41PM

Succubus_ wrote: »

So folks, as the title says. What do you do when you feel sad or lonely? I'm in one of those moods where it feels like no matter what I do I'll still feel completely alone in this world, unable to connect to another human. Does this happen to all of us at times? How do you comfort yourself? I seem to spend my whole life trying to distract myself to stop myself from feeling anything. Anything to fill the hole (heh). The void.

I find listening to some music that i listened to when i was younger helps pick up my mood. Then i put on some 50s rock an roll

i just love how upbeat it is.

Autecher · 27-03-2019 08:53PM

Like many others here, a good long walk can do wonders. Get some music you like going into your head along with the exercise. I've been depressed as far back as I can remember and I swear exercise works better than any antidepressant I have ever taken (not that i would ever discourage anyone from taking them though, I just don't think they are for me).

Not to make it all about me and I know this will sound weird but I would love to have a good long cry like you did succubus, I haven't cried in about 10 years and even then it took a lot of stuff for it to happen. A good cry a few times a year I think would be a great release.

Spleerbun · 27-03-2019 09:47PM

I usually think of, for example, the blind people I sometimes see on the train. Or the severely disabled child I sometimes see being pushed around down the village. I find that when I remember these poor people my problems usually don't seem all that bad.

But there are times when the only thing that helps is time. "The greatest healer" and all that

27-03-2019 09:49PM

On foot of this thread I spent the drive home this evening listening to my uber depressing wallow music..

Mam of 4 · 27-03-2019 10:14PM

Watch reality shows , mindless tv to switch off the thoughts in my head . Crawl into bed and eventually doze off watching whatever show I'm watching .

And then face whatever is getting me down , say the outcome will be whatever it will be , and then stop stressing over it , my sad thoughts won't change the outcome .

ToddyDoody · 27-03-2019 10:43PM

Succubus_ wrote: »

So folks, as the title says. What do you do when you feel sad or lonely? I'm in one of those moods where it feels like no matter what I do I'll still feel completely alone in this world, unable to connect to another human. Does this happen to all of us at times? How do you comfort yourself? I seem to spend my whole life trying to distract myself to stop myself from feeling anything. Anything to fill the hole (heh). The void.

I read. 'Read when you're miserable' and can widen the scope to listen to a podcast / audio book. Feel free to go into the mindfulness / spirituality / psychology section, some of which might seem like balderdash a bit but can be good company. Thomas Moore who authored Care of the Soul, Soul Mates and Dark Night of the Soul might appeal.

_Godot_ · 28-03-2019 03:20AM

I eat a lot, especially chocolate and biscuits, looking for that sugar high.

mvl · 28-03-2019 06:18AM

what works for me lately is having purpose beyond the reason that gets me sad. but on my low days I would binge watch ... that's pretty much the only addiction I allow myself these days when in a bad place.

Ariadne · 28-03-2019 08:36AM

[Deleted User] wrote: »

On foot of this thread I spent the drive home this evening listening to my uber depressing wallow music..

Did it help CQD? I hope you're feeling a bit better today.

28-03-2019 08:52AM

Succubus_ wrote: »

Did it help CQD? I hope you're feeling a bit better today.

Haha..I wasn't even that depressed..just your general existential angst..It probably altered my playlist for the next week though..
I am alright today though.. Hope you are feeling a bit better too..

Wanderer78 · 28-03-2019 08:58AM

Exercise all the way

Sephiroth_dude · 28-03-2019 09:07AM

I listen too casiopea

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AKgjOCuW_MU

Autecher · 28-03-2019 09:51AM

Sephiroth_dude wrote: »

I listen too casiopea

Damn I think I will now too. That is infectious as funk!

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts · 28-03-2019 06:30PM

Wibbs wrote: »

Aye, there's a major distinction there and a major difference between depression and feeling sad as an acute phase. I have noticed down the years with folks I know with depression, perspective tends to go out the window and introspection increases to an awful degree and the worse the condition the worse those things are. Horrible to be stuck in that.

IMHO there should be more of that distinction, as more and more are being diagnosed with depression and anxiety. And medicated for it, often permanently. I could pop into any number of my local GP's and after a ten minute "consult" where I dropped a couple of symptoms I'd come out with a diagnosis of "depression" and a script for SSRI's and Xanax. Please come back in three weeks. Where they'll up the dosage, or change to another type and throw in something for sleeping better, rinse and repeat.

Again in my humble it's a disastrous trend. One with little actual medical science backing either. And no I don't mean SSRI type meds are "useless sugar pills pimped by Big Pharma™*". They have clear efficacy in cases of severe depression and have proven to be lifesavers in those folks(though there are very interesting studies regarding placebo. The more depressed someone is the less they respond to placebo is one). I mean stuff like "oh it's like diabetes, you've a "chemical imbalance" in your brain". Slight diff there; with diabetes you can clinically measure insulin and blood sugar levels in your body, with the neurotransmitters involved in the brain, you can't. It very much reminds me of how antibiotics were used. Obviously a totally different set of drugs and with much better clinical science behind them, but they too were lifesavers for millions, but then were doled out for every sniffle and wheeze and that didn't go too well.

Consider America where the pill for every ill is endemic as an idea(ever buy an American magazine and how many drug companies advertise in them. Mad). In the US one in six are on this class of drugs(and women are three times more likely to be on them. Mother's little helper. Again). That's not good.

Not my experience at all. I’ve been on antidepressants on a few occasions and the doctors were not all that willing to prescribe them. It was a last-ditch thing after a few visits. I was clinically depressed but they made sure I was. As for Xanax, you’ll get a few days supply, that’s it. As in 2-3 days, maybe 4 days if you’re lucky. But generally doctors are very reluctant to prescribe Xanax at all. They are most certainly not prescribed willy nilly. This is doctors in different parts of Ireland and the UK.

Autecher · 28-03-2019 06:44PM

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts wrote: »

Not my experience at all. I’ve been on antidepressants on a few occasions and the doctors were not all that willing to prescribe them. It was a last-ditch thing after a few visits. I was clinically depressed but they made sure I was. As for Xanax, you’ll get a few days supply, that’s it. As in 2-3 days, maybe 4 days if you’re lucky. But generally doctors are very reluctant to prescribe Xanax at all. They are most certainly not prescribed willy nilly. This is doctors in different parts of Ireland and the UK.

The opposite for me. I have told every GP I have ever seen for depression that I have thought about killing myself and each time I walked away with a prescription for enough anti-depressants to do it. Not Xanax I must point out but it has happened every single time except the last time when I refused any, I thought it was just their go to reaction, you are depressed so take these to feel better.

Daisy78 · 28-03-2019 07:31PM

Getting out into nature, anywhere with trees

I used to live right beside the Phoenix Park and I swear it was the only thing that kept me sane in a very unhappy phase of my life. I’m not at all sporty so the usual advice of exercising never worked for me. But there is something very restorative about being in nature that lifts your spirit, maybe you breathe deeper or perhaps the stillness allows you to quiten your mind. I think the Japanese are definitely onto something with this forrest bathing idea.

28-03-2019 08:18PM

I'm sorry you're having blue times OP.

I'm lucky in that I'm not prone to dark times but sometimes life just keeps kicking you and it's been hard not to struggle after losing two family members last year. That's different from serious depression of course, but there are a few things that work for me both as a distraction and to lift a mood.

Exercise. Not always possible for people but getting into a pool and doing laps until I can't do any more is a great thing for me and can turn a bad day around for me. Same for running but for some reason it's a bit less effective. I think using your body and tiring yourself out takes the focus off your mental state.

Meditation is something I do daily, it's like switching myself off and on again. Clearing my mind gives me a little holiday from myself and presses the reset button on my mood. It's taken me a long time to get to that stage, but it was totally worth persevering with.

There are days when I'm very sad and all I can do is lean in to that, feel the feelings and remind myself it's normal, that it'll pass, that nothing I'm experiencing is unique in human experience, and that life goes on. I'm an upbeat person by nature and I know I'll be 'myself' again when it passes. On bad days, much fewer now thankfully, I'll tell myself that the only day I have to get through is today. Tomorrow is another story.

Sometimes all you can do is get up in the mornings and live your life as best you can, and doing that to any extent is a triumph.

buried · 28-03-2019 08:27PM

I like to read a good History book. Nothing like delving into the violent bloodbath of the past to put the present into perspective. I also like to go for a good walk, walk anywhere, walk for a good bit to get a bit lost and out the slouch funk vibe what usually brings on the feelings of "UUghhhhhhh". I listen to music now a bit more too. I could never listen to things or watch TV or shows to get out the feeling of "uughhhh" it just made it worse. Too familiar. Spotify is great now because you can just go listen to something totally new at the push of a screen and get involved/dissect with that for a hour or two. Reading or walking are still the two main keys for me when I get like that.

HappyAsLarE · 28-03-2019 08:31PM

It’s so hard constantly fighting the urge to get $hitfaced. I find it’s the only thing that gives me relief. But I’ve learned the long way that the drugs don’t work, they just make me worse.

Ariadne · 28-03-2019 08:34PM

So, I went for a walk today and it did me the world of good. A walk is about as exhausting as a run for me so it definitely tires me out. It was an uphill slog but I felt so good after it. I sat for a while on a bench in the sun and did some mindfulness, I listened to the birds, I looked at the view. I listened to music. It was so peaceful. I'll definitely try to get myself out more often for that. I hope ye are all having a good day today

28-03-2019 08:37PM

Succubus_ wrote: »

So, I went for a walk today and it did me the world of good. A walk is about as exhausting as a run for me so it definitely tires me out. It was an uphill slog but I felt so good after it. I sat for a while on a bench in the sun and did some mindfulness, I listened to the birds, I looked at the view. I listened to music. It was so peaceful. I'll definitely try to get myself out more often for that. I hope ye are all having a good day today

Delighted to hear that! I hope it's the first of many, many good days. And don't forget that there's always someone to talk to on the bad days, even if it's just a load of usernames on the internet giving bad advice with good hearts.

Wibbs · 28-03-2019 08:55PM

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts wrote: »

Not my experience at all. I’ve been on antidepressants on a few occasions and the doctors were not all that willing to prescribe them. It was a last-ditch thing after a few visits. I was clinically depressed but they made sure I was. As for Xanax, you’ll get a few days supply, that’s it. As in 2-3 days, maybe 4 days if you’re lucky. But generally doctors are very reluctant to prescribe Xanax at all. They are most certainly not prescribed willy nilly. This is doctors in different parts of Ireland and the UK.

I hear you ODB, but it really seems to depend on the GP. Some most certainly do go straight for the meds after very little of a consult. Case in point a lass I know, only a fortnight ago, again after ten minutes in the GP's surgery, came away with a script for SSRI's and a months supply of Xanax. Well I assume a months supply or near enough, there were three sheets(?) of pills with about 8-10 on each(she was at work so I offered to collect them for her). And I've seen similar with a fair number of people I know among family, friends and exes.

Autecher · 28-03-2019 09:43PM

Another thing I find very good for cheering myself up is the internet. Youtube is great for watching funny, silly videos. A few weeks ago I was angry, sad and stressed about a few things so I was moping in my room. I went on youtube to put some mopey music on but I saw that video of the baby laughing at his dad ripping up paper so watched that, well sure enough 60 seconds later I was laughing as hard as the baby despite having watched that video umpteen times before. From there I was down the youtube vortex of funny baby videos, animal videos, people falling, people doing nice things etc...

I forgot all about myself and felt much better for it.

What do you do when you feel sad?

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